Attachment parenting and sleeping

CA - posted on 04/04/2011

I'm gonna repeat what others before me have said - wow, I could have written that!! Haha, honestly the best thing in the world is to just not feel alone with these types of situations.

Aaanyway. I don't really have too much advice, as I am in the same boat, just trying to figure it all out. One thing that has been somewhat helpful is sidecar-ing her crib. That way I can still night nurse, but she also has her own space. That might help you get a bit more sleep.

I also agree with others though that she may be going through a developmental change. Our dd has had some verrrrry bad nights of sleep the past few weeks, and she just started crawling yesterday (yay!!) and then slept way better last night. Maybe she was just exhausted from all the exercise haha.

Hang in there mama, you're doing great! And you're not alone! :)

CA - posted on 04/04/2011

I'm gonna repeat what others before me have said - wow, I could have written that!! Haha, honestly the best thing in the world is to just not feel alone with these types of situations.
Aaanyway. I don't really have too much advice, as I am in the same boat, just trying to figure it all out. One thing that has been somewhat helpful is sidecar-ing her crib. That way I can still night nurse, but she also has her own space. That might help you get a bit more sleep.
I also agree with others though that she may be going through a developmental change. Our dd has had some verrrrry bad nights of slept past few weeks, and she just started crawling yesterday (yay!!) and then slept way better last night. Maybe she was just exhausted from all the exercise haha.
Hang in there mama, you're doing great! And you're not alone! :)

Jasmine - posted on 09/11/2009

If Eli (5 mths) has a run of bad nights i sometimes get my husband to get up and rock him to sleep. I think he gets used to night feeds to get him back to sleep and it becomes a habit. I find this helps him to sleep longer because for him BF seems to be a comfort rather than because he is hungry! Only works on WE's though when hubby doesnt have to work the next day :)

Melissa - posted on 06/13/2009

I liked your post Kyile I know my lttle guy is very close in age with yours and has such similar behavior/ personalities.. Like extrememly happy and so on especially when you were speaking of bed time with attempting to co - sleep He does the same was squirms, constantly wakes he only gets good sleep in his own crib last night I did not atempt co sleep at all and he slapt from 10pm-4:00am then 4:30- 10:00 am it was nice lol. I think some babies just like having there space and I believe you are right co-sleeping is only the answer if it is working for you.

Kylie - posted on 05/03/2009

I've had trouble co-sleeping with second baby and it's exhausting. I put him to bed in his crib at bedtime and he sleeps for 4-5 hours then when he wakes i bring him to bed with me for a feed. He doesn't sleep well that well in our big bed, he goes down for about an hour and then is moving around grunting, kicking and refusing the boob. So i have to get up, rock him back to sleep and lay down with him again ..this happens from 12pm- 6 am and is very exhausting. He usually ends up back in his crib for the last hour or so. I find it a little upsetting as my first child loved to co-sleep and she probably woke up every 2-3 hours in the night but she would just reach out for the boob latch on and go straight back to sleep in a matter of minuets so i never felt like i was waking and losing sleep. At about 12 months she was using my nipple as a passifer and if i tried to pop her off she would scream the house down. I had to start wearing bras to bed so that we could all sleep better. I feel co-sleeping is only really beneficial if its helping the family get more sleep. if you baby is waking you up and you cannot fall back to sleep maybe she and you would sleep better if she was in her own space. You could try it and see if shes less wakeful. Last week my little guy was a bit sick and up every 1-2 hours only wanting to sleep on me while i was standing up. I was very worried i had started something buy having him sleep on me in his carrier during the day but last night and the night before i bathed him in lavender and chamomile baby wash and moisturizer, put an oil heater in his room on low, wrapped him up and he slept from 7-12 then 1 -6.30 in his own crib. It just shows baby sleep changes all the time, hang in there, it gets better.

Stacey - posted on 05/02/2009

I usually put my LO down for bed in his crib at night and when he wakes up for the first time, if it's before midnight, I put him back in his crib, after midnight, he comes to bed with us. I have a bit of a hard time getting back to sleep after he wakes up if he's in bed with us, but I get enough sleep so that's all that matters. She could be teething and that's what's waking her up at night.

Kathy - posted on 03/25/2009

oooh, good to know about the clove oil for teething. do you actually sit up to feed your darling, or do you feed her lying down? i can imagine getting up would be exhausting. i just pop my baby Jonah onto a differant breast each time he wakes up in the night. i feed him lying down. we both hardly awaken, and both go back to sleep most times. being tired is not good and no fun. i was sleep-deprived with my first son. in hindsight i can see that i should have not excercised as much, eaten richer, fattier food ( for a richer milk), and to have rested at every opportunity, gone to bed with him at night instead of staying up late. good luck.

