Touched Out??

Max - posted on 03/01/2010

Maybe the babe could have skin-on-skin with dad regularly for a while, then you guys alternate putting the babe to bed?

Amanda - posted on 02/21/2010

I so get the touched out! I have 2 kids 19 months apart that we cosleep with and I have breastfed for 3 1/2 yrs now with the exception of my last two months of my second pregnancy. There are many days I just think I might go crazy if one more creature (be it my husband child or dogs) touches me again! I have to agree with the others to just try to remember that they are only babies for so long and one day I will miss this. That is easier said than done. My son is now almost 2 and still won't hardly go to my husband if I am anywhere on his radar. In fact I just recently went back to work and am working some night shifts. My husband told me that when my son woke up in the middle of the night that they had to go through every room in the house to convince him that I wasn't there! That is so sad! Take a break or even an entire night off and let daddy figure it out with some expressed breastmilk if you have to. Do you have a sling or wrap? You might to wear your baby if you can during the day. It takes a little getting used to, but frees up your hands and usually makes me feel a little less violated by the end of the day. Good luck I hope you find what works for you soon!

Jill - posted on 02/19/2010

Laurel - my daughter doesn't have any medical issues but is the same way. I don't even bother trying to lay her down for naps. She just wakes up & then refuses to go back to sleep which then leads to a VERY fussy baby later on. So I just hold her as it saves so much headache later.



And Catlin I can understand feeling "touched out" I've said the exact same thing to my husband a few times. I'm normally a cuddly affectionate person but now really don't even want my husband to touch me sometimes. I don't feel this extreme about it every day but it is a form of exhaustion that I've never experienced. Not really from lack of sleep or a physical type of thing but just depleted of any kind of desire to be close to others, other than my baby who needs me. I breastfeed & we cosleep too. We're working on getting her into her own crib but most of the time she sleeps with us - no CIO here.



As Laurel said - I just remember that this won't last forever (right???) & try to value the time that I have with my daughter. My husband just has to understand as far as I'm concerned. And as for leaving for Mommy time - I've never been away from my 6 month old for more than 15 min. Granted we don't have any family near us but still I breastfeed - she doesn't take a bottle - so I really can't go far regardless. So no real helpful advice other than what Laurel said about taking it one day at a time.

Laurel - posted on 02/16/2010

I understand where your coming from... My almost 7 month old still doesn't want Dad. My daughter has a renal cyst that she is about to have the 2nd operation on and she is uncomfortable and in pain alot. I can't lay her down to sleep during the day and if I do she only sleeps for 15 mins or so and at night she sleeps with us. She wakes up every hour if she doen'st have tylenol but I hate giving her tylenol all the time. Anyways...she cries every time her father takes her from me... and we're talking all out hyperventilating fits. My situation is a little different because she has a physical problem that is the source of most of her problems but I have learned that if I try and lay her down in her crib and she only sleeps 15 minutes that in the long run that's harder on everybody. (right now she is asleep beside me on the bed) So I sit with her so she can get the rest she needs and everybody's not cranky come night time. When my mother came in town she would hold Zoe facing me and follow me around the house with her until Zoe started to trust her. I know that sounds a bit extreme but it gives you some time not having to hold her. My husband is not as supportive though, I still love him and I'm not trying to talk bad about him but that isn't something he's willing to do. It will pass... I dont' know when but it will. I guess I went through a process of excepting that this is how it is. Kind of the One Day At A Time philosophy. Hope that helps. I don't have a solution but it will get better.

Jan - posted on 02/14/2010

I think for a lot of baby's this is normal, not that that makes it any easier on you. I think you really need to think about what you can do to get some mama time for yourself. I know this is said a lot but it's really true, you can't take care of someone else unless you take care of yourself first. If your life and budget can handle it try maybe going to the gym or for coffee with a friend on a regular schedule. When my first was little his Dad did nothing to help, the first time I went anywhere without my son was the first night my mom babysat for us and DS was 6 months old, by that time I was getting cabin fever, felt over worked and completely underapriciated and honestly a little depressed. fast forward 6 yrs and I have a wonderfully supportive husband and when my DD came around it was completely different. I could go to the store or out for lunch and he was fine with her, it was hard for me at first though because I felt I had to be with her 24/7, once I got over that I started to be able to have time for just me and everthing balanced so nicely. I can enjoy all the time together without feeling overburdened and I don't feel guilty for taking time for me because I can see the difference between the quality of time spent together when I am refreshed verses the time together when I'm exhausted. It's ok to just say Bye I'll be back in an hour and even if you just go for a walk alone or hide in your bedroom and read a book, taking that time for yourself will make a huge difference. Good luck