Angry Outbursts

Jennifer - posted on 03/12/2010 ( 95 moms have responded )

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My son is 16 months old on the 18th of this month and he recently started screaming angrily when he doesnt get his way. Small things like toys that dont do what he thinks they should do, or taking away something that he isnt supposed to have, will cause him to screech like he is yelling at me. He is not crying, its literally like he is MAD! Is this normal for his age?

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Karen - posted on 03/17/2010

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Our oh-so-mellow little girl is 16 months and starting this as well. However, we've taught her a few signs over the past several months and continue to add to her signing vocab. I can tell you the sign for 'help' has saved us from innumerable tantrums. She'll bring us a toy and sign 'help', when I otherwise would have thought she was just bringing it to show it to us :)

Rachel - posted on 03/17/2010

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It is very normal. People who say that a 16 month old cant be reasoned with, haven't met mine. He will scream out at me, and i get down on his level and tell him, I know you are frustrated, and mommy will help you, but this is why you are mad. and tell him why he is mad. I tell him it is ok to be angry and mommy gets angry too, but there are better ways to tell me he is mad. We are also working on a sign for angry. That way he can tell me he is mad without screaming at me.

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Debbie - posted on 08/04/2013

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My 14 mo old grandson is having major temper tantrums. He screams and kicks and throws his body. Arches back. Just wondered if anyone ever thought this had anything to do with 12 mo vaccines. He had a bad reaction.

Kayla - posted on 04/18/2010

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I do have to say that the "terrible 2's" is completely an understatement! my son who is now almost 17 months (on the 24th) started throwing fits, kicking and screaming when he wanted something that he couldnt have or things just didnt go his way, and hitting, biting, and oh that horrible high pitch screech, around the time he turned 1 and now were 5 months down the road and it IS WAY WORSE!! They get very testy!! lol The other thing is that my son is a great kid until things dont go his way!! or you put him down after holding him lol but he was such an amaizingly happy infant!! he is still happy most of the time but we all have our moments!

Candice - posted on 04/13/2010

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i think every mom i know says that the yelling outbursts start at around 16 months. whether they're mad and yelling at you, or happy and just yelling loud in the store to the point of mommy's embarrassment, it always starts around this age. my son is 17 months and he started right at 16 months, do NOT feel alone. :-))))

Ashley - posted on 04/13/2010

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My son is 17 months old today (the 12th), and he does the same thing. He has even hit my fiance twice now when he doesn't get his way. But yeah, he screams like there's no tomorrow sometimes if he gets frustrated at not being able to do his puzzles by himself, or not being able to pick something up that's too heavy, or just frustrated with something he can't figure out. And also, like you said, when he doesn't get his way. I guess they're just showing their new found independence!

Ashley - posted on 04/06/2010

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My baby girl started doing that at 14 months. She throws a major fit and throws herself down and usually hits her head on the floor if she doesn't get her way.

Ruby - posted on 04/01/2010

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hehehe so the 16mo is the new terrible twos! my baby gets mad stops her feet, slaps herself or claps her hands together imitating me when i threat to spank her :D kids are awesome!

Sarah - posted on 03/30/2010

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Our 16 mth old started when she was about 10-11 mths with the tantrums, she would throw herself on the floor and headbut the floor screaming. She has since stopped the headbutting but will still throw her self down screaming or will bite her self or anything close to her!! Hope fully she will grow out of soon before she hurts herself.

Angela - posted on 03/29/2010

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My 5 year old son(when he was younger) used to throw his head into the floor when he didn't get his way until we moved into a house with hardwood floors. Then he would act like he was going to do it but it would be much slower because he knew he would get hurt. He stopped after that.

Beverley - posted on 03/29/2010

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Its like their testing us, to see how far we will let it go.
My son does the same thing but also he likes to slap aswel
I watch super nanny sometimes to see how to deal with it not sure if he understands the time out but I'm trying

Kirstie - posted on 03/29/2010

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They learn alot from us adults but i think mine is doing it alot more than my daughter did because he is copying her too and thinks he can get away with it.

