What are your thoughts about having your grown kids so far away?

Anita - posted on 03/04/2010 ( 56 moms have responded )

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Christopher and Michelle are all grown up and living in California. Every day I miss them so much. Last time we saw them was on our vacation in 2008 and hope to see them again real soon. Our granddaughter lives with her Mom *Michelle* and she's growing up so fast and deep down I feel she really doesn't know her Grandma cuz we don't see her every day. Guess I am feeling a bit guilty in my own way because I made the personal choices to move. I would like to know other Moms thoughts to help me make the distance easier...even if just for the emotional support and kind words.

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Victoria - posted on 04/05/2010

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My grandaughter who is two and a half has just left two days ago to go home after visiting me for 3 weeks. I am having a hard time dealing with her being gone. She is my first grandchild and I love her dearly. I was cleaning this afternoon and found her slippers ( I must of forgotten to pack) which made me cry and relive the pain all over again. Is there anyone else facing this type of situation? It seems I spend a great deal of my life missing the ones I love. My son lives about 2 hours away and has his own life and my daughter and grandaughter live in 9 hours away. Parents live far away as well. Holidays are very difficult for me.

Sylvia - posted on 03/10/2010

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Anita, u can stop kicking ur self for moving, Focus on now, there are so many things u can do to keep contact. Send homemade cards with pics of u. There is the web cam since u have a pc u could see and talk to her every nite or after school. And there is always the phone calls, (if u have the money get her a cell the one with limitation and gps), you can chat with her and send her pics of you cooking, shopping, dinning and u can also text her just "I love U".or "Thinging of U" We all know that kids know more about this tech than woman our age ha ha...
Don't ever lose hope. Our youngest granddaughter is 11 months, my husband has been in the hospital for 5 months straight. She has pics of her pa pa and he has all 8 of our grandkids pics. He calls her on a regular basis and my daughter calls pa pa at the hosp on a reg basis. when she hears him she claps and says pa pa and kisses the phone and gets upset when my daughter end the call. My husband keeps in contact with the grandkids and they all call him or have their parents call our grandkids range fm age 10ys - 9months. They only care that u want to talk with them, and you'll will be surprise that they start to want to call you up..

[deleted account]

To put it bluntly - IT SUCKS!!!! lol, now that, that is off my chest, I feel a little better for a moment.
OK, seriously, I miss them and their children soooo much, it's killing me, so I do a lot of long distance driving, lol.
At the moment I'm in Al and one child is 420 miles south and the other is 425 miles north. So you can see what I'll be doing with my spare, joke there, money.
For me, I miss my children, but missing the grand children growing up is the worst part.

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Mimi - posted on 12/08/2013

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Hi Kenetra
I know this is an older post but when I read how your daughter lives in Australia, I could absolutely relate. My daughter left 2 years ago on an adventure to Australia to work as a physiotherapist. She was suppose to be gone from Feb to Sept of the same year and return home. Unfortunately she stayed a full year and met someone a couple of months before her return. Because her Visa had expired she was forced home but returned to Australia 7 months later.
She just came for a visit with her boyfriend and now they have returned to Australia where they are building a house. When she first went it was because I believed in my child living her life and enjoying the opportunities the world had to offer her. Now I think of the future and grand-children that won't have the relationship I have with my other grand-son and I feel somewhat sad and a lot resentful. I simply don't think I have the right to feel that way and I am looking for positive feedback as to how to allow her to live her life without my sadness making her feel guilty. We raise our children to learn to fly and to live their lives and when they do we tend to want to clip their wings!
We do live in an amazing time where technology allows us to connect in ways never imagined before. So why is it that I don't feel that's enough? My oldest daughter had cancer earlier this year and this brought my daughter home from Australia for 2 weeks to help out. I truly value family and we tend to have a pretty amazing family with about 40 close family members nearby that are very supportive of each other. This is also why I just don't get why my Australian traveller chooses to be in Australia with 8 members of her boyfriends family that are not very close, versus us. She says the cold weather has driven her away as we live in the center of Canada, where yes it certainly can be nippy. I always say that this cold builds character (somehow!lol). I also tell myself that old saying that says to set something free and if it comes back it's yours if it doesn't it never was. I can't say that actually brings me any comfort though. I married to her father and we have an awesome busy life, yet I yearn for her to return home. I'd appreciate anyone out there who has read my long winded message who has any words of wisdom to reply. I would very much appreciate it. Thank you. Mimi

