Wrong to stay with husband just because of having kids together ?

User - posted on 10/03/2012

I have thought about this quite a few times.... Me and my husband have been together for 11 years. We were very young when we got pregnant (I was 19). We've had some good times and bad. When it was bad it was really bad. But we were young and immature. I was at a point where I didn't think I wanted to be with him at all. At that point I'd say it's better not being together. I think it's better for the kids if they are not in an environment with parents not getting along , fighting and what not. They can sense the love is not there. You can both still be good parents separately. My oldest son was 6 and he knew something was wrong.... So I'd say it's better for parents not to be together...

Me and my husband did wind up going to a marriage counselor and working through it. I'm glad I stuck it out because I realized that it wasn't that I didn't love him. It was just that we were both young and we had a to of stress all the time. We struggled, we still do. But we have both grown and matured a lot together.

Good luck!



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Lisa - posted on 09/26/2012

Thank you!!!!!!!!!! :)

Bonnie - posted on 01/12/2010

I Learned the hard way! I thought staying with my husband would be the best thing for my child. I finally realized that staying with someone I always argued with and did not get along with had a bigger impact on my child. It was putting my child in the middle of a very traumatizing position. So if you and your husband are not getting along and always arguing then staying is not the best answer. If you feel like you and your husband can change with the help of some counseling, then I would recommend that you do that. If not I would get out of this situation now for your childrens sake and yours!!

Carrie - posted on 01/12/2010

I too am in this position and I am working on getting out.. My children have expressed how unhappy they are here. I cant let this continue. I will pray for you and your family

Andi - posted on 01/12/2010

My husband and I had a conversation about this not long ago. [how we ended up on this subject is a long story...] We were talking about the whole concept of "falling out of love" and whether the simple fact that two people no longer love each other necessitated that they separate. Given that it is economically advantageous to share a household and that children benefit from having both parents actively involved in their lives. Add to that the fact that both parents have more time for the children if they are not trying to maintain separate households and that the standard of living in a two parent household is usually higher than in a single parent household... Is there an advantage to maintaining a "marriage of convenience" in the absence of open hostility or actual threat? Not every marriage fails in a way that requires dissolution. If the two parties aren't fighting, aren't seeking more fulfilling relationships and are willing to or interested in staying together, it might be worth discussing/exploring. It requires communication and shouldn't be taken for granted... but unclear expectations are often more responsible for unhappiness in marriage than the question of whether or not the partners are still "in love."

On a separate note, I suffer from major clinical depression. I have learned, through talk therapy, that many of my feelings of failure and inadequacy stem from my bio-chemical imbalance I understand, now, that it is important to check in with my husband (and my daughter) when I'm feeling like a failure and a disappointment to them. Caroline didn't provide a lot of information or insight into her marriage in her original post. I would advise therapy or counseling to get at the underlying cause of the unhappiness before making a decision that will forever alter all your lives. No matter what decision you end up making, open communication and the ability to turn to an impartial counselor as a sounding board, will be essential.

Carrie - posted on 01/10/2010

Please do not stay with husband for the kids sake. If you can go to couseling with him then do so but if it is not fixable then let it go. The kids are going to be alot happier if you are happy. My parents stayed together until we were adults and they were miserable and so were we. BE HAPPY.Turn to God and let him carry your burdens. God loves you and wants you to be happy. If you husband is not being a spiritual leader and treating you with love and respect that God tells him to in the Bible then he is not worthy of you. Take Care and God Bless. Prayers are with You. Pastor Carrie

Caroline - posted on 01/10/2010

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR HELP !!!!! IT IS GREAT TO KNOW YOU ARE OUT THERE FOR ME....

Elsa - posted on 01/05/2010

First and foremost, you have to be honest to yourself. Reflect upon the reason or reasons of your unhappiness being with husband. Can that be sorted out by talk, discussions, counselling or pastor (if you're a member of a church, denomination, etc). If tried everything and nothing works out, you can walk away from that marriage with your head high. Talk to the children that the reason/s for walking out or separation is not them; they are more adult issues than kids. Reassure kids of your love and that both parents would still be there to give them support. In the long run, no one benefits staying together when the relationship no longer works, and also when love is no longer present. Besides, children are resilient, they will understand when things are explained to them well. Good luck!

