Tina - posted on 02/07/2009 ( 28 moms have responded )
Tina - posted on 02/07/2009 ( 28 moms have responded )
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Lisa - posted on 01/20/2013
The system is failing my son too!!
Marlaina - posted on 04/05/2011
If you look around at the growing rate of Austism in the US we now see the education system creating training programs for working with Autistic kids. Why not have a training program for kids with ODD? I wish my son could be mainstreamed by now (6th grade / Jr. high) but Im hoping he will be 75% mainstream by high school. I feel its a combination of the school, knowledge of this disorder and the teachers ability to handle the energy of our kids during the school year. I have been fighting for his rights to find programs to help him in school since 1st grade. He took on this "bad kid" persona to protect himself from the judgment of the teachers which trickled down to the kids in his class who told him to his face he was bad. My son is a teddy bear when he's in a good place and thats 90% of the time now ( a huge step up from "pre-diagnosis" days where he was calm only 40% of the time) To hear him tell kids " oh I got kicked out of there" or " yeah that teacher hates me" broke my heart. With all the fighting I did for him I finally got a wonderful therapist from the county who would come see him at school and home. He became our advocate and developed a strong bond with my son. Having that trusted person on campus when Im at work has helped too. Our kids need a safe person/place at school. I wish we could create a solid training program for teachers to work with our kids in a way that fosters and nurtures our kids....even when they are having a really bad day! Our kids are sensitive and need extra love and understanding not judgment a exasperation because they bounce outside the lines of conformity educators prefer these days! Mainstreaming is all about preparation for the big worl out there when they are adults. I know he will have his striggles as an adult but if he feel s the system is against him Im afraid of his perspective and ability to try when he is an adult. This is a life long disorder not a phase they will grow out of. Its our job to prepare them for life as an adult but we have an uphill battyle when the very system we all rely on is putting them down, demonizing and excluding them. This is counter productive now and long term....something has to change.
Kim - posted on 01/03/2011
A couple of people asked about a daytime medication... my kiddo is having very good results on Vyvanse during the day for school. Unfortunately, it wears off by 5, so homework, chores and bedtime can be rough.
Cristy - posted on 12/15/2010
oh and p.s. I used to believe it was all about parenting until God showed me otherwise in my own life. So, as far as that goes...don't ever let yourself believe that mess!
Cristy - posted on 12/15/2010
I have a six year old daughter with ADHD and ODD...and I am not kidding when I say it has been since birth! You are definitely NOT alone.
Tammie - posted on 11/11/2010
i have a 11 yr daughter that has adhd,and odd,she started on intuniv 2mg recently but im still having problems with her hitting her twin sister or throwing stuff at her when she gets mad i dont no what to do anymore im afraid shes really going to hurt her plss help any advice
Lindsey - posted on 08/10/2010
My 6 year old son was recently diagnosed with adhd and odd. He is doing better but seams to be worse for dad than me. He loves beating the timer. You set the timer say 10 minutes and he has to get all his toys picked up before the time runs out. He loves it! We are not using any medication. just giving him his chance to talk and making sure he gives us our chanmce to talk helps alot with him listening and doing what he is told to do.
Lisa - posted on 06/09/2010
My son is 7 and has ADHD and ODD. I find that if your consistant with punishments and rewards, and constantly encourage them, it helps. They tend to feed on negative attitudes towards them. They need constant positive and encouraging remarks and love. Its hard, but pick your battles with him/her. If they arent hurting anyone, themselves, or any property, let it slide. Since ive been doing that I have noticed a big change in my son. He resonds so much better when Im uplifting him rather than nitpicking on everything he does. Good luck!!
Crystal - posted on 04/24/2010
I have a 9 year old that has ADD and ODD she has good days and bad days
i just wish she would stop being so mean and hateful some times so no your not alone
Marlaina - posted on 03/19/2010
I have a 10 year old with the same diagnosis. I have gone the natural route and there are times I wonder if a medication would be better but for now Im just working on his diet, chiropractic/cranial sacral therapy and supplements.
Socially I see he is not the butterfly I am. He has a few buddies but he does best in a small group rather than a large group of kids. Neighborhood kids are tough on him and Im hoping he will connect with a pal in our neighborhood at some point.
