What is a good age gap for my second baby?

Jacqueline - posted on 02/17/2010 ( 32 moms have responded )

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I have a 15 mth old, and my husand wants to wait almost 5 yrs before having a second baby. Reasoning: Our oldest can be in school when the new baby arrives~ giving more time for one on one. I was thinking more like 3 yrs?

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Aanchal - posted on 06/06/2013

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I have a 5.5years old daughter and me and my husband is happy to have her but i want to know that its gud to have an only child or shall i go for a second baby and one more thing i want to add, is that the right time to have a second baby?
What about the age difference my both the children have?My age is 29.

Janice - posted on 02/26/2010

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I have it both ways. My oldest is almost 9 years old, she has been a great help with my 15 month old. She understands the situation and wants to help. But I am 36 weeks along and it's been really hard having to chase a 15 month old while pregnant. My second and third babies are only gonna be 16 months apart and I think there will be a jealousy there that may make things difficult. I actually like having the big age difference between the first two.

Morgen - posted on 02/21/2010

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We talked about it before getting pregnant and agreed that we wanted them closer together in age so that we can just do the baby thing once, and then when we're out of that stage we can move on with our lives. (that sounds bad but it isn't, it's really a positive thing - I want to go back to college once the kids are in school, but wanted to be a SAHM while they were little!) Anyway, we decided that we wanted them between 2 and 3 years apart. We thought we would start trying when Adrian was about 13 months and expected it to take a while because he took nine months to conceive - but it didn't! We got pregnant the first month, and I am now 12 weeks pregnant, due September 4th. Adrian will be 22 months old when this one is born. We think that's perfect spacing for us.

It seems to me that having kids really far apart, like five years or more, will be more like raising two only children. Sure, they'll interact a little - but when your younger one is 5 years old, the older one will be 10 - I doubt they'll have much in common, or that the 10 year old will want to play with his/her little brother or sister at that point. That's great for some people, if that's what they want - but it isn't what we wanted. We only planned on having two kids and we want them to be really close, like my husband and his sister were (and still are). I was raised as an only child and it was really lonely. My mother is just now thinking of having another child and I'm 23!

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My kids are a little over 5 years apart, and there are a couple drawbacks I have noticed. First off, starting Kindergarten is tough on a mom, especially a pregnant mom! I was a MESS! My son was born on the day of my daughters first school play, so I missed that :( The other huge negative I've noticed, is once your first child is independant and doing for themselves, its a big transition going back to doing everything. I would have prefered shorter time between kids. My sisters and I are all 3 yrs apart and I think that was good.

Stacey - posted on 02/19/2010

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Jacqueline, this is a rough decision I waited and regret it I will tell you why.. I wanted to wait to have another child until my daughter was in school well turns out I had problems conceiving so now my daughter is 9 and my son 15 months...while she adores her brother and is a little helper I would have loved for them to be a little closer in age and possibly would have had another baby but I will be 40 in December so that might not be in the cards and we feel blessed to have had him but there are factors we didn't consider when we decieded to wait. Hope this helps you a bit ...But you do what is right for your beautiful family and I am sure it will be perfect.

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Roni - posted on 02/26/2010

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We wanted ours to be pretty close so we started trying for the second whem my daugter was a year, but it took me almost 2 years to conceive so they ended up being about 31/2 years apart, and i think it's wonderful. My daughther is now almost 5 and absolutely loves to play with her brother who is now 15 mths. My daughter is just old enough that she enjoys entertaining him and helping out with him and yet she is not so old that she doesn't want anything to do with him.

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I have a 15 month old and my husband and I are trying to figure it out also. We're thinking 2 years apart maybe a little more. But I think that having them closer together is good. we give all of this attention to our first born and they become almost reliant on that. Mine can only sleep when it's really quiet or dark and when the next one comes I'm thinking it will be so much better because I won't have the time or the energy to have it totally quiet for them to sleep (besides having an older sister running around). They'll be more adaptable to different situations. Well that's my thinking anyway. hope that I'm right. At the same time, my siblings and I are all further apart (3 years, then 6 years then 5 years between the last two - there are 4 girls). My youngest sister (I'm the oldest)and I are 15 years apart and we are still pretty close. Whatever you decide it just has to work for you and your family.

