anyone else have these isues with their kids?

Michelle - posted on 04/02/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have a 8 yr old step son but to me he is a son and not a step..he has adhd as well as reactive attachment disorder and ocd....when he was 4 his egg doner of a mother's ex boyfriend abused him and left bruises all over his butt...dhs stepped in and gave my husband primary residency and he lives with us now.....she gets weekend visits but she only takes him at her convenience and goes months with no contact and shows just how little she really cares about him....I am not sure it his behavior has anything to do with this but that is the background of it....so I desperately need help and guidance he is 8 and still pees the bed so we are working on it....few yrs back we found pee in his toy box we washed it up to him getting up late and being disoriented...i had to clean it all up and we just gave him a heads up like the following yr i find a corner in the back of his closet was destroyed from pee unknown how may times he did it...so he got grounded.....few months ago i find another spot soaked from pee...this time he was grounded for a week....today yet again we find his toy box destroyed and all his and his younger brothers toys destroyed and when confronted he just states i don't know why i did it.....i cant control my balder.....can anyone help??????

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Raquel - posted on 09/06/2010

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My son (not step) has ADHD and he also has the occational "wetting" accident. He is a bright 10 year old who sometimes forgets himself, he gets extreamly embarrassed when it happens but I try to brush it off so not to panic him. He already has low self-esteem so I really don't want to send him into a depressive sate (as this is also common with someone who has ADHD). My son act's as if he simply does not care but I know this is not true, us mothers step or not we know our children. Im not sure if punnishment is the best way forward as it seems to happen every now and then and god only knows when our parent's told us off as children we'd shut ourselves away or just simply didn't listen! I find that when i sit my son down on the occasion's he has had his accident and talk to him, he has been worried about something thats going on at home or at school. That for me seems to work, untill he has something else on his mind he is worried about. Not sure if my advice will help everyone cause all our children are different, hope you get to the bottom of it soon for your sake x

Amy - posted on 08/04/2010

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Hello,

I am sorry to hear your situation. I my self is a stepparent and has a stepson who is 13 and still wetting the bed. Never had him pee on things, but he’ll wet the bed and not say anything. Then he’ll leave his wet clothes on the floor and sleep in the same dried up bed from the night before. I found him doing this and let him know it’s gross. But with telling him even making him wash his own stuff wasn’t good enough and getting threw to him. So I took him to therapy and she said he has ADD and emotional issues. Well let’s say this explained allot to me why he’s doing this. They have put him on med for wetting the bed and they work if taken and he is getting therapy for his issue with the separation of his parent. We also have custody of my husband children she not a good mother this should explains why we have them. So this is very hard an a child to see there parent split at any age. It causes mental and emotional issues and stuff like this comes to arise. I am glad to here you tread and care for him as your own not many stepparent do so. I feel that if you go to a therapist and get to the bottom of his emotional issues and get him on meds for wetting it will get better.

Amie - posted on 04/18/2010

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My step son had issues with peeing his pants for 2 years it started out as accidents duing the night and then it turned into an everyday thing we had to remind him to go to the bathroom and he could just be talking to you and wet himself. The doctor told us it was him being to caught up in what he was doing and just not caring and we had to let him know we loved him but we had to discipline him, Most ADHD kids though dont care about grounding or taking things away they get to the point that they just think oh well I will get it back or whatever it will be over soon. We now make our son write sentences as a punishment and he is much more aware of his behavior now.

Heather - posted on 04/18/2010

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We are having some of the same problems. My 7 year old step son has not seen his "egg donor" for a while now. He was diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, Aspergers and they think he has reactive attachment disorder. He has his own bathroom in his room but would rather pee in his pants then go to the bathroom. He still wets the bed at night too. We are thinking it is one of 2 things, 1 - it's a control issue and that is what he can control, or 2 - he knows it will get a rise out of us. He gets punished appropriately but nothing we do seems to help. We are frustrated with him and kind of at a loss for what to do as well. We have had him checked by the doctor to ensure that there is nothing physical wrong with him, but he has only started doing this in the past year or so. My son is very routine based and any changes in his routine sends him off the deep end. Some of the symptoms of ODD are the "I don't know" answers. Unfortunately all of the books that I have read on the subject are geared more towards older children and none of the suggestions really fit our needs. I wish I could help more, but just know that you are not alone!

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