What role do I play in my son's wedding?

Sue - posted on 06/09/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )

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He is the youngest of five, and marrying after knowing her for five yrs. They were planning on getting married in Oct. but moved it up so she could take a job in China. We aren't really thrilled about them moving to China because our son will be giving up a lot to go there; a good job and he is attending college for an engineering degree. He seems to be willing to give up a lot of himself to be married to her. But what roll does the mom of the groom play in the wedding, just show up?

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Linda - posted on 04/07/2014

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If I were you I wouldn't go to the wedding. they'll probably sit you next to the restroom and exclude you from all the photos...

Patricia - posted on 02/21/2013

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I think you should ask your Son and future Daughter in law what they want you to do.

Regina - posted on 06/19/2010

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There comes a time that we have to let them go, no matter how tough it is. There are many time in their lives that this is hard, but we have to and trust that they will learn from all the successes and failures that they have.

Quilty - posted on 06/12/2010

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My mom's best friend had seven sons (all grown now). She always joked that the mother of the groom's job was to host the rehearsal dinner, and wear beige to the wedding. :)

Joann - posted on 06/12/2010

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the mom should have an active roll like one of your other sons walk you down on announcement /a speach at rehearsal dinner /and lighting candles in ceremony something like these things to be important after you made him your also giving someone away to br taken good care of by someone else also mother son dance

Elizabeth - posted on 06/11/2010

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Ah, our friend from England just reminded me, we are also in charge of the rehearsal dinner. We get to choose the restaurant or whether you want it catered at your home. That is up to you!

Elizabeth - posted on 06/11/2010

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First of all you raised your son well! I applaud you, why, well he is acting in a selfless manner towards his future wife. He is putting her welfare before his. He didn't just aquire that, it was instilled in him. Unconditional, selfless love is not easy, you should be proud, indeed.
To your question - I have 3 boys, two of them married. I have a wonderful relationship with my daughter-in-laws and this is the time in their life that they share with their mothers. They did invite me on dress shopping sprees and other things. My roll was to dance with my sons to the songs of their choosing (great choices, I cried); it is also the grooms parents that buys the flowers, and pays for the alcohol. I do believe you pay for her bouquet and the buttonaires for the guys. You can check the ettiquette guides. I know this is a hard one, but our roles in our sons life ends right there. Not to say that we shouldn't be there for them whenever they need us, but we can't be a cog in a wheel that doesn't belong. My daughter was different, we did it all together. But, like my sons, my roll as mommy ended when she became a wife. Now that she is a mom, we are much closer!

Louise - posted on 06/09/2010

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I don't know where you are in the world. In England we do not have rehearsal dinners we just have the big day. Just ask your son if there is anything you can do to help and if he says no then just turn up and enjoy the day. Remember to smile all day long and then let your hair down on the dance floor. It is tradition for the brides family to pay for the wedding but the evening do is usually paid for by the grooms parents. DJ and food. Just relax and think at least I didn't get the big bill to go with it!

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The groom's parents traditionally plan the rehearsal dinner. You can also offer to assist in the costs of the wedding if you'd like (although it's not necessary). My mother in law called me and said that she wanted to do something to help and offered her talents in making flower arrangements for the reception. She bought all the flowers and did a great job. It saved me money since I only had to order flowers for the church.

Joy - posted on 06/09/2010

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From what I understand, you provide the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. After that I would just ask the bride if she needs any help. And then yes you just show up and get walked down the isle.

Adriane - posted on 06/09/2010

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traditionally the grooms family would handle the rehearsal dinner and any roles the bride and her family ask for assistance with.

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