Ferber vs CIO

Catlin - posted on 01/23/2010

I have no problem with "in arms" crying. I was just pointing out that it's a form of controlled crying. We use it sometimes when baby only wants me but I have to shower, or sometimes just go potty! Baby is only six months though so we still rock and nurse to sleep.

Emily - posted on 01/23/2010

Personally, I do see a difference between "in-arms crying" and CIO. In my mind the difference is in the parents attitude. If the parent is saying "you have to cry because I don't know what else to do and I can't deal with you right now" I think that's a problem. (Though I can also see some times when parents need to put a baby in a safe place and walk away for a minute to take a few deep breaths.) However, if a parent is staying with a child, trying their best to determine what the child needs, and the child still needs to cry, then "in-arms crying" would be preferred.

I also LOVE Elizabeth Pantley's "No-Cry Sleep Solution" and the rest of her "No-Cry" books. They provide so many options and helpful tips so that any family should be able to find a workable gentle solution to their sleep issues. I didn't find her books until my first was 18 months and my second was 6 months, but they were lifesavers then, and they have been immensely helpful with my third who is now 2, as well as my 4 month old twins.

Catlin - posted on 01/23/2010

The main difference between the " in-arms crying" and the CIO method, is that CIO lets your baby cry by themselves, and "in-arms crying" you're there holding them, but they are still crying. The fact being is that "in-arms" crying is still a form of CONTROLLED CRYING! Even, DR. Sears states that "in-arms" crying just means baby isn't CIO alone. I personally don't differentiate , between any of these methods, but if you feel ok doing one of them it's your choice. That is the great thing about being a mommy, you do what works and feels right foe your family!!

Kara - posted on 01/22/2010

I was going to suggest this book as well. The No Cry Sleep Solution by Pantley. ALL mommies, daddies and caregivers should read this book. CIO, Ferber, and the other names given to these types on 'sleep training' techniques are a result of parents not knowing what else to do. Read this book or something like it and do your whole family a huge favor. It has brought blessings into our lives at the 'dreaded' night-times.

Erynne - posted on 01/20/2010

Honestly, I can't recommend ANY kind of "controlled" crying with infants or small children. They lack the brain chemistry to calm themselves down. IF they stop crying and fall asleep, it's not generally because they calmed down; it's because they reached a state of exhaustion from the extreme physical and emotional effort they were putting forth in crying and calling for someone to come help them.

If I were bedridden, and I called out to my husband because I was in pain (or had soiled myself, or I was hungry, or I'd had a nightmare and just wanted to be held) and he told me he'd check on me in five minutes, that would damage our relationship. Especially if when he came in, he just patted my shoulder for a couple minutes until I stopped sobbing and then walked back out.

Controlled crying or CIO are NOT conducive to a happy, healthy child, and most certainly can't be good for your relationship with your child.

If you are at your wits' end with your infant or young child, PLEASE read "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley.

- E

Amy - posted on 01/18/2010

I tried the ferber method and couldn't do it for more than 3 or 4 minutes at a time. How can we get these babies to sleep???? HELP

Christy - posted on 12/21/2009

thank you so much for the link!



the Sears sleep methods acutally sound exactly like what i had done with my daughter until we got her a big kid bed for her own room. maybe that's why i had an easy time getting her to adjust to her new sleeping situation. after a week of a bit of crying she started sleeping great on her own. also, i keep both of our bedroom doors open after her dad and i go to bed so she knows she can come in and cuddle with us if she wakes up at night (which she does at 5 am almost every morning =) ).



i honestly had no idea that parents would be so cruel as to let their infants cry for hours on end because i had a terrible time even letting my daughter do it for 10-15 minutes. from what i had gathered of Ferber, you aren't supposed to be so extreme about the crying and you're supposed to do other things to ease the transition, like starting out in a chair beside their bed and over the course of a week gradually move toward the door.



i was just horrified that i had been telling people that i use CIO when i found out that it is really associated with just lettin your child scream and scream till the finally fell asleep when that wasn't the case at all =(.

Jamie - posted on 12/20/2009

Here is a link, BTW that compares the two different methods. http://sleep-disorders.suite101.com/arti...

Jamie - posted on 12/20/2009

I guess they can be one in the same. I do not do either, for my own reasons. Basically, Ferber is called "controlled crying" as you are going in to soothe intervals. Because the solution is letting them cry, though I'd assume it's cry-it-out, especially since he instructs you to do it even if they throw up (from what I've read on Dr. Sears site about Ferber's method and heard from other parents. I haven't personally read his thing). Cry it out could also be not going in to soothe them, but either way, I think it's all cry it out. Dr. Sears has a method he calls "cry in arms" where they might be crying, but they also know you are there for them. Does that help?

Casey - posted on 12/20/2009

I don't know the Ferber method what is it?