The Case Against Breastfeeding??

Brenda - posted on 03/24/2009 ( 34 moms have responded )

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I hadn't heard about this but this is a link to write a letter to the editor of where this article was published as well as links to information of the article.



http://org2.democracyinaction.org/o/5162...



I thought I would post it here, because it was on my babyzone breastfeeding board.

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Kim - posted on 01/17/2010

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Perhaps she was writing for a magazine that is trying to retain some sponsorships from formula manufacturers. They must be losing money.

Elle - posted on 01/12/2010

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This author sounds like she does what she thinks she "should" but as she is getting older she is realizing what she wants. It doesnt seem like she didnt really wanted a family all that much, or at least not the family dynamic that she has. She reports that she feels that she has less power than her husband because she is a woman. I think she has less "power" because she was too stuck on what she thought she should do and never did what she wanted to do. Didnt she and her husband ever talk before they got married? When my hubby and I got serious we talked about what we wanted in the future, for ourselves and for our family. I wanted to have kids, stay at home, not work, be a housewife while he wants to work the demanding job. He is a man's man and I'm a girlie girl. Does that up me under my husband? No! We both have what we want and it works very well for us. We are equals in our relationship, we just have different roles.

The author's doesnt really have a breastfeeding problem, BFing was just the last straw for her before she finally stope up about being unhappy wth her life.

The article does bring to light the BF vs FF debate. Which, personally, I didnt even notice there were such strong opinions on until I got pregnant. Even now, nursing a 4 month old, I never rarely hear/ see anything about it except when I am looking. I bf in public and never rarely does anyone say anything or even look twice. Most of my friends are having or have kids. We talk about baby stuff all the time, no one has ever gotten worked up about BFing or FF. We have the whole range of feeders from 100% formula to BFing well into the toddler years and everything in between. I like getting advise from both sides, the BFing stuff is more relavent but it doesnt hurt to know about FF (like if you are using formula that needs mixed with water that differences in the tap water can give baby an upset tummy). Moms comparing baby info is one thing but if someone were preaching the evils of bfing and how great ffing was I would ignore it jut as I ignore every other extremist. Some people have strange reasons for bfing or ffing. The deciding factor for me to bf ws just because I hate the smell for formula. If someone ff because they thing bfing is gross- kinda weird to me but ok, I dont really care. I dont think there should be so many disagreements over BFing vs FFing, either way the child is eating and can thrive- we should get upset about more important things, like starving babies who are eating nothing.

(sorry but I have to throw in this extra rant. This author seems very unhappy having a family to burden her. I wanted children more than anything and struggled for years to finally have one, those years of infertility were incredably painful and expensive. There are many women out there still fighting to have kids. So shut up about how yours are a burden, if you want want to be a mother, dont have kids!)

Danielle - posted on 01/12/2010

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Ok I just finished reading that article and honestly, it sounds like she's very resentful of her child and husband. She says things like breastfeeding means that you can't have equal co-parenting which is 100% PURE BS. My 3 year old STILL breastfeeds and things in this house are fairly equal. Yes I did all of the infant feedings as my little one wouldn't take a bottle but everything else is split pretty evenly. I have not, even once, been expected to be the only one raising our child. Equal co-parenting is most definitely a possibility with breastfeeding.
She also states more than once that breastfeeding basically makes a woman have to stay home and forfeit anything that she may want to do (like her career or going out, etc) which is also not true at all. I know many women that I talk to online who work out of their home and pump for their child at work and their child receives breastmilk exclusively. While I hate pumping, some of these women maintain that they don't mind it and that it isn't an inconvenience for them. Many moms I know would gladly sacrifice anything for their child's needs anyway so the fact that she's so "rawr I can't do what I want" comes off as rather selfish to me. In my eyes, when you have children- they should ALWAYS come first. That's of course just my opinion but I can't see putting your wants before your child's needs.
I am most definitely of the mindset that breast is best and I try not to judge a formula feeding mom as I don't know her reasoning however when formula feeding moms say things to me like "it's gross" (breastfeeding) or tell me that they don't breastfeed PURELY because then they can't do the things they want, yes- I find myself slightly irritated with that person. I've gone out and done things that I wanted plenty of times and left Logan with a relative. I only went out for about 2 hours at a time when he was younger because he refused a bottle but once he got older and was eating solids (which didn't happen til he was 1) I left him more often. We're not talking every day or even every week but I never felt like I couldn't do the things that I wanted to do because of breastfeeding.
I feel sad for her that she feels breastfeeding is such a burden and that her husband is willing to share the parenting role with her as equally as he probably should but that does not mean that's the case for all people and that breastfeeding is bad for your marriage as she so wonderfully also suggested.