Ruby Marie - posted on 05/10/2013

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I have 2 daughters that live in a different state than I do and one has my first grandson. To keep in connect with them we video chat with each other daily. This way my grandson see his gamma and I get to see him. And he is only 4 years old and I miss the dickens out of him.

Catherine - posted on 05/03/2013

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Hi,
I just put up a similar blog in Google, which took me to your message.
How long have they been away from you and do you have Skype?

I know exactly how you feel, we wouldn't be mums if we didn't have some feeling.
Both mine went off to other countries, one because he had to with his business, but last year he married the mother of his child, who is now two and he wants her to be educated in the U k, so hopefully his Tanzanian wife will settle here.
However, the other one, has only been in the U K twice for a short period, since 2006, when he went off to NZ. He too is now married to a lady from NZ and they had a baby in Dec, when he was on a two year contract this side of the globe in Qater,
We went to see them in Feb, but on Wednesday they flew back to NZ, where I know our grandchild will have such an enjoyable life with a big family over there, but it is difficult not to miss them, especially now we are getting older and only have connect through the computer. also the time zone. After a week or so, I seemed to adjust and think of the positive side, in other words, I am sure you are happy that they are in a place they want to be in etc.

Cath

Yolanda - posted on 11/21/2012

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I really make a mistake by moving far away from them. I do not know what I was thinking but I didn't have a choice but to sell my house and move. I was thinking to be closer to my sisters, and that didn't work out. Now I regret that move and paying the consequences of been alone. I cannot find a job so now I have to sell this house again to be able to move back close to my kids: don't know how long that is going to take. I don't know if it is going to be possible to re-establish my relationship with them. I had ask them to forgive me for moving so far away from them. I really miss them so much it is very lonely here for me. I really know what you are feeling but what I'm doing is trying to get back closer to them. I would like just to leave this place be with them. This thanksgiving is going to be very lonely here for me. My son is working and my daughter still going to college they cannot make the trip to where I am.



My advice is to continue having contact with your kids like I do I call them every day. But still feels very lonely.



Take care



Yolanda

Nancy - posted on 07/22/2011

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I'm so glad I'm not alone! I have two daughters - one moved from Ontario to Nova Scotia for school, met a boy, and stayed. She's been there for 7 years now. My youngest daughter moved a couple of hours away for school, and then she moved to Nova Scotia after she graduated.

I'd move there in a heartbeat, but we have too many obligations here for the time being.

I miss them very, very much but I'll add my voice to the recommendations of staying connected via facebook and Skype. We talk a couple of times a week, and it's a whole lot better than nothing.

I do dread when they have kids, and my heart goes out to all the grandmas who are far away from their granchildren.

Susan - posted on 07/17/2011

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Oh Anita, I feel your pain. I have 5 children...the youngest is 17 and, thank God, is still living at home. But my other 4 children are so far away. The worst is my 2nd child who is 26 and moved to Newfoundland (we live in Texas). He met a girl on an airplane, fell in love thanks to technology (skype, email, etc.) and moved up there to be with her. Though I miss him terribly, the hardest part is not being able to see my granddaughter. I was fortunate enough to be there when she was born, but she's 4 months old now and changing daily. She won't know me at all. My heart is broken. He's been gone 2 years so you'd think it would be getting easier but I still cry all the time. If I could at least see them a couple of times a year i would be satisfied, but it costs SO MUCH to fly there ($1150, approximately) that I can't afford it. My heart is broken. I'm clinically depressed because of it. My children have always been my whole world. I knew, of course, they'd grow up and move away, BUT ALL THE WAY TO ANOTHER PLANET???

