separation anxiety

Karla - posted on 04/14/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Okay, so that's what I think it is, I could be wrong. I have a foster baby born Nov 2nd /08 and whenever I go out of his site range he flips out. He has been with us since Feb 24/09 and he's bonded well with the family. I would like to be able to do dishes without him screaming. I'm losing my mind!

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Amy - posted on 04/15/2009

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hey my bub was born on the 2nd November 08 too. I was going to say I read somethings about babies being more comfortable with other people if they have a very involved dad and I have to say that my 2nd is happy to go to anyone but the first has always been quite clingy to me even now he's 4 1/2 but I was a single mum with the first from 3 months old. Tougher in your situation because your foster bubby has had a lot of changes in his short life and not a lot of stable attachment figures - all the other suggestions about a cloth that smells like you and having a play thing they can sit in or highchair so that he can see you while you do chores are great. I'd only suggest (if possible) to get him used to being with more people while you are still close by - and just lots of reassurance and cuddles when you are with him. Developmentally he is becoming aware of object permanency - ie. even though he can't see you he knows you must be somewhere and wants to be with you. Well done to you for fostering - I'd love to do what you are doing but not sure I could handle giving them back (and not knowing how long you'll have them for).

Trina - posted on 04/15/2009

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It very well could be. During the first year babies learn if they can trust those around them (the whole bonding). If he's a foster child that means up until your family took him in (major kudos to you for that, there is not enough people out there willing to do that, so thank you!) he's had no stability and is likely testing to make sure that you're still there. Have you thought about getting a bumbo chair or something of the like to put him in while you're doing the dishes? That way he could still see you and you can get them done :)

Amanda - posted on 04/14/2009

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Quoting Danielle:

OK, it sounds weird, but it works. Keep a washcloth (or something small like that) in your shirt for a couple of hours to get your scent. Then leave that with the baby when you leave the room. Hope this helps you.


 



 



I do that also, but I use a cloth diaper :)    It worked REALLY well when put the babies in the crib for the first night



 



 

Danielle - posted on 04/14/2009

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OK, it sounds weird, but it works. Keep a washcloth (or something small like that) in your shirt for a couple of hours to get your scent. Then leave that with the baby when you leave the room. Hope this helps you.

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