4 year old discipline

Briana - posted on 10/04/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Hello Moms (and dads),

My husband and I are at our wits end with our very stubborn 4 year old. Everything is a battle, gettting dressed, brushing teeth, eating dinner, even when I suggest something fun to do he complains he wants something else. This is newer behavior but is taking a toll on our family. We've tried making it fun, races, timeouts, yelling, all with consistancy but nothing works. It's like he shuts down when he's asked to listen, which isn't going over very well in preschool either.

1) I am wondering is anyone else is having challenges like this with their 3/4 year old. Just to make me feel better ;-)

2) If you have a stubborn child do you have any advice for what has worked for you.

I know that just like adults all children are different and what works for one might now work for others, and I love my sons unique personality, but something has got to give.

Thanks for any words of wisdom.

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8 Comments

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Angela - posted on 09/03/2012

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Yes!! We have having the same trouble with my youngest. I remember 4 being challenging with his brother, but this is a whole new level of difficult. It seems to stem from going to Pre-K and the change of venue during the day. We are trying to be firm, but not tell him our plans until we have to go somewhere. If he refuses to use the bathroom before leaving the house, we stopped forcing the issue. If he has an accident, at this point, hopefully he won't want it to happen again. Other than that, the only other advice is that if you stick to your routine, he will come around.

Elizabeth - posted on 12/24/2011

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I have found tons of video's on youtube that really help...
ok just found one

Elizabeth - posted on 12/18/2011

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I've had phone calls from pre school and had to pick her up. My daughter has had a few melt downs in front of the Dr and they actually recommended pills, no i didn't take them because I know what harm they can do. once i started taking her out everyday for bike rides and runs things got better but still have issues. Some parents just have it easier than others, it's just life, I gotta just concentrate on the good stuff

Melissa - posted on 12/01/2011

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my son is the same! so frustrating, always seemed to me like he had selective hearing, lol. kind of like his father! ha!anyways he sees a nose and throat specialst for chronic nosee bleeds...a cpl weeks ago we were there and he checked olivers ears...well then he said wow, theres alot of wax in there, would you let me clean it out. i said sure (oliver is very good at being still for docs) so he cleaned his ears out using these long tweezer type things and WOW the amount of ear wax that came out of there was insane! like a freaking thimble full from each ear i swear! it was alike a magician pulling the scarf out of his sleeve, it just kept comming. the doctor said he shoould be able to hear better now. as soon as we left oliver said his ear felt good :) and honestly he can hear better now! it sounds crazy, but maybe he needs his ears cleaned! lol

Briana - posted on 10/18/2011

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Thanks ladies. It's amazing how you can be at your wits end and then they start behaving again. I've tried to lighten up a bit and have more fun. I am also due to have our second child in Nov. so everything is changing. Thanks again.

Carrie - posted on 10/18/2011

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we were having the same trouble with our child. Our big thing is time out in his room on his bed. I was at wits end also, not knowing the next step. (On prupose) i went crazy and really scared him. Kinda to show him how he was acting. He was in time out at this point for the 3rd time in an hour. About 20 mintues after things were quiet i went in his room and we had a huge discussion of what happened. He didnt like mommy acting this way. I said i dont like when colton acts this way either. Then i explained about living together in a house of respect. He said thats what he wants. Things are 80% better. I do chose my battles and correct when need be. Good luck with yours.

Brona - posted on 10/07/2011

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my son will be four next week and is also struggles with listening (I have already had 3 phone calls from pre K regarding this). With bad behavior at home with will give a warning and say if you do that again I will take a toy. If he does said action again we go into his bedroom and take a random toy and put it on a high shelf (it is gone till the following morning). Each nite at dinner we look up to the shelf, no toys up there he gets a round of applause. If there are toys up there we ask why each individual toy is up there. This has worked for us, the threat of taking a toy after a warning 99% of the time he will turn his behaviour. I too am hoping this is a phase, hang in there we are all in the same boat! Hope this method works for you!

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