Worried about birth and pregnancy at 43

Laura - posted on 03/11/2010 ( 59 moms have responded )

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Hi mums, I have a 16mth old boy (Joshua) born November 08 - I was 41. I''ll be 43 in April and my husband's 43 in August. We're considering having another - he'd really love a girl, but I've got real concerns about the safety and risks of carrying full term as well as having a health baby at our age plus the whole 'stamina and energy' required. When we conceived with Joshua I had a relatively low risk of downs so I never went thru with the amnio (my doctor said the risk of miscarrying thru amnio outweighed the risk of downs) so we just hoped for the best - luckily he's fine. I'm healthy and so's my husband which played a big part. However I had an emergency caesar as Josh's heart rate dropped, then I burst a lood vessle and lost heaps of blood and had to have a transfusion. Josh was in special care for 9 days as he lost 12% of his body weight at birth, wasn't feeding, and swallowed alot of amniotic fluid whilst still inside me. I'm wondering if any mums conceived after 40, what they went thru, and can give me any advice. Time is running out I guess. Thanks so much. Laura

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Linda - posted on 10/19/2013

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Hi im 44 and just recently found out im pregnant it was planned does anyone have any advice , my Dr says it high risk is there any positive opions out there I would love to ehar from you thanks...linda

Lilly - posted on 11/14/2013

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Hi! Iam new. On this site, 20 weeks Preg. My blood results came back positive for DS right now iam very scared. But I hope everything will be fine.

Trena - posted on 10/24/2013

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Trena Redmon-

Hi I am new at this site and I have been reading a long on the "mums" post, but I don't see any responses to them...? I have 3 boys ages 22, 17, and 11. I am 42 years of age now and 6 weeks prego. Feeling a bit nervous. Having some implantation spotting for few days. Checked with my Ob and It's not unusual. Any comforting thoughts for me?

Mikaela - posted on 10/25/2013

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FYI. I was 43 when my 2nd child was born. Easy pregnancy. All tests were positive. 3 weeks early. Easy birth. 5 yrs later I have the most amazing sweet kid.

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Cyndi - posted on 08/20/2014

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Reading through these posts I am trying to be hopeful. I am 43 and 7 weeks pregnant. I'm terribly nervous as I've had 3 miscarriages in the last 13 months. I have no trouble conceiving, but it seems my eggs are too old. I have 4 children from my first marriage (18, 16, 13, 11), but this would be the first for my husband. I'm praying that this time the pregnancy will go well, but it's hard to have hope after miscarrying over and over. I'm looking for any advice on how to deal with the stress of just waiting.

MARYA - posted on 07/13/2014

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Hi ladies, i'm 42 and 15 weeks pregnant with my fifth child. I have two boys and two girls aged 19.18,17 and 9. I always thought that my family is completed, but i become pregnant, i even wanted to have an abortion but my motherly feelings didn't allow me. The doctors scaring me emphising on my age. Sometimes i get worried too, i didn't go for the test to know the risks of down syndrom, i'm leaving everything to god and pray for the best!
Maria

Christi - posted on 05/04/2014

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Hi Moms,
I am 42 and 29 weeks pregnant with our 3rd girl. The pregnancy has been perfect (well as perfect as any pregnancy can be I supposed). I had my other 2 girls about 7 years ago and this pregnancy is even better than before. I did have CVS at 10 weeks to put my mind at ease that all the chromosomes look good. If you have the resources (e.g. money, home space, time, etc.) and the desire from both parents, I say go for it. It's such a personal decision that only you and your husband can make. There are so many variables that come into play. I just got to the point after years of deliberating with myself and being so confused about what to do and decided to go off birth control. Even God couldn't give me a clear answer. Within a month, I was pregnant and am so glad that I trusted my maternal instinct. We are all over the moon that our baby girl is due in July. I finally got my answer. Good luck to all of you with this difficult decision and I pray that you get your answer too.

-Christi

Lilly - posted on 03/25/2014

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Hi ladies after 9 mnths my little girl was born. Thank you ladies for all your support and encouragement.