Danielle - posted on 01/11/2010

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Quoting Pia:

My son was born in my first year of university, and my milk supply was incredibly low, so I could not pump any extra breastmilk for him to drink while I was in class. My solution was to either take him to class with me and feed him or to have my partner give him a bottle of formula. I got attacked for doing both of these things!
When I took him to class I had one woman ask me to go elsewhere and do it because it was distracting her. I had a blanket covering both my breast and my baby's head so no one would see and I made sure I was sitting up the back of the lecture theatre, but I still received comments and looks.
One time my partner was giving my son a bottle of formula and he was told to tell me that I "was making the wrong choice" for my baby and that if I "was doing things wrong this early on then your son will have a lot of issues". Being a young mother, this did nothing to help my confidence in myself.
I believe breast is best and I loved breastfeeding, I tried so hard to do it, but unfortunately my milk supply was so low that my son was not getting enough food, and he weaned himself at 7 months!
I have nothing against women who bottlefeed, so why is there such judgment for either side! No woman should have to put up with comments questioning their ability to be a mother because of what their baby is being fed. Articles like this just fuel people's misguided opinions. I'm disgusted that someone published it. I'm not sure if this post made any sense because I was so angry about the article! Sorry guys!


Oh I am so sorry you went through this!!! People shouldn't assume they know why you made your decisions.  It's your child and none of their business how you're feeding your little one!!

Kiehrstin - posted on 10/27/2009

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Quoting Erynne:



Quoting Laura:


I guess there is a stigma in the south. In oklahoma most women go straight to formula. I've managed to make it to just under a year with my first two till I dried up (because I was pregnant again both times). I would love to make it past a year this time. People think you are crazy if you nurse in public here because hardly anyone breastfeeds! That's why I do so proudly w/o cover :)





I'm guessing you're another Oklahoma resident? My one truly negative experience BFing in public was at Golden Corral. I was as discreet as possible (wearing a shirt with a tanktop underneath to avoid flashing undue skin, and the baby was latched on well to cover everything) but I still got several dirty looks from an elderly lady sitting nearby. It sort of killed my desire to BF in public. Now, when the baby's hungry, I tend to go sit in the car to feed him. It's better than a restroom, I figure.






- E



 



Thats so sad to me!  I refuse to let ANYONE make me feel bad about nurishing my child reguardless WHERE she happens to be hungry!  She has a right to eat!  I went out of my way the first 3months or so then I said to myself... "this is silly" Why should I feel bad or embarressed!  We are much happier now.  I hope you can get to that point too!  (Florida actually has good laws about BFing Rights) So maybe Im just lucky to have the law on my side!





 

Pia - posted on 10/13/2009

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My son was born in my first year of university, and my milk supply was incredibly low, so I could not pump any extra breastmilk for him to drink while I was in class. My solution was to either take him to class with me and feed him or to have my partner give him a bottle of formula. I got attacked for doing both of these things!

When I took him to class I had one woman ask me to go elsewhere and do it because it was distracting her. I had a blanket covering both my breast and my baby's head so no one would see and I made sure I was sitting up the back of the lecture theatre, but I still received comments and looks.

One time my partner was giving my son a bottle of formula and he was told to tell me that I "was making the wrong choice" for my baby and that if I "was doing things wrong this early on then your son will have a lot of issues". Being a young mother, this did nothing to help my confidence in myself.

I believe breast is best and I loved breastfeeding, I tried so hard to do it, but unfortunately my milk supply was so low that my son was not getting enough food, and he weaned himself at 7 months!

I have nothing against women who bottlefeed, so why is there such judgment for either side! No woman should have to put up with comments questioning their ability to be a mother because of what their baby is being fed. Articles like this just fuel people's misguided opinions. I'm disgusted that someone published it. I'm not sure if this post made any sense because I was so angry about the article! Sorry guys!