Amanda - posted on 03/29/2010

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Mine does it too what a relief to know it isn't just my little boy. He is 16 months old to and throws himself on the ground and gets very mad as well. Can't believe they can get so mad at such a small age they are still babies.

Kirstie - posted on 03/29/2010

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hi, yes both of mine have done and are doing it, apparently it is normal. When my little boy does it i just walk away, ive always thought of it ashe cant speak so he has to say its mine or its not working etc by screaming and paddying either at me, his sis or the toy. when he starts to talk it will get better for sure.

April - posted on 03/28/2010

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my daughter bangs her head against the floor when she's mad, which of course hurts and only makes her even more angry. kids will do what kids will do, and i'm sure he'll eventually grow out of it.

Clara - posted on 03/28/2010

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unfortunately...yes...my brother and sister started their "terrible twos" at about a year and a half give or take...my daughter has started the same..at 16 mo too

Anna - posted on 03/28/2010

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Mine is doing the same, but including banging his head into the ground...Finding that if I don't feed into it he usually stops quicker. It is very trying and I am already exhausted with it. Gotta love 'em!

Angela - posted on 03/28/2010

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I think they just like to hear their little voices so they are "sharing" with us...Remember, sharing is caring :)

Michelle - posted on 03/28/2010

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Unfortunately yes, my 16mnth old daughter has started doing this, loves to make herself heard

Jade - posted on 03/27/2010

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if it makes you fell any better my daughter si also 16 months and does the exact same thing.. she even starts screaming if her dad and i start to dissagree about something.. its crazy... and she screeches too...lol

Angela - posted on 03/27/2010

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My son has already begun the testing phase. I don't care what age these children are "supposed" to be doing things, every child is different

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My first son had learned a lot of sign language by this point and ( I may be wrong) but I can't remember him ever having a screaming fit. I think signing really helped with that. But my 16 mo old daughter's head splitting piercing screeches have completely erased any memories of sonny boys antics. Should have been more persistent on signing with her...

User - posted on 03/26/2010

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my son is 16months he pulls full on tantrums he chucks everything then screams like an ahhhhhhhh then drops on floor kickin his feetin screatchin funny but very annoyin at times im hoping he will grow out of it and its just a fase seems he done other things which he dont tend to do anymore thank god ha gud luck sure all is well x

Roxie - posted on 03/26/2010

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My daughter throws a fit over EVERYTHING, she will plop herself down on her booty, kick her legs, scream and that top of her lungs, and start hitting. I believe this is normal because they don't know how else to react to things and get mad, plus, my daughter has my attitude. I will admit it.

Sarah - posted on 03/26/2010

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.It's possibly a mix of teething and the fact he can't communicate his wants/needs properly. I had this with my oldest and now have it with my youngest. As a 1st time mum (with my eldest) I saught advice through a magazine and received help from their Wonder Nanny, she helped me realise I needed to try to understand her needs and find a way to communicate. We already did some signing but we increased it and I took more time to try and understand her, less time doing housework and less time getting frustrated. It does pass but in the meantime - deep breaths and just try to find a solution that works for you.

The absolute last thing you should do is punish him for it - he doesn't understand his boundaries yet so you need to get through communication, then work on boundaries. It does get there eventually! I have to say that once I tried the things I was advised life improved and I'm getting there 2nd time round now - Good luck

Amy - posted on 03/26/2010

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my 16 1/2 month old son has been doing this for about 2 months. I was wondering as well if this was normal, now I know it is. He actually screams and throws things.

Ellie - posted on 03/25/2010

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My little girl is 16 months old also and she started doing the same thing but sometimes she will even start throwing things or scratching me or herself. I just broke down and cried the other day because I don't know how to make her stop. It is so frustrating because she can't tell me what is making her so upset and she can't understand why I don't want her to do it.

