I need to vent!!!

Nina - posted on 08/03/2011

3 years ago I went through the same thing. I had a 5 and a 2 year old and my husband was out of work. Usually we have a great relationship but being unemployed really screwed with his self esteem. It also put tremendous stress on him as he is the sole provider of the family. We fought all the time. It all came to a head 1 day when I caught him looking at inappropriate content on the computer. What came out in the fight that ensued was all the feelings and needs we each had that weren't being expressed or met. We took turns talking and listening and agreed to work on being there for each other in the specific ways that we needed. For example, he has the time, let him take the kids to the park for an afternoon so you can have a nice long rest. When they get home, put the kids down for a nap and the 2 of you can make love. Men respond well to rewards! It also helps to make a big deal over the things he does that help or please you. He's probably feeling pretty ineffective and useless right now so positive reinforcement is key. Also sex is not only a stress reliever but gives him something he can feel powerful and in control of.
I hope something I've said helps. It will get better. Oh and the next time he drops the "I only married you cuz you were pregers" bit, I'd tell him this... The point is you married me. So start showing me the respect I deserve as your wife and the mother of your children or leave. Either way, this is the LAST time I ever want to hear that come out of your mouth. It is disrespectful and unacceptable. You made a choice now live with it!
But that's just me. Good luck and stay strong!

Tina - posted on 02/19/2011

my ex was like that but i'm pretty sure it was because of the medication he was on. Now I'm on the otherside with a baby and one on the way the days are very long and when i think i finally get a chance to rest it's the same partner just wants sex. Sometimes without being nasty they need to be reminded that words hurt. If it's possible it probably is a good idea to get someone to watch the kids even if it's only for an hour or so. So you can get out and wind down and maybe find the thing that attracted you to one another in the first place. It doesn't have to be any where fancy or expensive even just a picnic or something simple where you can get away. It's also good to get some me time if it's possible. You also need to find a way to sit down and talk with eachother calmly. And both be able to admit when you're wrong and say sorry. It's easy to get worked up over the smallest things when you think about it later it's really not worth it.

Jamie Lee - posted on 06/15/2010

I wish my hubby thought about sex more.... He never wants to touch me. he likes to cuddle and talk. (which is okay sometimes) Sometimes I wish we could have sex more often (usually only once a month) it makes me feel inadaeqite as a woman and unatractive as his wife.... Maybe not sex all the time but at least once everyonther day would be nice. LOL. He makes excuses all the time... hunny I'm tired.... hunny my back hurts.... babe i'm not really in the mood.... The kids aren't alseep yet they may come in.... WTH.... I just want a little more affection and romance. I take it out on my hubby alot because I am sexually frustrated. He doesn't cheat on me either... he just sincerly doesn't like sex that often. And beleive me I have tried everything from sex photos on his computer to fantasy, to dressing up, toys, creams, gels, and nothing works.... not from lack of trying.... I feel like the man in the relationship.... Maybe there is just something wrong with me.... Am I the only one out here that feel like this in this situation?

Tammy - posted on 05/05/2010

Oh girls, I'm so sorry. But can I say I've been there and I survived? My BEST advice is GET A BABYSITTER. We never did becase it was SO expensive but maybe you can find friends you can trade with.

On a side note: if hubby is interested in working:

http://oligogetters.ilovesuccess.net/

Rabaab - posted on 05/07/2009

hi, yeah i am going through the same thing, i mean my husband is always thinking about SEX too, so you are not the only one.. I mean when my son was born my eldest was just the same, wanting to be a baby again and that is only because they are not any more. it will get better..

Erinn - posted on 04/24/2009

Ya I hear ya!! Unfortunately its a little more difficult with 2 little ones! Once I started getting my son to sleep through the night I thought I had it made, but then I went and got pregnant again haha. I love my daughter sooo much, but she can be such a monster sometimes!! She's either eating or screaming! I'm just hoping its a faze she's going through, but I guess we'll see!

Sarah - posted on 04/24/2009

It's nice to be able to vent on here because you get to hear feedback from other girls going through the same thing; and we all are. My little 15 month old is happy half the day, but then is a total monster for the other part. Sometimes I can NOT wait until bedtime. I hope you are feeling better today!