naughty 3 year old

Ashley - posted on 01/01/2013

My son is 3 yrs old with severe autism, he want listen to me he throws stuff when he gets mad and try's to knock over lamps he can only say a few words he isn't et potty trained I am a single mother and doing the bet I can does anyone have advice on how I would dicipline him????

Melissa - posted on 01/22/2009

Crystal I also found out that the less down time Tori has the less she misbehaves. What I mean by that is that if I am involved in the activity she is doing, whether it is coloring, or reading a book, or playing a board game, if I am doing it with her and she has my attention and she is getting positive attention she tends to behave better, more of the time.



I hope that made sense!! LOL

Crystal - posted on 01/22/2009

Thanks for all the advice. I guess my expectations are a little high. I have been told from his preschool teacher too, that he does very well in school and I just ask if we are talking about the same kid LOL. I am hoping with consistency he will stop with crying and whinning fights. I guess he will just spend a lot of time in timeout until he chooses to not act poorly. Thanks again everyone =)

Melissa - posted on 01/22/2009

I can definately relate to what you are going through. Everyone tells us what a wonderfully behaved child we have....we always assume that they are joking! But apparently all the things we work on at home actually work, because at preschool she does as she is told, rarely talks back and we are told she has great manners and is kind.



So....I am thinking it is an attention thing. And the best thing I know to do for someone trying so desperately to get your attention is to not give it to them. This may sound odd, but I truely believe that most people do not give enough credit to children. They are a lot smarter than we think most of the time. I found this out when Tori was about 18 months old. The teacher at the day care she was in at the time told me that Tori was so plesant to be around.....and I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants. I went on to tell her about the troubles we were having at home and she told me that Tori was behaving in a way that I would allow and the way I expected. She told me that if I expected better behavior from Tori then I would get better behavior, the trick was that I had to not accept unacceptable behavior.



To my surprise....this actually worked! I started talking to Tori as I would any other adult...though I realize she is not an adult. When her behavior was unacceptable I told her that it was unacceptable and set out and followed through with consequences. For Tori, being isolated is total torture...so when she does not behave appropriately she must either change her behavior or go to her room until she can behave appropriately.



So at 18 months old she threw a fit because she did not get her way....I told her to stop crying or go to her room until she was finished. I was totally blown away when she stopped crying, walked into her room, sat down on the floor, began to cry and within seconds stopped, walked out of her room and said "i'm done mommy". I was just floored! Then I realized that she did what I expected from her. I am not saying that things are just rainbows and butterflies at my house.....they absolutely are not BUT Tori knows what is expected of her and she knows that if she does not do what is expected of her then there will be consequences and those will be followed through, without fail. She still has tantrums and she is sassy and she talks back, but she is also put in her room and left alone until she is done, and apologizes for the SPECIFIC behavior that sent her to her room. (Mommy I am sorry that I talked ugly to you, etc.)



I don't know if it will help you but it has worked wonders for Tori.

Kristin - posted on 01/21/2009

You are doing a great job!  I told my daughter's doctor how I spend over half of my day yelling at my daughter because she was not listening/respecting me.  He said that is being a great parent even though you don't feel like it at the moment.  It teaches them right away instead of them getting in lots of trouble later on and it teaches them right from wrong right away in life rather than them finding bad consequences later on in life.

Melinda - posted on 01/21/2009

I'm soooooo right there with you! Hubby and I were talking just last week how our 3y/o son has done a complete 360 on us in the past 3 weeks. Not that he was perfect to begin with. BUT, he wasn't like he is now. Another "phase", I guess, but it's terrible!! What worked last month is as a discipline tool does not work now. So, we just agreed to be consistent in what we do and back each other up. Things we do: stand in corner for time out (not able to see what's going on around the room), take away the beloved Veggietales DVDs, take away the beloved puzzles, no "treat" before bed (popcicle or sucker). I know it's rough, but hang in there! This, too, shall pass.........right?!?!?

Erin - posted on 01/20/2009

I feel like half of the time (sometimes more) I'm correcting or disciplining my kids.(7, 5, and 3-all boys) I've learned over the years that it helps to have the rest of my life in order so I can pay attention to them and have "planned" stuff to do. Now the times that actually happens are few and far between but in theory it works. Also, to be up in the morning before them and ready to go....I used let the kids wake me up but then they're a step ahead of me all day. As far as tantrums...he's 3....he's gonna try anything to get his way as long as it keeps working... just stand behind whatever consequence you set for him and eventually he'll get it...then he'll try something else. LOL And make sure you set a good example for behavior, my husband and I realized that a lot of the kids' behavior was just due to copying us. Good luck!!

Crystal - posted on 01/20/2009

does anyone else feel like all they do is discipline though? i was looking back at some old pics and thought a year ago it was not this hard to deal with the bad behavior. i guess it will just get worse from here LOL thanks for the tip =)

Crystal - posted on 01/20/2009

does anyone else feel like all they do is discipline though? i was looking back at some old pics and thought a year ago it was not this hard to deal with the bad behavior. i guess it will just get worse from here LOL thanks for the tip =)

Andrea - posted on 01/19/2009

The timeout system 123 magic was suggested to me, I found it very helpful.  It's out there in book but I suggest trying to get a copy of the vhs tape, I found it at my local library.