Cate - posted on 01/04/2010

Hi Caroline, this happened to me. I left my hubby about 10 years ago when both my kids were quite young 9 and 6. This did end up hurting the kids, they were never quite themselves, then 2 yrs later we re-united. I don't know, for me, if this was the right decision. I know I did it for the children, they mean more to me than anything in the world including my own happiness. I am now questioning the meaning of happiness. I hope all goes well with what you decide to do. I tend to think that if you are worried about the kids now, what ever you decide won't change that. Good luck!
Cate

Deb - posted on 01/03/2010

If you're fussing and fighting all of the time, you are hurting the children more in the long run by staying together. It's a toxic environment for them. If there is anyway to save your marriage please do it, but if not, your children should not grow up thinking that marriage should be a miserable existence. Too many children are brought up with the example of their parents having no love or respect for each other. They need to know that this is not how it should be. Good Luck and God Bless You

Rochelle - posted on 01/03/2010

I am shocked and a little disappointed at all the quick advice from so many to end the marriage when there is really not enough information presented to give such advice. All we know is that you are trying to be a good wife and mother but you feel that you are not and that you are not happy with your husband. You did not give any of the circumstances or why you feel you are not being a good wife and mother. If this is an issue where you have never felt adequate in anything you do than you may have some deeper self esteem issues. Likewise we do not know why you are unhappy with your husband. If he is abusing you then that IS reason to leave and get you and your children to safety but if it is a matter of just not "feeling in love" anymore or having someone else than that is different. Marriage can be wonderful but it is hard work and the best thing you can do for your children if it is not an abuse, adultery, or addiction issue is to stay and work to make your marriage stronger. Also make sure the problem is not you and that you are emotionally healthy. Remember deeper identity and self esteem issues can cause you to view your husband yourself, and those you love through the lenses of how you feel about yourself.. If you are not already comfortable in your own skin, your husband will never be able to make you comfortable. It starts with you. I suggest finding a good counselor to work on your own issues because what concerns me is that YOU do not feel as if you are a good wife and mother no matter how hard you try. Also marriage counseling would be in order. Find a good pastoral counselor who has the best interest of the marriage at heart. Cannot really say whether you should leave or not because you have not given enough information. Love is a verb and a conscious act and not all warm fuzzies all the time. You want to teach your children that though life is difficult, it is best to face and deal with the issues rather than run from them. Just my 2 cents.

Helen - posted on 01/02/2010

hi sharon,

believe me it will get much better, theres no need to feel lonely, please feel free to mail me and we can always chat about parenting, kids, men lol etc etc

Sharon - posted on 01/02/2010

I was in a similar position about a year and a half ago, and it just wasn't working out for me, so I packed up and leave I was tired of being abused mentally and verbally, my kids are grown and could do things for themselves, so now I live by myself. It is a bit lonely sometimes but I do feel better by myself. I have come to realize that I only stayed for the sake of the kids

Helen - posted on 01/02/2010

hi caroline
i have 4 children from 2 marriages and my advice to you is dont stay with your hubby for the sake of the kids, my husband and i split in january 2009 at first it was tough on the kids but after a while they became ok, he has met someone who makes him happy and i met a wonderful man in november 2009 who has turned my life around, you owe it to yourself to be happy , being unhappy will reflect on the children and thats not good,

hope this helps

helen x
my addy is helen.54@hotmail.co.uk if you want to mail me anytime

Lynda - posted on 01/01/2010

Brave girl.. hang on in there. and a Happy New Year to you and all mums in your situation..

Lynda - posted on 01/01/2010

Adding my 5 pennyworth.. I'm a 57 year old mum of an 11 year old boy.. My parents 'stayed together for the sake of the children' when I was around 11 years old.. We had 'the family discussion' and I somehow managed to talk them out of it 'for the sake of my older brother and younger sister', both who took the news very badly.. The next 7 years was pretty miserable as I remember.. my parents obviously thought they could cover up the way they felt towards each other - don't kid yourself - we saw everything! There may be parents who can keep some semblance of a relationship going when everything else has gone, but I'm betting they are rare.. Unless you can stay friends and enjoy some time together I'm of the opinion the kids are better off knowing you are both happy in separate lives than miserable in a life sacrificed 'for their benefit'.. I know I would have been.. I, very stupidly, left home and got married myself at 18 just to get away.. Divorced at 21.. eventually got over my childhood and remarried happily at 43 which is why I now have an 11 year old whirlwind at 57.. Good luck with it - you've got lots of good advice but only you can decide..

