My son wants NOTHING to do with the toilet! :(

Joni - posted on 01/03/2009 ( 32 moms have responded )

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My son wants nothing to do with the potty! About a year ago, we started trying to see if he would atleast sit on it, but no, he did nothing but scream everytime we tried to put him on it. So we just stopped for a while, hoping that later on he would want to go by himself.

Although he doesnt scream when we sit him on it anymore, but he has only peed on the potty once.. yep.. ONE TIME! And that was before his bath.

Everytime he sits on it, he laughs but never pees. Im just at a loss at what to do.

I have always heard not to push him to use it, b/c he will do it when he is ready but he is not 3 and there still no interest.

Also, I cant get him into a preschool b/c they all say that he has to be potty trained!

Am I the only one with a 3 yr old that doesnt want to pee on the toilet?!

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Amanda - posted on 01/08/2009

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I had a girl first, and I can honestly say she was harder to train and had way more accidents than my first son. He wanted nothing to with it either, so I never asked him to go or even mentioned it. Then one day he said, mommy..i needa go poddy. He had accidents here and there for a week or two...then he was set. I never used training pants just underware. There is something about spiderman that will not let him mess them up. Give the kids the option, one day it WILL happen..each child is different. He still sits to use the restroom, but whatever works!! I've learned pushing and asking too many times frustrates them and drives them away...I learned patients and he did it on his own. Now he is a big boy, according to him. Good luck everyone...remember to let them choose to go...never force it...it will make it worse

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Regina - posted on 10/12/2011

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No. My grandson is 3. He goes pee in the potty,p but he poops in his pants. His mom just had a baby 2 and half months ago. We just have to be patient with him.

Virginia - posted on 10/06/2011

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no you are not! my daughter is 2 and a half and laughs on the toilet and will not pee! she has been watching her brother go for a year now...paying close attention in the bathroom (of course she has tried to pee standing up...lol!) but will not actually go. she will strip down and run around naked for hours...i put a little potty in living room thinkig she will be distracted and go..but nothing! her diaper in a.m is usually dry and she will hold her pee for hours after that in the morning and not go!!! finally once she found a corner of the house to pee in when i wasnt looking...she knew exactly what she was doing because she was even squatting when i found her...she just does not want to pee on the toilet! it's very frustrating!!!

Kate - posted on 09/16/2011

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might try a potty cover that goes over the big potty with a stool, course make it someone he likes might help as well as getting undies with the same people..also have dad or older boy help him dunk fruit loops

Robin - posted on 09/12/2011

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no you are not! my son is almost FOUR years old and has absolutely ZERO interest in the potty! i dont know what to do. ive tried everything from the no pants approach to rewards to toys to naked time. often times im so frustrated with it, all i want to do is sit down and cry.

Stephné - posted on 02/23/2011

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My son seems to have had an attitude very similar to yours. I know you unfortunately have time contraints but when my son eventually decided he would use a toilet he did just that. I have NEVER had to use nappies at night and he is 5 now and has only had 2 accidents - in his sleep! So chin-up there is hope.

Christie - posted on 02/22/2009

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You are definetly not alone! My boys were 3 1/2 years old before they would even show interest. One thing I did find to be very true was that they will when they are ready. So many people had told me that but I didn't believe it and tried to force the issue. I learned with my first son that you can't force it, let it happen. My daughter was so much easier and was trained by 2 1/2. Every kid is different, hang in there, it will happen.....

Michelle - posted on 02/22/2009

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I would suggest getting rid of the diapers. Going cold turkey.  Only using pull ups at night if necessary.  Sounds harsh but it works.  My son didn't like how accidents felt.   He also didn't want to be the only one in preschool with pull ups.  He wanted to wear big boy underwear.  We also did a "pee pee in the potty dance"  EVERYTIME he went to the potty in his toliet.  I contsantly put him on the potty after meals and before bed.  It became a routine.  Hang in there!  This too shall pass!    