Loretta - posted on 11/16/2013

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I had my youngest at 42. She is beautiful and healthy and I had no complications--although I did have to have a planned C-section because of some tumors I'd had removed previously that left my uterus very thin. I would say that my energy was sure greater for parenting in my 20's with my first two than it is now in my 40's! But I am also working graveyard full time and was able to get very, very little sleep for the first 4 years! If I had been able to be at home, I think we would have had another child when I was 45. The risk of miscarriage and other complications is greater, of course, but people have done it. :)

Jeannette - posted on 11/11/2013

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I'm 43 and just learned that my IVF did not take. I miscarried twice at 39, once at 40, once at 41, and had an ectopic pregnancy (through IUI) at 42. I want to have me and my husband's biological baby, but I am not sure if I have any other options left. I am so devastated and don't know if I should give up and consider donor eggs.

Christi - posted on 10/24/2013

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The family size choice is such a personal one. I say talk to your husband, talk to your doctor (s), and really get in touch with what you want and what you think is best for your current situation. Every family is so unique so it's really a decision only you can make. Take your time with this difficult decision. You all are in my prayers. Take care of yourselves...you deserve it.

Hope - posted on 10/20/2013

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Hello ladies, it's really wonderful to be able to converse and express and ask questions on this site. My name is Hope, I am 42 with 7 children lol yes 7!!! Twin girls 20, grl 16, grl 14 from my 1st marriage. i remarried at 37. had my 1st boy at 38, then had another girl at almost 40. then had my 2nd boy at 41, with my last boy I was tested for downs and came back positive with low %.. did the amnio and came back negative. I thank God they are all healthy. my pregnancies were all pretty good. now I have a question, is there such a thing as being selfish to wanting to have another baby? My husband is 6 yrs younger than me. And I see that he wouldn't mind having another child. I'm almost 43 and healthy thank God. Yes tired at times but healthy. I really wouldn't mind having 1 more baby. I adore them. I really can't express as to what I feel towards these children. I can't seem to get enough. So, am I pushing my luck or am I really being selfish? Or is it ok?

Hope :)

Angel - posted on 08/05/2013

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Hi Laura,
I conceived and gave birth at 41 and 44. There is a scary list of pregnancy risk factors for women over 40, but I feel there's too much focus on the negatives. I did have gestational diabetes with both, but it was managed first with diet and then with insulin medication. I really didn't find it to be very daunting at all. Both of my kids were delivered by C-Section and I didn't have a problem with that either (except for the fact that they left one of the staples in!).
However, this is a very personal decision and everyone needs to weigh up the factors in their own unique situation. I'm impressed that you came back to tell us all about the autism, because I think it's going to help others with their choices.:)
As an advocate for moms over 40, I try to encourage women to step out of the fear and make balanced choices.
While it's one thing to feel concerned, its another to be downright scared about getting pregnant again after 40. Here's the take of an over-40 mom, who also mentors midwives and doulas : http://achildafter40.com/prenatal-care-f...
Good luck with your little boy!

Laura - posted on 01/15/2013

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Wow I'm blown away by the support and feedback! Thanks so much ladies. My post was Nov 2010. Boy I really let time slip, but at the time my body wasn't coping too well. Josh is now 4 yrs old. We decided not to go ahead with a second baby. If we were going to take the plunge we should have jumped right in but something kept me from going ahead. That something was that i knew there was something different about Josh from about 2 yrs on. Womens intuition...or maybe it's just the fact that we women know our kids be. Josh has autism. It's only mild, and he's at the 'high functioning' end of the spectrum. So whilst he's much easier to cope with than a severely autistic boy, and he has a gorgeous nature, I often wonder how much harder it would be with another little one in tow. Im greatfull for the support network we've built over these years to help us on the road ahead. By the way, im told there is no evidence my age had a bearing on this outcome,, so for all you ladies considering another one - go where your heart tells you. Best of luck! Laura

Jennifer - posted on 01/14/2013

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I got pregnant at 42 and gave birth at 43 after 3 miscarriages. She is now 1 yr old (& I'm now 44). I obsessed about a second child from the time she was a few weeks old! I had a very healthy pregnancy, but did need a c section due to her heart rate. I am struggling with the same issues it seems as many other moms here! Every month that goes by, I feel regret, but also relief, as the no sleep newborn stage was torture and I truly wonder how I could do it now with a toddler and I'm that much older...