He is in a special ed. class that has helped him catch up on his studies after No Child Left Behind gave his mainstream teacher no time, tool or patience to work with him. Im worried about the next school level in 2 years, Jr High, and how will he do? How will he thrive socially if he is still in special ed classes? I want to get him back into mainstream but the out bursts & fits continue and Im not sure when that will be.
what is your experience??
Diane - posted on 03/19/2010
hi me 7 year old son has adhd and odd i would love to chatt to other ppl that have kids like my thanks diane
Marlaina - posted on 03/15/2010
Well that depends on what you need help on? can you be more specific?
Diane - posted on 02/25/2010
hi i have a 7 year old boy wlth adhd and odd. dont no much about odd can any 1 help
Kim - posted on 02/23/2010
Hia Marlaina, trying to do the right thing for a non adder is hard, trying to understand and support an adder is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do in my life and nobody really understands or wants to if they have not had personal experience of this. I have spent the last 8yrs, fighting education, social services, mental health teams, even the ADHD team I have fought against as they have had my son on thier waiting list since July 2006. My thoughts are - from experience is money, to help and support children likes ours costs this country millions over their life span and it is so frustrating when you hear of money used in supporting drug addicts which is self inflicted unlike our children who are born with this horrible illness. People look down on us as parents, bad parenting, we apparently don't care about our children, these people are nasty to us and to our children. These people only see a disruptive, rude, disrespectful child, unlike us we see the whole child, the loving side, the side of them that plead and cry to you as a parent for help as they don't understand why they do these things, they don't see us fighting desperately for our children, hitting a brick wall which ever way we turn. The annoying thing is, with the proffessionals, they are dealing with young children, who are learning from an early age, they have had all the training etc etc, yet they see a child that is different and we as parents are blamed for their nice little routines for the day going to pot, we don't get any training for our children it's a life time of trial and error, OMG!!! ranting sorry......my son is taking 80mgs per day of Methylphenate-20mgs 4xper day and respirodone 1mg per night. I find because he is on such a high dose, he becomes extremely hyper, angry, frustrated etc when this wears off, the respirodone helps him to sleep, that's when he finally stays in bed. I read a lot of case studies and that's were I found out about the Chlonidine, but as you know all these children are different so what works for one may not for another. My son is also on his 3rd primary school. The 1st was mainstream, the teachers and Headmaster in my opipion should be shot for the way they treated my son, in his 1st month at this school (age 3) he was excluded, he got screamed at daily and was not allowed to play outside or to go on trips, i threatened to sue the education department and he was finally moved to another school, it was mainstream but had a class for children like my son, here they were lovely, 4 teachers and 4 pupils, the atmosphere in the whole school was a jolly one but my son was too much for them to handle and although my son loved them all and so did I I found a school out of county, who dealt with children with special needs and every need, we have a home/school diary, which I started about 3-4 yrs ago, where each of us explains what my son has been like, I started this as to pin point triggers etc and that's how I realised that the triggers for some of my son behaviours where his medication was wearing off and the ODD started to kick in, the school has it's own nurses on site, psychologists and respite facilities also are available but onlky after the trial period. Toby has been going for about a month but started full time yesterday and he is on a 3 mth trial, if after this time they feel they cannot support him then it's home schooling and at only 5hrs per week, I have to pay for the rest, which is horrendous, so I may have yet another fight on my hands. ha ha we don't care much for our children do we!!!! I love my son to bits and if I had to do it all over again I would a million times if I had to, don't get me wrong it has and still is the hardest job I have ever had and I would not wish this life on my wosrt enemy but at the end of the day he is my son and deserves the best like all children do. God I feel like a lecturer now, hope this helps in some way. Hugs to you and good luck xxx
Marlaina - posted on 02/21/2010
Hi Kim, Ive got a 10 year old and we have been in and out of classrooms, after school programs, summer camps & sport teams. After being called into the principals office 100 times I finally got the school to put him into an IEP program and from there demanded they help with the evaluation to see what is really going on here. From there he was placed into a special ed class at the same school and once we did that we eliminated my fear of being expelled and he liked the teacher. His undiagnosed ODD was misunderstood by main stream teachers who are in the "No child left behind" program and they couldnt find the time to give 1 on 1 attention that he needs and got frustrated. It really effects their self esteem and my boy began to put on this "tuff guy" attitude around it bit deep inside he it made him sad he didnt like being known as the "bad kid" in class that got the boot.