Kenitra - posted on 04/06/2010

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I live in the states, my daughter, her husband and their kids live in Australia. It is hard, but thanks to Skype and Facebook, we keep in touch. Last night when I was talking on the phone to my 10 month grandson, my daughter video taped it and posted it on Facebook. I got to see how he reacted to me when he was talking to me.



Try video taping yourself reading books to your grandkids, or start a video journal.

[deleted account]

my son lives in South Dakota, I live in Montana. we can't travel there all the time, nor can he travel here. my granddaugther is currently in England with her mother (that's a whole other issue that is being worked on, they are not separated by choice). At any rate, check into Skype and talk via the internet once a week or more if it fits the schedule. send small gifts or cards to let your granddaugther and kids know you love them & miss them. also, the road goes both ways, why don't they come to see you?

Mary - posted on 03/11/2010

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i am facing that now. my son is stationed in germany but deployed ot afghanistan and they just had there first son in january. i have seen pictures but won't see him unti l i go next month. when i get back home i don't think i will see him again until fall 2011. Friends told me to get a web cam so you can talk and see your grandkids. i have one but i haven't used it because my daughter-in-law doesn't like it. i will use it when my son is back at home. my second son is being transferred now and i will miss my grandson.

Denise - posted on 03/10/2010

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Hi Anita I know your pain. I have two kids 26 and 22 who both moved to Alaska in the last 3 years. My 22 yr. old just got married recently and is expecting her first child in Nov. I too wish they lived closer but I am happy as long as they are happy. Here is what makes things easier for me. We all have the same cell phone plans so we can talk to each other as much as we want without using minutes. We are all on facebook so we can send pictures to each other and communicate daily if we want. The next step for me will be getting a camera to mount on my computer and connect to "Skype" so I can see my grand baby when it arrives. That way as it grows up it will always know who I am. And of course we make the trip to see them every year or they come back home. There are so many things that can keep you close these days. Thank goodness for computers and all the other electronic devices out there. Hope this helps.

Tricia - posted on 03/10/2010

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Anita Hi, My son live in Utah, and I am in Oklahoma, so all my grandkids are far away. it is had and I dont like it. but I try to keep my self busy. No kids at home now, I miss that very much. It does make it had them so far away. But I try to see my friends kids and play with them and it helps.

Sylvia - posted on 03/10/2010

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Breaks my heart to have any famly member far away. but I would call on a regular basis and write and web cam. I do not want anyone to forget me ever!!!

Antoinette - posted on 03/10/2010

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We really miss our grandchildren and children. They live in Rustenburg and Roodepoort. I guess we can't have everything the way we want it, as long as they're happy.....what can I say? The distance make our love stronger by the day and things worked out well over the years.......they learned to stand on their own feet together as families. I trust God to keep them safe as they grow up and learn to know what's good for them.

[deleted account]

Hi, Anita. I completely understand. I made a choice to move from the town where my daughters, sons, and grandchildren are living. It was a selfish move and I miss them terribly. But there comes a time in our lives that the children have their own lives. We don't become invisible and family bonds are important to hold sacred and active. But it this move made you healthier and happier as an individual, as it has mine, then you have taken care of you. No one else is responsible for that. Now, on the issue of geography. Where most of my children live about 15 miles away and travel is both expensive and time consuming with job issues in the way, todays technology provides all kinds of connections to keep communication alive...particularly of interest to grandchildren. My son lives in China. Its not easy as a mom to be in that arena, but his choice was to move, he is happy there, and we talk digitally. Webcam is fabulous it you need to see your family and can't make it physically. Geography is not a problem. It's an inconvenience. Keep the lines alive and stay well. Just my 51 year old thinking. Hope it helps give you some sense of peace of mind.