Trine - posted on 01/01/2010

Considerin her own happiness is not beig selfish,its called healthy mental and emotional stability.Its wrong for someone to be with someone they don't love,thats how you teach your children about honesty.How could you say something like that

Trine - posted on 01/01/2010

Heres the thing,If you don't do whats best for you, you'll never beable to do whats best for the kids.Personally this is a thing that only prayer can solve.I've been there and i was a very unhappy person for a long time which reflected on my children.If he's a good father he will always be there for your children.Just put it in Gods hands

Becky - posted on 12/31/2009

Caroline,
Only you can make that decision, but I can tell you that in my first marriage, there were subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) clues about the state of my marriage. My husband was a controlling person, very bitter towards females in general and rather than attending counseling with me, he thought the solution to ALL our problems was to have another baby (we already had 2 children). I finally decided that I DID NOT want my son to grow up to be JUST LIKE HIS FATHER.
It was hard, but it was the best decision I have ever made for both myself and my 2 children. It was difficult, but there comes a point in life where a person has to decide whether to sink or swim, and at the time of our marriage, I was slowly sinking under the weight of my husband's controlling behavior. You might find that if you continue with the marriage for a bit longer, things will change for the better, but you might also find that with the strength that is within you, you can move on, towards a more peaceful life for yourself and your children. Either way, I wish you the best of luck and happiness in your future.

Karen - posted on 12/31/2009

Children learn how to be an adult from the adults in their life. If children see the Mom/woman unhappy and giving up her happiness so everyone else's lives are easier, they will grow up believing that's what women do...sacrifice themselves for everyone else. The same with the Dad/man, if he only works and supports his family, the children will think that Dad's only value is in their ability to provide financial support. These are very general terms and examples...we are hear to show how to deal with, and support our children through the unending changes that we call Life. Our sons and
daughters need to know they have their own purposes and gifts that have nothing to do with raising a family or providing financial means for others. We must teach our children to be happy with who they are and their dreams...only then will they be able to truely care about others...

Sonia - posted on 12/31/2009

Hello Caroline.

When I was with my husband things got way out of control. He always said to me, if ever I left, he would make sure that I didn't have acess to my children. Because of this, i carried on with life as per normal, even though I was being abused and other things.

I My son was also beating up my daughter and playing truant and us not knowing, then we were being pestered by social services through no fault of our own.
I spent every school morning getting them up at 7am since they started junior school and almost finished secondary school.

My husband never really did much, but when they played up, they would get hit hard.
It was like boys v girls.

Eventually I thought I had enough c***, had a breakdown because of all the years struggling and putting up with it, I seeked help and eventually moved in to a woman's refuge with my daughter and have now been housed for 3 years.

Life has been a little better, but now I am trying to sort out my daughter.

I got divorced and do still see him sometimes at weekends and get on better than we did when we were married.

Seek help 1st dependiing on the situation like domestic abuse. They were very helpful.

Hope this helps Caroline.

Happy New Year!!

Dawn - posted on 12/31/2009

Caroline,
Life is too short and this is not a dress rehearsal. Do what makes you happy. Everyone will be better off. I have a dear friend who divorced when her daughter was 5. That little girl ended up with 4 loving parents and her own became friends again. They just couldn't live together.

Kathy - posted on 12/31/2009

Also if your husband is causing you pain by being an addict or running you into the ground finincially then go. My sister in law stayed with her husband for the last two years not wanting to break up the family. About two weeks ago, her son said something to her about money and she started to check things out. It turns out that her husband had run them into over 100K in debt and she had no idea. So she sent him packing and is now looking for a lawyer. Good luck.

Kathy - posted on 12/31/2009

Staying together is not in the best interest of the children if you and your spouse are not happy. If you have tried to work things out and did not suceed or there are underlying issues such as abuse (even verbal) then leave. I am curious as to why you think your a bad wife and mother. To be a good wife means that your are loving and supportive of your husband. Not run a ship shape house (which is hard when children enter the picture). I have my days were I do things or say things to my children and wish I had never acted that way. But my boys are happy and loving. Are oldest keeps asking for a better house but that is a huge financial issuse that we will have to address next year as we are saving for a downpayment and will be there is a couple of months just in time to get him into a better school distrcit.

Maggie - posted on 12/30/2009

That depends on his relationship with the children and also how he treats you in their prescence. If all relations are strained it might be best to leave simply because it is impossible for anyone in these circumstances to be happy and the stress of trying to appear happy only stresses everyone.

