Telling four yr old son to do something over and over and over .

Patti - posted on 11/12/2009

I had the the same problem with my son when he was four. It sounds like he may be testing you to see how far you will go. He can see you are angry,he knows you will yell. After a while they have control and that gives a little more freedom to test you a little more. What I did was to take every toy,game and even T.V. away from him. He had to earn them back by listening to what I asked him to do.He may rebel for awhile but he also will become very bored. My son started to see I was the one in charge and things started to go much better around our house.Also, make sure your husband is on the same page with you. If he don't go along with what you are doing it won't work. Sit down and talk about this before you start. My prayers are with you and believe it or not my son is now seventeen and still understands I mean business. We have a great relationship and he loves to call me The General! Hang in there Shannon!

Rose - posted on 11/11/2009

what is it that he likes the most. out of all his toys. Take them away from him for every time you tell him to do something take something off him and only give it back when he has done what you have asked of him

Sadie - posted on 11/11/2009

Hi Shannon, my children are older now but I learned a long time ago to pick my battles. Just change the direction of what he his doing, if what he is doing is bad give him something else to do or bring him in the kitchen and let him help you bake something. If he starts to enjoy sharing with you then you can get him to stop a bad action by offering to do something neat if he stops. I hope this helps....Sadie

Leslie - posted on 11/10/2009

I think it is normal for 4 year olds to need to be told things over and over. It's not that they are ignoring you, it's that they are very focused on what they are doing and don't always think it through. It is especially true for males and they don't get a whole lot better later in life. :) You need to be creative in the things you tell him. I used to have to make up saying and songs to get my kids to do things. What kinds of things is he not remembering?

Regina - posted on 11/10/2009

Pick and choose your battles whats more important and maybe not so important and I have a 16 year old girl and I have to do the same but let her also be herself they do need to pick there battles too you just have to agree on them Good Luck and remember strong willed is not the end:-)

Kathy - posted on 11/10/2009

Time out! Ask him to do what you want, give him time to do it, and then if he does not do what you have asked, put him in time out. If you have never used time out it will be unfamilar, but you may have to stand where you can insist that he stay in the chair or where-ever you put him but he will learn that you are going to make him sit in time out. By doing this you are taking his freedom to do as he wants to insure he will follow your directions.

Stacey - posted on 11/10/2009

Wow my son started having trouble listening atnthat age hes 6 now..i have to yell also..in school hes very good and listens..i have an upcoming conference with his teached and gonna ask her advice,,

Suzanne - posted on 11/09/2009

Hi, Shannon. I really agree with Julie Britton ideas. My middle son has dyslexia. Extremely high IQ But visually & auditory dyslexia(but perfect vision & hearing). I taught school,finally took him to a specialist & got the report. Simple instructions are the best & repeating them back. There are so many new things available but be your childs advocate.

Tishel - posted on 11/09/2009

so sorry you have to go through that, what i have done with mine when they were young, I tell them, example: you need to pick up your toys and put them in a box, once you do that, you will get a prize, or a treat...what I did that really works, was I got a roll of tickets, for all the jobs he did without being told many times, he got a ticket and saved it up for the month, my son got to use the "tickets" to trade in for his choice; lunch at McDs, or whereever, or goto a dollar store...something like that..have a jar for him to put his tickets in...hope this helps! good luck!

Julie - posted on 11/09/2009

Hi Shannon! My middle son, Steve used to be like this. One of the things that finally
helped that i found out when he went to school, is to give them a simple instruction one
at a time. You start with the lst one and see that he does that. Then the 2nd and so on.
With the lst instruction (step) if he doesn't seem to understand, ask him to tell you
what you said. Then proceed with your steps. But use short,simple sentences.
Steve had a short attn span and was easily distracted--all thru his school life.
When i discovered this i tried what i told you, and it worked! Good luck!

Beverly - posted on 11/09/2009

I have the same problem with my 4 yr old daughter Nichole. Like someone suggested, you have to take something away and then she'll usually do it. She also thinks she can control { and she usually does} the tv. If she could it would be on nickalodean all day ,every day! And its the same shows over and over again. How many times can u watch the same Spongebob and I Carly.lol. You'll find something that works. GOOD LUCK!

Karen - posted on 11/08/2009

I feel for you. I have a son that had much the same problems in his early life. First you should make sure that he can hear you - have his hearing checked. Then possibly have him assessed for ADD. If it turns out that he is just being defiant, then do as one of the others suggested and take away a privilege or a toy that he really likes. I admire you for not wanting to yell at him. I feel for you and hope the best for you.

Melissa - posted on 11/08/2009

You are not alone! I have 4 year old (almost) triplets. My DD listens and for the most part will do what I tell her. But the boys... that is another story. If I happen up on something that works today, tomorrow it won't. Time out has been the best thing so far. They hate it. After they get out of time out I will tell them to do it again and we will go back and forth a few times but they do it and it is getting better, they are learning I am not going to back down and they are going to have to do what I told them! Taking something away from them does not work, they don't have a "favorite" toy. They will just move on to something else.
If you come up with something that works let me know. I am always open to suggestions!

Bridgette - posted on 11/08/2009

Take something away that he likes and advise you'll give it back once he starts listening and being obedient....Believe me he's only 4yrs old but they're usually really smart for there age....

Heather - posted on 11/08/2009

Girl I am with you on this one. Aden does the SAME THING and sometimes I feel I could just lose it. What works for us sometimes is when I tell him to do something I actually have to stop what I'm doing and crouch down so I'm "in his face" (not in a bad way just eye to eye so I know he is paying attention) and repeat what I want him to do and have him repeat it back. I ususally still meet resistance (like he crawls on the floor for 3 minutes before going to pick up his toys) but eventually he does what I want (usually). It's hard, it takes all of my patience, and sometimes I am screaming inside. I really think he is so preoccupied with what he is "into" at any given moment that he blocks me out unless I am "in his face". Even then he gets upset with my request b/c I am taking him away from what he wants to be doing (typical I think of a 4 yr. old boy). If you get any other suggestions PLEASE send them my way b/c I am dealing with the same thing!!!!