Shari - posted on 03/09/2010

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My oldest son is in the Marines and is stationed in Cali at the moment and I have to say I hate it.. I have 2 granddaughters there one of which is a newborn and I haven't been able to see other than through pictures.. One thing that does help is a web cam.. I was able to watch and talk to my oldest of the 2 grand daughters there on her 1st birthday.. I would much rather have actually been there, but this was better than nothing at all.. We can also chat at other times and it helps that she gets to see Grandma on occasion even if its only through a pc..

Pat - posted on 03/09/2010

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Hi Maria and Anita,
I have 3 grown kids and 5 grandkids. They all live in Al. Im in AZ. My oldest son is soon to be 31. He and his wife are getting divorced. He has 3 kids that are in Mich. My oldest Grandson will be 14 in sept. I have not seen him since he was 6. Thats because his mother got remarried and her husband doesn't let her let me see or talk to him. This is very hard as I was in his life til she remarried. Every yr I go to Mich in hopes that I will be able to find them.My youngest son is 27. He has no wife or kids that I know of LOL !! Hr is single and works off the docks unloading trucks for the truck drivers and a lot of the time he is on the road with a driver for weeks at a time. My daughter is 22 today. She has 2 boys 3 and 3 months. I went to see her in November for thanksgiving and was in the delivery room when she had the 3 month old. It was Awesome !!!! My kids and I talk all of the time I get pictures every day by phone. I talk to my grandkids all the time to. I also send care packages to my kids. I dont need a holiday to send things to them I do all yr round. I live to get their calls saying thank you grandma or hi Grandma. It is wonderful. Life is great. They are good kids. Im proud of all of them. There is not a day that goes by that I dont miss them and want to be closer. God is great and my life is good. Even tho they are so far away they live so close at heart. Hope this helps you. You will find the more you talk to them the closer they will be to you. God Bless all you moms and grandmas...

Carole - posted on 03/09/2010

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Hi Anita, I too would recommend Skyp or some other web biased video chat. I discovered this way of communicating on Christmas when I got to do a video chat with a son who is serving a mission for our church. It was the first time in six months that we got to talk and it was wonderful to see him too. I then tried this with another son who lives about six hours away. He has two children, my only grandchildren so far and I got to talk to them as well. It was so much fun and the best part it did not cost a thing. Best wishes

Wanda - posted on 03/09/2010

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All three of my kids still live in Ky.One in Bardstown, One in Campbellsville and one in Shepardsville. It is hard having them so spaced out and so far from me. I especially Miss the time I could be spending with them and the grandkids.

Anne - posted on 03/09/2010

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Hi Anita, I was going to suggest SKYPE also. Cindy Ward is right it is great to be able to use this program. Just go to skype.com and follow their directions. You do need wireless internet, but it is a small price to pay to be able to talk face to face.
When our youngest was in South America last winter for college we were able to "MEET" both of the families she lived with. Our daughters are now out of college but our oldest is remaining in NC and our youngest is remaining in CA WE live in MI. You do not have one thing to feel guilty about. My husband and I do not feel guilty that we are not moving to be closer to our daughters. However we realize that because of the distance we have to do have to do some creative things to stay in touch. Skyping, texting, e-mail, phone calls, and last but not least Praying for our daughters each and every day for Gods Will and Protection.

The one thing I miss the most is not be able to Pray with our daughters daily face to face. However our daughters call me at least once a month asking if we can Pray over the Phone. this does help.

Sandra - posted on 03/09/2010

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MY CHILDREN WILL ALWAYS B IN MY HEART NO MATTER HOW FAR FROM MY HOME THEY R BUT , DOESN'T MEAN THAT U STILL DON'T HAVE THOSE MOTHERLY INSTINCTS CAUSE I DO ALL THE TIME

Mildred - posted on 03/09/2010

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I know how you feel. My oldest daughter lives in GA with her 4 children and my youngest daughter lived in California for 4 years with her children. I live in North Carolina. Last year my youngest got transferred back to NC with the Marine Corps but she still is 5 hours away. When they were transferred to Cali though I bought web cams for the computer. I bought them one and myself one. That helped an awful lot. Speaker phones helped to.