Julie - posted on 12/30/2009

I have never believed in staying together for the children's sake, my parents did and I went through hell listening to their arguments, when they eventually got divorced they became really good friends and things were so much better but by this time I was about to get married myself. The main thing here is to make sure the kids know and really understand that it has nothing to do with them.

Tina - posted on 12/30/2009

You hurt the children more in the long run if you stay and are unhappy. I lived with parents all my life and they were depressed and unhappy. I asked my mom why she stayed with my dad to bad mouth him and be unhappy ? She did it for her kids and said what else could I do??? She was artistic and resented not being able to her own thing. She owned her own business. Very independant and head strong. My advice is that you live for yourself.. because this is your life... and if you don't you will regret it.
I wish my father would have left my mom.. visa versa.. because now he is dead and she is still unhappy at 79. Too bad. They made my brothers and I feel uneasy and we all felt like crap.. they argued (not too much physical violence) but name calling and tension.. didn't sleep together and my father cried over it. It made such an impact on me.

Mellinda - posted on 12/30/2009

I agree with those that have comented before me. I started going with my now ex-husband at 14, married at 21 had first child at 28 and divorced at 45 years old. It was torture daily with the marriage. In front of everyone he was the greatest guy and behind doors it all had to be his way. We moved away from our hometown and I had hoped that it was have made us closer but it didn't. My son ended up not coming home anymore at 15 and ran away from home constantly. My daughter at 12 years old ended up asking why I stayed because it was impossible to measure up to "perfect" not only for her but for all of us. There was a daily argument no matter if I tried to walk off and just do chores, he would follow me.

I divorced 5 years ago and eventhough it was and still is hard on my children now 23 and 17 my son didn't feel he belonged anywhere and my daughter by law had to visit her dad. However, it has made my children grow up and mature and now my daughter and I help those that have been abused and a local pregnancy center. My son has joined the Air Force and has found his niche' in the world as a crew chief on a KC-10 aircraft.

My ex is still trying to tear us apart and I have found a wonderful new husband. Life and God gives us a path and we need to follow it. I prayed for years...I mean REALLY prayed hard for years to be the perfect wife, mother, daughter, sister, employee that I could be. It was never good enough! NEVER!

It is a "controlling" thing and it will not go away just because you divorce, but he will go through trying to control eery situation with visitation and money with your kids. You need a good support group such as family, friends and the law to know what your rights are as a mother and an "inidvidual".

God has made me go through what I did to help others. I will keep you in my prayers and know that God has a plan, when it is time to make that decision YOU WILL KNOW! The voice wil be loud!

God bless!

Jeannie - posted on 12/30/2009

I'm right where you are Caroline, so no advice from me. I've been struggling for 23 years now. My husband is not violent, but criticizes me and the kids all the time. We have 6 kids together. It is of no use to try to please him, because its impossible. I have come to the point where I don't feel anything for him....neither love nor hate. I'm just empty. He expects me and the kids to be obedient and submissive at all times. I wish we were friends..........but we are not. I want to be happy, but I never will be.........I don't know if I should leave or not. I still have 4 kids under 13. I will never allow myself to depend on another man whatever happens. I am 43 years old.

Teresa - posted on 12/29/2009

As a grown child with three children...make the best choice for the children...which does NOT include the parents emotions...was raised by a "mother" who thought it best~wished she would have had another thought...

Theresa (Billie) - posted on 12/29/2009

Hey girl, didn't realize you were going thru this. Its a hard call only open, honest communicatin b/t the 2 of u will solve this. I agree w/ most of your replies here. My kids suffered when I stayed married to their dad. Although it was also hard when we split............in the long run it turned out to be the best thing. But, I think if u and him sit down w/o kids in house (mine is an option.........haha) or go out to a public place (can't yell there!) and really open up and be honest........I promise you , you will know what to do next.

Sherri - posted on 12/29/2009

Quoting Sheri:

Love is a commitment, not a feeling....

I totally disagree;  Love is a feeling, marriage is a commitment.  

I was horribly unhappy in my first marriage. With children aged 9 and 12, I finally got up the courage to leave after 14 years.  I did not want my 2 daughters to grow up thinking that the relationship I had with their father was normal, I wanted more for them.  

Since that time I have remarried (we recently celebrated our 9th anniversary) and have had 3 more children.  I have never known such happiness!  I've never doubted my husbands love or commitment to me or our 5 children.  This is what marriage is supposed to be like.  

