COMPLETELY DISOBEDENT 3 YEAR OLD GIRL

Laura - posted on 11/03/2010

Just reading some of the replies.. I also have a two year old daughter that hits, screams etc etc when she does not get her way or when we tell her to pick up toys or go to bed.. A lot of you guys say put them in time out or in the corner etc.. how in the world do you get a 3yr old to sit still anywhere for any amount of time without physically holding them there? :) I guess I need to watch Super Nanny and find out huh.. I remember one I watched and the mother did hold her child in a corner because she would keep getting up and this went on for HOURS. I don't have that kind of will power or energy.

Patrisha - posted on 08/17/2009

I agree with Tarisa McMillan Lalic. Make sure theres nothing medical there, ADHD:Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. I know a few people who have children older than ur daughter, but they had the same problem when they were younger. This kind of thing can be treated if she has it. So my advice is to make an appointment with ur doctor or speak to ur health visitor and see what they have to say. good luck i hope its just terrible 3's xx

Kathy - posted on 04/13/2009

My twin girls 3 years old are similar and to tell the truth some of what you say is my life at the moment. Someone told me that 3 years of age is one of the most difficult (what happened to 2 years lol). I do use time out and put them in their room if their tantrums are too difficult to listen to but nothing seems to work either. It's very difficult. I end up yelling and the girls listen then (sort of) but it shouldn't get to that. I even try talking with them (even though they can't be reasoned with at this age). It's a hard age. I even find they like time out. Sometimes bribes work but can't keep that up as not really appropriate. I am afraid my girls at this age are very similar so maybe it is an age factor. I do know though that the girls respond to praise so I try and catch them doing something right and praise and reward.

Liz - posted on 04/12/2009

So I too have been dealing with the same type of issues with my daughter. Lately Ive been trying to be more consistent with my discipline. If she acts in a way that is not acceptable and I warn her once, if she does it again she gets and immediate "time out". If it takes 30min for her to actually sit for 3 min then that's how long it takes. But the more consistent I am the better her behavior is. If I say I'm going to take away something because shes acting up, I actually take it away. Words don't mean anything, Its all about the actions. The other thing I do is give her options (but only the options that I want her to have) for example: You can either wear A or B, if she says she wants to wear C you say " your choice is either A, B or NOTHING". this works well with most things. Its a lot of hard work on your part, but the more consistent you can be then she will finally realize you have the control not her. The most important thing is to not get into an argument with her. You are the mom, you make the rules, not her. Good Luck

Sandy - posted on 03/26/2009

Girrrlll, I feel your pain.  I just posted a very similar situation asking for help.  My husband and I are very consistant and nothing is working.  He screams in time out and keeps getting out, and I just keep dragging him back in.  My son bites and hits too.  It is to the point where we can't take it anymore either.  We are like, "hey we are doing everything super nanny does, what are we doing wrong???"  Our relationship is suffering to b/c of this.  I'm sorry that you are going through this too...

Tarisa - posted on 03/13/2009

Have you ruled out anything medical yet? My gut reaction when it gets like that is to make sure it's nothing medical first. Then if you rule that out (which would be the desired result) then you can start on the behaviour. I think that time outs are a good idea. Sounds silly but Supernanny has some good tips on that. If they continue to get out of their time out you put them back. It can be frustrating and time consuming on your part but consistency is key. I really hope things improve for you!

Emma - posted on 03/10/2009

Hi, i have the same with my 3 yr old boy, only he can be nice as pie one min then change the next and nobody can say anything to him. He's just today started spitting which i will not tolerate, i read nancys reply to u and i try do the same but he sits on the step for three mins (a min for every year of their lifes, so super nanny says)! just keep trying to persist love with everything u do, honestly it's hard, i know my head hurts first thing in the morning and at night. the only bit of piece i get is when i go to work!!!

Nancy - posted on 03/10/2009

Hi! I have some issue with my 3 y/o but have found that when she acts up and says no, or hits her sister (who is older by the way) and I tell her that she will go to time-out. She has 1 more chance to stop the bad behavior and when she doesn't she sits in a corner with NOTHING around. I use an egg-timer set for 3 minutes and when the timer goes off, I try to speak to her. If she is still behaving poorly then it's another 3 minutes. Yelling gts me absolutely nowhere and only raises the decibels in the house. It's important to follow through with your punishment such as time-out or no dessert. This is also something that won't be fixed overnight. You may also be able to get some good tips from your pediatrician. Good luck and I hope I helped some :)