[deleted account]

The article made me sick. I love breastfeeding and will continue to do so. No one said being a parent is easy!!! She sounds like it was just too difficult for her to commit to it and she needed something easier. I agree with what some of you said. Her intention may not have been to attack breastfeeding moms, but that's how I took it.

Tiani - posted on 09/24/2009

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I agree with a lot of the replies to this article. I think that like many said, it is the mother's choice what she is going to feed her baby and she shouldn't be judged by that choice. I too found breastfeeding difficult in the beginning but managed to get through it and am so glad that I could. I know lots of moms stop breastfeeding or don't breastfeed at all for lots of different reasons and I wouldn't like to be judged for breastfeeding just as many bottlefeeding mom's wouldn't like to be judged for bottlefeeding. I think all mom's have enough worry and guilt over whether they are doing a good job. More support and less judgement!

Erynne - posted on 09/08/2009

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Quoting Laura:


I guess there is a stigma in the south. In oklahoma most women go straight to formula. I've managed to make it to just under a year with my first two till I dried up (because I was pregnant again both times). I would love to make it past a year this time. People think you are crazy if you nurse in public here because hardly anyone breastfeeds! That's why I do so proudly w/o cover :)


I'm guessing you're another Oklahoma resident? My one truly negative experience BFing in public was at Golden Corral. I was as discreet as possible (wearing a shirt with a tanktop underneath to avoid flashing undue skin, and the baby was latched on well to cover everything) but I still got several dirty looks from an elderly lady sitting nearby. It sort of killed my desire to BF in public. Now, when the baby's hungry, I tend to go sit in the car to feed him. It's better than a restroom, I figure.



- E

Erynne - posted on 09/08/2009

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Quoting Michelle:

I realize that my remarks may strike a nerve with some people. But I urge you to use logic and see the end from the beginning. This could be a harmless debate, but it is not. First think, then act. Know why you do what you do, educate others, and then be prepared to defend your logic if you have to. Do not judge harshly those that make a different choice, remember we are all in the process of learning.


I second everything you said in this. BEAUTIFULLY put. Bravo, honey.

- E

Lacey - posted on 09/08/2009

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I just wanted to throw out there, for any working mothers, or for those who don't believe that breastfeeding mothers can be working mothers as well, that there is a federal house bill, H.R. 2819, which is seeking to amend previous legislature to better support breastfeeding working mothers. It currently has 17 co-sponsors and is still being investigated and debated and researched. If you are interested in learning more about it, search for it at the Library of Congress website.

On a side note, I sincerely don't understand the reason for the great divide between those of us who breast feed and those who bottle feed - aren't we all women? And maybe I'm naive, but I believe that the women's movement was about women supporting women making their own choices. My choice is to breast feed, and I feel strongly about it, but I try not to judge others - I don't know their circumstances or their feelings. But I do try to support them. Women have enough problems with support in communities and workplaces, why do we have to attack each other?

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Ugh, just because this woman resents her children and her husband does not mean every woman should give up breastfeeding for formula. I don't understand why a paper would print something like this. Just because she isn't enjoying feeding her children she feels the need to bash it.... what junk. And Yes she is proformula, antibreastfeeding because she says bfing is placing women below men, it is a badge of inequality and lessens a woman. Ugh, what crap.



I guess there is a stigma in the south. In oklahoma most women go straight to formula. I've managed to make it to just under a year with my first two till I dried up (because I was pregnant again both times). I would love to make it past a year this time. People think you are crazy if you nurse in public here because hardly anyone breastfeeds! That's why I do so proudly w/o cover :)

Esther - posted on 05/26/2009

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Quoting Elizabeth:

I actually loved this article, and think it represented a much needed perspective in the bfing issue. I just used it in a class I taught to balance out the perspective in Milk, Money, and Madness (which is hard core pro-breastfeeding). It seems that people have very different experiences with breastfeeding based on their geographic location and socioeconomic status. Because I am a very educated, white woman living in the mid-Atlantic, I very much identified with her experiences. Without exception, the second question I got asked when I was pregnant after "do you know what it is?" was "and you're going to breastfeed, right?" The pressure was intense, and slipping the baby the occasional bottle of formula practically required a signed note from my LC affirming that yes, I really did have low milk supply. We weaned at 11 months (my choice) and I actually got crap from people for not sticking it out the whole year...

