teen pregnancies

Dawn - posted on 01/27/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am having to deal with the teen prenancy issue again! My son got his girlfriend pregnant when he was 20 and she was 17. They were planning on getting married anyway, but still - she was way to young to be a mom and still is. They got married and now are divorced with my beautiful granddaughter in the middle.



I had hoped my younger daughters learned from this and for awhile I thought they had. But last week my 19 yr old daughter told me she was pregnant. I lost it b/c I have wanted so much more for her. She is to graduate from college in May with a Massage Therapist degree/certificate. She is living with her boyfriend and been on birth control. She called the other night after she went to the emergency room b/c they thought she miscarried. She had a rough weekend and went back to the er yesterday and has definitely lost the baby. I am sad for her - it's rough to lose a baby through miscarriage and she knows that i have. But she is so angry with me b/c I didn't want her pregnant to begin with.



I just pray she rethinks this and doesn't get pregnant again until they are married, she is out of college, has a good job and insurance and most definitely ready to the commitment of being a mom. I also hope my youngest daughter has learned from all this.



I am 45 and still making lots of mistakes at being a mom and grandma. What can we do about this? So many young girls are having babies and the babies are suffering.

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Susan - posted on 01/28/2009

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Bless your heart! I understand what you are going through. My daughter had 2 of her friends that got pregnant while a senior in high school. I thought she'd seen how hard it was to be a mom at such a young age. When graduation day came I was so proud cause she got out of high school without being pregnant. What I didn't know was that she was already pregnant. I love my granddaughter (she'll be one on Friday) but I wanted more for my daughter. So now she is raising this child alone (baby's daddy isn't in picture), going to college, working and raising her the best she can. She's had a rough time but she's a good mom. When she told me she was pregnant, I didn't get mad, it was already done. I just hoped that her and her baby would be ok.

Unfortunately, there is not anything that we can do but love and support. They are "adults" now and they are own there own. My daughter is seeing just how hard it is.

User - posted on 01/27/2009

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I know you must be hurting. If I could I'd give you a big, warm, fuzzy hug!!!



Just keep loving them. I believe love is the best tool you can give them, and they will realize that you just mean well.



God bless you and your family,



~Heike

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