Leslie - posted on 12/29/2009

I believe that in this day we can just take it or leave it. It's not the way it was meant to be. When we are joined with our spouse we are meant to try EVERYTHING to keep that marriage together. It is what God intended when He brought us together. It's just so easy to quit any more and no one thinks much of it. It IS the right thing to stay together for your children. Stay together and work on your marriage. THAT is the right thing to do for them and for yourselves. If you are trying harder than he is then so be it. Someone always works harder. In the end you will be blessed in knowing that you made it work. Pray, go to see your Pastor, do whatever it takes.

Lisa - posted on 12/29/2009

This is a complicated question and not a lot of info about your situation. Marriage is a long road with many twists and turns. My husband drives me crazy at times with his emotional issues from childhood and i drive him crazy at times too. I don't think people grow and work through their stuff unless they can stay when it gets tough. I think we often marry the person we need to in order to work on our selves. We are both so annoying at times it is hard to assign blame. But we try! When we get to be alone without our kids we remember why we are together. For us, our child rearing strains our marriage. We both need more time to recharge! Maybe you could consider working on your individual lives and spend some time together just having fun. Also it is my personal opinion (might not be popular) that talking is over rated but doing and playing is the key!

Kay - posted on 12/29/2009

What it comes down to is if your happy. If your not happy no one elts will be around you. The kids know you are not and the tension is probably unreal. My ex and i are better friends now and the problem was never with the kids. Sometimes we have to make adult decitions with out the kids and try to do our best to pick up the pieces. I stayed too but in the end i finally had to leave. It just wasnt worth the stress. My oldest for the longest time wished we would get back together but in the end he agreed it was better we didnt. I always made sure the kids would see us out in the crowd at games and concerts and always made sure i was there when he let them down (witch was often im afraid) Just do whats best for YOU in this case and everything will fall into place. Just try to remember its your problem not the kids and they need not be drug into a messy fight. :)

Ginny - posted on 12/29/2009

it depends on why you are not happy. if there is fighting, it must stop.

if drinking/drugs are a problem, it must be controled.

if he just isn't the sweet guy you married, wait a while, he might get nicer.

try to avoid old habits that make everyone unhappy, do some things you enjoy and find new interests to share.

Children can be hurt many different ways, so judge for yourself which is best, and make sure they are not exposed to violence or addictions.

Family counseling might help.

Jill - posted on 12/29/2009

I was in the same boat. I got out. I am much happier now and my kids dad and I are now friends.

Beth - posted on 12/29/2009

I really became disheartened as I read so many replies jumping on the "leave him now" band wagon. Obviously if you (or kids) are in physical danger or severe abuse you must take care of personal safety first. But marriage is tough. I was so warmed to read Sherri H. reply and Brenda B.'s reply. Love is a VERB. It is synonomous with work.
Before giving up on the marriage I whole heartedly agree (and have done) "one more last chance" as some country song title goes. Fireproof and Love Dare are excellent places to begin. The 5 Love Languages is one that helped my marriage transform.
But, the key is to focus on growing you to be who God designed you to be. You can't change HIM (or anyone else really). By growing you, he will see the changes which can give him the desire to change to be the man you fell in love with, or even better. You can not keep a tally card. You do this because at one time you promised to love this man forever and you are giving it the best effort you have. It may still not work out, but I promise you will love the things you learn about yourself on your journey! Don't stay for the children, stay because you want to give it another (or another and another) try and this time, get help learning about you!! It is a good journey~ and you are not alone.

Gabrielle - posted on 12/28/2009

My marriage only lasted 4 years and to leave was the best thing i did for me and my two children, they were only 4 and 5yrs old. My husband was immature and used to have affairs and put me down all the time. They are now 15 and 16 and i raised them on my own, ive never felt the need to have another committed relationship, or a husband. My kids dont remember the bad times, my ex always remained in their lives and although i had to hold my tounge at times, we remained friendly. He is great with the kids now that they are older, and im glad, He's grown up a bit. We get on really well now, it should always be about protecting the children. Dont stay in a marriage where there is no love, its not worth it. women are so strong, you need to believe in yourself, and if your truely unhappy, you need to do something about it. good luck.

Janine - posted on 12/28/2009

Leaving is easier said than done. At one time it was "what's yours is mine & what's mine is yours"... you need to be financially stable to split from your spouse and your spouse's income. Next... who leaves, who takes the children and when? Your life will be turned completely upside down. If your not ready or strong enough to leave, then dont. Try to work it out. Marraige counselling should be your first step.