I think her point about the research is that, yes, on balance the research shows-- at the population-level-- a benefit to breastfeeding. However, that does not mean that there is a benefit at the individual-level. That is what is know as an ecological fallacy-- you can not ever say that because something is true for a population of people, it will be true for an individual (we all know that smoking causes lung cancer, but some people can smoke for 70 years and never get it). So while we should be doing all we can to support the women who do want to breastfeed, we shouldn't be making women who don't or can't feel that their babies are going to be sicker, stupider, or less bonded.



I agree. I liked the article too and I too related to it a lot. I hated breastfeeding and after a few weeks (for reasons both medical and personal) I ended up pumping and bottle feeding my son breastmilk. I hated pumping too, but not as much as direct breastfeeding. I stuck it out for 6 months (with one bottle of formula at night) and then my supply had become so low and pumping so difficult to maintain that I stopped. But I couldn't help feel guilty about it. Until I read this article when it first came out. I think the title is meant to be provocative because, as I read it, she's not really making a case against breastfeeding, just saying that it isn't for all and if it isn't for you, it really isn't as big a deal as some people make it out to be.

Sherri - posted on 05/14/2009

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Quoting Laura:

Very interesting. Although I really wonder where the author resides. Here in the southern part of the US, things are a bit different. My son is 10 months old and I am one of the very few moms I know who is still breastfeeding. People in my moms groups openly breastfeed their newborns with pride but somewhere between 3-6 months the bottles start appearing so the pressure sort of goes the other way. By 5 months, the "when are you going to wean" questions start and by 9 months, I started getting some "what the heck are you doing" sort of looks. Personally, I wish that we moms could find a way to be more supportive of each other not matter what our parenting choices.


I also completely agree with you.  I was judged for still breastfeeding also.  I run a daycare and for my birthday one of my parents bought me alcohol because she assumed that I was no longer nursing.  LOL She was 10 months old and I told her I was still feeding her and she was shocked by this. I have had people ask my why I would still nurse?!?!?!? I dont care

[deleted account]

Michelle, totally agree.
I didn't read the article the topic is about yet, but I'm sure I've read many like it.

BF is often demanding work, but my core belief is that its a mother's job to feed her baby as nature intended. I know a lot of women face situations where they truly can't BF, but I've heard things like 'its disgusting', etc. That sort of thing, I feel is so sad and as a mother I truly can't fathom it.
I wonder did they find pregnancy disgusting as well. I just don't get it why some women won't even try.

[deleted account]

I realize that my remarks may strike a nerve with some people. But I urge you to use logic and see the end from the beginning. This could be a harmless debate, but it is not. First think, then act. Know why you do what you do, educate others, and then be prepared to defend your logic if you have to. Do not judge harshly those that make a different choice, remember we are all in the process of learning.



I still think breast IS best. I do not say this lightly. I had low milk supply with my first and I recongnize there are times and situation when formula may be a better option and I try not to judge others who make that choice whether out of necessity or convenience.



Having said that, as a general rule I believe that having a child is a huge responsibility and raising a child is more than just feeding, clothing and sheltering them. There is an element of nuturing and emotionally feeding our children that cannot be ignored.



I believe the family is the basic unit of society and that when the family is diminished in any way, it creates cracks in the fabric of society that are not easily repaired. I believe that sacrificing creates a strong desire to protect that which we have spent our blood, sweat and tears creating. The sacrifices associated with breastfeeding help a mother develop unselfishness and strong character. They create a protective emotion that ensures she will continue to sacrifice for the well being of the child she has brought into this world.



Having seen friends struggle with infertility, the process of adoption seems to have created that same feeling of sacrifice, building of character and unselfishness I am speaking of.



As a specific example, notice the place in the article where the writer seems to shift from "breast is best" to "nothing wrong with formula." She wants to focus on her career and is upset that her husband gets to sleep through the night. In both instances she is focused on what she wants, not the needs of her infant. She is becoming selfish.



