When is it too old to have another baby?

Teresa - posted on 07/06/2011

I believe that if the Good Lord allowed yu to be pregnant at any age; then you're never to old!!! Remember the story in the bible about the 60 yr old who conceived after not being able to get pregnant!!!!

Teresa - posted on 07/03/2011

I am 45 and having number 6 in December.

Dev - posted on 07/01/2011

It's a miracle! Congrats Jayne and you do have more patience and they do keep you young! And you do have more time to appreciate them it seems. They are so special--especially spaced like that! I personally enjoyed those spaces.

Jayne - posted on 06/30/2011

i am 42 next month and have just had my 3rd baby after a gap of 14 years i had the best pregnancy ever, no morning sickness backache etc, labour was a bit daunting but wouldn't have missed it for the world, i think you appreciate children more as you are older as you realise what to prioritise and can enjoy them alot more.

Dev - posted on 06/29/2011

No one knows what their future holds, but if you are healthy at the time of pregnancy it is very rewarding. Be ready at the stores for people to constantly remind you that the child is your grandchild. And be ready to not feel like a grandmother when the grandkids come along. That is what has happened to us. We had 8 children down thru the years, and our last 3 were in our 40's; so, when the grandkids did come along, we had babies still crawling around amongst the grandkids. It was also very hard hormonaly to live thru a pregnancy that late. You don't know if you're having hot flashes from the pregnancy or from change of life. You are soooo very tired, and emotional all together. You take at least a year to feel like yourself, yet every month of that year you are feeling better. But each new month, you think, wow, I wasn't as good as I thought. Then when they hit your teens, as my husband an I are now 59 years old, our youngest is turning 15, 16, and one is turning 20. We feel tired mentally, and physically. It's hard for us as we are constantly cleaning up after them, they are still too young to care about their laundry. It does seem a lot selfish of me to mention that, but at 59, I feel like I should be thinking more of myself--don't you think. This is the age when we start having physical ailments, stiff joints, etc. When we should be spending our weekends doing neat things together, my husband and I are spending our time cleaning instead of traveling, or preparing for retirement. We have had a bad time with the economy and aren't prepared for that time in our lives. Not many people are. But this is just a thought about late babies.

Effie - posted on 10/11/2009

I am 49 and would try agin if my husband were on board with the idea! If it is not meant to be, then god will not make it happen. I think all ababies are miracles whenever they happen.

Sandi - posted on 10/10/2009

Beth - Heather is obviously the out of tune voice in the chorus - the reason they say women over 35 are high risk is this - they had to draw the line SOMEwhere, and that's just where it hit. I know more women who had problem pregnancies and issues when they were younger than when they were older. I have had miscarriages, and I had a stillbirth - none of which were a result of my age (I'm 42 by the way, and have a 1 year old). If I had a choice I would have another! Babies keep you young! And I have a whole lot more patience now than I EVER would have had when I was in my 20's. As for living long enough to see the kids grow up - hello Heather? Do you watch the news? More people die of car accidents and stupidity than die of old age. And more fetal issues are cause by mothers who won't quit partying, smoking, drinking, and drug use because they are young and want to "live" than are caused by a mother's age. When I had my last child, I did go to a high risk doctor because of my age, because of my previous miscarriages, and because of a medical condition. I saw more teenagers and 20ish girls in there than I saw mothers of Advanced Maternal Age (AMA - that's how it was on all my paperwork, lol!!). If you get pregnant, you're not too old. Look at Sarah in the bible - she was a WHOLE heck of a lot older than us!!

Susie - posted on 10/09/2009

Beth,
I have 10 and last one at 43 she is 16mnth now and she has helped me get back in shape.. I remember my grandmother telling me to live life and not plan to be dead too soon. She was afraid to have babies had two and lost one and then said no more thought she was too old and then 20 years later when she was 60 her husband died and a couple years later her only daughter died... my dad her only son spent most of the next 23 years away in the Navy. We... grandchildren were her lifeline. She didn't remarry figured she would die soon. At her 100 hundredth birthday she still had her own teeth and walked everyday... she said, if only I had known I would be healthy to 100 I would have remarried 40 long lonely years. Don't live in the what ifs... live with a passion and embrace what you can. If you can have another baby and your husband is open... do for it.

