Bed time routines, Commuting dad and toddler beds...

Erin - posted on 08/24/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone!
I am the proud mother of a very smart 2, almost 3 ( yay!) little boy named Dominic. I've never really had a problem with him, I've always had routines and everything worked out fine. A month ago, I ended up moving in with my mother after my current living situation ( on my own, in my own house) needed to change. Because of situations out of our control, dominics father and I are together, but live apart due to work. Even before the move to my mothers, he'd work and be away during the week and be at my house on the weekends. Dominic seemed to understand the situation and nothing really changed, until we moved

When I moved into my mothers, my room wasnt ready So we were staying in my sisters room and Dom stayed in his crib (he's always been in a crib). I used to lay him down on the couch at 9pm, let him watch something stupid on tv for 10 mins and the lay him down upstairs. No problem. At my moms, I didnt have the right away, so I ended up playing a movie for him to fall asleep to on my sisters bed. That worked for alittle while and but then he would start watching the whole movie and pitch a fit when I laid him in the crib. Then started "I wanna lay with you, mommy". So I'd have to lay on the bed with him. He started to fall asleep . This went on for about 3 weeks. When I finally got my room ready, Id lay him down on my bed and let him watch a movie, he'd ustill watch the whole thing and pitch a fit when it was off and I had to be with him the whole time. It got to the point where he would pass out with me and id wake up at 3am and take him to his crib..only for him to wake up screaming.

Recently , he has learned to climb out, which make it even harder to let him just cry it out. The past 2 weeks have been the worst. I finally got cable hook up in my room, so now I put stupid stuff that he wont watch so he'll pass out. Worked for a few nights, but i still have to be laying with him and he still wakes up when I move him. Sunday night was the worst when he watched the history channel for 3 hours and just laid there, with me. I finally decided to shut the tv off and just lay in the dark and he got up and turned it back off. So I put him in crib and he screamed bloody murder and climbed right back out. Screamed "the monsters are coming" which he never talks about, and tried every trick " I need juice in my cow cup" to stay up later. The screaming carried on for about 20 mins And I mean 20 mins of me constantly putting him back in the crib. My sister laid down with him in her bed after awhile cause I needed to get up early for work the next day. I dont know what I would have did if i didnt have her that night. He also stopped taking his 3 hour nap at daycare for the past week. He takes only about an hour now.

The reason why I bring dad up, is I have a feeling he's affecting this situation big time. Dom was always used to seeing is dad every weekend, when I moved up to my mothers, he and I took a 3 week break, where we remained in contact, but didnt see each other. And 2 weeks ago, we reconciled and he started to come back around and thats when dom behavior really started to act up. He was here sunday night when he freaked out and wouldnt sleep.He doesn't constantly ask for him and when he does, I have him call to talk or I tell him he's at work. And he's fine .

Did I lose everyone? lol What advice can you guys offer? I don't want him sleeping in our bed, but he's not staying in the crib. Maybe its time for a toddler bed? but if hes not sleeping in a crib, what is the chances of him staying in a toddler bed. My mom thinks I should get a toddler bed and put it in my room, but I think that will just make the situation worst. Maybe its time for mom and dad to finally be under the same roof every night in our own place? I mean, this stay at my mothers was just a temporary one until the wedding next year, maybe we should move sooner?

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2 Comments

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Ceri - posted on 08/27/2010

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try no tv before bed. It always revs my son up. He gets pj's brush theeth, story bed. Every night.

Alisha - posted on 08/27/2010

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If you and the father are sure you want to be together then I would work on finding a place together soon. It could be affecting the situation a little but I don't think it's the whole issue. If you guys are planning on getting married next year anyways though and you already have a child together and you stay together when he's in town then what's the difference of you guys getting a place together now or after you are married? Also I would suggest getting a toddler bed, my daughter who will also be three soon sleeps with us occasionally but what helped a lot for at least the first part of the night was the big girl bed. Make a big deal out of it, get some cool bedding and make him want to sleep in his new bed and be excited about it! We now put our daughter down to bed at 8 pm and we leave a little light on and let her look at a book or draw on her doodle board for about 5 to 10 minutes then it's lights off. If he crys then let him cry it's okay. When he comes out just keep putting him back into his bed telling him it's bed time. This might take a couple or more of nights where he cries for awhile but the pay off is he will learn to be a good sleeper and sleep on his own. If you keep giving in he will always know that when he cries mommy will come and get him eventually. I know this is harder then it sounds but you can do it!

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