She didn't start out to find the truth, she started out with a preconceived notion that she wanted to prove. Put bluntly, she wanted to stop feeling guilty so she looked for "facts" to support her hope that formula feeding is just as good as breastfeeding. Once she found enough "facts" she published an article to seek approval from other people that she is in fact, not selfish. The more people she gets to agree with her, the less guilty she can feel until finally there is no more truth for her than the "facts" she went seeking in the first place.



I do not wish to pit breastfed against bottlefed. We must all sometimes do things, like it or not, because this is real life. But I do feel strongly that if we are physically capable of breastfeeding our children, we should very carefully consider and weigh the cost.



You may not be able to pick a child out of a line that has been breastfed or formula fed, but I do believe we are seeing the family marginalized and anything we can do as individuals to halt that deterioration deserves our attention and efforts.

Stasia - posted on 04/15/2009

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ohhhh i see, thanks for the clarification on the statistics and about "exclusive" feeding. I assumed "exclusive breastfeeding" would be that a child's only "drink" would be breastmilk. But if that is the case then I guess my daughter stopped being an exclusive breastfeeder at 6 months as well because I introduced solid foods.

I think the statistics should take into consideration that children need solid foods before a year and so no child (well MOST children) would not be exclusively breastfed.

If that is how the statistics are based then i would think that they are seriously misleading. My daughter started getting two formula bottles a week when she was eight months old and it was because I am at school during the nights and it was impossible for me to keep up pumping (low supply since she has been sleeping through the night). That being said. We only occasionally give her water from a cup at dinner times and other than that she is breastfed. I think i would still be considered breastfeeding, but according to the proper "definition" i am supplementing.

I am sorry that you had that experience Elizabeth, but I think that so many women work so hard to breastfeed and it has become an "us" and "them" issue. If you don't breastfeed, you are automatically against it.
I know this is ridiculous but it is how many women feel. I do get frustrated when people tell me it "doesn't matter" at an individual level or that it doesn't make much difference because of the difficulty I had in maintaining the breastfeeding relationship I feel almost insulted when women make little of it.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/12/2009

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In the US, 31% of 3 mo olds and 12% of 6 month olds are exclusively bf, while 75%, 43%, 21% are receiving some breastmilk at birth, 6 and 12 months. The wording of the "exclusively" question has changed over the years... if you are interested, the survey methods page is here...
http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/NI...

The definition of exclusive breastfeeding changes from time to time, but generally is nothing (including water) by mouth other than breastmilk and medicine and vitamins. But some definitions are laxer, and allow water, etc.

I'm not familiar with Canada's Public Health Agency's website, and couldn't find their statistics, but those statistics look pretty similar to the US's.

I think one of the huge questions that moms need answered is-- if the baby is getting mostly breastmilk (or some breastmilk) does that have the same benefit of being exclusively breastfed? How much breastmilk do you need to get the immune benefits? The eye benefits? The obesity benefits? I'd like to see more emphasis on keeping up some breastmilk (and supplementing with formula and food, as appropriate), rather than moms feeling like it is one or the other. We just don't have the info we need to know where the biggest benefit is, and when it just wouldn't hurt anything to feed something else.

Brenda - posted on 04/11/2009

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Well, the guidelines posted by the American Pediatrica Association states 4-6 months for solids depending on an individual child's readiness signs, which I agree with whole heartedly.  My son was an early eater simply because he was taking way too much formula at that point.  I have a love/hate relationship with "guidelines" just because every individual child is so different.  So I'd say that exlclusive breastfeeding would be rare to find after 6 months because of that....  I can't imagine a baby over 6 months not having at least cereal, of course mine was a raveous eater and still is...

Itsamystery - posted on 04/11/2009

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Quoting Stasia:



Quoting Melissa:

I heard an interesting statistic here in Canada. After 6 months, only 14% of mothers exclusively breastfeed.





Where is that statistic from?? ... I volunteer in a public health unit children and infants clinic and most of the babies I see are over six months and still breastfeeding. Also most of the mothers I know that have older children are also still breastfeeding





 



I'm not sure because I don't know the source of Melissa's data but the literal meaning of exclusive breastfeeding is no other nutrition from any other source, including from foods. So I think that the actual percentage still breastfeeding would be higher, but given that most people introduce solids at 6 months and some even at 4 and 5 months, most babies at 6 months aren't *exclusively* breastfed. I would expect the percentage of exclusively breastfed babies at 5 months of age would be significantly higher.