Cheryl - posted on 01/12/2013

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I was 43 when I had my fifth child. There was 13 years between my fourth and fifth. My pregnancy was uneventful and I had a perfect little boy. It is twelve years later and I am thankful everyday that I had him!

Brendaq - posted on 01/08/2013

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I am dealing with a similar dilemma myself. I had my son last June at age 42. I had gestational hypertension and he, too, was delivered via c-section due to a dropping heart rate. It was a very scary experience! My son and I are both healthy, so I am very grateful. I also skipped the amnio due to a low risk for Down's. My husband is 9 years younger than me and was an only child himself. He REALLY wants another child. I do too, but worry about my blood pressure and the risks to me and the baby...and also the risk of Down's at my age. I know that if I do it, I'll need to conceive very soon and my son is not even 7 months old! I adore the little man and would LOVE another child, but am afraid that I won't have the stamina either. As it is, my back aches so much from carrying him and not being back in shape yet.

I'm not sure what advice I can give you, but I'm thinking I should count my blessings with the one healthy child I have. But, yet, I'm still nagged by this feeling that I could have one more. If I let fear stop me the first time, I would have never met my beautiful son.

I welcome your thoughts! Maybe we can figure this out and weigh all the options. A pro/con list and really thinking about why you want a second child is a good start. I'm doing that myself.

Good luck! Brenda

OLIVE - posted on 12/07/2012

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Thanks ladies for the great encouragement to not only Laura but to quite many of us 40 and above years. One thing I know is that children are blessings from the Lord. If you conceive at that late age, give thanks to God. Pray constantly for your self and get a good Gynecologist. Live one day at a time and Gradually God will see you through. I have two babies, 10 years and 7 years. I had a miscarriage at 6weeks. I am 43 and am going for it again. I am not about to believe the doctors' reports but the Lords report. The Bible says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Laura follow your heart go for it. Pick a leaf from all we've shared. I am encouraged ladies. Be blessed as you bring new life in the world.



Olive

OLIVE - posted on 12/07/2012

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Thanks ladies for the great encouragement to not only Laura but to quite many of us 40 and above years. One thing I know is that children are blessings from the Lord. If you conceive at that late age, give thanks to God. Pray constantly for your self and get a good Gynecologist. Live one day at a time and Gradually God will see you through. I have two babies, 10 years and 7 years. I had a miscarriage at 6weeks. I am 43 and am going for it again. I am not about to believe the doctors' reports but the Lords report. The Bible says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Laura follow your heart go for it. Pick a leaf from all we've shared. I am encouraged ladies. Be blessed as you bring new life in the world.



Olive

OLIVE - posted on 12/07/2012

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Thanks ladies for the great encouragement to not only Laura but to quite many of us 40 and above years. One thing I know is that children are blessings from the Lord. If you conceive at that late age, give thanks to God. Pray constantly for your self and get a good Gynecologist. Live one day at a time and Gradually God will see you through. I have two babies, 10 years and 7 years. I had a miscarriage at 6weeks. I am 43 and am going for it again. I am not about to believe the doctors' reports but the Lords report. The Bible says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Laura follow your heart go for it. Pick a leaf from all we've shared. I am encouraged ladies. Be blessed as you bring new life in the world.



Olive

Louise - posted on 11/14/2012

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This page is so encouraging. I am 43 yrs old and four months pregnant with a baby boy after having 6 miscarriages.

I have three other children, 24yr old, 19 yr old, and 7 yr old girls.

My NS has come back at high risk, 1:105 of DS and l am worried sick. Dr is trying to get me to have an amino but l am scared of miscarriage if nothing is wrong.

