how did your toddlers cope with you having a new baby?

Tine - posted on 11/24/2010

Could I suggest trying a sling or soft carrier (a sling, wrap, mei tai or Baby K'tan syle carrier). This will enable you to snuggle and breastfeed the baby while still interacting with your toddler too. The toddler is also less likely to get jealous as he waon't see the baby feeding all the time, and feeding time won't be as huge a task if you can do it on the run!
It would give you hand's free time to be with both babies and give them both what they need.

Natalie - posted on 11/20/2010

hi i had my second child when my son was 16 months and he was and still is incredibly protective of her from the start! if he thinks anyone is hurting her he tells them off. when we first introduced each other at the hospital we gave them each a present from each other and tried to have him included in doing things like using the face washer to wash her and giving me the nappy and wipes type thing even long after we came home, we always told him how good he was being and when people came to visit or we saw anyone before hand we would say to them dont call him by the name big brother he reacted better when he was called by his actual name....he loved it and now they are inseperable. he would occasionaly pick up a dummy or rattle for a few weeks but only did it a few times and hated being called A baby! so stopped! just include him as much as possible! from anything to nappies and clothes to baths and even helping take photos and be in a photo with the baby really helps too. i caught my son feeding my daughter a bottle when she was 2 months old...he got it off the bench and fed it to her while she was in the bouncer. we saw and interacted with alot of other babies and i held alot of children before i had her so he kind of got used to the idea of mummy holding another baby.

hope at least some of that helps.

Susan - posted on 11/19/2010

My son Alex was born Nov 18 2008 and my daughter Alyssa was born July 1 2010 he was fine having a new baby in the house but he got use to it b4 she came along because my oldest daughter ( who was living with me at the time) had my grandson 7 wks before Alyssa came along! Alex is really Attached to Ethan( my grandson) says that's his big E all the time!

Caitlin - posted on 11/19/2010

There is 17months between my two. (Girl then boy). She was a little bit jealous at first but we gave her lots of special attention and always allowed her to interact and cuddle her baby brother. Under supervision of course. My tip is to have a little present for your 2 year old at the hospital if he comes to visit or at home when you arrive. I also used feed time for the baby as a chance to focus on what my little girl was doing. We would read a story or I would talk to her about what ever gae she was playing.

Angela - posted on 11/19/2010

Hi Jemma! Congrats on your future arrival! I went through this twice with my last 3 children (I have 4 ). When my third came my second daughter was 15 months old. I involved her in as much as I could. I nursed so when I could I would pump and bottle feed. This not only made it easier but it also gave a chance for big sister to bond with baby because she helped mommy feed the baby. I also let Hannah (the big sister) help me change Emily ( the new baby at the time). It was a' learn as you go' process but I found my grove and things got easier. That was until I had my son!! Both girls were 3 and 2yrs old at the time. As I did when Emily came I let the girls help me feed and change Landon. I tried to let them be involved in as much as possible. It helped us all bond and grow as a family. It also let the girls know that they were still very important to mommy and that Landon was there to add to our family. Since then they are now 6,5, and almost 3yrs old and very close. They love to play house ( the girls encourage that lol) and race car games (of course Landon loves that). It may be difficult BUT I promise it gets so much easier. When the new baby comes let your son be involved as much as possible. Get creative and enjoy those little moments. I miss those dearly..... Time seems to go with a blink of an eye! If you ever have any questions I would love to help. Motherhood is so much better when you share!! Best Wishes!
~Ang
angelameeler@yahoo.com

Alexandra - posted on 11/18/2010

i would say both kids will need A LOT of attention. It would also help if you have somebody helping you at first, because between breastfeeding or prepraring formula or pupming, you will loose a lot of time. Not even talking about the lack of sleep. So if you can have somebody helping you that would be great.
I would try to come up with strategies to make your boy feel more confortable: playing changing diapers on a doll, taking the stroller outside while he takes a little stroller outside. Make a little book with paintings/drawings for the baby to come. Things that he likes to do. Things like that.
And then when the baby comes, we did this with our two, the older one always comes first. Always - for a while. Because he is the one who understands better and can communicate better (the little one just needs a lot of sleep, feedings and huggins, not playing yet for a while). Good luck.

Jameelah - posted on 11/18/2010

My oldest was 2 years 2 weeks when my second was born. She loved to give her cuddles, but we could clearly tell that she was very jealous. Mostly she would immitate a baby constantly and misbehave a lot. It didn't matter how much time I spent with her or how much I told her I loved her just as much as I always had, she never felt like it was even. If anything, we gave her more time than the new baby. As time went on they became best friends. They are now 7 and 5. They still do everything together, but alongside being best frinds they are also have quite a lot of fights. We have 2 more children after those ones and another on the way. The two younger ones were accepted with open arms as I expect this one will be too. I am a little concerned about how my son will cope with it (he's 2 on Saturday), but I am fairly confident that it will be ok. You can never tell how they will react. All we can do is prepare them as much as we can and work around your children and what they need.
I was given the advice to make sure that I make time for one on one with the oldest (no distractions), have books, drinks and snacks ready for the older child during baby's feeding time. Maybe read a book to the older child while you are feeding the baby.
Hope all goes well.

Carrie - posted on 11/16/2010

My daughter turned 2 on November 6th and her sister was born August 29th. At first, it was a bit difficult....Hadley would come up to Ashlyn and one second give her a kiss, and the next smack her on the head! You just never knew what to expect. But after a few weeks, that all subsided. Once Ashlyn started smiling at Hadley, and I think she realized she wasn't going anywhere, so she has since settled in. She can't wait to see her in the morning, always wants to hug her. I'm sure we will have setbacks, but for now, it's ok. The one difficult thing is Hadley decides to misbehave when she knows I can't chase her, i.e. when I'm feeding Ashlyn. So that's been frustrating, but again, hoping it's just growing pains and it will subside.

Tiphanie - posted on 11/10/2010

Hi, my Son was 2 on 6th Nov and my other Son is 14 weeks. George took to him just fine but I think that was because he was only 21 months when he came along. Just try to involve him and praise him all the time. The first weeks were hard as I breastfed but now we are all in a routine we are fine. Good luck