China - posted on 02/21/2009

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I'm with you. My son (3 yr 3 mo) CAN potty but won't. He went 4 days and nights on the potty, earned different "prizes" and demanded his diapers back. I wouldn't give them back but after almost a week of cleaning poop and pee from our hardwood floors I gave up. He has his diapers and I don't ask anymore. Part of it is his baby sister (4 months) - she gets diaper changes so he wants them. I hope he gets interested soon though. I figured I would give him to 3 1/2 and try again. Good luck!

Jenifer - posted on 02/14/2009

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I read that another mother did this too....

My daughter is 3 now, and we definitely bribed her. We potty trained this past summer when she was 2. every time she went on the potty, or tried to go on the potty we gave her a freeze pop or a popsicle. It worked very well.

The only downside is to un-bribe... haha. She started preschool and on the first day she was upest because the teachers did not have any popsicles. She got over it quickly.

Good Luck!

[deleted account]

My 3-yr old daughter pees fine on the loo (she tells me she's too big to use a potty now!), but absolutely point blank refuses to poo. It's not that she can't poo in the loo, because occasionally she gets it right. It's simply that she doesn't have the patience to sit and wait for it when she knows it's about to happen. She'd rather be out playing. She would rather poo in her pants and walk around with smelly pants.



I've tried bribery, I've tried having older friends around, I've tried reasoning. Starting this weekend, we're going to start taking away toys every time she poos in her pants. And not just at home either. If she poos in her pants at nursery, the rule will still apply. I'm so fed up with having to clean dirty, pooey pants! Enough is now enough.

Paula - posted on 02/12/2009

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My daughter turned 3 in November and we were told by our pediatrician that we needed to push her - she should already be well on her way there.  So, we pushed, she resisted, and there were lots of tears of frustration on both sides.  My husband and I finally ended up letting her run around bare-bottom for a 3-day weekend.  We cleaned a lot of pee off the floor at first; she did get the hang of it pretty quickly, though.  She is mostly trained now, a month later, except for at night (she's a deep sleeper, so I'm not pushing the potty issue overnight yet).  She still has "accidents" - but we attribute them to laziness, more than anything.  She can't be bothered stopping what she's doing to go use the potty.  So, now that we know that, we don't rush to change her out of the wet clothes right away.  It's a deterrent, so far.  We also found that we couldn't ask her if she wanted to sit on the potty - the answer was always an emphatic no.  So, we made her sit on the potty every so often.  She got annoyed after a while, and would tell us that she didn't have to go.  That was when we figured out that she actually did know when she had to go...



 



Hope this helps.

Leah - posted on 02/06/2009

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I did about a month ago. My son didn't go because it was inconvinent for him. The only thing I can suggest is praise him when he's on the potty but let him know that he can flush when he pees in it. Go crazy when and if he pees in the potty.

And frankly, with the underwear, it was invented to keep the outer clothes from itching the skin "down there" In this time and age, we don't have that problem anymore.

If you are saying that diaper is preferred, don't buy any more.

Jacinta - posted on 02/06/2009

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I seem to have the same problem with my 3 year old son. He won't go to the bathroom on the tolite for me. Every time I ask him if he has to potty he says, "um no". I have tried alot of different things to get him to go. I told him that if he wants to act like a baby then he can have a bottle back and take the sippy cup away and he dont like that. I have taken away all of his favorite toys and told him that when he potties in the pot like a big boy he can have them back. That didn't work either. We bought him a puppy and told him that he was going to have to help take care of it. But if he kept going to the bathroom in his diaper that we would have to take her away, because being a baby he can't help take care of the puppy. That didn't work either. I am lost at what else to do. If anyone can help, please let me know.

[deleted account]

I have a girl, which is supposed to be easier anyway, but we did have problems to start with. The solution - Bribery... I know it sounds horrible, but a small piece of candy for pee and a lollipop for poops - and it didn't last for long - just a couple of weeks until she really got in the habit and then I stopped offering and usually she forgot to ask. This was a child that would scream 'I don't like my potty!' at the top of her lungs when we asked her to sit on it... I live in the UK, but I'm from Norfolk, VA - saw you were from Richmond - yea!

