Paternity fraud

Tanya - posted on 04/24/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My partner of 6 years is paying child support to a 7 year old child that is not biologically his. After he found out he immediately cut ties with the child because he thinks it would just hurt even more and she deserves to know the truth. Also, he was never able to see the child on a regular basis. It was twice a month until he lost his job. We don't live together yet, but he has never had money for our son because he pays 400 a month to child support, again for a child who isn't biologically his. He lost his job in 7/2009 and they're now threatening him to suspend his license and of course back child support because he isn't paying right now. When he lost his job the mother told him since he's not paying he can't see the child. He had absolutely no idea this child wasn't his until the 2 year period was over. We also have no idea who the real father is. He did sign the birth certificate because he thought the child was his. The mother waited until she was 3 to put him on child support because they broke up when the child was only 6 months old. I guess that should have been a sign right there but we really didn't think anything of it. After we took one of those paternity test it came back 0% possibility. My boyfriend text and asked her if she ever cheated during their relationship and if there is any possibility that the child could not be his. She flat out lied and said she never cheated ever.... and there is no possible way the child is not his. I would never think to pin my children on another man, but apparently there are many out there who do. The mothers, child support and the state. I appreciate the laws in place to help those dads who run from their responsibilities. How about those victims such as my boyfriend who have been victimized by deceiving and lying mothers who now can't take care of their real children because they have to take care of another man's child? The state say it's about the child not money.. Really? Child support wants money... state gets federal dollars because child support gets money.... Family court wants money..... the mother wants money..... Mother is on state assistance so welfare wants money...non biological father will be put in jail if he doesn't pay money.. and its not about money? So they say it's about the child.. Yes absolutely the child is going to be hurt just like the father. Is it the father's fault? No it's the mother. Is teaching the child to live a lie ok? No it's not.. What if something medically happened to that child and she needed a donor or something and there is no biological father to save her life? Doesn't she have the right to know who she really is and where she came from. Part of who we are biologically also has to do with family medical history... Does she not have that right? Since we're talking about best interest of the child… How about the victim's real children who have to go without because money is going out of the home? They are children involved so why are their best interest not considered? There are cases across the country where families have lost their homes because of this. One man was even paying to a child who was living with her mother and her biological father. How crazy is that for someone to pay the parents so they can take care of their own child. Why not make the real fathers pay for their children. The senators are lucky because I am done having children. If not... I would have a baby and name one of their husbands the father and get support from them to see how they really like it. My boyfriend has never been in trouble with law, paid his taxes, and served the military. The mother on the other hand can't hold down a job, stays on state assistance, and now trying to get SSI so she doesn't have to work. She sure can party though. State awards her for her irresponsibility. I work full time, take care of my 3 kids, go to school, and pay my taxes like everyone else and this doesn't seem fair at all. The laws need to change! Other states have changed the laws so I am pretty sure Washington can as well. They put people to jail because of fraud. How is this any different? We are in the early stages of this, so we're researching and trying to find out what are best options are at this point. One thing is for sure... We are not going down without a big fight! Please help stand up and fight against paternity fraud in Washington state! Any thoughts on this?



Sincerely

Very frustrated mom against Paternity fraud

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6 Comments

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Dawn - posted on 05/31/2012

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I completley understand him not wanting to pay support in this situation, but why did he cut the child out of his life? He loved the child right? How does he just turn that off? My husband was married for ten years previously. During their divorce she decided to let him know the youngest of their 3 children was not his. He gor out of taking a paternity test becasue he was on the birth certificate, and he didn't care at that point. To him, he raised the child for three years, loved him and as far as he was concerned it was his son. The boy is now 13 my husband treats him no different than the other kids and loves him. Why punish a child for their mother's deceit? How is it any different than if you adopted a child?

Janessa - posted on 05/02/2010

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I do not think your boyfriend should have to pay for children that are not his period. The mother should find the bio dad these women are getting away with lying and cheating in life to get their way that is sick. The system should change everywhere and if someone is not the father then their should not have to pay period. If there paid child support and found out the kids are not theirs then the mother or the bio dad should pay back the money period . I am so disturbed this is going on in canada and usa we are better then this.

[deleted account]

Hmmm. Well, for what it's worth, here's what I think. Your boyfriend can get a paternity test though the court at any time. And once having done so, be free of any obligations. But frankly, it's a travesty and a great injustice to that child who has spent 7 years with a lousy mom and is now going to lose the only other parent she's ever known, and why? Because of money, plain and simple. It's real easy to walk away. It would be nice to hear of a real man, one who says to the child, "You know, I am not your bio daddy, but I am still your daddy and I love you very much." (Even more rare is the new partner-you-supporting a compassionate decision like that.)

Connie - posted on 04/30/2010

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From your post, I'm guessing that money is tight, but he really needs to take her lying butt to court. Judges don't take kindly to people who fraud the system. Have a court-ordered paternity test done (so that the results will be filed with the court), and then file to end child support. With the test result showing she's not his, that should be the end of that.

Also, visitation should not be dependent on payment. She cannot legally disallow him visitation bc he is unable to pay child support (whether the child is his or not). Another thing, if he's inclined, to add to the court filing.

I feel for the child in this situation. She's being used as a cash cow and barred from seeing the only father she's known.

I wish you luck!

Tanya - posted on 04/25/2010

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If you were in a situation where you thought you were investing your money in to something, then later found out it was being stolen from you... it's fraud. These men are tricked by the mothers and trapped by the law. If someone kidnapped your kid, then later she is found but the court says it's for the best interest of the child to stay with the other person even though they committed a crime in the first place would you like that? The mother is to blame and should prosecuted her lies are at least fraudulent. Yes the child is the victim and so is the father. The "real" children are also victims because they have to go without because money is going out of the home.

Laura - posted on 04/25/2010

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The only victim in this is the poor child.... All for free love and everything... however they do make thing that prevent prego. Come on...Where is the responsiblity before the children are the victims. Yes I agree, parents are responsible for the care of their children, but how about being responsible before hand... Not having children until in a committed relationship. Giving children with two parents.

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