i need help with my 10 year old who has anxity problems and how to deal with her when her anxity goes up.

[deleted account] ( 9 moms have responded )

i have been trying to get help for her since she was two, but its been the same every where. she is not on any meds, i have been doing what they ask of me. but its hard for her cause she really doent know how to deal or handle it when her anxity does go up. i do take things one day at a time, and it hurts me to see her that way. i just want some advice on how she can deal with her anxity. she is only 10 but as she gets older, like in her teens, its going to be alot harder for her. its doesnt get any better, but i do show her we all love her dearly.

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Rebecca - posted on 06/07/2009

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My son has delt with anxiety, ADD and ODD. His anxiety is stemming from some issues that happened to how he was treated when he was little and started school. So when he is home is usually decent, you can tell when he starts to get irritated though. The best start is for you to write down all the things you see as "triggers". She is old enough now that you talk to her about it rationally. Then you sit her down and ask her if she recognizes any of the "triggers" you have written out. If she says yes then highlight those, then ask her if she knows of any herself that are not on the list, ie..friends, social situations, new places, new people etc. You have to narrow it down to a few key triggers and start working with her one on one to come up with one or two better coping mechanisms for her to try. She has to try it herself and then make a time after that when you can sit down with her and she can report back to you if what she tried worked. How she felt about trying it, was she comfortable etc. If you can find some good coping strategies for her now she should have enough time in the next few years to make stick in her routines and she should be able to better handle the changes coming in her teen years.

Paula - posted on 04/23/2009

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My daughter has anxiety. She has been in play therapy since she was 3 because of what happened to her before we adopted her. Last year in school was pretty bad and her grades reflected that she wasn't focused because of the anxiety. She is now 8 and has been on medication for almost a year and it has made a big difference in her attitude and grades. She is able to focus in school and is learning better this year. We still have times when she has problems, but not nearly as bad as before. You might also try giving her a journal so that she can write down what she is feeling and what is wrong so that she can express herself without anyone commenting.

Fay - posted on 04/23/2009

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My son is 18 and still gets anxiety attacks. He becomes very agressive and self destructive at these times. We finally found (after years of doing the rounds) a great psychiatrist that he trusts and is willing to talk to. He no longer takes Ritalin and is (very) slowly learning how to deal with life as he is.

Amy - posted on 04/15/2009

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My daughter who is 9 and has ADHD has severe anxiety and difficulty expressing her feelings. I have been taking her to counseling at a Childrens hospital and it has worked wonders. There are many steps that you can take to get her to the point of being able to recognize her feelings and how to deal with each one. Breathing and thinking about the situation and writing down how she is feeling helps. Anything to help her express feelings when she is not able to communicate them. The psychiatrist did lessons out of a book. I will look back to find out what it is and maybe you can get it and do the lessons with her. Best of luck to you.

Becky - posted on 04/10/2009

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I found that the breathing exercises practiced every night before bed, and then having her lay on her back and try to focus on small sections of her entire body, from head to toe and consciously relax each individual section at a time, really did wonders for her. It really helped her to know that she was able to control her own mind and body. And because it was practiced every night and at the onset of any anxiety throughout the day, in no time it became instinctual practice and the anxiety less and less until eventually not an problem any longer.

[deleted account]

thanks everyone for you advice. i did try to do breathing and massages for my daughter, it did help her when she was smaller but now its alot different for her. she tells me that it scares her when her anixity goes up and she doent know what her body is doing to her. she shuts herself down at school and its hard for her teacher get out of her moods, once she is in her moods she shuts down and its hard for her to get out of it. i look on the internet and i found that my daughter in not alone with this problem at school. its called selective mutisum in which a child with anxity, adhd, autism and other problems in which its hard for a child to express their fellings and to say what is really wrong. and its not a form of a learning disability but a way that a child finds hard for them to talk about whats wrong. and that there is ways to help that child out. im going to try anything possable for my daughter for her to be a better person once she gets older, and to get her prepared for the future. cause if i dont get help now for her, like in her teens she is going to find it more difficult in the long run.

Karen - posted on 03/12/2009

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i have a son whos 12 yrs old has bad anxity problems like u have been fightin for help since my son was 4 he is on medication for adhd. We have finally got a someone he can talk to about hes anxity he starts next week . All that i can suggest is that you keep on and on at your doctor they will help in the end just keep fighting !

Kim - posted on 03/04/2009

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Have you tried natural supplements/vitamins? I've seen amazing results with my son since he's been taking vitamins, as well as other supplements.

Kim Woodlief
www.LiveTotalWellnessToday.com

Cassandra - posted on 02/28/2009

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You could try breathing exercises, pressure points, massage, chiropractic, or a herbal remedy for stress and anxiety.  Practice for situations, ie. if this happens you can try this. so that she will already have a game plan.



I will think more on this and ask around.  My 13 year old is ADHD, OCD, ODD, LDs. and aggressive behavior issues that can be exaggerated by stress, anxiety, and insecurity.



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