3 1/2 year old with cp to be ring bearer

Amber - posted on 12/26/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My son has spastic diplegia, mainly affecting his legs. He uses a wheelchair for main mobility, and can use a walker for very short distances with the help of somebody standing over him making sure he does not get his legs stuck in the criss cross position. His dad and I are going to be getting married soon, and I wanted our son to be the ring bearer since his is our oldest son. We have another son that is 1 1/2. My question is, do you think we should have our son walk in his walker? only problem with this idea is that, if he gets in front of people, he may stop because he gets shy. Or should we let him be in his wheelchair? Maybe his little brother can push him? Or maybe the flower girl can push him, which would be one of our nieces. I would love for our son to feel like he is a part of our wedding.

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Brandi - posted on 01/03/2013

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My suggestion would be to ask him what he feels most comfortable with. I know that my 3.5 year old has no issues expressing his feelings. Make it his choice allows him the ability to have some say into your families special day.

Garen - posted on 01/03/2013

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I have cp. I'm now 38, a mother of two beautiful children, and an attorney with a solo practice. One of my proudest childhood moments was being the flower girl in my Aunt's wedding when I was 5. I had started walking unassisted (mostly) just before the wedding. It was an outdoor wedding with a very long aisle. I walked down with the help of my mom (the matron of honor). It took a while but everyone was wonderful and patient. I had a full length dress to cover my braces and boots. Much later, I attended a prom with a friend who, like your son, mostly used his wheelchair but occasionally a walker. He was very excited and proud to enter the prom using his walker. It was wonderful. His classmates cheered! For most of the prom he used his chair. Anyhow, my point is this...do whatever will make you and your son feel most comfortable and allow you to enjoy the day. Hopefully this will be the first of many wonderful memories and proud moments for you and your son!

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Amber - posted on 01/05/2013

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Diane,
Are you being serious? I am a little offended. You feel "really really sorry for this lad"? I am not saying in anyway that it is his job to be the ring bearer. He would enjoy to be a part of his mother and father getting married. Why would you even go there? You make it seem as if I am slaving my child to be a part of this, and trust me, that is something far from what is actually taking place. If you can't respond anything nice or helpful, don't post anything at all.

Christine - posted on 01/05/2013

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If it is more comfortable for your son to be in the wheelchair, then that would probably be best. You want everyone to be comfortable and have fun. Could you have one of the bridesmaids or groomsmen push him so an adult can do the job?

Diane - posted on 01/05/2013

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You like putting stress on this kid, don't you? Just kidding. Really, why don't you sit down and make a list of do's and dont's for this little boy having to do this. It makes you feel all nice and sweet. Will it make him feel that way? Have you talked it up to the point that if someone else does it he will feel horrible? It's not a child's job to make a wedding wonderful, and I feel really really sorry for the little lad. And no, I wouldn't have him use the walker. What if it didn't work, and he remembered screwing up for the rest of his life? God almighty, what's the reason we use little children for adult jobs anyway? Sheesh.

Erin - posted on 12/27/2012

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My baby girl has cp and we are gonna let my son (the ring bearer) push her down the aisle in her wheelchair.

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