Have you looked into a different classroom setting for your child @ their school yet? Its the only place Ive been able to have 4 teachers to 8 kids and he is improving scholastically & socially since being in there. We still have the blow ups but the stigma of being the only bad kid in class is gone and he is learning to be aware of how his behavior effects others. My psych has yet to mention the meds your child is taking or Focaline. It sounds like you aren't happy with the current meds and are looking for something else? something to add for the day time? I am curious as to what meds are out there since the blow ups as of late have made me ask myself if he needs meds during the school year to be calm in class.
Oh god and the charts! Ive realized that they work for only so long (at school) and I have a hard time with keeping consistent on them.
Kim - posted on 02/21/2010
Hia Debbie, thanx for that information, I am in the middle of writing a letter to my sons psych, I was going to mention Chlonidine as I have read a lot of cases studies where this medication has realy calmed a lot of children with ODD down and I need something different as my son, now 10yrs is becoming such a worry ro should I say much more of a worry. At present he is taking Methylphenidate 4xdaily totalling 80mgs per day plus respiradone at night and although it helps him sleep it is doing nothing for anything else. He is on his 3rd primary school, which is not good and if they don't keep him on after his 3mth trial, the option I am then left with is home schooling where he is only entitled to 5hrs tuition per week which is ridiculous. We also live by charts......food charts/ behaviour charts/ reward charts/ chore charts etc but even then things tend to turn MANIC..............thank you x
Debbie - posted on 02/19/2010
I just wanted to say again that my son takes meds, Focaline for his ADHD/ODD. Someone said their is no medication for ODD, however there is a dramatical difference in the ODD when he takes this medication. When he is on it he is respectful, sweet and all violent tendencies disappear! Just in case that helps anyone!!
Debbie - posted on 02/19/2010
Hi Tina! I am a single mom of two. My 6 year old son has adhd/odd. It can feel very alone out there...I know. I was a teacher of 10 years and had to finally quit...alot having to do with my son's behavior on top of my own ADHD and there not being the understanding at work of what I have gone through daily with my son since the day he was born. I had record what my son sounded like at night just to get help with sleeping at about age 2, with the pediatrician when they finally told me about melatonin. Now my son is in kindergarten and on medication. The meds are the only thing that ever worked for him. Diet...forget it...there are maybe ten things he'll eat and with the ODD he would actually starve himself to death, I believe before eating something he didn't like and try yet. Not every mom has the time to hold down there child in a time out, because otherwise they are laying on the floor kicking the walls, the door or you. Not to mention the moment they are let out of that time out they would do something else to get put there.....because you have to be consistent. I do believe in all that but it doesn't work for everyone. I know both sides, teacher and mom. I am certified in mentally handicapped, learning disabilities and elementary ed. My son still drinks from sippy cups because it is the only way to get meds into him.....others think, "why haven't you taken those away yet??? LOL I think the best thing I can tell you is to pick your battles and do the best you can do in your own situation.
Marlaina - posted on 02/05/2010
I have a 10 year old son who has ODD. We got his diagnosis 2 years ago when he was being evaluated for ADD & ADHD. I went thru 6 months of major fits and such anger directed at me (the opposition) and when his outbursts in school became so disruptive I finally got help from his school. They put us in with a psychiatrist and he initially was just looking at the ADD & ADHD. He hit the mark 2 out of 10 times and I knew there was something else going on but I didnt know what. Luckily a good friend googled away and found articles on ODD. I took the info to the psychiatrist and he agreed this was worth looking into. He did another 6 weeks evaluation for ODD and then I got my diagnosis ODD with ADD tendencies. (I guess they are linked together a lot )once I got the diagnosis i felt a huge sense of relief that I finally knew what I was dealing with.
