Evie - posted on 02/04/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )
i am 19 years old. 25 weeks pregnant. engaged to a soldier.
we moved in together before i got pregnant and everything was fine. but lately he's been very short with me and very hurtful. he'll come home and see dirty dishes and he'll yell at me for it telling me im a lazy B**** that i need to grow up and when he stops with that he'll tell me he wants me out of the house, that he cannot stand me because i dont do anything that i need to go back home with my mom because he's tired of me. he'll put me down and then after i cry and his temper goes down he acts as if nothing ever happened. and he'll ask me why im pounting. today he said he needed to remind himself to come home to me, i asked why and he said because he didnt want to come home to me anymore. its very hurtful. i grew up without a father, and i have daddy issues and abandonment issues. he grew up without a father because his mother never let them see each other and she would brain wash him to believe his father was bad.
At 18 i aborted my first baby ( i dont need religious drama over this or any antichice prolife opinions) i know he was excited but i wasnt ready, i got pregnant again with this baby two months later...but thats a different story.i was stupid and irresponsible.
we were fighting once and he threw it in my face that i killed his baby, when at the time he told me he would support me through everything.
He's been married before to a woman who constantly cheated on him and was on drugs, she would use him for his money and his military status. now he tells me that he wont deal with me because im just like her, that if i keep up the way i am he will make me buy everything for myself, and if he does leave me that he's going to take me to court for my baby and fight me for every right because i have said in the past i didnt want children. he says he'll never let me see it and i'll get to have the life i wanted. he just turned 26, and has two college degrees. when i met him i was in college, and i havent continued for reasons that are unrelated to this.
truth is im becoming miserable being pregnant and being with him, but i dont want to leave because i want my child to have parents like i never did. i should be happy and im not. at this point i can feel it moving and i resent it when he gets me like this because feeling it kick makes me so sad. i know i have to work at making things better, i do work around the house but he just doesnt see it. he'll come home and see me sleeping and wake me up and it there is something out of place say the laundry i just did on the couch he'll flip out on me and tell me he's leaving me. we've been together since march of 2010. sometimes i think maybe its the stress of becoming a father or something but he doesnt need to be verbally abusive toward me like that. i dont know what to do. i feel like leaving but i dont want my child taken away from me, he didnt get to get attached to it for nine months, he wasnt the one knowing what it liked me eating, or when it liked to be awake and kicking. i also dont want him to not take me back if all we need is a break from each other. i dont know what to do anymore.