DIANNE - posted on 03/09/2010

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Hi Anita
I can realte to your situation. I have 3 daughters and 2 grandaughters and a grandson on the way, i only have one daughter at home still in college, i know it won't be long till she is gone as well.
I keep in touch as much as possible on the phone, computer, but more every hour or more at times with my texting, i can receive pictures of my grandchildren.
This was the hardest thing for me to have my children away.
I wish you luck, my thoughts and prayers will be with you... Smile :)

Kimberly - posted on 03/09/2010

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Hi Anita. I live in Karachi, Pakistan and my 3 boys 24, 20, & 19 are all in the US luckily in the state. One working and 2 in college. My youngest just left last August. I miss them a lot. I have my ups and downs especially holidays. My children are my life.I know this is part of life but I really wish we were closer. I am so happy the internet and phone system works. I talk to them at least once a week. Skype and Facebook are great too. We all got together and had a wonderful time together Xmas 09 at my parents home. The college boys will be home this summer for a bit but my eldest son I'll see in summer of 2012. Keeping busy,having a great husband who understands, having friends around , lots of pictures in the house of the boys and talking to them as much as possible is what keeps me going.
Do keep in touch with your grandchild as much as possible. My parents got to see my boys every two years for 2-3months only when they were little and the bond they have now is big. My boys seem closer to my folks then my husbands who live near us.
Just know you are not alone and you can do it.

Anita - posted on 03/09/2010

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Good Morning Linda. This is Fun being on Circle of Moms. Reading comments and stories from other Moms that are in the same boat so to speak has helped me understand more of what I have been feeling for a long time. Of course it was my choice to move away knowing I wouldn't be close by to just jump in our car and visit. We are who we are because of those choices...personal or professional. Not always a bad thing but still not easy at times. Life is good here in Colorado.

We hope to get out to California every few years when we can. Work schedules, distance and resources are big factors to that happening. Thankful that Michelle posts a lot.on Facebook...new pics, her status and what's happening. Can't believe Hannah is growing up so fast...she's not so little anymore and being her Grandma makes me so Proud.

Our Kids and Grandkids may be growing up but I refuse...want to be a Kid at Heart forever and forever LOL. Does sound awesome that you can get to Vegas toooo...bringing your grandkids back for Spring Break. Now if our Kids and Granddaughter were living there....we would be visiting them lots more...only a 12 hr drive from Colorado. Speaking of California...our EHS 35th Reunion is planned for Labor Day Weekend 2010. We are seriously planning on attending....with our job tho...that is a busy weekend for retail. Time will tell. Hope to see you there if you attend. Have a great week Girlfriend.

Smiles and Hugs *Anita*

Ann - posted on 03/09/2010

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Hi Anita,

I know how you feel my son lives in Canada I have two grandkids, I miss them so much it takes all my strength not to jump on a plane every week. We skye once a week which keeps me sane and my grandkids know us because of this. We manage to travel there once a year, it is so hard to be away but thats life and we can only do the best we can

Linda - posted on 03/09/2010

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Hey g/f!! Just think how close I live to Chris and Michelle and I never get to see them. lol
Love ya.
Shannon lives in Vegas and Jeremie is in Riverside. I miss not seeing my kids everyday as well, but I do know that I can always reach them by phone and we do talk a great deal. Shan's on facebook (when she's not taking care of Daniel or Samantha (ahhhhh, naptime!!) I only see Jeremie on Sundays at church. I'm going to Vegas on the 26th to bring them to CA for Spring break (well, at least Brit). I go every chance I get because I don't want to miss too much of Daniel and Sammy growing up. Sheesh, Sammy is already 18 weeks old!
Be blessed my friend.

Donna - posted on 03/08/2010

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My daughter lives in Germany. I am in Texas. I haven't seen her in almost 2 years. It is very difficult and we miss her terribly. I console myself with the knowledge that she is happy,healthy and having the time of her life.Plus,with all the forms of communication there are these days I can keep in touch frequently.I kkow what you are going through. Perhaps this won't be a permanent situation.You naver know when something will happen to bring you closer in distance.

