Am I the only one not putting baby on a schedule?

Britni - posted on 12/21/2011

No! My daughter eats and sleeps when ever she is ready! Schedules like that are for older toddlers!

Laura - posted on 12/17/2011

I never really had mine on a schedule....Joshua is almost 4months old and so long as he's fed every 2-3hrs and he's content, I just kinda let him dictate what his schedule is....he usually gets changed, feeds, drifts off to sleep then we repeat the cycle all over again, or he'll get tummy time or put in his swing.....it all depends on our schedules too....My hubby and I both work full-time and our boys go to daycare Mon-Fri....Every day is different, so ya just kinda have to roll with the punches.....

Ashley - posted on 11/26/2011

My daughter is 3 months and I dont see much of a point of a schedule right now, you can't force them to sleep at certian times, and I am not going to wake her if she sleeps too long, I agree with you I let her stay up and eat as she pleases. but she has been putting herself in a routine over the last little while.

Tawnya - posted on 11/20/2011

My 21 week old is not on a schedule set by me, she made up her own. She wakes up at 8am for the day, nap at 11am and 2pm for an hour each and bedtime no later then 7pm. Sleeps til 4am and wakes up at 8am.

Jessica - posted on 11/14/2011

my daughter's 22 months old now but when she was smaller she wasn't on a schedule and usually stayed up till 10:00 she got really used to it, she's on a schedule now she goes to bed between 8:30-9:00 but it was really hard to get her on a one and i wish i had of put her on one when she was younger

Jes - posted on 11/13/2011

my little ones are 1 and 2 and theyre not on a schedule. if they fall asleep any time before 11 pm theyre up all night. i always get told they need a schedule, but it just doesnt work for my kids. little babies basically sleep, eat and are awake when they want to be. i was always told to "make" them sleep, as if laying them down was a magic tool and theyd fall asleep. it never worked. do what works for you, thats what works for us.

Ricki - posted on 11/13/2011

I personally don't believe it's necessary right now to put your baby on a schedule. Then again I don't really believe in schedules, lol. I find that babies know when they are hungry or tired or wanting to play and will let you know and I think it's better to follow their lead.
I have four children 10,8,3 and 20 months. I find a general/loose routine works for us and I think each family needs to do what works for them. As each child and their needs are different.
(I find it fascinating to watch my children with their different personalities set their own routine, they adapt better I think if given the freedom to follow their own body clock. And even though I don't impose a strict schedule I noticed that each of my children has their own personal routine that changes and adapts as they grow. Two are early to bed and early to rise and two are late to bed and late to rise, lol)

Bryony - posted on 11/13/2011

you arent alone! my 22mth old goes to bed when she gets tired around 9:30pm sometimes later, my 8mth old until now has just gone to bed whenever i do. she's moving to her own room next week tho so will try a 10pm bedtime and see how we go.

Tegan - posted on 11/08/2011

Also a big fan of 'babywise' feed, play, sleep' routine/schedule. Baby should b put to bed awake to learn 2 settle. My boy is 3 months old and sleeping 11hours every night, i believe it is because of following this book! Parent directed routine!

User - posted on 09/29/2011

We follow Tracy Hogg's EASY routine, but it's not a set schedule. After recording his naps/feeds/etc. I realized he's eating every 2 hours on average (breastfed). Hogg says he should be eating every 4 hours (4.5 months old). Pfft. I like having a routine so that my day is somewhat predictable, but i just read his cues and go from there. I don't live by a succinct schedule so why should he? There are a million and one ways to parent & if your child is getting what she needs & it works for your family so be it! =)

Lesley - posted on 09/26/2011

If what you are doing works for you and your family - keep doing it. Your friend should support what you do not "act crazy" about it - besides, does it affect her life? Let her parent her way and you parent your way.

My child led the way with nursing (till she was 2 years old), sleeping and potty training. I never enforced any of it on her because she needed a schedule. Who says she is tired when I say or hungry when I say?

Kelly - posted on 09/25/2011

My lo will be 3 mo in a couple of weeks and I don't have her on a schedule. In the beginning I tried to have her on a rigid schedule and all it did was make her cry and stressed me out. Now that I let her eat and sleep when she is ready things are much better! I have a happy, smiley baby and she is very flexible. If there is one thing I have learned is that you have to do what YOU think is best for you and your baby

Ashley - posted on 09/19/2011

Ask you friend how her daughter makes an appointment to get fed. We'd all really like to know!