Jennifer - posted on 11/12/2012

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I had a healthy pregnancy at 41, and gave birth to a healthy baby boy. The only issue that I encountered was bleeding during the first trimester, which was due to a subchrionic tear. I was told that this occurs at random and most of the time, heals on its own. It did. I am also considering having another, and I share the same concerns.

Elaine - posted on 11/07/2012

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Had my first at 35, and my last (4th) at 47! Had a small issue with High Blood Pressure. My last child a little girl was born with Trisomy X, a third female chromosome, which just effected her speech development/delay. Otherwise she's fine, and there are many women with girls that have this genetic disorder, who grow up to live normal lives. I am on a website for moms and women regarding this.

No regrets!

Dina - posted on 11/05/2012

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I am 43 and had a miscarriage a year ago. It was the first time for me so my loss i felt it terribly. I HAVE ALREADY A MISSED PERIOD, but I am so afraid to use a pregnancy test cause It will be sad for me to come negative. I want so bad to have my baby. People always tells me that at my age is a risk but I want to to what is right. Instead, I read about symptoms of pregnancy. I should just do the test. It is great to read the comments about being pregnant at 43. It inspires and motivates me.

Cara - posted on 05/30/2012

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Hello. New to this website and forum. Long story longer... I turned 43 on Apr. 23, 2012 - Within the past 4 months I have had 3 failed IUIs. I was at the doctor today for an IVF consult, and will start all the testing tomorrow, start meds next cycle and if all goes well, have the IVF procedure in August. I'd LOVE to hear if anyone 40+ has had a successful IVF. Also wanted to mention that I had my first and only child when I was 39, 2 months shy of my 40th b-day and have had 2 miscarriages in the past 2 years. Just looking for some inspiration, please. Thanks!

Michelle - posted on 05/24/2012

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Laura - I am now 46. I had my youngest daughter at the age of 43:). I've been very blessed as my oldest daughter, (now 20, married and expecting) was 7 lbs 6oz, my son (now 18) was 9 lbs. 5 oz, and my youngest was only 7 lbs. (I also only gained a total of 36 lbs. with all 3 of them and aside from having epis with all 3, I had no other issues.

I can not tell you that there is no risk, you understand that there is. But, if I had to do it all over, WITH the current shots which are given for Downs and with both of us being healthy, I would do it again, and if we had another child with Downs, we'd graciously accept him/her. Maybe getting more opinions from other doctors/etc. could help you to decide. but, even so, the final decision is up to you and your hubby. Besides - EVEN a child with Downs is a BEAUTIFUL child!:) (speaking from 29 yrs. of experience working with disabled).:) Best of luck to you both :)

Louise - posted on 05/16/2012

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Laura I can relate to bringing up the kids on your own without any help because that is what I do. I was 21 when I had my first son and 24 with my second and my parents were middle aged and did not really want anything to do with babies! I then had a gap of 15 years and had my daughter at 38. I am now 42 and she keeps me fit! I have no family around me and my older son has left home for uni and my younger son works full time and is out socialising every night. So it is just me and my little one. Some days it is tiring as I am her only friend until play group starts so she wants to play all the time, board games, jigsaws, painting, cooking, dress up you name it I do it! Some days I am knackered, but she keeps me young. I look at all the other 42 year old women who are either back at work full time or ladies that lunch! I dont think I am missing out on anything. My daughter brings a smile to my face every day and I wouldn't be without her.

If having another baby is something you both want then go for it. Just bare in mind that you are at higher risk of twins as older ovaries can kick out more than one egg (I had a miscarriage before my daughter and that was triplets!!!) you are also higher risk of miscarriage and downs. Speak to a consultant before making a decision. Also I had a Nucleal scan at 12 weeks to test for downs it is non invasive and accurate without the risk of miscarriage. I had to pay for this privately but it was worth the money for my peace of mind.

