What is the best aproach on breaking the news of divorce to a 7year old child?
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
i would explain that there are many different types of love. the love that you had for your former spouse changed into a friendly love instead of a romantic love. this will also give you the opportunity to tell him/her about parent/child love - and that it doesn't end for you or the dad, but always grows stronger-- this can be a scary time for a child (or adult) and anything you can say or do to make it easier will be better for him/her in the longrun.
i hope that you have a support system intact- friends, family, church, co-workers-- if not, we on circle of moms would be honored to help .... lesha
Becky - posted on 07/20/2009
If the child is aware of friction in your relationship let them know that mom and dad love them very much but they will no longer be living in the same house together but in seperate houses. Keep in mind the divorce is between the two adults and the child should not be used as a pawn and any negative remarks should not be made in front of the child about either parent. Reassure them that both parents will be a part of their life.
Janett - posted on 07/23/2009
I split from the father of my children when they were 6&8 I sat them down and told them that i love them and they needed to no that they deserve the best mom and the best dad ever and the only way they would have that was if the mom and dad split up so they could go on with life cause if mom and dad are never happy together knowone would be so it was best for everyone and all has been good they are now 14&16 and doing very well with life as they got older they figured it all out good luck
Susan - posted on 07/23/2009
When my ex and I decided that we would be getting separated and then divorced, we wanted to tell the kids together. Make sure they knew that mommy and daddy will always be there for them, but we would not be living together anymore. My son was around 8 or 9 years old and my daughter was 4 or 5 (she wasn't in school yet). We took the kids to a local park. We had a picnic. Let me explain that my son was borderline ADHD and if we were at home he would run into his room and close the door, so public place with lots of room.....After the picnic, we sat the kids down and explained what was going on but that we would always be their parents. My son did get upset and took off running to the slide. He couldn't run "away" from us. But after the separation had started and my son and daughter was "used to it", my son said that at least we didn't fight anymore. I never thought he heard us.
Now my kids are grown (ages: 25 & 21) and I remarried 10 years ago. They have both grown into young adults that I'm very proud of. Its the way you handle it. And as long as your husband and you remember to put the kids first. My ex would come over near the beginning, because my daughter wanted daddy to read to her. Thing like that helped them to know daddy was around.
Good luck and God Bless
Rose - posted on 07/22/2009
Since it appears that the divorce is not final, I urge you to look at the movie "Fireproof", before taking this step. You have to make sure you are at peace, before you can make sure your daughter will be at peace. You can get the movie from Blockbuster.
Carol - posted on 07/21/2009
There is one other thing I forgot that helped me and that is friends good life long friends. At times they were better then family Family seems to want to take sides are fight your battles friends just listen, let you cry and pick you up when you feel you want to give up... You will cry then get angy , then the fog clears and you stand up and move forwards.. let the emotions come and lean on your friends the ones here and the ones around you... Hang tough and stand strong..
Carol - posted on 07/21/2009
Wow been there I had a 15yr old daughter 10 and 7 yr old sons. We sat them down and my husband wouldn't say a word I held the boys on my lap and explained everything to them that I felt they needed to know.. That we whe are not in love with eachother anymore and that we felt it would be better that we lived apart. That we will still be a family and will still be a family just in two different homes.. I had spoken to my duaghter earlier in that day sence she was able to understand alot more.. We tried to keep things as normal for the kids as possible.. Not change there routine. We actualy made it that we would stay in the same community together until the kids graduate school. It wasn't there fault so we felt they didn't need to suffer anymore they they would. Its been over 8yrs and they are doing great all three I am remarried with a one year old baby girl life moves on and things do get better be strong and honest.
Cindy - posted on 07/20/2009
I agree. I also believe that you should not question the child about what the other parent is doing. I know of couples who used their child as a spy when they were with the other parent and I believe this is so wrong. Continue to love the child and not only tsll them but show them as well and respect their hurts and honestly answer their questions. They might not seem important to you but to them they are very important.
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