How can I split my attention with these crazys 2's and take care of a new born?

Sarah - posted on 12/29/2009

I have a 2 year old girl born 30th Nov 07 and a 7 month old girl born 22nd May 09 so I had the same problem. My 2 yr old was always very clingy to me as well but I always get my 2 yr old daughter to give baby hugs and kisses and help me when I'm changing her like getting her to pass me her nappy, baby wipes, tissue, etc. This helps her to feel grown up and responsible like a big sister. I do get my 2 yr old involved as much as possible in everything I do with the baby as this really helps not leaving her out. When I'm holding the baby I have my 2 yr old sit next to me with my arm around her and I give her lots of hugs and kisses. Also when I put the baby to bed I cuddle up to my 2 yr old until she goes to sleep. Its not easy! I had problems when my May baby was born my 2 yr old kept smacking her so I had a health visitor keep coming round to check on her behaviour which really got on my nerves! I hate health visitors!! I was advised to take them both to stay & play once a week at my local health centre which is like a playgroup but the mother stays just to get my 2 yr old used to seeing other moms with babies so she understands its not just me who has had another baby its other moms as well so its normal, she really enjoys it there she loves singing all the nursery rhymes and playing with the toys and other children. Shes going through her terrible 2s at times but apart from that shes absolutely brilliant now! She's showing the baby so much love she knows she can come to me to sing nursery rhymes with her and give her lots of love and attention and now I'm weaning my baby she grabs the spoon off me when I'm feeding her baby sister and makes a choo choo noise and feeds her! Shes so helpful and responsible now I can't believe how much she has grown up! It does get easier. Hope this helps. Good Luck! X

Wendy - posted on 12/19/2009

Try to involve your daughter as much as possible in helping you to look after the baby and try not to worry too much when she tries to interact with the baby. My son was 22 months when his younger brother was born and although George is besotted, with Harry, he isn't always that gentle with the baby. However, the baby really responds to his brother (in a good way) and apart from a couple of scratches on his face is fine. It is really hard though - I seemed to spend the first few weeks saying nothing but no to Georgie which is the easiest way to cause problems.

Kathleen - posted on 12/18/2009

HI Lydia,
I know exactly how you feel. My first and second are only 20 months apart, and my second and third are 22 months apart. It is hard in the beginning until you find your rhythm. Try to do thing ahead of time, like filling sippy cups and having snacks where your older can reach them. I agree with Mayte, give your older plenty of attention. Try to include her in as much as you can, like diapering and bathing the baby. While feeding the baby tell stories or read books, or even have a special toy that she can play with only while you are feeding baby. Even putting on a video/cartoon for her on a rough day won't hurt! It will get easier to older the baby gets. Once your son can smile make sure your daughter gets good face time with him, babies love to look at their older siblings!

Just remember that this is a short time, and it will pass. Breathe, relax. It will all get done. The baby may need to cry for a minute so you can help your daughter, or your daughter may need to cry a minute so you can help your son. I guarantee a few minutes of crying at this age will not land them in therapy later in life!

Good luck!

Gretchen - posted on 12/14/2009

those are good ideas Mayte, I did that for my daughter when my son was born. . she was 2 1/2 when he was born. . .and when I nursed him I would have her sit next to me and I would read her a story, it was quiet and relaxing and they both got attention. . you can also have you daughter help make "toys" for the baby when he is a little bit older like fill a plastic bottle with rice and beads, or liquid and some small bugs and beads.. . my son loved those. .when he is a little older you can have her hold up pictures and have her tell the baby what they are. .
when I would put my son down to sleep for the night, I would play a game with my daughter or we would have a small cup of tea. . .
hope those gave you some ideas =)

MAYTE - posted on 12/09/2009

hi i to have a 2 yr old he just turned 2 on nov 19 and i have a baby girl my first after 3 boys so u know i really wan to cuddle with my first girl.shes now 4 months ..but like my moms says dont make ayden feel left out paymore attention to him the baby is to small to know whats going on..and if your going to cuddle with alizae get him into the cuddleing as in tell him to to talk to her to give her kisses that way he wont feel left out..i hope this helps it shure does for me