Suzette - posted on 05/14/2012

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hi ladies i'v read most of your posts i am 39 yrs old i had a miscarriage at 6wks into the pregnancy. i want another chance of having a child but i am so scared because of all the talks about high risk pregnancy. and "Downs". i desperatley want a child but i am afraid because where i live the test are either not available or it is way too expensive i live in the caribbean trinidad to be exact. but the doctors are saying that i'm too mature to conceive. this breaks my heart but reading your posts have given me some strength, and i do have faith in god is just when i had the miscarriage i lost a bit of my faith.

Dena - posted on 04/03/2012

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I agree with so much being posted. You have to follow your heart. My aunt was 48 when she gave birth to a healthy baby boy and that was 30 years ago!!!! I was pregnant with identical twins when I was 26 and lost one of my babies at 29 weeks. My daughter was born with Cerebral Palsy. She is now 12. Four years later, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy who is now 8 years old. People have issues at age 18, 19 etc and issues later on. People give birth to healthy babies in the teens and twenties as well as in their 40's and even 50's. Every pregnancy and delivery is unique. You have to decide if this is what you want and if you are ready for another. I am going to be 40 in two weeks and I would have 2 or 3 more children if my husband would agree....WHICH HE DOESN"T! haha So, I can be happy with my two beautiful children that give me more joy than words can express or I can get a new husband....Hmmmmmm.....haha Just kidding! Children are blessings...period.....Follow your heart!

Rochelle - posted on 03/21/2010

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Not sure what happened to my first reply but I say go for it. I had my first and probably only child at 45 (conceived naturally). He was perfectly healthy and I had no complications except a little too much amniotic fluid. These thing that happened to you could have happened to someone younger and I don't think it was necessarily age related. Thankfully your little one and you are fine now.

Rochelle - posted on 03/21/2010

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I had my and probably only son at 45 and her was perfectly healthy and I had no complications except for a bit too much amniotic fluid. Doctors love to scare women over 40 with all of the risk and such when women have been having babies at all phases of childbearing years for millenia. . Yes, the risk may be higher but you still stand a greater chance of having a healthy baby than not so go for it.

Jodell - posted on 03/21/2010

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how old were you when you were fist found out you were pregnant with Joshua? I am 41 and would love a brother or sister for my 2 year old. I have had 2 miscarriages since! The first one was not so hard. the 2nd one has been terrible to say the least. I was 39 when a first had Alexis. She has been a blessing to my family.

Jodell - posted on 03/21/2010

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I had a 5lb baby girl at almost 39 and it was my first. I had pitocin cuz they were so worried about her. She came fast and is now doing very well.

Kate - posted on 03/21/2010

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My husband and l have no help. The last time he and l were without the kids was last October for a couple of hours. When l need time to get away, l just go and let the kids with him. l'm lucky that he is able to handle a 2 year old and 7 month old twins, especially since l am a stay at home mom.
Most of the time we don't feel like a 'couple'. but we know it will get easier as the kids get older.

Donna - posted on 03/19/2010

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I had my first baby at 40 and my second at 43! Both babies were conceived naturally (the first was a surprise and the second was planned) I was lucky to have had two great pregnancies and have two happy and healthy baby boys! With both boys I only had the 1st trimester screen and since my risk for a baby with downs was low I never had an amnio. I will be 44 next month and a little part of me is considering trying for number 3!

Good luck in whatever you decide.

April - posted on 03/19/2010

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It is riskier when you are older. If you are healthy, that is the key to having a healthy baby when you are older. It hurts more. I had my last at age 38. I have known healthy moms and babies born after the mom was 55. If the babies are meant to be and are loved, they come.

Merri - posted on 03/19/2010

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HI Laura, did you know that there is now a test that they will do to see if you need to have an Amnio?? I had my first boy in 2004. By the time I conceived my second child in 2006 (at 39) they offered me this non invasive test based on age, blood count or blood pressure and the ultrasound taken at 19 weeks. From memory the perfect score was 1400 and I got 1396 which meant I was fine and didn't need an amnio. What a relief! maybe you could ask if that's on offer in Geelong.
Also all our family are on the East coast, we moved to Perth when we got married 7 years ago so we had no-one here but made some friends in the street who are good babysitters. My advice on this is when people offer to help out (when you've had a second bub) accept it. People don't offer this half-heartedly and would genuinely love to lend a hand - even if it's half an hour while you nick down to the shops, or have a cuppa without having to watch the littlies every minute. It's a win-win situation. Enjoy the hospitality.