Deanna - posted on 02/25/2010

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I have two little boys who are 14 months apart...not exactly planned that way, but we love it now! My oldest is 2 1/2 and my youngest is 15 months. They get along great we find ways throughout the day for "one on one" with each of them. I know they will be the best of friends growing up since they are so close in age!

Jessica - posted on 02/25/2010

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I am trying to wait until my little man is in school or close to it before I have another one. I really want another baby now, but my son is just now sleeping through the night and I am enjoying the rest at night! The main reason is because I want him to be able to understand what is going on, because he is a very hyper child right now and I want to make sure he will be nice to his sibling.

Erin - posted on 02/24/2010

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My oldest is almost 3-1/2 yrs old, my youngest is almost 16 months and I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant. I didn't want them to be far apart in age. My girls get along great, of course with the occasional problem. And the part I like the most...getting the bottles, diapers, and potty training all out of the way and not having to do it all over again.

Samantha - posted on 02/24/2010

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I have 15 month old twins so there is no age gap, and some days they like each other and some days they don't. my siblings all had their kids in sets of being 2 years apart, and it seems to have worked well. Personally I think if I hadn't had twins I would have waited until my first child was potty trained (I plan on this being done by the age of 2) then we would have tried for the next one.

Lisa - posted on 02/23/2010

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i only have one child, who is 15months old, me and my partner are trying for another one and hoping when we concieve the baby will be born around the time our daughter is 2 and half/ 3 so im hoping this is a good age gap, theres lots of pros n cons but its however you feel, pros with having a small age gap is the two children can pllay together, learn from each other and less jealousy kicks in at a young age when the new 1 arrives but if a child is older than 3 i personally would think jealousy would be the main problem and the other child would be too used to being the only child and having everything it wants until the new baby comes along.

Sara - posted on 02/22/2010

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my two sons are 22 months apart and I think they are a good age apart. now that my youngest is 15 months old him and his brother really enjoy playing together

Sarah - posted on 02/22/2010

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There is a 5 year gap in between each of my first 3 children and only 16 months between my 3rd and 4th child.I strongly recommend the 5 year gap.I had time to enjoy each child that way,also there was a lot less fights. My children with the 16 month gap are constantly fighting,which is very frustrating.

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we have a 16 month age gap between our girls and at times it has been tough but a lot of the time it's been great...I always wanted a 2 year gap but my hubby was the one in the rush to have another haha if he had his way there would have been closer to a 12 month gap and I told him I don't think so lol......I know a few ppl that have left it and had the bigger gap and r now having problems with the older one cause they aren't use to sharing

Stacey - posted on 02/22/2010

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In the end you will do what is best for your family..some of us didn't have a choice when we were able to get pregnant so whenever it happens it is a blessing ALWAYS!!!!

Kim - posted on 02/21/2010

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I have friends that have a 3-year gap between their girls and others with an 18-month gap... both couples are exhausted, and both send their oldest to school in the morning. Whether or not they will get along has nothing to do with age, they will either be connected or they will clash and you will not know until they are together. I am having a constant debate with myself, sometimes my hormones dominate and I am soooooo broody, other times my head wins and there is no way I will want to have two small children! Do what feels right for both of you, even if it means coming to some sort of compromise. Ultimately though, you will conceive when the time is right for that new little soul ;-)

Genevieve - posted on 02/21/2010

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Maybe if your husband can compromise a little, 3 1/2 -4 years between them?? A friend of mine has 5 years and says yes the whole one on one thing is good, but you need to plan separate activities for them as a 2 year old and 7 year old are not into the same things.

Pamela - posted on 02/21/2010

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I have a 15 month old and am pregnant with my second they will be almost 2 yrs. apart.