Erica - posted on 09/09/2011

We never really had a 'schedule' until about 4mo. That was mostly because I went back to work. Otherwise I think we would have done the same thing for awhile longer.

When you look at your child's 'schedule' does it seem to have some of the same patterns?? I'm sure it does and in that case you are doing just fine! :-)

Laura - posted on 09/05/2011

At 4 1/2 months we too had a routine, not a schedule. Now we're at almost a year and we do have a bit of a schedule... not set in stone but it just developed naturally over the couple of days. Everyone is different. Do what works best for you and your baby. If you WANT to have a schedule it is possible. :) Good Luck!

Sharon - posted on 08/31/2011

My son is 4 months old and he doesnt have any schedule whatsoever..he eats when ever he wants he sleeps whenever he falls asleep. He is the 5th child. The only things that are scheduled with any of my kids is when they go to bed and for the 3 in school when they wake up. My 1 year old put herself on her own schedule at 9 months old(when she started sleeping through the night). She decided that 7 pm was bed time and she sleeps till 730..If i put her to bed later she has trouble sleeping and gets up super early.

Kerri-anne - posted on 08/19/2011

my son feeds on demand and sleeps when he needs to :) i change him too when needed

Charlotte - posted on 08/11/2011

i never understood the whole schedule thing, I have 5 boys that are confident well adjusted kids that sleep and eat well and never had a "schedule" and my 10 month old daughter sleeps great and eats perfectly and never had a "schedule" either. you have to do whats best for you, Im not always hungry or tired at the same time everyday why would I assume my kids would be?

Ashley - posted on 04/03/2009

I let my daughter plan her day .. when she is hungry I get her a bottle .. and when she gets cranky I put her down to sleep .. her bedtime is when she wants! .. I would never put her down if she didn't want to or try to make her but she normally falls asleep around 8 or 9 every night. and wakes up around 8 or 9 .. some will set their own schedule .. and some will think they are the boss .. I don't see a problem with no schedule :)

Sara - posted on 04/03/2009

I don't have my 5 month old son on a schedule. He's a really good baby so I don't feel he needs one. He sleeps through the night, sometimes has 2 naps durring the day but if he doesn't he's fine. He just sleeps better at night.

Melody - posted on 04/03/2009

Hi your not alone!
i have 3 boys aged 3, 2 and 5 months we have never had a schedule as our lives dont fit into one my partner could work days one month and nights the next we found it very useful as our children dont complain if not fed at certain times and when they dont nap at certain times its useful for when we are out and about i think the only routine that is important is bed time for your own peace of mind you need quiet time when the children in bed!

Alicia - posted on 04/02/2009

my son does everything when he wants lol your  not crazy...

Jodie - posted on 04/02/2009

Well, I'm 33 and I still don't eat on a schedule, lol. I think routines are a good idea but a strict schedule is not. But I do disagree on the later she stays up, the later she will sleep. Every baby is different but I have found with both my kids that if they go to bed around the usual time (8:30 or so) they sleep better then if they go to bed late. Routines are good, schedules are unrealistic in my opinion.

Becky - posted on 04/02/2009

Hi Cheyenne! We put our son on a night-time routine before I went back to work, so when he was about 3 months old. He generally wakes up anywhere between 6-8AM, but every day is different. For example this morning he woke up at about 6AM, and was lying in his crib talking to himself for awhile and then started to get antsy. I brought him into bed with us and then he continued to talk to himself and I tried to cuddle him back to sleep but he was having none of it. After being up for almost two hours (and not crying) he fell back asleep for about 45 minutes. Some days he takes naps anywhere from 3-5 hours total, other days as little as 1.5 hours. But we do have a nighttime routine which is change, turn down the lights, white noise machine, bottle, and then he usually falls asleep. This was crucial and if we don't do it or wake him up halfway through the night, he is thrown off for at least 4 or 5 days. We only did that once. This is crucial for us b/c we both work full-time and I am going to school part-time for a master's degree. It works for us because he sleeps between 10-12 hours at night and usually soothes himself back to sleep if he wakes up (not that often).

Every baby/family is different. If I stayed at home, I don't know if we would have a set nighttime, but we start putting him down anywhere from 7:30-8:15PM. He used to get sleepy as early as 6PM but that was too early for us so we pushed it back slowly.