Beth - posted on 10/09/2009

Heather-

Do you have children? Have you ever worked with children with diabilities? DO you know what causes a lot of them? Do you know anyone who does? I have to say I was a little taken back by your comments. I feel that alcohol and drugs cause more disabilities then due age. I have done research and I have spoken in great depths with my doctor. I am well aware of the issues and concerns with a pregnancy later in life. I'll I ask is for you to comment on my questions and be a little more sensitive to a woman that has a 10 year old and does not want that child to be an only child. I had my son out of wedlock and never lived with his father. It was a mess up with birth control pills. He is a true blesssing. I am not sure if you ever have enough energy for a baby. I drove all the way back from South Carolina to Ohio with contractions and I still don't think I caught up on my sleep. My family means everything to me. My son wants a brother or a sister and my husband wants a healthy child ---- DON"T WE ALL!!!! God has in mind for us is what we will have to accept. We are trying and I am unable at this point to conceive. I cry about and I really asked this questions for a support system for me not to be put through the mill as if I am not RESPONSIBLE!!! Thank you for posting, but please keep in mind people who may have a hard time or is having a hard time. I don't want my child to be an only child--- My husband (my son's father) and I married last year Oct. 25 2008 and since we have been trying for another baby. Please say prayers for us. We are good healthy and fun loving people.

Beth - posted on 10/09/2009

Quoting Heather:

I just hope you all live long enough to see your child through to see them grow up, get married and have grandkids it would be ashame to miss out and a heartbreak for the kid to lose you before those milestones so look after yourselfs so you will live beyond 60 please Godwilling no mother passes away before our older ages. But no doubt they are a joy and would never be regretted by I will always hold the opinion that its best to have them before your 40, I hope no one has a disabled child either as its horrible to see other folk have to deal with that for the rest of their life when they should be retiring and have all that behind them and enjoying the grandkids, everyone will have different opinions but of course the older ones will agree witht he other older ones that want to or have done the same thing. Good luck for you all that chose that way I pray for lots of health and energy for the next 18yrs at least to see the child through school until they can fend for themself.

WE CAN BE CLUCKY TILL THE DAY WE DIE BUT WE HAVE TO STOP SOONER OR LATER, GOD GAVE US COMMON SENSE AND IF YOU LISTEN TO DOCTORS WHY DO THEY CLASS IT HIGH RISK PREGNANCY OVER 40! Personally I could easily of had another as I was clucky after 40 and would stretch the age up to 45 if I didn't already have four and it was my first time then you get all those second marriages wanting more kids or career women starting late well thats another story again..............
Remember you may be fit and fine now to have that baby but you have to be fit and fine for the next 18yrs when your alot older....

I'd like to hear from BETH BROOKER who asked this question.............

Mary - posted on 10/09/2009

i stopped at 24 yrs old

Louise - posted on 10/08/2009

I am 40 and have 2 beautiful children which I had at 33 and 34. We have been trying for 3 years , since I was 36, to have another child and 4 miscarriages later I was wondering the same thing. I think it is a very personal thing and if you are healthy and feel that it is what you want in your heart, why not. It does not matter what other people say as they are not you. I think if there are women having babies in thier forties and it is what they want then who cares?

Gillian - posted on 10/08/2009

I married at 39, had my first at 41 and my second at 43. With todays medical advances unless you are really too ill to have one then go for it. And yes there is a stronger possibility of down syndrome. And yes my oldest has down syndrome but would I change Rachel for another child just cos she has down syndrome, - not for all the tea in China or all the gold in Fort Knox!!! Did I have any tests for down syndrome with either baby NO. Having reared her for 10 years would I go back and do it again you bet u I would and I still wouldnt be having any tests. Children arent born with deformities or retarded they are born with differences. If you are lucky enough to have a baby with down syndrome then you know that god has blessed you.

Lenajeannette - posted on 10/08/2009

What is your energy like now. REALLY. Don't just miss the romantic part of having a baby. Remember the involvement in raising a child to adulthood that will be able to contribute to this world positively. And I mean living. (Not being rich or famous) Just being success with life itself.

