Hi there to you all

Kassandra - posted on 07/19/2009

Hi to all the wonderful mums!
I am a 27Yo mum to 2 year old twins i have had PND since their birth and while i am 100% better than i was in the first 12 months I am nowhere near feeling 100%. My pregnancy went really well and it was a planned preganancy (apart from the twin side of things) they are the only twins ever in our family and they were naturally concieved. Things went pear shaped the moment MY first born arrived via an emergency c-section(they were only four weeks early) I did not feel the overwhelming sense of love i had expected and i only cried with (supposed)happiness because i thought that is what i should do then after Charlotte was born i was so out of it i donot remember ANYTHING it was another 12-15 hours before i even saw them i had no contact whatsoever until then and even then i felt nothing. We spent two weeks in hospital and i was unable to breastfeed and their was four days in which i had No sleep at all they were not in my room so i never had the chance to sooth them in betwen feeds if they wer upset i literally saw them when they needed feeding i knew i had PND from about one week in and i did not say anything this pattern continued for the first 12 mths the first 5 being the worst i felt suicidal and there was one day i came so close to doing it but the thought of the babies being alone until my husband came home stopped me i could no work out the timing of it all.so i did not do it that was at 5 mths and that was the first time i got a little help in terms of having someone come to talk to me. My husband did not even know what was going on. I was so paranoid about everyone i was lonely but hated when people came around so i would go to my room and stay there until they left. At 12 mths my husband and i had a massive fight which led to my breakdown i spent the next six months on pills and with a Pscyhologist which helped me identify alot of my issues and how to deal with them. I am no longer on the pills and using the techniques i learnt , my relationship with my husband has crumbled but we r still together. I would love to have another baby but he does not which upsets me because the memories of the first 5 months are dark and blurry. i would love another oppurtunity to experience it all the way it should be filled with love and happy memories.
This is my story it is not over and i dont think i will ever be the same person ever again.
I wish all you mums out there all the love and support we deserve and to take one day at a time.

Rachel - posted on 07/07/2009

jus reading posts on here has anyone been on pills for pnd ?

Hayley - posted on 04/28/2009

Hi Girls,

I am new here and have a 9 month old daughter. I have suffered from depression for many years now, but once I fell pregant I improved ten fold. It has only been the past few months that I have noticed that I am constatly frustrated and tired. And although I would never hurt my daughter I sometime feel like smacking her of the stupidest of things. I have been on and off medication for my previous depression but I really don't want to go back on medication to make me feel "normal" or happy. But on the other hand do i really want to risk the wellfair of my child?

Amanda - posted on 03/24/2009

hi there ladies... i made this group because i myself have pnd. my son will be 2 in may.. i find every day a struggle. i keep on being offered pills but refuse them. i know they dont work, they just supress your feelings and many people i know have been on them for years. i noticed myself that i had pnd not the doctors.. the health visitors were great to talk to but talking never truely helped me. i told my family and my partner and they were all really supportive but it didn' t help much either, just made me feel even worse.. my partner didn't understand allthough he tried his best to. he got down about not knowing what to do and said some pretty hurtful things to me about it, but i know he cant handle me like this. so eventually i just shut down and never spoke about it. im still with my partner but we are now like strangers which is sad because the love is still there. i feel like leaving him because our situation is getting worse... we dont talk, we argue and say some nasty things, i feel like he is putting me down all the time for no reason! but part of me thinks maybe i am just soo down and stressed that i am just over sensitive. any way i hope this group is helpful for you all xxx and i am sorry i haven't been in touch as much as i should be xx

Linda - posted on 02/12/2009

hey Melissa yea Im okay at the moment I guess besides from being really tired. Thanx for the offer of letting me talk to you if I need to. I 1st got told I had PND when my 3 year old was round 5mths but I was depressed when I was pregnant with her. But was told by a dr that what I was feeling was normal. mmmm lol not sure what she had to eat for breakfast that day lol.

Melissa - posted on 02/12/2009

Hi Linda, How are you?

I have a three year old boy who is the light of my life. I suffered with post-natal depression and I am in fact still three years later being treated for it.

When my son was just nine months old my husband and I separated and I will admit that it was one of the hardest things I have ever been through. For myself, all got better with time. Our divorce actually went through last year but I am now a happy and confidant mother (most of the time). I do still have my down days but I just tell myself that even people without depression have rough days too. Each morning is a new begining!

Feel free to contact me any time (even if it's just because your lonely)!!

-Melissa Sorgiovanni