Sarah - posted on 03/25/2010

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My daughter is the same way....she just gets very fustrated and doesn't know of any other way to express this yet!!!

Laura - posted on 03/24/2010

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it is completely normal. they don't know how to express emotions or even completely understand what they are feeling. when my 16 mo old has one of these moments, i first get down to face him at eye level. then i try to express in words what i think he is feeling, like "Zade is very angry that he has to leave his friends". i use some feeling as though it were me feeling it - to try to get into his emotional state. at this point, he will usually stop his tantrum and look at me like 'mommy understands'. and then i use some distraction like asking him to carry his bag to move him on from the situation. this approach of validating and then distracting has really cut his tantrums off quite effectively. good luck! it will not last forever - the more words they learn and the more they understand their feelings, the better they will be able to control their reactions. ignoring is effective too if nothing else is working - it won't pay to start a pattern of giving in to the tantrums....

Rachel - posted on 03/23/2010

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My son is 16 mo old today! He has been having tantrums for months. If he doesnt get his way or you give him something he doesnt want (not all the time) he will throw the toy or throw himself down on the floor and throw his head back. I think hes a little young to be having tantrums but I think its all normal.

Julie - posted on 03/22/2010

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I've been telling myself that this is normal as I watch my 16-month-old daughter throw herself down on her belly in anger and begin kicking her legs and banging her fists when she's frustrated about something, but I must say it is nice to have the reassurance from all of you that it really is so common! My older daughter never did this kind of thing - the two are so different personality-wise! - so it has been a bit of a surprise for us this time around. However, we're finding that a combination of encouraging her to use the words she does know, the signs we've taught her, and the power of distraction all go a long way to solving the problem of the moment relatively quickly. Thank goodness! :)

Sinead - posted on 03/22/2010

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God, my son is the very same.He sounds like he's having an absolute fit but calms down a few mins later.I have to find something to occupy him straight away or divert his attention.

Sara - posted on 03/22/2010

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My daughter is 16 months old and she has been doing this for a while. This is very normal.

Elaine - posted on 03/22/2010

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ok my daughter is doing this also but she will also scratch and bit when she is angry. my question is how do i get her to stop or what is appropriate punishment. i understand she gets angry because she cant verbalize what she wants or needs but biting hitting and scratching is unexectable. do i spank her yell at her time her out? what do i do im getting different advice from so many peopel and i dont know whats approciate punishment for her at 16 months?

Lynette - posted on 03/22/2010

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i think this is normal, my daughter gets angry at times and will start to scream when she doens't get what she wants. its their way of testing the waters!

Kareena - posted on 03/22/2010

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He sounds just like my son. My aunt has 2 lil ones and she said this is the beginning of the terrible 2's. At first I thought my son was going crazy but found it's normal. It will pass you just have to ride it out and don't forget to let him know who's boss. And don't let his see that he is driving you crazy lol.

Ella - posted on 03/22/2010

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My boy is 16.5 months- its happening here!! I try not to fight it and try re-directing or sidetracking. Last week I began verbally acknowledging it "Are you frustrated?" "I can see you are frustrated" and I usually say "I love you" or "If you need a hug or love come here" sometime a hug has worked other times he has needed to work it our himself.

Vicki - posted on 03/22/2010

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Hi im having the same thing with my daughter Chloe who is the same age. I do think this is a normal thing as there at the point where they want to be able to talk and think they can do more than they actually can. Chloe even smacks me when she gets really humpy!! Its just a stage there going through, i think its purley frustration. Chin up it will pass. Vicki.

Raelene - posted on 03/22/2010

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My son is 16 months and has been having tantrums for a while. When it happens at home, I put him in his cot and tell him he needs to calm down. Every minute or two I walk into his room and ask him if he is ready to come and play nicely. His reaction lets me know if he has calmed down. I have only ever had to walk back out twice as he calms quickly in his cot.