Erin - posted on 04/02/2009

I get crap from other people about how I need to put my baby on a schedule too and I am so sick of it. I took a child development class in college and my teacher was very clear when he said that we should not be forcing babies into a schedule but that we need to be going with their schedule. I'm sure you've all noticed that your baby has gotten into a pretty good routine on his/her own. I'm with you Cheyenne, eventually my child will have a bed time but there is no point putting them to bed when they're not tired and listening to them cry. I see other people try and force a bottle into my girl's mouth and it really bothers me when they keep trying even when she's turning away from it and trying to play. Your child knows when he/she is hungry/tired, let them take the lead.

Michelle - posted on 03/31/2009

I tried to have a schedule with my little man and he wanted no such thing. So I let him be and now he kinda has himself on his own schedule eats around every 4 or 5 hours. Sometimes eats his solids sometimes does not feel like it. He does have a night time routine bath reading feeding then usually bed, but this is the norm not a rule. Also let me say I am a nursing student so I know what a busy schedule is and doing things this way has worked just fine for us!

Marcie - posted on 03/31/2009

My opinion is that super scheduled babies have a hard time adjusting when things have to change. She's happy, healthy, and loved....life goes on!

Michelle - posted on 03/29/2009

Is this your first child?? The reason I ask is because I was the same way as you with my first one, now I have 4 and kick myself everyday for not having her on a better schedule!! Your baby is still young, so you can deal with what gets thrown at you,,,,, but when the time comes that there are more children or things you have to do, them letting you know when they need a thing will make your day extremely hard.. Babies need structure too, they look to you for consistency and love, makes their day better also.. I've noticed this big time with my  next 3, they are much  more even keeled than my first one!!

Sharon - posted on 03/29/2009

We have a semi schedule but its one which our baby chose / fell into herself.  We just let her do her own thing and she has fallen into 3ish hourly feeds, wakes at 7am, goes to bed about 7.30pm and naps when she needs to in the day. I guess as she gets older we might want to have more control over it but for now it seems to be working great for us.  I didn't really fancy the idea of a strict timed routine as that's not how we live so why would I want that for my baby - but whatever works for you!

Kim - posted on 03/28/2009

Nope my baby creates her own schedule, I believe in chld led almost everything.  She has pretty much set up her own schedule though and its pretty consistent.  She rarely veers from it

Angie - posted on 03/27/2009

Scheduling can actually backfire in some cases...I have an article that a friend sent me about a thing called shutdown syndrome.

SHUTDOWN SYNDROME

Throughout our 30 years of working with parents and babies, we have grown to appreciate the correlation between how well children thrive (emotionally and physically) and the style of parenting they receive.



"You're spoiling that baby!"

First-time parents Linda and Norm brought their four-month-old high-need baby, Heather, into my office for consultation because Heather had stopped growing. Heather had previously been a happy baby, thriving on a full dose of attachment parenting. She was carried many hours a day in a baby sling, her cries were given a prompt and nurturant response, she was breastfed on cue, and she was literally in physical touch with one of her parents most of the day. The whole family was thriving and this style of parenting was working for them. Well-meaning friends convinced these parents that they were spoiling their baby, that she was manipulating them, and that Heather would grow up to be a clingy, dependent child.

Parents lost trust

Like many first-time parents, Norm and Linda lost confidence in what they were doing and yielded to the peer pressure of adopting a more restrained and distant style of parenting. They let Heather cry herself to sleep, scheduled her feedings, and for fear of spoiling, they didn't carry her as much. Over the next two months Heather went from being happy and interactive to sad and withdrawn. Her weight leveled off, and she went from the top of the growth chart to the bottom. Heather was no longer thriving, and neither were her parents.

Baby lost trust

After two months of no growth, Heather was labeled by her doctor "failure to thrive" failure to thrive and was about to undergo an extensive medical workshop. When the parents consulted me, I diagnosed the shutdown syndrome. I explained that Heather had been thriving because of their responsive style of parenting. Because of their parenting, Heather had trusted that her needs would be met and her overall physiology had been organized. In thinking they were doing the best for their infant, these parents let themselves be persuaded into another style of parenting. They unknowingly pulled the attachment plug on Heather, and the connection that had caused her to thrive was gone. A sort of baby depression resulted, and her physiologic systems slowed down. I advised the parents to return to their previous high-touch, attachment style of parenting to carry her a lot, breastfeed her on cue, and respond sensitively to her cries by day and night. Within a month Heather was again thriving.