Katherine - posted on 10/07/2009

Quoting Brenda:

After menopause. That is God's way of saying we are too old :)

Amen, Sister!

Katherine - posted on 10/07/2009

If your body makes a baby, then it's not too old! Rejoice! You're young! And healthy! And you still have a sex life. Hurray!!!



I remember being 40 and pregnant...and a little annoyed with myself....but that baby has been the joy of our lives. WHAT was I thinking??? And of course there are all the new, younger, mom-friends I made through my daughter who have been blessings as well.



Take care!!

Janet - posted on 10/07/2009

your never too old to have a baby if your still fit and healthy and can still laugh at things.

Becky - posted on 10/07/2009

I read most of the responses before I answer this question. It is a highly personal question that I would think that is different for every woman. I always dreamed of getting married, but I never dreamed of having children. I would have thought that I would have been ok with the idea of not ever having children, but I was blessed with two beautiful children. One child I had as a teenager and one later in my early twenties, both had severe health issues. My husband and I decided not to have more children at 23 and I did regret that decision in my 30's. But to be honest, I think age is just one factor. Even,If you are in your 60's with enough money, time, great health, a sense of humor, and family support you could raise a baby. My grandmother is 93 and the doctor just told her she looks like she is 72 and has the body of a 72 year old. We kids were raised with the idea you can accomplish anything regardless of age. Now, I would say that 93 is too old to have kids, but that is just because I think the baby would interfere with grandma's schedule. I am not sure the baby could keep up with grandma. I barely can:)

Linda - posted on 10/07/2009

I had my first daughter at 22 and she has just turned 21. I had my next daughter just shy of my 42nd birthday and she is now 16 months. While i loved being a mum 20 years ago it was always hard to juggle time as mum and time at work. This time around we are so much more relaxed. Still busy but those financial strains are not the same and I guess I find I really just appreciate my baby so much more. Perhaps that is just an experience thing. She has brought a huge amount of pleasure - and a few more aches and pains than last time. So greatful for the chance to be a mum again and to have a happy healthy baby. My family has a history of babies in their 40's and all have been healthy babies. I say if it is important to you and if you are in good health and have a supportive man then go for it.

Julie - posted on 10/06/2009

I had my last baby (#10) at almost 44. I say "Go for it" and have as many children as God gives you and you have the health to raise. My Grandmother was also 44 when she had her last one, (#14).

Mary - posted on 10/06/2009

Lisa, you are so encouraging!!! That makes me feel so much better!

Lisa - posted on 10/06/2009

I am 44 with a 3yr old and a 17 mth old and I wouldn't change a thing. I do have other children 28 25 20 16 and they love my babies to pieces. So I say if this is what you want go for it. God Bless and good luck

Maj-Lis - posted on 10/06/2009

I had my babygirl when I was neraly 41.I had my first child when I was 26 and he´s 15 now!Big agedifference but they love each others!My boyfriend want´s to have another baby,but I´m not sure..Om 42 now and sometimes I feel that I´m too old...But who knows,after redading all the messages here I belive it´s never too late!

Tracy - posted on 10/06/2009

I am 41. Will be 42 this December. I want another one. My son is 3. I have been trying for a few months. I do feel somewhat to old, but I felt that way at 38 having my first child. I feel the cut off should be 45. My reason for that is longevity and being here to see them become productive adults. I realize there are no guarantees in life and people die at all ages.

Angela - posted on 10/06/2009

I do not think there is a cut off. Just keep having them as long as your health is great and your energy is up. I would love to have another and I am getting up in the years. I say if you are ready for one you should have another baby.

Heather - posted on 10/05/2009

I just hope you all live long enough to see your child through to see them grow up, get married and have grandkids it would be ashame to miss out and a heartbreak for the kid to lose you before those milestones so look after yourselfs so you will live beyond 60 please Godwilling no mother passes away before our older ages. But no doubt they are a joy and would never be regretted by I will always hold the opinion that its best to have them before your 40, I hope no one has a disabled child either as its horrible to see other folk have to deal with that for the rest of their life when they should be retiring and have all that behind them and enjoying the grandkids, everyone will have different opinions but of course the older ones will agree witht he other older ones that want to or have done the same thing. Good luck for you all that chose that way I pray for lots of health and energy for the next 18yrs at least to see the child through school until they can fend for themself.