Lisa - posted on 03/08/2010

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Hi Anita, I have a daughter that is married to a US Marine stationed in South Carolina. They started out in California, then moved to South Carolina and this August will be moving yet again to North Carolina. I see them if I'm lucky once a year and miss my two granddaughters tremendously. My daughter just recently introduced me to Skype and with this latest technology along with a web cam and microphone...I can actually see and talk to my granddaughters every day. It's the next best thing to actually being there with them. I was so worried that they would not know me as they are 2 1/2 yrs and 11 months old. It is the most thrilling experience to actually spend time with them during my day. They can see me and hear my voice and I can see and hear them, Love it! Give it a try. It's free to download. Best wishes!

Pamela - posted on 03/08/2010

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Hi Anita, I have a grown son my only child he lives in the same state but about 150 miles from me. It is hard but we text each other often and I make a point to see him a couple times per month. Even though we talk often I need to see him. I feel he knows me and his dad are here for him but being on his own has made him a mature person. They are only our babies for a little while.

Anita - posted on 03/08/2010

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Thank you so much Moms for all your warm comments and sharing your stories here. Today is my Mom's Birthday and I know she is watching from above at this moment.....hearing her loving words "Honey I am so proud of you"

~ Happy Birthday Mom......I Love You ~

[deleted account]

It can be rough but we just have to adjust. 12 of our 15 are grown and gone. We live in Ark. and except for the 3 still at home none of the others are here. We have kids in North Dakota, Louisiana, Virginia, and South Carolina. We also have 21 grandchildren which of course are as scattered along with their parents.

Debbie - posted on 03/07/2010

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I would also recommend Skype via the computer- all it takes is a webcam/inexpensive microphone and you can call them with your computer and see/talk to them just like sitting across from them. My 4 yr old loves talking to relatives with it. As a grown child with a 4 yr old living away from family in another country, its hard for me and my child to be away from grandma & grampa but we try & visit 2-3 times a yr. I am in the process of trying to decide where we will live when my husband retires in 5 yrs. As a mom/daughter I am torn between wanting to preserve the bond with my parents/daughter as much as possible qnd moving back to be wqith then, but a part of me wants to be free to live where I choose with my immediate family (hubby me & child) without the guilt of being so far away

Gail - posted on 03/07/2010

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Hi Anita, my daughter was 23 when she moved from Massachusetts to San Diego, CA I was sick about it and everyone told me I would get used to it, that's not true, I would be driving and hear a song and cry, I would look up at the moon and stars and wonder if she was seeing the same sky I was seeing? not a day went by for the 2 years she was gone that she wasn't on my mind. Some mothers can't wait till their kids grow up and go on their own, I am not and never will be that type of MOM, there is nothing I love more than my kids and the closer they are to me the better and I am not ashamed of feeling that way at all.

Gail

Jackie - posted on 03/07/2010

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Anita, I have one kid that lives where we do. she had 4 kids. the first 2 (ages 9 and 8) i helped raise because her and her husband both worked. I baby sat them from the time they were born. the last 2 are7 month old twin girls and i have played a big part in their lives. My son is in the air force and him and his wife are expecting their first child in late may. I am having a really hard time knowing that this child i will not see but maybe once a year at most. I want to be in this childs life but its not under my control. I have talked it over with my son(he is in afghanistan at the moment) and we have decided that we will use the web cam to be more connected. we have decided that at least once a week we (my husband and i) will have at least a couple of hours on web cam with the baby(little girl, mykayla rae) then we wll go see them and he will come home at least once a year. sometimes u have to do something different to keep them in your life. talk to her mom and see what u can work out. it will be worth it

Carine - posted on 03/07/2010

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We live in Namibia and as soon as our children hit high school we have to start thinking about sending them to South Africa for their studies. You think you are well prepared for this, but it is sooo difficult to be so far away. They fall sick, my son`s car got stolen and I am 1400km away and it is so very expensive to fly down there to support him. The first year I phoned him every second day and now that he is in his 3rd year, I phone him once a week and once a week we SKYPE. (He even dares to show me around the house) Its a wonderfull way of communicating and a lovely opportunity to chat to him and his housemates as well. We travel down to CapeTown twice a year and he will come home in between, and every time he comes home he is a little more self confident, grown up and responsible. In three years time my daughter has to go to South Africa and then my youngest son. I can just see myself finding more that two reasons per year to go down south. It is difficult to be so far away, but use all the technology you have at hand. It does help a lot. Good luck and spoil them all rotten when you see them. Both you and they deserve it!!!