Emily - posted on 03/23/2009

It sounds to me like she may be going through a developmental milestone too... is she learning to crawl? Teething is also a major issue in our house and causes most of the night wakings. We've found that clove oil works best with our kids (2-3 drops clove oil diluted in olive oil), but we've also heard awesome things about Hyland's Teething Tablets. Basically, when my baby (now 15 months) wakes in the middle of the night, I offer the clove oil first, then a water bottle, and finally nursing. Sometimes she'll just flop over and go back to sleep after the clove oil, sometimes she curls up with the water bottle after taking a drink, and sometimes she refuses to go back to sleep without nursing. BTW, she's currently in a side-carred crib. We turned the crib into a toddler bed, and squished it between our bed and the wall, we even lowered the mattress because she's getting bigger. She really likes to have her own bed, and we get the space we need to sleep. I'm also a super light sleeper and have had sleep issues my whole life. I've found it's much easier for me to fall asleep again if I never had to get up in the first place, which is why co-sleeping with the side-carred crib works best for us. :)

Melanie - posted on 03/20/2009

Oh, and I should clarify that when she goes 2 hours, I consider that a great success! Usually, it's much shorter than that, which is why I can't fall back asleep in between her wakings.

Melanie - posted on 03/20/2009

Hi everyone--I feel like I could've written that too!



My 7.5 month old sleeps in her crib and the weird thing is she actually goes to sleep on her own MOST of the time--at bedtime and for naps. Sometimes I sit in the chair in her room, sometimes not. But it's the night-waking...the most she'll sleep is 2 hours. She was a great sleeper until ~4 months, though, until we travelled for the holidays.



While I'd like to cosleep (and end up doing so some nights), I am an incredibly light sleeper and find that I get very little sleep (as much as I love to cuddle with her). Heck, sometimes I can't even cosleep with my husband! ;) And while I don't mind getting up with her--I know this time is oh-so short--I cannot fall back asleep in between. So I've essentially gone weeks and weeks with no sleep. (As I'm sure you're gathering, I've always had sleep problems, so I am no stranger to sleeplessness...but I'm finding I'm not being a very interactive mom during the day & that's what's starting to concern me--that she's suffering by having a zombie for a mother.)



So, I realize I'm going on and on here...but I'm not sure what to do...I've read Elizabeth Pantley's No-Cry Sleep Solution and am doing just about everything in there including great naps, daytime routine, bedtime routine and the biggest one being that she goes to sleep on her OWN!



I've done less baby-wearing since she's gotten bigger, but am still breastfeeding.



So any thoughts on what to do about the night wakings? I usually only nurse her for several of them and just rock her for others. And sometimes, I can feed her, change her and put her back down and she'll play a little, then...sleep! But then she'll wake again. I seem to tell myself each night a different reason why it's happening--solids...visitors...travelling, etc. Last night I tried to sit by her and pat her while she fussed/called/grunted. Once it became a full-on cry, I buckled and picked her up. (This is the middle-ground method Pantley discusses in her book.) Not sure what I'll try tonight.



Thank you SO much!

Emily - posted on 01/26/2009

I think that's so cute that she is waking you up like that when she needs you!! She *should* be able to sleep longer stretches at her age, but if she's teething, or too distracted to eat during the day, or on the verge of a developmental milestone (like crawling) any of these could be causing more frequent night wakings. Check for teething and try to find a way to soothe her gums during the night, encourage more frequent nursing during the day (try to find a dark, quiet room if you can), and see if that helps. If she's trying to learn to crawl, there's not really anything you can do for that one but just wait it out.

Good luck! My 13 month old is currently cutting 4 new teeth and way too distracted to eat during the day... so she's still up 3-4 times a night with me now. :)

Brie - posted on 01/26/2009

Wow, I could have wrote that! My daughter is almost 6 months old, and she used to only wake up once at night, but for the past 2 weeks, she has started waking up every 2 hours (one night it was every hour!). I feel like I am going to go crazy! I am not getting any sleep, and neither is my daughter. When she wakes me up, she does it by slapping her arm on me until I wake up...but I look at her and her eyes are still closed. I've tried to just let her go back to sleep on her own, but if I do that, she opens her eyes and starts crying. So, I end up having to let her nurse back to sleep.

My doctor told me that she should be able to sleep through the night without needing to eat at this age. I just don't know how to get her back to sleep without nursing :( I am considering trying to get her into her crib, or a bassinet next to our bed.

Gina J - posted on 01/24/2009

My little guy is 26 months old and still doesn't sleep through the night. Although he will go right to sleep for his daycare worker he will only nurse to sleep (and back to sleep) for me. I start off in my own bedroom and my son in his but by the middle of the night we're sleeping together so I can get just a bit of rest. Sorry, I know that this isn't of any help but perhaps we both need to realize that "This too shall pass" and perhaps enjoy this close time with our child as time passes quickly and soon enough they will not want to even kiss or hug us in public let alone sleep in the same room :)

Emily - posted on 12/10/2008

When I was pregnant with #3 we had a hard time fitting everyone in our bed at night, so we pushed a crib up against our bed with one rail missing. It gave us enough space that our then 15 month old started sleeping through the night. When #3 was born, #2 moved to the middle of the bed, #1 moved to her own bed, and the baby took the crib. We moved 2 months later and #1 and #2 each had their own beds, but #3 stayed in the crib. We loved that arrangement. Our older girls are always welcome in our room if they wake in the middle of the night, but their wakings are less and less frequent. We just moved again and didn't bother setting up the crib again. #3 is now 11 months old, and just sleeps on the crib mattress on the floor next to our bed. If she wakes and needs to nurse or something, she'll stand up next to the bed so I can lift her up. We plan to move her to the room with her sisters as soon as I'm confident she'll be able to come down the hall to get me if she needs to.