Cara - posted on 02/05/2009

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So My question to everyone is what do you do if your kid refuses to wear underware?

Ashley - posted on 02/04/2009

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My son is 3 and a half and always told me the potty was yukky and that i could throw it in the garbage as he didn't like it. So what I did is I got him to put his favorite stickers on the potty and then got rid of the diapers and put him in underwear. I then explained to him that if he peed in his pants he lost a sticker but if he went in it he got a sticker. The result was after 2 days and lots of peeing in pants my son is fully potty trained and even goes by himself and no peeing at nap or bed time. It's hard but just get rid of the diapers no kid likes peeing themselves. good luck

Cara - posted on 02/04/2009

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My son is 3 also and won't use the potty. I totally understand what you are dealing with. I just took my son to his 3 year check up and the first thing I had to talk to the Dr about was the potty issue. He simply said he will do it when he is ready. My son is very strong willed and will not do anything that he doesn't want to do. I guess we could just take this as a good sign that later in life our boys won't be easily pressured about other things. That is the thought that gets me through each time we try the potty and he won't go.

And trust me I'm sure we aren't alone on this.

Christina - posted on 02/03/2009

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Well everyone told me the same thing!! Believe it or not it is true!! Being a first time parent was difficult going through the potty training stage. I didn't want to listen just wanted Camron peeing/pooping in the potty he was almost three and I HATED changing diapers. After he officially starting going on his own it came to me. You CAN'T make a child pull up or down his own pants/ underwear. So that is the main obstacle to get over once they start doing that on their own then its good to go. Second I learned you can't make them go in the potty because they will go when they want to. Any little change will offset their progress... anyhow camron used to do the same thing cry and fight when on the potty. He loved flushing and sticking toilet paper in the toilet. But it actually all came the week of his 3rd birthday!! He was fully trained except for at night and then he went back to pooping in his pants. I wanted to scream ahhhhh why did you poop in the potty for 3 weeks and now all of a sudden stop? He had control so he didn't want to.. now he does it in the potty because after that he gets a cold Popsicle. So he pee's no problem with no reward.. but pooping seemed to work after offering a reward. It may just shock you one day like camron did me and say "Mommy I have to pee" you will almost fall off of your seat I promise. Good Luck and I hope this helped a little..

Carrie - posted on 02/03/2009

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Ugh. My son is def not interested. At all. Not even a little bit. At 3 years, 2 months. My doc said to leave him be until he's ready. How will I know???

Stefanie - posted on 01/28/2009

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I thought I was the only mom going through this... Thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone... My son will scream and hold it until he can get off... We've tried 5 different potties and nothing works. We did get this new book "How to" so I'll let you know if it works! There are some schools that will help with training b/c my son was born in Nov. he's a young 3 and some schools will put younger 3's with the 2 1/2 kids to get them motivated. Good luck!

Melissa - posted on 01/28/2009

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Ha!  No you're not the only one.  My daughter won't pee or poo in the potty.  I have tried EVERYTHING!  I have taken away the Pull-Ups and just let her wear panties but she just pees in them and keeps playing.  She goes to a Mothers Day Out program and does ok there, but all the moms from her class say they have the same problem.  NONE of them have potty trained 3 yr olds.  None of us know what to do and, like you, we want to move her to a different preschool program in August, but she will have to be totally potty-trained by then.  I am getting desperate as well.  I feel your pain.

Amanda - posted on 01/16/2009

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I my own experience, here are some helpfull tips. I never used training pants, they figure it is still a diaper and will have accidents anyways. Give him some big boy underpants and he might just feel like he will not want to ruin his big boy pants. Never push, it will make them feel like they are forced and he will rebell every chance you get. I also tried letting him sit there before bath time.