Cindylee - posted on 03/07/2010

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These are wonderful postings. Full of ideas and encouragement. I too am a mom/first time grandmother who lives a distance apart. While FL to ME is not that far to some, its miles and miles when travel money is a huge factor!
My daughter sends a daily text photo on my phone, which is a wonderful way to start the day. She keeps updates on Facebook and circle of moms also. We talk on the phone several times a week so that I can hear Kendall and stay connected.
Its not the same as being there and I often ache to hold Kendall and hug Lacey. but I am so grateful to God for a daughter who loves me and cares enough to make me a daily part of their lives!

Pamela - posted on 03/07/2010

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Anita, I too, by my own choice, have moved away from my children. I have one granddaughter who doesn't know me at all. I was there for her birth....and that's about it....she'll be 2 this June. I will be there when she turns 2. I feel horrible that I don't know my granddaughter....guilt overcomes me...not to mention the bluesy whineys that take over when I feel sad cuz she doesn't know me. All 3 of my children, whom I miss terribly, are very productive members of society....they are busy young men and woman. I know that my job with them is over....I have taught them with the very best of my abilities....they do me proud! I realize they no longer need me as much as they once did....matter of fact, the tables have turned somewhere along the way, it I who needs them more! What I try to do is call them....yes, usually they're pretty busy with their own day to day life happenings....but it helps even if it's only for 5 minutes that I get to share in their lives and hear their voices.....I don't call like every day (they'd just kill me) but I do call at least every other week or so.....and I've noticed my daughter likes to call me! As far as my grand daughter....I see pictures for now and I send her little packages for any holiday I can come up with an excuse to buy stuff for!!! So, I am sorry, but I have no words of comfort for you....instead I'll just cry WITH you. Hang in there, Anita. I'm hoping it gets better as time goes on.

Lisa - posted on 03/06/2010

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My daughter is in the Army and now lives in Seattle. I am in Florida. I miss her so much as we are very close. We talk on the phone and visit when we can. My son lives here in the same town so that helps. Sometimes my daughter and I will talk on the phone for hours at a time while going about our daily things and it feels like we are "together" or at least not so far apart. I am proud of what all my daughter has accomplished and overcome. I realize it is her time to live her life now. I respect her decisions. We all have to live our lives in the ways we feel is right and we should do so without guilt.

Karen - posted on 03/06/2010

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Hi Anita,
My name is Karen and I live in WI. I have three kids, my daughter (has 2 children) llives in WI about 3 hrs. away. My son Kevin ( has 2 children) lives in PA. And my son Brandon, 17 yrs. old lives with me. I don't ever see my son Kevin and his children because of how far away they are and it really tears me up sometimes. Although we talk on the phone & share pics, it's just not the same as being with them in person. His children don't know me at all and that hurts alot. I don't have any words of wisdom to offer you, but I'm hear to listen if you just want someone to talk to. My e-mail is kgrovogel@gmail.com. Hope to hear from you.

Becky - posted on 03/06/2010

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We as moms spend the first 18 years of our children's lives teaching and protecting them, of course it is hard as heck when we have to turn that off. I have had three of my "adult"children move out this year. I had to make a choice for my future,moving into a new state. Man was it hard to feel like I was walking away them. But then I realized that they would do it in a heartbeat! And it is now my time to find what I need. I am still their mom and love them,maybe more now that they are far?! So I call or text offen, I try to stay as involved in their activities. At the same time filling my needs and making sure my progress is going inthe direction I would like it to.
It has been the hardest thing ever to stop being a full time mom. Have grown up kids is a new and exciting time with tears from mom!