Teresa - posted on 03/18/2010

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i was 43 when my son was born he was a healthy baby weighed 7 pounds 1 ounce. go for it

Phyllis - posted on 03/18/2010

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Hi Laura, I was 40 years old when I had my son. I was watched closely and everything was fine. I had to have cesarean also and got an infection but for the most part everything was good. Look for a doctor you completely trust and follow your heart. Good luck.

Tracy - posted on 03/18/2010

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I say go for it and get pregnant at 43! I am 39 and TTC our last, I have a 23 and 21 year olds and between them they have 3 children. Then my husband decided we needed to have babies together and we had a Tubal reversal, we now have 2 boys 4 and 2. We have been TTC for awhile and have had 8 miscarriages, but we will keep TTC. We have so many people that call us crazy, not to mention the grandparents that are no support. So I say if you want more babies do it, do it for you and your spouse no one else. Good Luck and sending you BABY DUST...

Patty - posted on 03/18/2010

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Hi Laura, I am the proud Mother of a 34yr old son, a 25 yr old son, 5 grandsons and 1 grandaughter and a Beatiful 3 yr old daughter I am going to be 48 yrs old in may. I was concidered a high risk preg. I delivered a 8 lbs 4 oz 21/3 inches little girl. Not in my wildest dream did I think I would a have another child. But I loved being preg. I went threw the screening for all the conditions that could happen. My numbers came back asif I was a women in my earlie 30's. pray and have faith the the dear lord will protect the child. I wouldnt worrie about having another baby. spend the time with your child. God would not of blessed you with a child take care and good luck.

Patty

Nikki - posted on 03/17/2010

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Laura , I would say to pray about your decision to get pregnant at 43 :) I was 38 when I had my third child and he was ten weeks early and stayed in NICU for 3 months. He is fine today thank GOd :) But I figured I would give you the advice someone gave to me when I was pregnant with my second child. I had a four year old at the time and I was told "It's far more overwhelming to go from one child to two than it is to go from none to one !!" I did agree once I had my second child. If you do not have much help close by it is definately a challenge but it's worth it :) IF you really want another one . I waited sixteen years to have my third child (accident though) !! Thought I might could help you with that concern .. Good luck to you and God Bless :)

Cheryl - posted on 03/17/2010

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From your FB photo, you look really young for your age. I think that your health and what kind of shape you are in is much more important than your age. Every pregnancy and delivery is different so you shouldn't let the past cause you fear for the future. Follow your heart and do what you feel is right. If you and your husband both have the love, time, energy and money to bring another life into this world, then go for it! If you are hesitating because you aren't sure you really want another child, then figure that out first. But I don't think you should let your age stop you! I'm 41 and considering getting pregnant. We have a three year old and she is wonderful. I love that we took the time for ourselves when we were younger so that we can now fully enjoy spending all our time and energy on our baby. Being an older parent is great and don't let anyone out there make you feel differently! Good luck!

Sharon - posted on 03/17/2010

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Hi Laura-

I gave birth to my son 5 days before I turned 42 years old. I had my daughter when I was 38, and my later pregnancy was actually much healthier. My Ob/Gyn had told me the two biggest problems in trying to have a child over age 40 are 1. getting pregnant and 2. miscarriage. There are slightly increased risks of preeclampsia and gestational diabetes, and of course there's the increased risk of the baby having Down's, but I've always thought those statistics were misleading. Pregnancy at 43 means your chance of having a Down's syndrome child is 1 in 53. That number means that for every Down's Syndrome baby born to a woman that age, 52 babies do not have Down's! Sort of a glass half-empty statistic if you ask me.

