Angelina - posted on 02/05/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )
I just dropped Kiana off at EEE, she goes 2 mornings a week and it has been great for her! I had a conversatioin with a teacher who wanted to schedule an evaluation for her. So in our conversation she said that the test needed to be done to determine if Kiana qualifed for the program she was enrolled automaticlly because of her involvement in Family Infant Toddler program which she was enrolled in as an infant because of development delays these delays were motor skills. The teacher says Kiana needs a 40% delay which she is sure she has. Now she is walking and running, she is weak at times and requires being carried at times because she tires easy but the 40% delay she was talking about was her cognative skills. I keep feeling like she is doing so well, her speach has been slow to come but I feel like she understands me. In my mind I have been working with her and working with her you know with theropies and activities that will allow her to thrive and I feel like she is. I stay at home because I want her secure I adopted her and she had failure to thrive and reactive attachment disorder and Epilepsy on top of all that. I am sure that if she had been left with her birth family she would have never thrived and I know she wouldn't have been where she is.
I walked out of the school and got in the jeep and started crying, because I realized that the fact is my beautiful baby girl has a very hard road a head of her. I have tried to keep in my mind that her delays were due to her Epilepsy, her failure to thrive and her reactive attachment disorder. So I in addressing the isssues she had emotionally and getting her seizures under control was going to cure the rest but I guess maybe that's not the case. I get very upset when people say will she be normal. Because I see her as normal but what I feel bad because I realized that I did have some idea of what normal should be and now I feel like a bad mom ! Dont get me wrong I love my baby with all my heart but I wanted some day for my life to be normal again and I guess that may never happen !