[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )
I'm looking for some advice, if anyone can help me out. Please bare with me as its a bit of a long winded story
In Aug11 my husband and I purchased a restaurant. Prior to this our living/working arrangements were pretty much 50/50 with both of us working and parenting in equal amounts. Since purchasing the business I have become the full-time caregiver and my husband works round the clock. in aug we never saw him except for an hour in the morning and maybe Sunday evening. This isn't to strech the truth, its just how it was. We now have one whole day/week together as a family and at least one and sometimes 2 other nights.
When we first purchased the business my toddler (who will be 2 in Dec11) would ask for his dad but still slept reasonably okay, occassionally getting a little upset at bedtime but mostly settling and only rarely waking up through the night asking for him. Our routine was bath at 7, bottle/story/song and mummy out of the room with bub wide awake by 7.30, no tears, not tantrums, I would almost close his door and could go and do my own quiet activity without any problems.
To add further disruption (though this was unavoidable) we went away in sep/oct for my husbands sisters wedding, this trip split the family up with myself and bub going for 10days without dad, then the 3 of us together for a week, then myself having to come home for uni committments for 10days before daddy and bub coming home. After getting over the jetlag bub was back in his routine for about a week before hell broke loose. When my husband was on his own with my son he would rock/drive the car/do whatever bub wanted, to get him to sleep, he did not stick to the routine because bub made a big deal about it, my husband has never left him to go to sleep wide awake, it was always my job because my son knows i;m not hanging around.
Now i'm in a nightmare, bedtime it between 8-10pm, my son starts crying at bathtime for his dad, and this can be full on tear streaming crying, i can calm him down somewhat but its tough. finally get him into the cot, more tears, i was sitting beside the bed until he fell asleep but have managed to move to just outside his door but if i move and he realises he will climb out of the cot and come looking for me. If i manage to get away from his door without his noticing if he's still awake i have to sit in the dark and in silence until he is asleep. the whole thing is 3 times worse the nights my husband is home with one night me relenting and letting my husband drive him around to go to sleep. then we're starting to have crying fits in the middle of the night ontop of this, i don't think it's quite night terrors because my son is specifically asking for his dad and wants me to sit by the door until he goes back to sleep. I am expecting and exhausted and at a loss as to who to turn to for help or what i can do to rectify the situation, my husband is at home as much as he possibly can be but it's like the more he is around the worse this is getting. i thought it was the disruption in his routine when we were sepearated for 10days but he did get over his jetlag and get back to his normail routine for a week before all of this happen.
I am open to all suggestions, thank you so much for bearing with me