Brenda - posted on 04/10/2009

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I would definately agree that women shouldn't be forced either way (having done both), but I think my biggest concern is when something like this gets a lot of press, people on the other side get more defensive and it causes more problems than it cures.  Its a personal decision, and its a shame anyone is shamed/guilted either way.  It is always good to hear perspectives on the situation, but the problem is that a lot of people take what they read/watch on tv as being the truth especially if they've ever felt that way.  The truth is that it isn't up to society, but up to the person and there is often more to it than just the science of what is best according to what statistic...

Elizabeth - posted on 04/10/2009

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I actually loved this article, and think it represented a much needed perspective in the bfing issue. I just used it in a class I taught to balance out the perspective in Milk, Money, and Madness (which is hard core pro-breastfeeding). It seems that people have very different experiences with breastfeeding based on their geographic location and socioeconomic status. Because I am a very educated, white woman living in the mid-Atlantic, I very much identified with her experiences. Without exception, the second question I got asked when I was pregnant after "do you know what it is?" was "and you're going to breastfeed, right?" The pressure was intense, and slipping the baby the occasional bottle of formula practically required a signed note from my LC affirming that yes, I really did have low milk supply. We weaned at 11 months (my choice) and I actually got crap from people for not sticking it out the whole year...

I think her point about the research is that, yes, on balance the research shows-- at the population-level-- a benefit to breastfeeding. However, that does not mean that there is a benefit at the individual-level. That is what is know as an ecological fallacy-- you can not ever say that because something is true for a population of people, it will be true for an individual (we all know that smoking causes lung cancer, but some people can smoke for 70 years and never get it). So while we should be doing all we can to support the women who do want to breastfeed, we shouldn't be making women who don't or can't feel that their babies are going to be sicker, stupider, or less bonded.

Stasia - posted on 03/29/2009

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Quoting Melissa:

I heard an interesting statistic here in Canada. After 6 months, only 14% of mothers exclusively breastfeed.


Where is that statistic from?? I am only curious because I either live in a very breastfeeding friendly area and I am currently ignorant to the outside world (which is possible as we live on an island and it is a little hippy in a lot of places around here) or the statistic is off. I volunteer in a public health unit children and infants clinic and most of the babies I see are over six months and still breastfeeding. Also most of the mothers I know that have older children are also still breastfeeding.



 



I definitely believe that you found this Melissa Im just wondering where? Im shocked, with all the resources we have plus a full year of maternity leave you would think the number would be higher

Brenda - posted on 03/28/2009

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Morag: I cannot believe that the hospital would do such a thing!  It is proven that continuing to breastfeed infants with jaundice flushes their system so much better than formula!



And there is an organization that actively contributes to the idea that breastfeeding is equal to sexual abuse.  Its so rediculous.  A baby doesn't know about sex.  I recently heard a woman on a different board, or actually several say that it was time to stop breastfeeding when a child knew the difference between boys and girls.  The statement itself is loaded with the idea that if a child knows the difference than they are putting the breast in sexual context.  That just makes me so angry.   We try to force our children to grow up too fast in this society.  Schedule them to sleep all night by six months all alone.  Take them off the bottle or breast before they're one.  Make them be perfect little minature adults before they're five.  What happened to childhood and children being children and loving them for that?  What happened to nurturing?  Society has deemed that they don't need it, that they should be so independent and that if they aren't, and show any affection for their parents or attachment, well something's wrong with it, and sexually charged.  (I won't even go into the annoying person that went on a complete rant that she refused to bf after the first tooth came in....)



Sorry, its a rant I get on about often, and why I believe in so many attachment values.  The sexualization of children really annoys me, because they don't even understand sexual drives untll puberty and putting that on them is just so wrong.  I mean, I'm planning on trying to breastfeed my son when he's born in May, even though I bottle fed my first due to having surgery.  And I've already talked to my older son (3 1/2) about the baby and how it will get milk from my breasts so he understands what I'm doing when he sees it.  He'll touch my boob and tell me that's where baby milk comes from.  While I'd never attack a bottle feeding mom, I have been on the receiving end of both sides.  And I just think it is so sad that there is so much misinformation out there, and that a lot of women ignore the facts (and hospitals too obviously).  If they don't want to breast feed, don't.  Don't attack breastfeeding moms.  All that causes is breastfeeding moms to fight back, and then a viscious circle begins, and this great schism happens between them.  Wow that got longer than I thought...