Brandee - posted on 12/09/2008

My daughter got really scootchy in bed when she hit 3 months, just moving all over the place and then she'd bump into me and say, "hey mom! how bout some booby time?!" And if I would nurse her she would go back to sleep. Then my husband started sleeping on the couch because we would all sleep better when there was one less person in the bed. But I wasn't ok with this. So we had a "Co-sleeping summit" (my husband and I) and decided to put Trixee in her bassinet. She was in our room still, but in her own bed she started only waking 2 times a night versus every couple of hours. It was fabulous. We then moved in with my mother in law and she had a bedroom and a crib set up when we got here. I wasn't sure at first and I did a ton of checking on her and feeling guilty, but once she started sleeping alone she started sleeping through the night too. I love the mornings when she comes into bed with us, but it is great to have sleep in order to help with teething crankiness during the day. I also wonder if we had had a larger bed if we might have co-slept longer, we had a queen. Good luck, you'll make the right decision for you and your baby!

Kristi - posted on 11/24/2008

Hi there - My Natalie co-sleeps and wakes up quite a bit through the night. She is almost 11 mths and has some nights where she only wakes up 2 times and others she wakes up every 2 hours. Natalie will nurse and get a full meal too when she wakes.



What I have found is that sometimes when she wakes I can sit up in bed, hold her and rock her back in forth and she falls back asleep.



Another thing I learned is I go to bed when she goes to bed. I know this may seem impossible (there is so much to do, cleaning, work etc.) but let it go. Just try it for 3 nights straight. Natalie goes to sleep around 8-8:30 and I take my iPod and listen or watch something for about 30 min with her next to me or on my lap and then I go to sleep. That way even if I get up alot through the night I am getting more sleep. It is the best decision I ever made!!! Also if you pray it is a great thing to just say a simple prayer before you go to bed that you and your baby get a good night sleep and wake restful. Hope this helps!

Jenn - posted on 11/23/2008

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. It's just so hard because although I am co sleeping with her, she does have her "own bed" so to speak and isn't right up against me. So I've tried that. I think she's teething now and might be going through a growth spurt, but this has been going on almost three months now. She does go back to sleep right away if I comfort her or nurse her. I think the real problem is I can't get back to sleep right away. So when she wakes me up I'm up for a while. So I"m exhausted only getting an average of 4 hours or so of sleep for the past 3 months. I'm desperate to try almost anything although I want to continue co sleeping with her because I think that's best. I guess someday maybe I'll sleep. I just hope I don't lose my sanity before then!

Heather - posted on 11/21/2008

I think 6 months is still young and waking to nurse would be very natural. Does she fall back to sleep quickly after. Hang in there sister. These times only last for so long.

Samantha - posted on 11/20/2008

Have you started her on cereal? You might want to try giving her a little more cereal right before you nurse her to go to sleep - I found this helped a bit with my daughter. You could also try cuddling her when she wakes up to see if she will fall back asleep - try stretching the amount of time before you nurse her when she wakes up by 5 minutes, then 10 etc. Hope this helps!

Emily - posted on 11/20/2008

In Elizabeth Pantley's "No-Cry Sleep Solution" she explains that everyone wakes up during th night... including adults. The problem is when they require a parent to fall asleep again (this is if they're not really hungry or in pain). There's a great excerpt of her book on her website about this, and great ideas of how to get little ones to sleep longer.
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0...

Enjoy!

Candace - posted on 11/20/2008

Sorry I'm not much help with sleep situations. My 2.5 yr. old didn't start sleeping through the night until he was 18 months old. :(

Emily - posted on 11/20/2008

If she's hitting a growth spurt or teething she might be up more than usual. If it's a growth spurt, you can try to encourage cluster feeding right before bedtime to tank her up, but remember that breastmilk is digested within 90 minutes and she will still have an empty tummy.

If it's teething, you can try keeping some clove oil in a carrier oil (3-4 drops clove oil in 1-2 tsp of something like olive oil) close to the bed at night and rub that on her gums before you nurse her back to sleep.

Also, sometimes just sleeping curled up with you will wake a baby when she can smell your milk. We've pushed a crib/toddler bed up to our bed so our 11 month old has her own "bed" but can still crawl over to me in the middle of the night if she needs to. I can also scoot over to her bed to nurse, but stay lying down. Once the nursing session is over, you can push baby back to her bed, or scoot back to your bed. My 2 1/2 year old finally started sleeping through the night at 15 months once we figured out this arrangement. My 11 month old slept through the night (11 hours!!) from 2 months to 6 months until she hit another growth spurt and started teething again.