Kailey - posted on 02/20/2010

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i have been thinking about this a lot the past couple of weeks, because i had an iud that was painful so i just had it taken out and haven't decided whether or not to start any other bc. i know my husband wants to wait a little bit longer, and sometimes i do too. i just enjoy being able to spend the time with alivia and giving her all of my attention. but my brother and i were two years apart, and my husband and his brother are three years apart and i think that is a really nice age gap. i am so glad that i had a sibling that was somewhat close to my age and i want that for alivia too. now i just have to convince the hubby!!

Lorraine - posted on 02/20/2010

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theres only 20months between my son & daugther & both under 3 they get on really well,i think its better having smaller gap so they get on better

Michelle - posted on 02/19/2010

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5 is a long time ....i will explain why.....i have 5 kids....3boys 13-11-8....all 3 yrs apart...perfect age gap....then i had a girl 3...she is 5 yrs apart from my 8 yr old and they beat the crap out of each other and dont get along .....and then i have a 1 yr old who is 22 months apart from 3 yr old....and thats a good age apart but...you have 2 in diaper not alot of time to your self getting up in the middle of the night no breaks you know no mommy time not even in the shower ....so from my experiance 3 yrs was the best apart....give or take a few months

Kristi - posted on 02/18/2010

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I am with your hubby, and pretty much for the same reason. Plus I love that Wes gets all the attention right now ... and then will be in school. But it has to be a decision between the two of you! Good luck!

Ashley - posted on 02/18/2010

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my son is 15 months and i'm currently 3 1/2 months pregnant with number 2:) we didn't plan it this way, but we are very excited. we wanted to wait til next year so i could have my son potty trained but it didn't work that way and that is perfect. we are so excited

Chelsey - posted on 02/18/2010

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My girls are 18 months apart and are almost 3 years and 15 months old. We are thinking of trying for another sometime this spring/summer. I love that they are so close in age...they play really well together and adore each other. Having my eldest being so little when we brought my youngest home was a bit challenging in the beginning, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We didn't really have a jealousy issue because she was at the age where she wanted to help. My cousins boys are 4 years apart and the eldest resented the baby because he had 4 years undivided attention and that stopped when the baby came and he was being shipped off to school...a lot of big changes at once. It all depends on what you want.

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Go when you are ready. My Son is 15 months and I am 4 months pregnant with number 2 and I cant wait. It will also be a nice age gap for the.m

Caitlin - posted on 02/18/2010

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We will have a 15 month gap between our 2, no idea how it will go,but I like the idea, I knwo it will be a lot of work at first, but the diapers will be over with sooner and if they are closer in age I feel they will be able to better relate to each other (I hope). My husband was 5 years apart from his brother and they hate each other and have nothing in common and never got along as kids, so he was keen on our kids being closer. I was 18 months apart from my sister and it worked well for us, we fought and everything, but we're very close now.

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I have a 14 month age gap and found that my son was a little bit too young to understand what was going on and as a result often hurt her by biting or pushing her so there was a lot of extra stress keeping them both safe. Now they are starting to play really well together and there are less and less biting episodes... it is a catch 22 really... guess tit depends on what you think you are capable of. It was hard having them so close but I am enjoying them being able to play together now...

Tracy - posted on 02/18/2010

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hi we have 3yrs 8mth between our 2 and i love it i had a year with them both at home and now the eldst is at school.... it's really up to u guys and what u can handle...

Ashley - posted on 02/17/2010

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I think 2 - 3 years is good, me and my partner have just decided that we are going to have another one and my son is only 15mnths. we would like him to be about 2 - 3 when the new baby arrives

Melissa - posted on 02/17/2010

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there is a lil over 5 years between my 2 girls & i find it's perfect. this way u had 5 years of undivided attention with the oldest & they understand better what is actually happening. my girls are madison who is almost 7 & natalya who is 15 months. We are currently ttc but know it won't happen for years.

good luck & whatever decision u make will be what is best for ur family.

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