WE CAN BE CLUCKY TILL THE DAY WE DIE BUT WE HAVE TO STOP SOONER OR LATER, GOD GAVE US COMMON SENSE AND IF YOU LISTEN TO DOCTORS WHY DO THEY CLASS IT HIGH RISK PREGNANCY OVER 40! Personally I could easily of had another as I was clucky after 40 and would stretch the age up to 45 if I didn't already have four and it was my first time then you get all those second marriages wanting more kids or career women starting late well thats another story again..............

Remember you may be fit and fine now to have that baby but you have to be fit and fine for the next 18yrs when your alot older....



I'd like to hear from BETH BROOKER who asked this question.............

Diana - posted on 10/05/2009

I had my last one at 43 and she is a blessing I think if you feel healthy and able to deal with the toddler years, because trust me is not the same and is not the same on your body, but I would not change it for the world.

Crystal - posted on 10/05/2009

I feel it is up to the person and what your body is telling you! I will be 41 in Nov and I'm still thinking about it. Live life to the fullest and if you want a child and feel you can handle it, than go for it. You only live once.

Mary - posted on 10/05/2009

Brenda, you are a true gem! I know some very young moms who would be SO blessed to get to know you! Thank you so much for sharing your story. Have you had a chance to share how you did it with any of today's teen mothers? They would benefit so much from your approach to motherhood and relationships. I am so blessed by your sharing.

Brenda Lyn - posted on 10/05/2009

Mary, your reply to Heather was kind and informative. I was barely nineteen when I got married after 1 1/2 yrs of college, and thought I would prepare to return to college to get my degree before starting a family. Nine months, 2 weeks later I bore my first child. I eventually had a total of 4 children within 5 years, 3 of them on good contraceptives, 1 of which was a twin of a fetus I lost inutero. I never did have that chance to return to complete my degree. Prior to marriage, any boy I dated I made sure understood that IF we were to become a couple who would eventually marry, that once kids started popping into our life that I would quit work or school and stay at home to raise ALL the children. A huge home with 2 new cars in the driveway was not a necessity. All I required was that my husband do what he can to gain an education, provide us with life essentials, a modest home, and I had fun providing our decor from skill, talent, and imagination. i did sales from out of our home (Avon, etc.) and I also did childcare to provide money for family, and more kids to play with for my children. Becoming an unplanned mother as young as I was was a sacrifice worth taking!! I was able to love them and teach them as much as I could with quality and quantity time and with the energy and drive of a young mother. Fortunately I was able to have them WHEN I did because I lost my uterus at age 27. I have beautiful, intelligent, kind and loving "successful" children who grew up wonderfully and fairly stable. Yes there were challenges. But as a family we were able to stand up together and gain strength to overcome these. I am currently the grandmother of 4 children and another one on the way! The pros of motherhood ALWAYS outweigh any negatives when attitudes are healthy, positive, and uplifting. The brain is a wonderful organ and can learn an awful lot even when college degrees are not financially or time feasible. My children are the BEST work of art I have ever helped to create. They are a blessing to me, and a light in my life. One is never too old to have children as long as they have an abundance of love, energy to interact with the child, patience and lots of time to spend with the child to give the child the quality and quantity of parenting that child deserves. Even ill health, or a disability is never a good reason to NOT have a child when the family and friend and church support group is strong and healthy and intact throughout the child's life.

Brenda Lyn - posted on 10/05/2009

Different views on this. 1) If you think you don't and won't have the patience, time, energy, and love - Don't have another child. 2) When you are actually into menopause and the doctor confirms that you have no more viable eggs 3) If you are willing to adopt or to have a child through another woman, ANY age would be acceptable as long as you are mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually and socially ready and capable of raising another child with the energy, time, patience and love every child deserves. Good luck!!! :)

Brenda - posted on 10/05/2009

After menopause. That is God's way of saying we are too old :)

Kimberly - posted on 10/04/2009

I am 49 and my youngest is 16 months. Do what you want and enjoy it! I have a little more aches and pains running around with her and lifting. On the other hand much more relaxed and enjoying her every little move.