Debi - posted on 12/28/2009

I think it is worse on the kids staying together if you are so unhappy and arguing all the time. That isn't good for anyone, you, your husband or the kids.

You might try counseling if you do not want to give up on your marriage. Can't hurt...

Christine - posted on 12/28/2009

Hi it is hard but wrong to stay, it will affect the kids. I myself was a child that came from an unhappy home. And now ive done the same thing and stayed in a marriage that i was unhappy in. And now my 18yr old daughter is receiving counciling cause she suffers anxiety. Think really hard if your not happy get out now. Good luck your in my thoughts x

Debby - posted on 12/27/2009

hi caroline..my own personal opinion is this..when parents stay together because they feel they have too because they have kids,is wrong..kids arent stupid,they know when mommy n daddy aint happy,and honestly i feel its better for the kids when the parents who dont get along,part their seperate ways,BUT stay in the kids lives..most kids who are raised by parents who arent happy together usually arent the happiest only cause of what they seen,or heard..

Susan - posted on 12/27/2009

I was going to give you my advice and my experience. Sounds like these women have said basically what I would say. I divorced my first husband after being married for 14 yrs. My kids were 10 & 5 when we first separated. It was the best thing I'd done for me and the kids.

Debra - posted on 12/26/2009

I was married for 19 years when my husband asked for a divorce. We have 2 children 25 and 20 year olds. I was miserable and so unhappy. We should have divorced alon time ago but i didn't think i could do it financially but my children had told me recently that we should have along time ago. I thought by staying in a miserable marriage was right for them and i lost myself. I was mentally and verbally abused. the constant verbal beat downs everyday killed my self esteem and thought i was undeserving for anyone. We have been divorced for 7 years now and it is truly the best for me and my children.

Jean - posted on 12/26/2009

Caroline,

Your mental happiness comes first above anything. If you are unhappy regardless of how much you hide your expressions, everyone around you in the house will still feel the tension between you and your spouse. Children sense a mothers feelings. They see more than you think they do. If the un-happiness is due to lack of conversation, try striking one up with him. If it is cheating, end it now. It will come back to haunt your emotions repeatedly. If it is abusive, definately get out or get him out. You cannot change a person, no matter how you try. They will promise the moon and eventually break that promise to you. If your children are at an age to communicate with, then do it. Don't just leave and not explain why you are leaving with them. Thats where the confusion starts.

My reason was of a financial situation, my kids were under 10. I explain that they are not to blame what so ever. That they were loved by both parents and that this was best for them. That they still contact their Dad when ever they wanted. He would always be there Dad. It was rough at first trying to balance everything.



You can always replace the one you love, in time, but you can never replace your children.

Mary - posted on 12/26/2009

Is staying in an unhappy marriage really going to help your children?  Is your husband unhappy with you?

 

I strongly suggest you get into pastoral counseling before doing anything rash.

 

 

Quoting Caroline:

Wrong to stay with husband just because of having kids together ?

Trying to be a good mom and wife seems I never do either. If not happy with husband but,do not want to hurt children what do I do ?

Jeanette - posted on 12/25/2009

do what your heart tells you to do

Gloria - posted on 12/25/2009

I have been married for 22years, When I got married I was determinded only to stay in the relationship if it was working. as I was so unhappy seeing my mother stay in a relationship for the sake of the children.
Whenever my husbane was being too difficult I would leave him or ask him to leave. We would get back together after resolving the issues. Our relationship got better after each period of seperation. We have not had to seperate for over ten years now. He no longer tries to emotionly blackmail me or belittle me. In fact we have quite a roll reversal now he is the one to do most of the cooking, cleaning and pampering me.

So my advice would be to leave him and only accept him back when he releases what he is doing to make you unhappy and is willing to change.

Vickie - posted on 12/25/2009

I have been there and did that, that is not a good thing. Why? Because children know when you in some kind of pain and this make thems unhappy. Children are like a ball so to speak they can will bounce back. They main thing is to pray and ask God for guidance and try to have a civil relationship with partner if you so choose leave just make sure you and children are safe. My quote is in order to make those around me happy I have to be happy as well or i have live my life in vein. You only live once so go for what you know that is best you and the other happen when the Good Lord will take care of the rest. Good Luck and be Bless.