Can my 20 month old tell I am having a baby

Stefie - posted on 05/05/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My 20 month old suddenly has become super clingy. I am due with our second daughter any day now!!!
I have tried to prepare her by talking about what is going to happen and that her favorite Aunt will play with her while I am at the hospital. I am afraid this is really getting to her.
Normally she is active and pretty independent. Now she seems to want to cuddle up to me all the time. I don't mind, but she stopped sleeping in her room. I want this to be the best possible experience for her too, but I don't know what to do.

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Kelly - posted on 05/15/2010

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My daughter was 24 months when my second was born and she had a brief clingy period before the baby came. I'm not sure if she really knew what was coming or if it was a normal "phase." She had been sleeping through the night in her own room in her own bed for almost a year and all of a sudden during my last month of pregnancy she was waking in the night and insisting on sleeping in our bed. It only lasted a few weeks and she was back in her bed before the baby came. I had a home birth and my daughter was in and out of the room throughout my labor saying "baby?" and checking in on me. I was surprised how well she handled my moaning. I thought she would have to leave the house but she got to stay and it was great. The baby was born just as she was waking from her nap, so she met her sister minutes after she was born. She was very happy to meet the baby we had been talking about for so long and she is very loving and gentle with her sister 98% of the time. I have been a mother of 2 for 6 weeks now and I don't think I could ask for a smoother transition than what I have experienced. Hazel has adjusted to not having 100% of my attention and has not taken it out on the baby. She just has to be reminded to be gentle every once in a while. I hope things go smoothly for you too, but for now, don't stress about it. Enjoy the extra cuddles and the one-on-one time together. Good luck.

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Joyce - posted on 08/01/2010

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I have 4 kids. My older 3 all went through that. I talked to each one of my kids about they're baby brother or sister. I got them really excited about having a sibling. I had them sleep a my moms house 1 weekend out of the month until baby was born. I let them be clingy and gave them extra attention bc I knew it would be very difficult once baby comes to give the one on one that they want. After baby came, they were okay. I included them in everything. I would read while nursing or have them help me with changing the baby. Like handing me a diaper or a wipe. This time around I have a wrap and it has been a life saver. I can still hold the baby and spend time with my sons. The first few months have always been challenging for everyone. After all we are all getting use to a new little person in our life. Give her lots of attention and love so she knows that everything will be okay.

Charlie - posted on 07/25/2010

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Just really involve her in everything from purchases , decorating , get her a baby doll and practice changing nappies on it and talk a lot about the baby most of all make sure you spend lots of time with her doing things she enjoys .

My son was 20 months when our new little boy was born ( two weeks ago ) and we did all of these things with him , when he came to hospital to visit we had a gift from Harry ( the baby ) to Cooper , when i breastfeed Harry i get Cooper to snuggle in too and give him a cup of breastmilk to drink while i feed Harry and he even helps to bath Harry , i really let him know what a great job he is doing as a big brother when he helps me and tell him how proud of him i am he really understands and i sense that he feels proud too .

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Mine are 19 months apart and my daughter adjusted very well ONCE the new baby was actually here. I always had her give the "baby" (my belly) kisses and she was very understanding when my son came along. I bet it is just her knowing that a new addition is coming and needs a little reassurance that she will still have a place in the family. Good luck and congrats!

Elizabeth - posted on 07/19/2010

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Your child is just incredibly intelligent. She knows that mommy isn't feeling great and that change is coming. What she is doing is absolutely normal. Continued to hold her and reassure her that you are just fine. She wants to know that you are okay. I am going through the same thing. My daughter is 28 months and I still have 4 more months to go before our little boy comes along. She seems to be pretty clingy as well. You are doing a great job and I bet she is excited to meet the baby. My daughter really likes the book "Where did that baby come from?" It is super cute.

April - posted on 05/08/2010

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i don't think she's jealous yet...but very afraid that you might not come back from the hospital. i don't think there is much you can do, except stop talking about it. i think you've prepared her enough and when the time comes you can say "remember what mommy told you about going to the hospital?" but i wouldn't keep reminding her right up to the last minute. i'd just wait until it's REALLY time. hope that helps!!!

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