toddler behavior probs

Sarah - posted on 07/21/2011

If your youngest is 10months then i'm guessing your little girl has started moving around? My little men are 2.5yrs and 10 months. Big boy was perfectly fine while little boy couldn't move around. The nastiness only started when my youngest started moving because he could make his way to wherever big boy was playing and there was the fear of him taking his toys.
I do what Lisa said. If big boy doesn't want little boy to play with something then he must trade with him so little boy isn't left with nothing to play with.
It is natural to feel protective over your youngest, but your toddler is also going through some tough emotions and he needs to be able to feel them and have some kind of outlet. I have taught my big boy that if he feels angry or frustrated with his little brother then he should walk away or come to Mummy. He has shouted at his brother but he will walk away first. Still not ideal, but at least he is not hitting. I encourage him to acknowledge his emotions but let him know it is not acceptable to hurt anyone. It takes time but it's better to allow them to feel and understand their emotions than to have battles because they themselves don't understand what they are feeling. I can't remember the name of the book we got (i lent it to a friend to help her toddler) but it was very simple and just had the same face but with different expressions on each page to help him understand what he is feeling. It really helped and he much prefers to have a happy face than a sad one, or an angry one :0) xx

Candice - posted on 06/24/2011

I always "take turns" if they both want lets say a ball and my little guy (9mo) has it first I wait until he's done and then give the ball to my older daughter (2.5yrs). I also recognize cues from my daughter when she is getting loud when I'm talking to her brother, it tells me that it's time to give her attention. I have never had a problem with hitting either. I just try to include them both with everything the other does, for instance my guy like to eat puffs and she looked interested so I gave some to her. Therefore there is really no jealousy. Hope this helps.

Lisa - posted on 06/13/2011

I have a 2.5 year old and a 17 month old. This is now even working with the younger one. I've developed a certain tone of voice that lets my children know I'm upset with them. It is very low and quiet and it is accompanied by a stern face. I just pull them in very close tell them "(Action) is bad. Do you understand?" Then I leave them to comfort the other one for up to a minute. After that I come back to the wrongdoer and talk about what was wrong--suggesting proper ways to get what they want with the older one--and then ask them to apologize (kiss/hug/ect.) They both still have their moments but we can go a couple of days without incident.

Also, I have taught my older one the concept of "trades" (share is still a bad word) which helps alleviate problems in the toy department.

Anna - posted on 06/08/2011

lol me too! Looks like we're in the same boat. I just do time out, tell her it hurts, and just keep the same repetition. Have things changed in the house? We've had some changes and I think it's contributed to this plus I think she's trying to figure out her emotions. I ask if she's mad at her brother, and then I tell her that I understand she's upset but her brother was playing with the toy first or whatever it is, and have her sit in her chair until she calms down..it works sometimes and others i'm repeatedly putting her in her chair. However I have noticed too that I have to "punish" my 10m old when he does what she's doing. if he grabs a toy she has, she looks at me like what are you going to do about it. I can't tell her no and then let him get away with it. So I tell him no and give it to her. He also likes to pull her hair, again doesn't understand. However it hurts her, like hitting him hurts him, so I tell him its not ok, and separate them. His room is right next to the living room so sometimes i'll just put him in there and let him crawl out. It's just funny because other times she calls him to come to her room and play with her. Just keep trying one thing consistently and talk to her about how she is feeling.

Jillian - posted on 06/07/2011

I'd like to hear suggestions to this as well!