Today though he had a wobbly at the park. He wanted the lid from my water bottle and I said no (he likes to eat it). I tried to reason with him and distract him but he continued to yell, scream and roll around in the mulch. I picked him up and put him straight in the car. I told him we would try again another day when he was ready to play nicely. It was our quickest trip to the park ever!

Suzanne - posted on 03/21/2010

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My son does the same thing. I think tantrums are totally normal at this age. I have found that distraction is the best way to deal with it. When my son gets upset that he can't have something, I show him something he can have. I say, "That's not for Dean, but look at this. This is for Dean." As long as I find something else that interests him, it usually works like a charm.

Kristine Bernadette - posted on 03/21/2010

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well my son is kinda different..he doesn't scream at me like he's mad but he cries alot..he's like making it up..he would stand infront of me and cover his face and start crying..he wouldn't stop until he gets what he wants.

Karen - posted on 03/21/2010

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My son has these fits, too! It started with his sister taking things from him, but he's now doing it when my husband or I take something he shouldn't have, or not giving him what he wants. He recently started banging his head when he's mad also. He is 16months and I tell him to go in his bedroom and calm down--and he does it! He usually comes out within a minute or two calm.

Debbie - posted on 03/20/2010

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yeah cause my son nearly 16months on the 26.my son does it all the time when he cant get his own way it is normal dont worry.

Lea - posted on 03/20/2010

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Is it normal? I'd say yes. My baby also turned 16 months on the 18th and she's been throwing tantrums for about three months. She'll throw herself on the floor when she's upset about something and scream her head off. I just ignore her. She's my fourth, so I'm a little used to it. It only takes her a couple of minutes but then she gets up and comes over to me and wants me to hold her because she's upset about whatever happened...be it a toy taken away by her brother or because she can't get to something or because Mommy said no. If I gave her the attention she wanted and tried to console her, she'd figure out that if she screams her head off she'll eventually get what she wants. By ignoring her and having her come to me, she's learning that "no means no". Once I'm holding her then I tell her I love her and kiss her and try to distract her with something else. Since I started this her tantrums/outbursts have occured less and less because they're not getting the desired effect.

Nikki - posted on 03/20/2010

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My son is 16 months and of course he understands no (I've said it quite a bit). He's learning that a full blown tantrum to where he's throwing himself to the ground, is unacceptable. He knows what a spankin is so when he gets crazy I ask him if he needs one. Like he's gonna tell me yeah, right? LOL Sometimes he really does stop to put his hand out as if he's gonna give it another shot to ask. I tried to ignore the tantrums but I didn't want him to think it was ok to have such a fit. If I don't react to it now and "nip it in the bud", wouldn't it get worse when he's older AND IN PUBIC???

Catherine - posted on 03/19/2010

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I have six children ranging in age from 16 months to 6 years. My 16 month old is the first to have done this. I really thought it was b/c he is the baby and I spoil him way too much. It's nice to know I am not the only one who dealing with this.

Brenda - posted on 03/19/2010

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Hi there, as much as tantrums are normal for little ones while they figure our how to deal with their range of emotions, some of their issues can be food related. We just did an "elimination" diet with our 16 month old, as he was having the same issues as you've described and since we took artificial colours, flavours and preservatives (plus some natural flavours found in fruits & vege) his behaviour has improved beyond belief - and he's so much more affectionate - food really does make a difference to their behaviour. So it's worth looking into - you can find out more - google "Food Intolerance Network" and there's heaps of really interesting info about the effects of food on toddlers. Good luck :)

Janina - posted on 03/19/2010

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My boy is the same way and he is 16 months on the 25th. his favorite thing to scream about is the fact that the toy won't come out of the toy box!

Jen - posted on 03/19/2010

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Mine does it too, and he also hits (usually me) when he's mad. I hope they grow out of it early, since it started so early.

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