HELP ME!! LOSING MY MIND

Jasmine - posted on 05/09/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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i really need some advice, im 20 years old and have a 4 month old baby girl called Ava-Rose, her father and i had a brilliant relationship until he started steroids, i then fell pregnant ( had pelvic imflammation and was on antibiotics) and he pressured me into the idea of an abortion, which i thankfully decided not to do, when id ecided not to he turned very nasty calling me crazy and telling me he didnt want anything to do with both of us! which i was happy about and decided to go forward as a single mum, he then contacted me when i was 16 weeks pregnant and said hed changed his mind, we went to my 20 week scan together and decided to try again then a few things come to light that he had slept and been seeing his friend who i had always had suspicions about when we had broken up and whilst we were 'seeing eachother' he was still meeting up with her, i was heartbroken but stupidly gave him another chance, when i was 26 weeks pregnant following a few rows about him being selfish and uncooperative and helpful for me when i was pregnant ( we lived together but he would go out all the time and basically treat the place as a hotel) he then waited until i went to see my family for the weekend and cleared the flat out, took the pram, nappies blinds off the wall anything he had brought for the home of our child, he then was abusive in messages to me so i changed my number and blocked him so he couldnt speak to me, he got into a relaitonship with a girl two weeks later who had a two year old , 6 weeks later he was trying to contact my friends to contact me because he was missing the fact he didnt see the bump and had missed out on things and he still loved me, we met up when i was 8 months pregnant so he could see the bump and he told me he still loved me again, we decided to take things extremely slow to try and build a relationship for ava, things were okay but when he found out ava was having my surname due to his lack of input and want in the pregnancy he turned nasty abusive and wanted a dna, by this time during my preganncy his stress had made me go into hospital due to her heartbeat dropping, pass out randomly due to the stress, i then called it a day. when ava was due ( she went over 8 days) he text me every day to see if she was here despite me telling him on new years eve to leave me alone! she was due 3rd january, she was then born 11th january he came to the hospital after she was born and he text me that night saying how he relaised everything how he acted he wasnt nice and ava made him relaise and he would support me 110%, wanting the idea of a family i again gave him another chance, but still only got 60% ( we decided not to move in until things were solid but he still went gym saw me on designated two days and went out with his mates to get pissed every friday) mark broke up with me 3 1/2 months after ava was born whilst i was house sitting his whilst he was in ireland, he sent me a text to finish with me at 10:30 pm and told me to pack all my stuff and avas, which i did but i got my own transport home, he said i had been manipulating his parents against him even tho it was his parents who had recognised the way he was acting and acted on there own opinion, since we have broke up againhe is nasty doesnt talk to me nice, i found out and have seen evidence the whole time we got back together he was giving other single mums his numbers, doing drugs and denying it and has also wrote off his car due to drink drug driving, no one knows all this except me, his mum probably thinks he got into a car accident, he comes over twice a week and has already messed up and not adhered to the plans, he is so nasty to me and abusive, calls me a nutjob, keeps asking to have my daughter on his own at his mums house which obviously due to the previoius circumstances im not happy with , his mum has decorated a room for ava, this is all too much i already constantly feel anxious people are going to take her away, no one on his side of the family wanted her or supported me when i was pregnant, i tried to arrange two days a week at my parensts so he could see her but hes not happy with that! as he doesnt like my parents, im getting so stressed i keep feeling like im going to have a panic attack, im constantly anxious and getting very angry and hateful towards everyone and feel like i cant trrust no one! help what can i do? he ruined my whole pregnancy i wish he would just let me be and let me enjoy my little girl

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Jasmine - posted on 05/09/2012

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Thanks, I can't afford court but may go to legal aid will they help me.. in time I will leave my daughter but at the moment I hate leaving her.

Louise - posted on 05/09/2012

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Take the swine to court and get supervised visits due to his drug taking and abusive behaviour. As for the grandmother she can see Ava there as well until she has earned your trust. Id ont believe his mum would cause you any problems as she has obviously accepted the baby if she has decorated a room for her. Give her a chance. The father on the other hand is a prat. Take him to court get what is owed to you and cut him out of your life as best you can. He has wasted a lot of your time and soured your relationship with your baby. Time to get rid of the jerk and get on with your life.

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