If you have an older boy who is potty trained, that might be a big help. Seeing a younger child who he plays with, going to the potty like a big boy, he may want to as well. My nephews were older than my son and being around them a couple days made him want to go like a big boy.



It may or may not work...every child is different. But give them time...it will happen.

Katie - posted on 01/16/2009

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My son says that to me sometimes too , that he wants to be a baby. I blame myself becuase I always call him my little baby boy even though he's not little and definatly not a baby anymore. I think at some point you just gotta be Mrs. Mean pants and take them every hour or so and force it. Eventually they'll learn that they have to go whether they want to or not. I hope so anyway lol. Sometimes I think mine would be trained by now if I had been more strict. I have back problems and when I'm under that kind of stress and dragging him to the potty I get in alot of pain. What I've learned is to find something they really like that they don't get as much like for my son stickers and lollypops. If he goes on the pot he gets one and if he is picky or wants more than one he goes in a time out until he calms down. I only put him in it for about a minute just so he understands I mean business. He's been spoiled so much that I'm finally cutting it down and making him see who's boss. Anyway good luck :)

Amandah - posted on 01/15/2009

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nope your definantly not the only one I have a 4 year old soon to be five and he doesnt want to be a big boy. He keeps saying he wants to be a baby and doesnt want to go potty. Its soo frustrating. I ran out of idea. I have been trying to train him since he was around 3 1/2 and still it aint caught on even a little. He wont even sit on it. he just screams. I'm worried he wont be able to start school soon if hes not potty trained.

Katie - posted on 01/09/2009

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No your not! My son is a little more easy to force to pee but it's still once a day or once every other day. I got to the point where I realize that he knows what to do and when to do it but chooses to pee and poopy in his pullup. Just a stubborn child but recently he's been coming up to me and telling me he wants to go. I think with every child it is different and that time is the factor. Some children take longer and I don't think there is anything to worry about. I do get jelous at some of my cousins who have kids who are younger and fully potty trained!!! Totally not fair lol

Jill - posted on 01/09/2009

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No-you are definitely not alone. I am in the same boat you are. My son isn't really into the potty, either. I finally got him to sit on it today-twice-but he did not go either time. He has to be potty trained by Sept. because that is when preschool starts. I wish I could say something to help you--I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one--I know how frustrating it is-I just hope my daughter will be easier to train!

Brandie - posted on 01/09/2009

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try this get him a stool so he can stand up to pee in the big toilet. Throw a few fruitloops in the toilet. have dad or and older brother show him how to pee in the toilet to make those fruitloops move around! youd be suprised how fun that can be for a 3 year old :) good luck.

Brandie - posted on 01/09/2009

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try this get him a stool so he can stand up to pee in the big toilet. Throw a few fruitloops in the toilet. have dad or and older brother show him how to pee in the toilet to make those fruitloops move around! youd be suprised how fun that can be for a 3 year old :) good luck.

[deleted account]

You are not the only one.  My 3+ yr old daughter has very little interest in the toilet too.  She has also only peed on the potty once, which I thought would be a breakthrough, but that was back in September.  We tried for 4 days in November to just go with underpants, no diapers, sitting on the potty every hour, didn't leave the house.  She would sit on the potty for several minutes and within 5-10 minutes of getting up, she'd have an accident.  By day 4 she was in tears because of the accidents, so I stopped.  It was apparent she didn't have a clue when she needed to pee.  She does know when she has to poop but won't go near the potty.  Not sure what to do next.  I am expecting my 2nd daughter in April and would really like for her to be potty trained by then, but I don't want to force her.  I hear that when they are ready, it will just click.  I'm hoping that's true.

Tysca - posted on 01/06/2009

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No you are not the only one with a 3 year old that won't use the potty. Hang in there, he will when he is ready. My son is on and off all the time. He will do it for the teachers at school, but not for me. I think by this age it has a lot to do with controling the situation. Welcome to mothering a 3 year old, LOL

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