Melissa - posted on 03/28/2009

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I heard an interesting statistic here in Canada. After 6 months, only 14% of mothers exclusively breastfeed.

Morag - posted on 03/28/2009

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I have had nothing but negative comments from doctors and parents alike by my choice to breastfeed my girls. From day 2 when my LO was rushed into SCBU with bad jaundice, I had doctors say I was damaging her health by being so stubborn to breastfeed. When I stood my ground, refused to take tablets to dry up my milk, I was discharged from hospital and prevented from feeding my LO. The comment that really upset me though was a mother who said to me that feeding a baby, especially boys, was tantamount to sexual abuse...I think why I am so passionate about breastfeeding is because I've had to fight so hard against everyone. Anyone, whos had to work hard for something, against the odds, like a degree, will know how proud they are of that achievement, and so they should.

The idea that women are lost to the system if they breastfeed is fatally floored. Women who choose never to even have kids still on average get paid less, and passed over for promotion on more occasions than a man, for the mere fact they are women. Hanna Rosin obviously struggles with her new role as a mother. I work full time and breastfeed full time, it is my duty. One that I freely took on when I got pregnant, that was what my responsibility comes to. It is time consuming, but raising a decent human being isn't something you take on lightly. You should be proud of your work. Some women so desperately want babies, and can't. In their honour we should make sure that we put 110% into our kids and be humbled by our luck to be able to be given the gift of life.

[deleted account]

Quoting Laura:

Very interesting. Although I really wonder where the author resides. Here in the southern part of the US, things are a bit different. My son is 10 months old and I am one of the very few moms I know who is still breastfeeding. People in my moms groups openly breastfeed their newborns with pride but somewhere between 3-6 months the bottles start appearing so the pressure sort of goes the other way. By 5 months, the "when are you going to wean" questions start and by 9 months, I started getting some "what the heck are you doing" sort of looks. Personally, I wish that we moms could find a way to be more supportive of each other not matter what our parenting choices.



I live in Texas and it is the same way here.  I have a 2 1/2 year old that I breastfed (and pumped while working full time) until I was almost 7 months pregnant with my second.  My oldest child was only 19 months old when our second was born and wasn't ready to wean despite my drop in milk production during pregnancy.  She weaned at 16 months on her own timetable.  I got all kinds of grief because I was "still nursing and pumping" after she was a year old. I even got the occasional "that is stealing from your baby  you are carrying".  I am currently "still" breastfeeding my 11 month old and have no plans to stop anytime soon. I now only work one day a week because it was MY choice to stay home and care for MY children the way I see fit!!  It is a very time consuming role to take on, but I love the feel of my baby against my breast and I am dedicated to raise my kids on the premise of what feels right and natural to me. I still pump when I am at work even though my husband usually just gives my nurser food and only occasional breastmilk until I get home.  Everytime I go to pump at least one person will ask me if I am still doing that and why?  I even had someone ask me two weeks ago if I still made enough milk for him...it took all I had not to answer with "are you kidding? do you know anything about how breastfeeding works? Add to it that I am an RN and work with plenty of nurses who should know the answer to those questions!! I agree that each mom should get to make the choice that SHE feels is best for HER baby...and let me make my choices without judgment.



sorry too for ranting, but I am very passionate about breastfeeding. I was one who had a lot of trouble nursing my first baby and without the help of a very patient lactation consultant would probably not be breastfeeding today.  I never would have dreamed that I would breastfeed a toddler or any child that had teeth, but I feel that my personal role as mommy wouldn't be complete without it. ;)

Stasia - posted on 03/27/2009

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Quoting Laura:

Very interesting. Although I really wonder where the author resides. Here in the southern part of the US, things are a bit different. My son is 10 months old and I am one of the very few moms I know who is still breastfeeding. People in my moms groups openly breastfeed their newborns with pride but somewhere between 3-6 months the bottles start appearing so the pressure sort of goes the other way. By 5 months, the "when are you going to wean" questions start and by 9 months, I started getting some "what the heck are you doing" sort of looks. Personally, I wish that we moms could find a way to be more supportive of each other not matter what our parenting choices.


wow Laura, good for you for sticking it out despite judgements of others!