Charlene - posted on 10/04/2009

When I was 40, I had a tube reversal done. I had a wonderful baby girl on Dec 07. I was 42 at the time. I also have older children and grandchildren.

We had several family members that were so against us having a baby. When she was born, wow, everyone has changed their minds.

She is so loved !!!

Good luck if you have any questions, just write to me..

Mary - posted on 10/04/2009

Heather...interesting comment. These days if you aren't in your early twenties or teens you look like a grandparent. People are having children younger and younger and younger. Children raising children. It is really sad. And then there is the fact that many times so many moms who are younger can't afford to be home with their kids or have to work long hours and their children don't get to spend much time with them. I am so glad that I didn't have the chance to get started till I married at 35 to my ex. And now I am even more relaxed and ready to handle the stress and to be there for my kids instead of still in the throws of being focused on a career. Some women don't have the chance earlier in life to get pregnant. When God give them the chance and if they are ready to focus on the well being of the child even if it is in their 40s what is the problem? So many women smoke and get pregnant too. That causes more deformities and problems than age does anymore. I believe that the key is having a supportive and involved father who is dedicated to being a teammate in raising the child with you. I understand your concern but each situation is different. Just be careful...kindness goes a long way in how you help people through your answers.

Heather - posted on 10/04/2009

Once your over 40 you have a higher risk of deformities and you get tired quicker and less energy, I'm 42 and have a 19, 16, 13, 8. I would of loved another but I need an afternoon cat nap these days, I don't have the energy to play as much and I don't think its fair on the kid to have a grandparent looking parent!! If your over 40 have them as quick as you can and get on with it, your not getting any younger!!!!!!!!!!!

Mary - posted on 10/03/2009

Donna, Thank you so much for sharing your story. You really help me to feel good about our decision. I will be about the same age you were when you had your daughter when we are looking at having another baby. We are leaving it completely up to God. What a blessing you are, Donna. God bless you! Mary

Donna - posted on 10/03/2009

Hi, I am 60 close to 61, I have a 16 year old daughter and she is the my special angel. I was 44 ......... 12 days after she was born. I had two boys when I was in my 20's and I have enjoyed my daughter oh so much more at my age than I did my boys in my 20's. She is truly wonderful and I feel blessed that I had her. Donna

Mary - posted on 10/03/2009

I am so glad you asked the question! I thought that I didn't want to go through it all again and am 42. I am being courted right now and won't be married for another year or so. We are both the same age...after prayer and discussion have decided that we want to try to have a baby after we get married...I am bringing an 18 month old and 6 year old boy to the future marriage and he is bringing a 14 year old daughter. I am very blessed that his mom is a retired neonatal nurse and would be thrilled to help me through the hard parts.

Edwina - posted on 10/03/2009

im nearly 48 and have a beautiful 6 month old baby girl, i feel more relaxed with her than i did when i had my 1st 3 who are now 26/25/ and 22, there was a 21 year age gap and we all love her to bits,have to say it helps that my husbands 20 years younger than me , hey how lucky am i , 2nd chance with lovely husband.x

Delma - posted on 10/03/2009

I had my daughter at 42 and it was not as easy as my son at 24 but as long as you are healthy and ready to start a family, age doesnt really matter.

Vivienne - posted on 10/03/2009

hi
I never had a baby and always thought I didnt want one but ended up pregnant at the age of 44 ,now 45 my beautiful healthy baby daughter is 8 months old I love her to pieces and im coping and managing fine so go for it

Lupe - posted on 10/03/2009

I think that as long as your in good health and and your doctor has given you the green light and has made you aware of any emergencies that could happen it is all up to you and your husband not on the age! We are all made different and our bodies always let us know when we can take the stress and pain and when we can't and truthfully in the bible back in the day woman at all ages even there 50's were having children this is a blessing from God and when you ask with a desired heart, and you leave it to him to get you through the growth and the delivery well what can I say, everything is possible.

Nikii - posted on 10/02/2009

I'm 40 now and have a 12mth old and my husband and I have been talking about having another one which won't be for a couple of years. As long as you feel you are able to cope with the sleepless nights and everything that goes with having a baby then it's an individual thing.