As far as stamina, yes I agree it's tougher as you get older, but I think a lot of it depends on the child and the state of your own health. My older child was a horrible sleeper and had colic, whereas my younger was easy to soothe and had a more predictable schedule, so I felt much better with him! I also believe once your body has gone through with a pregnancy and childbirth, it has some "wisdom". I know many Moms, myself included, whose subsequent pregnancies and births were easier than their first.

Best of luck to you!

Veronica - posted on 03/17/2010

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I beleive it depends on your health and your doctor advice, and your faith in God. Faith is the key to everything we say and do. So listen to your Doctor but especially your health when considering getting pregnant at 43. There are many womens having babies older than you with only slight health issues, of course the doctors will say your high risk because your older than 30, so just give it some thought in prayer with your husband.

Sharon - posted on 03/17/2010

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I conceived at 44. I had a healthy boy. I also have children 20,23,25,& 28. I say if you want it go for it!!

Christine - posted on 03/16/2010

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Hi, I had my first daughter at 41 (well it was 2 weeks before my 42nd birthday) and then my second daughter at age 43. My first labor was a nightmare and my daughter had some complications and had to be in a humidcrib for a while. Anyway, all good now and healthy. I was the same as you and we decided we would try again for a sibling for our child and I fell pregnant within a month. I cried for a week as I was genuinely frightened of what was to come. However, I had a great pregnancy and my birth was so much easier and no complications. I think once your body has gone through labor it now knows what to do. Other older mums I spoke to all said the same thing. Good Luck with pregnancy at 43 and just have faith in your body. It is amazing what it can do.

Anita - posted on 03/15/2010

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Hi Laura,

My mom lives two blocks away from me but I only ask her to watch my girls once in a great while becuz of her age of 73. I too took my baby every where with me. My husband and I hardly had any time alone together because we didn't have a babysitter. Now that we have another age 2....I found it necesary to find a babysitter. My advise to you is to call your local colleges and post a job listing for a nursing student or child development student who is willing to babysit for you. I have two great babysitters now that I call up when my husband and I need a date night or if I need to go get my hair done or I have a doctors appt. Don't wait until you have a second one to do this. Do it now!!! So you can have options on who to call when you need someone. Good luck .

Laura - posted on 03/15/2010

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I meant to also ask you ladies (and this is another issue entirely), what sort of support you have? Do you have people around you who you can leave your bubs with during the week when you want to go out and run errands, shop or just have some time out? I live in a Geelong with my husband and it's about 1hr away from my parents and family, His family is also 3 hrs away. So basically it's me and Josh all day together. I take him grocery shopping but that's about it. If I want to do something or have an appointment I ask my mum to come up but she's getting old now (78 yrs old). So I feel kinda bad asking her to drive up here, let alone ask her to change a nappy. Can anyone else relate to this? Laura

Laura - posted on 03/15/2010

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Thanks so much girls. You are all right. I guess it's something only we can decide on and not read too much into it. Do the tests, get the best advice from my doctor. I went private last time - had the best obst. Saw him every 2 weeks as he wanted to monitor me closely. Kate, yeah you are right, I don't want to be 10 yrs down the track and wish I'd had had another one (that's what my husband keeps telling me), but he says "it's your body, you make the decision" - he's so supportive. And yes, just because I had problems the first time, it may not happen in the second. I may even have a natural birth - who knows. Mary, I'm so sad you miscarried at 6 weeks. I know how you feel. Are you going to try again or leave it now? Girls, thanks for sharing your stories with me. It's given me much more confidence! And yeah, more and more women are conceiving later in life! Laura xx

Carol - posted on 03/15/2010

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I agree with you Kate. You can't worry. Do what feels right. Where is it written in stone that you can only have babies as a teen up to 30's.

Kate - posted on 03/15/2010

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Every pregnancy is different. l had twins last year at age 46. l was very high risk being of so advanced age and a twin pregnancy. l made it 38 1/2 weeks to my scheduled c-section. The doctor who set the date never thought l'd go that far. But l did with no problems. l'm writing this to let you know that just because your older and have had problems before, doesn't mean there'll be problems again.



