nurse to sleep, co sleeping and night wakings

Reni - posted on 05/06/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone, my 18 months old is still nurse to sleep, co sleeping and night wakings. I admit that I never be consistent of doing what the expert mostly said about weaning his nurse to sleep as I couldnt bear to see him cry so bad & histerical. He is a very spirited boy and having quite consistent nap & bedtime routine, except he needs my help to go to bed. These past 3 months he also cry so bad everytime I put him in his crib. I wonder whether anyone has some tips without cry it out. Thanks before !

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Jacqui - posted on 05/07/2010

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I have a very spirited little one as well... crying it out never would work for us, as she just would get more and more upset... and I couldn't bear it anyway.. I say, if it's working for you now, then le it be... don't worry about the "experts"... if you want to change things.. then I would do it slowly. Can you nurse him to sleep in your room.. then put him in the crib? (I never could with my DD, she would wake up as soon as I lay her down.. I wish I had a heavy sleeper!) Maybe start nursing just until he's really really sleepy.. then letting him fall asleep...

I don't know what else to tell you, my DD wants to go to sleep on her own (since about 4 months old) and I wish she would have let me "help" her.. or would co-sleep (she won't sleep with us)... I miss some of that snuggling/bonding time.. but each child is different, and I say if you are all comfortable with how things are.. then let nature take it's course.. :)

Erin - posted on 05/16/2010

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We do the same thing here! I'm single so the co-cleeping is kind of a non-issue... i've got room in the bed lol. My son still nurses to sleep and wakes about 3 times during the night. I was never consistent with attempting to 'cry it out' but he too throws himself into vomit inducing fits that i just can't stand to witness. As it is he gets excited for bedtime and nurses to sleep without a complaint. And to be honest, I enjoy the down-time too while i'm lying there waiting for him to take a nap.

When he's done he'll let you know. Trying to push him away too soon, especially at this stage, will just make him want to stay longer becasue he won't feel secure.

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Elyse - posted on 11/13/2013

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I need some advice my 6 month old has always fallen asleep in my arms, recently we have started a sleep routine for 730pm since he was going to sleep at1030. He's catching on but he wakes alot during the night and will FL fall back to sleep ifi rock any suggestions? him

Kimberly - posted on 05/13/2010

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I'm not really ready to wean him yet. I know he isn't! He will stand at the gate pointing for his pillow and then will grab it, carry it to the couch and pat the cushion for me to sit. I am still waiting on his toddler bed set to get here before I start. I want him to get use to his new bedroom set up. I may actually have to put it off till Aug. My parents and two niece's are coming to visit then I am going back w/ them to visit for 3wks. So that will actually throw him off whatever I did accomplish.
Thanks for the book recommendation I will have to check it out. Actually planned to go to book store this weekend. Need the new Nora Roberts book.

Kylie - posted on 05/12/2010

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I'm doing the same thing with my 17 month old. I did the same with my 5 year old and i weaned her at 2 years and she transitioned to sleeping in her own bed very easily at that age. I didn't force her and there were no tears..i waited until i felt she was old enough to understand my needing to wean her. We painted her room and put stars on the ceiling and helped her see her new bed as her special place then we established a new routine of books cuddles and sleep. I think it's completely natural for a young child to breastfeed and sleep next to mum. With my second child I've learned about baby led weaning so i wonder when he will be ready to move to his room.
If you are wanting to wean and transition your child to his own bed asap I've heard Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution is a good book to read.

Kimberly - posted on 05/12/2010

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I felt the same way till I realized I'm the the home all the time and it made my life easier. My husband was military at the time with my daughter that young. He was always gone. I didn't have help and the base we where at, didn't care. I was west coast my family and his east coast. No support what so ever. When family would visit and say something, I told them they can come live w/ me here in the middle of nowhere anytime and raise my kid! They all said NO! My family and friends still say stuff but quickly remind them my kids my way! My daughter is happy now at 4 and no ill effects. So obviously I did what was right for us. But like I said my son is very needy compared to her so we shall see. With him I may have to do things different. Guess I'll find out eventually.

Susan - posted on 05/12/2010

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Wow this really makes me feel so much better. All of my friends and family tell me I am too easy on my son who is 17 months. I still nurse him to sleep as well and he sleeps with me. I am ok with cosleeping although I did not do this with my older child. She was more independent and he seems to need my presence more than she did. I am hoping to try and wean him this summer however I am not looking forward to it. Thanks for making me feel better though by knowing I am not the only one who can not stand to hear my child cry it out.

Kimberly - posted on 05/11/2010

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@ Reni: It was hard at first! I am a stay at home mom so it helped for what I did. First I hid the pillow where she couldn't find it. Then I would stay up all night w/ the history channel or TLC. Anything that bored her. We would sit there till she finally conked out or I did first! I got her a toddler bed and got rid of her crib. Once she was use to sleeping and waking by herself. I think she was happy that she could get in and out on her own. Also she has never required as much sleep as most kids so I put a tv in her room and played movies that are fast play. Se would play w her toys and watch tv. I still had a monitor in her room just in case. She was about 23 mnths when I could just put her in room w/ a movie on and be good. She's 4 now and we still do it. My son is 18mnths and has the same problem as your son! Looking at toddler beds and waiting for this summer to start. Not sure how it will go he is more attached and she was more independent!! I hope it helps and good luck. Wish me luck for June, dang that's next month :)

Reni - posted on 05/11/2010

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@ Kimberly : thank you for the reply ! Your experience with your daughter is inspiring, hope to see my boy naturally wean from his nurse to sleep without CIO :-). How was the process until your daughter finally wean her nurse to sleep ? I tried Elizabeth Pantley's gentle removing plan, however he would soon try to escape from the bed if I didnt nurse him ( he is quite an active boy for though he is sooo sleepy ). Did you let you daughter fall asleep without your help first and only let her nurse when she asked to ?

@ Clara : thanks for the website info, will check it out. Have a great day !

Clara - posted on 05/11/2010

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Check out www.attachmentparenting.com, they can answer all your questions about the co-sleeping family. There are very interesting articles about extended nursing as well.

Personally we pledge to co-sleep as long as my daughter needs to !

Kimberly - posted on 05/10/2010

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My daughter is 4 now, I use to have to feed her to sleep and wait to put her to bed. At the time she was 18mnths. I also moved during that time so she had to co-sleep due to new environment. I was eventually able to get her to stop feeding, fall asleep on her own and in her toddler bed. All it took was her to be ready. She was about 21 months by that time. My son is 18mnths now and I still have to feed him to sleep, even though his sleep is at normal times. I couldn't stand to hear them cry and did what I felt was right for me and my kids. The experts aren't living in my house or taking care of my kids. I am! You do what you feel is right for you and your husband.

Reni - posted on 05/07/2010

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Hi Moms... thank you for your replies. So glad that Im not alone, all these time many friends have said that I should have been more strict & consistent to my son. However I feel that CIO is not work for him. He would get very very upset until he vomited, and it really break my heart to see him cry so bad. Its quite hard for me to move him to his crib after he fall asleep as he would wake up as soon as I pick him up. Even some slightest sound would wake him. Actually me & my husband dont mind to have him co sleep, however sometimes we wonder whether it would last until he is 4-5 years as we are thinking about having a second child by the time he is 3-4 years old. Is it true that it's a lot harder to wean his nurse to sleep & co sleeping as he is older ?

Clara - posted on 05/07/2010

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Do not let him cry it out, mommy.



They call this attachment, not bad habits...



email me if you want the gentle approach to this.

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