tired

Esmeralda - posted on 03/17/2009

Hi all 40+ moms... I am 41 and have a 15yr old son and 9yr old daughter. Of late I feel the way Angela feels. Totally SPENT but i cannot let my children pick that vibe up from me. I need to keep going.

My son has leukemia and his dad is in denial about it and this makes life a little tough for me at times. I am not complaining here because i believe God won't give us a cross too heavy to carry if HE didn't know our strength, RIGHT?

Anyway, has a son who needs my attention all the time and having a daughter who totally hates me because she believes i don't care for her as much as for her brother, sometimes kills my spirit and i just wish i could run away from it all. Times come when i feel i NEED A BREAK... I want to have girlfriends who will understand and not just ask me how am i doing and how the kids are... i feel I need hands on friends, who will just come over and do my dishes for me, or make supper for my family so that i can just relax.

Am i being unreasonable?  Am I expecting too much?

Why do my 'so-called' friends just stay away when i tell them i need a break or need some help?

Christine - posted on 03/16/2009

angela, sadly enough, if it were not for pharmaceuticals i would not be functioning at all.  as it is, i am probably in survival mode most of the time.  i feel like a lousy mother.  i used to cook and sew and can and loved to feel domestic.  at some point i just burned out---but i think i didn't take good care of myself----you know how invincible you are when you are young!!    if i take enough meds, i am able to feel fairly normal sometimes for several hours at a time.  i actually went on a field trip to the lamb farm with my pre-schooler---a first for me---and i go in every tuesday and play the piano for them.  last year, i played church volleyball.  i always took pain killers before i went, but i think that the distraction and little bit of exercise i got did me good.  i couldn't play this year because i had carpal tunnel surgery in both wrists.

as far as feeling guilty-----i always feel guilty about everything!!!!!

christine

Jeanne - posted on 03/16/2009

Welcome tired Mom! aboard our over 40yrs old mums....................sounds like YOU NEED AWAY FOR MOM ANGELA..............................plan it! take it! and enjoy it................every mother NEEDS her TIME for herself most difenitely because if MOM is not working/functioning properly then everything in house will the same there a saying "If mama is not happy / THEN / nobody else will be happy"............................go away I dare you! lol

My name is Jeanne I have 3 children my older son Sylvain is 19 years old with Twins Matthieu (ADHD) & Natalie will turning 17 years old on the 3rd of March. I'm a single mom over 40 will be 45 this coming May. Yes it's tough but I wouldn't change it or change them for the world!

As for me with 3 teenagers............tuff...but I tell them I will not tolerate that kind of behavior or that is not acceptable in this house.........that's the main thing, because with teen years then want to be 20 years old and they know everything. Another trick I did last year I changed all my portable phones and know I 2 desktop phone.....with help I can keep track how long they're on the phone......(shhh I partially listen to there conversation this helps a little) I also have about 4 calendars in my house each with there name on it .........and I keep track of dates such a prepare for test, when project are due. I have a lot of little tricks up my sleeve...ect...lol

I've battling chronic depression + anxiety for over 15 years and now I have Fibromyalgia  this major work for me to be a stay home mom, and sick......because I loved my career and working Mom.........my doctor after 2 years wants me to go on disability........I finally agreed, but very difficult to do at my age......they I sort of look at it will say on my tombstone that I was a good career women........God must have a plan for me..........because he put me in this direction for a reason!

Anytime you need a chat or just vent out don't be shy because we're here to help one another learn & grow! This is such an amazing web sight over 40yrs old mums there is something for everyone and  if need help or have questions there’s always someone has been affected because we're here to help one another. That’s how we learn & grow by sharing are different experiences.....I just love it! Jeanne

Take care of you because nobody else will! Keep in touch and let me what happends!

Jeanne