In Canada it is recommended to breastfeed for at least a year. The only baby at the baby group i go to that is formula fed is ten months. And he was adopted from overseas. In mom and baby yoga our ot fifteen women there was only one woman who formula fed (our babies were around five months at the time)



That being said I know that breastfeeding is not the only way to feed!!! If you formula feed you formula feed that is the choice that you made and it works for your family so that's great too!!



THe issue I have is that i hate that people have to judge at all. Some women work hard to breastfeed and they should be proud of their work. Some women work hard to breastfeed and it doesn't work out, those mothers should be proud of the work they put in and realizing that it wasn't worth the continued stress on their families. Some women even bottle feed from the beginning. If this is the case because you recognize it wasn't going to work out for you and you knew stressing yourself is only harmful to your baby then good for you for making your own choices.



 



sorry for ranting ladies but i guess I am more passionate about this issue than i thought!

Stasia - posted on 03/27/2009

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This infuriates me. Those lactation consultants that this idiot bashed are wonderful women who have made my life a lot easier by offering wonderful support and information.

I understand that some women can be icy stuck up elitists but that is women's fault not breastfeeding!!! It was such a difficult journey to breastfed for me and i get frustrated when women say it doesnt matter anyway!

I also really enjoy Dr.Sears books and dont see a problem with him being FOR breastfeeding. It would be another thing entirely if he bashed formula feeding but he doesnt.

Im truly insulted by the insinuation that I or any other mother breastfeeds to look like an official mother. I breastfeed because it is healthy free and a wonderful bonding experience above all. I hope impressionable young women or mothers to be know to put this information right next to cry it out-in the garbage- where it belongs!

thanks for posting Brenda!

Michelle - posted on 03/25/2009

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you're absolutely right, laura....i think at the end of the day we should all be pro choice no matter what they are...

Brenda - posted on 03/25/2009

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From what I hear, the article's "research" came from the internet.  And this place published it anyway.



The biggest problem I have is this widens the schism between breast and bottle feeders.  I mean, I firmly agree that breastfeeding isn't the only way, to completely throw out research and say it is all wrong....  I mean, it just is my biggest issue.  Its like the problem I have with Babywise.  Research that's faulty, or non existent by non professionals in the field.  It makes bad things happen all the way around.

Laura - posted on 03/25/2009

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Very interesting. Although I really wonder where the author resides. Here in the southern part of the US, things are a bit different. My son is 10 months old and I am one of the very few moms I know who is still breastfeeding. People in my moms groups openly breastfeed their newborns with pride but somewhere between 3-6 months the bottles start appearing so the pressure sort of goes the other way. By 5 months, the "when are you going to wean" questions start and by 9 months, I started getting some "what the heck are you doing" sort of looks. Personally, I wish that we moms could find a way to be more supportive of each other not matter what our parenting choices.

Michelle - posted on 03/24/2009

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wow...interesting articles...lots to read! you know, part of me agrees with some of what is said (only part!!!). i have always felt that there is far too much pressure put on us to breastfeed, mostly because it doesn't always come naturally, its not a super easy thing to do when you have other little ones and for those who find it a breeze, good for them! all i know is i get to about 3 or 4 months, bub starts getting really fussy and unsettled after feeding....my milk supply decreases and as soon as i put them on a bottle they are sleeping all night and dream babies again...don't know why but it always seems to happen at around that age....i think to myself 'well, i have given them the best start i can' and move on...mostly! i don't believe that breastfeeding is the one and only way to truly bond with your baby...does that make me any less of a mum? i hope not...although that said, with next bub i would like to feed for longer, if it works out that way then great but if not, i'm not going to flog myself over it. i also think that for some women, breastfeeding is closely tied in with how they see their bodies...i feel a little sorry that the woman who wrote that article clearly no longer enjoyed it but continued with it anyway...society wants women to be sexual and maternal and it can sometimes be hard to reconcile both those aspects of ourselves with each other.

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