HELP!! My 4 year old had major attitude!!

Melissa - posted on 06/21/2010

NAUGHTY CHAIR TIMEOUT!!! My son went through that, and i got a little camper chair, told him it was his naughty chair! whenever he would act up i would tell him if he did it again he would have to sit on the naughty chair! if he did it again id place him on there for three minutes - as he was 3years - and ignore his crying and pleading! the key is consistency!!! and be firm!!! you may have to place him on there a few times but never give up! he needs to know you are the BOSS!!! When the three minutes are up, ask her what she did wrong, then explain what she did wrong and why it is wrong then tell her you love her and let him play again! Always say you love him and dont hold grudges, this actuarlly worked for my son and my two nieces!!! Goodluck sister now show him whos boss!!

Kimberly - posted on 05/12/2010

Wow! I am so glad I am not the only one w/ this problem. My daughter use to act really nice except when she was tired. Her best friend screams and throws major fits and get away w/ it. She tried to do it to me. I stuck her in her room w/ no TV and no toys. She stopped. Then grandma paid a visit. Gma left in Feb and I still haven't been able to repare the damage. She now talks back to me and my husband. Turns her head when u talk to her. She doesn't even listen to her dad anymore. We know what we need to do but it's not working! Sometimes I have to walk away and laugh. It's like talking to my mother and my husbands need to have the last word. My husband and 4 yr old had an argument the other day that lasted for 5 mins. They wouldn't stop until they had the last word. I laughed the whole time. It was like watching my husband argue w/ himself. He finally got feed up and made her go to her room.

Vanessa - posted on 05/10/2010

My SD is the same - now I've turned to the naturapath! I bought her a bottle of KALM KIDS from Natures Own, it takes the edge off the psycho behaviour!

Janice - posted on 05/06/2010

I like 1 2 3 magic too. My daughter has the same issues.

Trina - posted on 05/02/2010

My daughter has gotten a bad attitude lately also, she listens to daddy and that is it. I have done everything I know how to do in order to calm her down but she is out of control at times. I have had alot of health issues and I am thinkin that she knows its hard for me to do things like before and maybe she is trying me. I don't know but I feel so worthless and like I am failing at being a good mother because she wont listen to me. Any ideas?

Jeannine - posted on 04/26/2010

The method that works for my son is separation. He gets very angry and causes physical pain to his six-year-old brother. But being separated from the family makes a big difference in the attitude. Time-outs never worked for him because he was still in the same room with us, and we had to pay attention to him to keep him in time-out. I have taken away his toys, and he just finds other things to entertain himself. We have four kids, so alone time with a parent is very valuable to the children. I try to use this time to talk to him, but it is important that there are no distractions.



I have to agree with everyone who says this started in school. It has been my experience that they learn more from their peers than they ever will from their parents, and when you have 6-10 four-year-olds trying to get the teacher's attention, they will try everything.

Ashley - posted on 04/24/2010

Talking to her while she is calmed down helps a little but the best advice I have for you is to ignore it at the time. She is wanting attention and when she does not get it she will start to realize that she is not supposed to act like that. My daughter is just now coming out of that stage and I know exactley what you re going through. My daughter would get so bad that she would have me in tears because I just could not handle anymore. Afterwards I would talk to her and explain to her why it was wrong to act like that. Try to have as much patience as possible and I promise the stage will pass!

Denise - posted on 04/15/2010

We have the same problem wtih our 4 year-old boy. He is such a whiner, complainer, cryer, temper-tantrum little ball of MESS right now. I started talking with other parents in his school (Pre-K class) and most of them say their kids a re doing it, too. Many parents said that they noticed it started when they hung around or started playing with some of the older kids in the class who also had older siblings. If they see someone getting away with the behavior (stomping, throwing, etc) they may try it, too!
Mine had all his toys, TV, games, dessert privelage, etc. removed and it only made it worse. We had to ignore the bad and excessively praise the good in order to get ANYWHERE with him. Now he's turned the corner (took several months) but I think he's got it. AND, he stopped playing with certain kids at school who are now labeled by him as "bad" or "trouble".

Crystal - posted on 03/26/2010

Ignore the reactions! She wants a response from you! My son is the same exact way. We send him to his room and then go on with what we are doing like nothing ever happened. His curiosity gets to him and he comes out of his room with a whole new attitude. Try it for a couple weeks, the attitude may not cease but it sure does last shorter! :)

Molly - posted on 03/25/2010

Hi there lets chat molly

Emily - posted on 03/23/2010

my 4 year old has just started doing that. I put her in her room for a time out until she calms down and then i tell her that she can't talk to me that way because I would never talk to her that way.

Crystal - posted on 03/12/2010

Thanks guys....Pamela...We've had a whole garbage bag full of toys....her games have been taken from her (computer games on nickjr.com). I've explained until I was blue in the face.....I've used her friends as examples, and she says she won't do it again, then again in 5 minutes it's done again!! The time out thing works to a point I guess, only she sits there until she's done screaming and crying and she can show me she can be a good girl....the longest she's ever sitten was 6 or so minutes. She does take her dishes to the kitchen and she helps feed our cat....but to ask her to clean up anything is WWIII. She says she's not a "cleaner upper".....We do crafts and whatnot, but once she's in that mood it's really hard to get her back to being pleasant and coopertaive.

Alicia..we try to stay consistant.....it's me and my husband, but I'm a stay at home mom so it's pretty much just me, except 3 hours, 3 days a week when she's at school.

Speaking of school - that's when all this behavior started!! Ugh!

Again, thx so much for your help guys!!! Hopefully something will get through soon!!

Alicia - posted on 03/12/2010

i have had some of the same issues with my four year old and a friend of mine gave me a book it call 1 2 3 magic and it describes more about what pamela was talking about it like a time out for the kids and the parents u just have to make sure u stick with it and u and whom ever else helps with her stays consisdent and it will work and theres no yelling or headaches my four year old has a mouth on her some time right now were working on getting to not tell people he hates them when she gets mad Good luck

Pamela - posted on 03/11/2010

Have you tried taking away privileges (taking away a toy she likes, or going to bed early) when she throws a toy? Do you use time outs? I read years ago a minute per age of the child is appropriate. I would sit down with her and talk to her about what appropriate behavior is. Tell her something like, yelling, stomping her feet and throwing toys is not how a nice 4 year old girl should act. Ask her what would she think if she saw one of her friends doing those things? Have you tried redirecting her into other activities? Arts & crafts, even have her help you around the house by having her make her bed every day, putting her clean laundry away, putting her dirty dishes in the dishwasher, feeding a pet if you have one, etc. Give her lots of hugs and love. Our 4 year old is spunky & strong willed too! Good luck :).