The great part was the psychiatrist said to me that after diving into the ODD material that he had a few kids in mind that he wanted to evaluate again because he felt he misdiagnosed ADD only for kids who probably had ODD. Apparently their medication wasnt working for them and that was probably why.
There is no medication for ODD yet. I have gone the natural route with Chiropractic care that includes Cranial Sacral work, a low gluten diet(watch the wheat,sugar & colored drinks especially with red coloring) and daily supplements containing EFA's (essential Fatty Acids = Omega 3,6 & 9)and a chamomile homeopathic to calm him. Though it is not a CURE it helps the bumps in his emotional road to be a little smoother so the fits are less frequent and his demeanor is 90% of the time on an even keel. Im on the hunt for a cure too so if anyone in the UK knows of one please tell me. The US is notorious for stopping break through medicine if it isn't going to make a pharmaceutical company a tone of $$.
Kim - posted on 02/02/2010
Hia, my son is 10yrs old, he has combined ADHD, ODD and many other problems, I have known he has had ADHD since he was 2yrs old, he just didn't do what my others did, no respect, running off to find adventures etc etc. I have been trying to get help for him for the past 8yrs. Last y7r he had a 3mth assessment at Alder heys Childrens Hospital, things were recommended but reting to get the label removed from me, that I was a bad parent always got in the way. Anyway, because of my brilliant Solicitor, I now have my son statemented, he is an out of County special school, he now has respite and also sessional workers. I must say though it is early days yet and his meds have just been increased to Ritalin 4x per day, in total 80mgs and an antipyschotic drug at night. Getting ther help you and your son is a nightmare but persevere with it and you'll win in the end. Good luck -x-
Dana - posted on 02/01/2010
yes i have made chore list in her room....help her label where to organize in her room..and u just have to remind them constantly....and be like a tape recorder...to help them keep track...of everything
Dana - posted on 02/01/2010
yes,, my 8 yr.old dauther has that and a.d.d. as well...its definately an emotional ongoing rollar coaster...but u just cant ever give up on them...just do the best as you can as a parent, take them to counseling....and just go from there...its a never ending battle....thats for sure!
Beckie - posted on 12/14/2009
It's the hardest thing in my house. With my 10 year old daughter starting to hit puberty and with her ADHD that in and of itself is a lot. Aaron is 8 and he has ADHD & ODD I am only free to breath when they are in school and when they are in bed asleep. Def. tough but on here everyone really understands.
Trina - posted on 11/11/2009
I have a 12 yr old stepson with adhd and odd and let me tell you everyday has its trying times. My husband and I really try to pick our battles with him. I wish there was some advice I could give to help but thats what I'm here looking for also. I really love that there are so many willing to offer advice and sometimes its just nice to know that there are others who feel the same way you do.
Vicki - posted on 09/22/2009
I have a 15 yr. old girl with ad/hd & odd. I tease her that she had better get some better initials behind her name! (PHD would be nice! LOL) I can tell you that it soes get better with age, just stay with the positeve reeinforcement techniques. They don't really want to make you mad, it's just a chemical response. My daughter really tries now, where she didn't before. So, lay the groundwork and you can get through it!!
Elisabeth - posted on 06/25/2009
I have an 8.5 year old with ADHD, ODD, and BiPolar.
Sylvie - posted on 02/18/2009
hi Tina, i have 2 children with ODD, one 7 and the other 5 1/2, u are not alone out there, and i know how challenging it can be. How old is your child? i must say that it's nice to finally meet some people out there who can relate with me on this topic, i would like to chat some more if u are interested...
Jenn - posted on 02/11/2009
I have 2 ... My son who is 7 and my daughter who is 4. My son has gotten a lot better with it. Just stay consistant with punishment and rewards. ... my daughter now is a completely different story she is driving me nuts. I tell her to stop doing something and she looks right at me and does it anyhow. I think the key is to just keep doing things the same way and being consistant with punishment AND rewards. I have a reward box for my kids. Also I have chore charts if they get so many stickers in a week they get from the reward box. If you have a Target I get the things out of the $1 spot at the front of the store. Limit sugar intake it helps a lot. Good luck and know that you are not alone!