Go with what your heart tells you to do. You don't want to be 10 years from now and kicking yourself for not trying again.

Tracy - posted on 03/18/2010

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I say go for it and get pregnant at 43! I am 39 and TTC our last, I have a 23 and 21 year olds and between them they have 3 children. Then my husband decided we needed to have babies together and we had a Tubal reversal, we now have 2 boys 4 and 2. We have been TTC for awhile and have had 8 miscarriages, but we will keep TTC. We have so many people that call us crazy, not to mention the grandparents that are no support. So I say if you want more babies do it, do it for you and your spouse no one else. Good Luck and sending you BABY DUST...

Nikki - posted on 03/17/2010

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Laura , I would say to pray about your decision to get pregnant at 43 :) I was 38 when I had my third child and he was ten weeks early and stayed in NICU for 3 months. He is fine today thank GOd :) But I figured I would give you the advice someone gave to me when I was pregnant with my second child. I had a four year old at the time and I was told "It's far more overwhelming to go from one child to two than it is to go from none to one !!" I did agree once I had my second child. If you do not have much help close by it is definately a challenge but it's worth it :) IF you really want another one . I waited sixteen years to have my third child (accident though) !! Thought I might could help you with that concern .. Good luck to you and God Bless :)

Sharon - posted on 03/17/2010

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Hi Laura-

I gave birth to my son 5 days before I turned 42 years old. I had my daughter when I was 38, and my later pregnancy was actually much healthier. My Ob/Gyn had told me the two biggest problems in trying to have a child over age 40 are 1. getting pregnant and 2. miscarriage. There are slightly increased risks of preeclampsia and gestational diabetes, and of course there's the increased risk of the baby having Down's, but I've always thought those statistics were misleading. Pregnancy at 43 means your chance of having a Down's syndrome child is 1 in 53. That number means that for every Down's Syndrome baby born to a woman that age, 52 babies do not have Down's! Sort of a glass half-empty statistic if you ask me.

As far as stamina, yes I agree it's tougher as you get older, but I think a lot of it depends on the child and the state of your own health. My older child was a horrible sleeper and had colic, whereas my younger was easy to soothe and had a more predictable schedule, so I felt much better with him! I also believe once your body has gone through with a pregnancy and childbirth, it has some "wisdom". I know many Moms, myself included, whose subsequent pregnancies and births were easier than their first.

Best of luck to you!

Veronica - posted on 03/17/2010

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I beleive it depends on your health and your doctor advice, and your faith in God. Faith is the key to everything we say and do. So listen to your Doctor but especially your health when considering getting pregnant at 43. There are many womens having babies older than you with only slight health issues, of course the doctors will say your high risk because your older than 30, so just give it some thought in prayer with your husband.

Christine - posted on 03/16/2010

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Hi, I had my first daughter at 41 (well it was 2 weeks before my 42nd birthday) and then my second daughter at age 43. My first labor was a nightmare and my daughter had some complications and had to be in a humidcrib for a while. Anyway, all good now and healthy. I was the same as you and we decided we would try again for a sibling for our child and I fell pregnant within a month. I cried for a week as I was genuinely frightened of what was to come. However, I had a great pregnancy and my birth was so much easier and no complications. I think once your body has gone through labor it now knows what to do. Other older mums I spoke to all said the same thing. Good Luck with pregnancy at 43 and just have faith in your body. It is amazing what it can do.

Anita - posted on 03/12/2010

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I was 43 when I got pregnant with my last daughter. The pregnancy was fine and I too had a c-section. My pregnancy at 43 had no complications. I did have the amnio and it is a 2% risk to mis-carry when you have one. My first daughter was born eight years ago and that pregnancy was terrible! I had placenta previa which means that the placenta was covering my cervic. I had spotting through out the whole pregnany and had to have a c-section so that I wouldn't hemerage. My daughter is perfectly fine. So my point is every pregnancy is different. My husband and I are 44 now and we believe the girls keep us young. Congradulations on your son!!!!

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