Rose - posted on 03/06/2010

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If your children are wise, they realize that the kids are missing out on being with you also. I have unlimited long-distance, and my daughter can call her anytime she wants. I am THRILLED that she wants to talk to "Gramma" as much as possible. I'd like to be closer to my parents, but job reality interferes. Encourage letter writing!!

Noelle - posted on 03/06/2010

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Hi Anita, California.....Wow! That is far. I don't feel so bad now. My oldest son is away at school but he is only 5 hrs from me. I couldn't imagine him being any further but I do realize that after he graduates there is a possibility that could happen. I love my three sons very much and if I could have it my way, none of them would ever leave. Lol, but I do understand and I know it's hard to let go of our kids. Even more so when there is a grandchild involved. I can't wait to have grandbabies. The internet is great for long distance. You have webcam so you can see your loved ones all the time, really. Hope you have a Blessed and beautiful weekend.

Denise - posted on 03/06/2010

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You certinly have my heart!!! I am fortunate in that my kids are near and my grandchildren. I would be crushed if they were not and I am 55. Just a thought, if they have a computer and you also you might want to think about a WebCam for both. Then you could at least see them. Even you granddaughter! They can talk, show you new things or places.... walk you through the house or whatever they want. I know there are a lot of woman who cant wait till the kids are grown and out.... and then others who have there entire life around the kids and family - that would be me. Take care and if the opportunity presents itself, move back if you want. Let your heart guide you.

Barb - posted on 03/06/2010

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Dear Anita, I have a son who is in the Marine Corp. in San Diego Calif. and been there for 4 years now and is gonna have their 1st child. I go out there twice a yr. and now it's gonna be even more fun to see that little one. you just have to do what you can to see them and talk on the phone alot. But now it's your time to have fun and be on your own and explore different things that you never had a chance to do with kids on your side. I have one grand baby who lives with me too and i love it. so i have a little of both worlds. Good luck with you and your family

Annette - posted on 03/05/2010

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I don't like having mine too far away, but there's not a lot I can do if they choose to move away.

Cindy - posted on 03/05/2010

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I have 4 grown children and 5 grandchildren and all but 1 live away from us and personally I hate it. I love my kids and grandkids so much. We talk on the phone alot and cherish the times we do see each other. One thing you might think about getting is SKYP. not sure I spelled that right, but I used it for the first time a couple weeks ago and it is awesome. You can see what they are doing and what they look like. It isn't the same as being in the same room but at least you can see each other. And it is free.

Give it a try!!! Won't hurt. You will need a little camera and microphone I think. I used it at my sister's house to talk to my niece and nephew in England and I am in Montana. It was so cool. Maybe check it out.

Dana - posted on 03/05/2010

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Debbie I am sorry. That must be hard. I have a grown child in another state who cannot find time to see or call me. I have really been struggling with that this past week. Thanks for the encouragement everyone. It has been very timely and helpful.

[deleted account]

I know where you are coming from.My one son lives in california my other son in new york. I made the my choice to move to canada . I miss my grandchildren. I don't even get to talk to them. i was given a phone number but they never answer. I pray everyday my grandchildren do not forget me,a part of me feels quilty but for me ,my health is better and my mind is clear and i am happy . If you are able talk to your children once twice a month. i hope this helps.

Carol - posted on 03/04/2010

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Hi Anita,

I completely know how you feel, actually it is a current situation for me as well. While I am not as far away from my new*and first Granddaughter Peyton , We Live in Diamond Bar and my daughter lives in San Diego. I ask her send me pictures everyday through email.. And now there is a huge chance they are moving to Washington... For what it is worth, I don't think you should feel guilty, we need to live our lives just as our kids leads thiers. I have a community called Budgeted Travel, I will be sharing about muti generational traveling and how affordable it can be to get the family together for a vacation... Smile Carol

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