Babies thrive when nurtured

We believe every baby has a critical level of need for touch and nurturing in order to thrive. (Thriving means not just getting bigger, but growing to one's potential, physically and emotionally.) We believe that babies have the ability to teach their parents what level of parenting they need. It's up to the parents to listen, and it's up to professionals to support the parents' confidence and not undermine it by advising a more distant style of parenting, such as "let your baby cry it out" or "you've got to put him down more." Only the baby knows his or her level of need; and the parents are the ones that are best able to read their baby's language.

Babies who are "trained" not to express their needs may appear to be docile, compliant, or "good" babies. Yet these babies could be depressed babies who are shutting down the expression of their needs, and they may become children who don't ever speak up to get their needs met and eventually become the highest-need adults.

Here's the link to the article:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T13120...

Olivia - posted on 03/27/2009

No, the only thing I do at the around the same hr slot is a bath.  Other than that, no routine no schedule of any kind....he's a baby and right now its his world.

Jenny - posted on 03/26/2009

Hey! I am just starting to get into a routine with my little man (he's almost 6 months old) but he is starting the routine himself really- what I mean by this is that he is starting to eat around the same times everyday! I feed him when he is hungry, which is starting to be around the same times for each feeding. Also, nap time has become a little more predictable. If he is not showing signs of being tired, I let him play, etc. but he usually has a nap in the morning, one in the afternoon, and one just after supper. Then I put him in the bath between 6:30-7:30 every evening. His last bottle is between 7:30-8:30. I found since I started his evening baths he has started a schedule. I do not set the times (except bath time :)). He lets me know when he needs to eat or sleep!

I've learned that when having a baby, every day CANNOT BE THE SAME!!! Babies will not allow this :) They will start a schedule if you make certain things consistant... for example, his baths and the time you want to put him down for the night. Thankfully, my baby has always known night time. He stays awake a lot during the day but night time he usually only awakes for his bottle once he is down!

Charlotte - posted on 03/26/2009

Hi - I am the same - I just let my little one do his own thing - more or less - and certainly dont keep a time clock schedule of any sort. I fed him on demand byt he breast and weaned him to bottles and now solids and he is just fine. He sleeps most nights a solid 6-8 hours and has a couple more naps now in the day, one in the am and one in the afternoon - usually. I havnt been rigerous about anything and he seems to have just developed his own pattern - which is fine by me as I am not working so just a full time Mum - and all my hours are 90% deveoted to him. I figure the rigerous structure will be established later on - as he goes to school. Dont worry too much about it would be my thoughts - she will get her own pattern and as long as you are Ok with it - thats fine.

Amanda - posted on 03/25/2009

We don't really have a schedule - I'm nursing on demand so she eats and sleeps when she wants

We do have a bedtime - we go into bed at 7-ish and she's usually asleep by 8-ish

Nina - posted on 03/23/2009

My 5 months old is on a rountine, from birth he was on a 3 hourly routine, which at 3 weeks extended to 3.5 hourly. By 8 weeks he was sleeping 6 hours at night, by 10 weeks 8 hours, and by 12 weeks, 12 hours. He wakes up at 7:30 for the 1st feed, goes down at 9:30 for 2 hours til his 2nd feed at 11:30 (so i can have my lunch at 12:30). Goes down at 1:30 til 3:30 for his afternoon feed and then has a cat nap (used to be a full 2 hours sleep) from 5:30 til 6:45. Get his last feed at 7:30 and then sleeps through til 7:30.
I've just started him on cereal and he loves it but his routine continues in the same pattern, I am a firm believer of parent directed feeding. It has only been joy for me, he hardly ever cries and I know he is secure because he knows what happens during his day whether at home or out and he goes down for his nap without fuss and has learned to put himself to sleep. 'Babywise' by G. Ezzo was fantastic.

Lynda - posted on 03/23/2009

My DS is the same...I havent given him a schedule but i know that he has given himself one so i go with that =)

Angie - posted on 03/23/2009

My baby isn't on a schedule but seems to put herself on one. Not a strict one just general times she falls asleep and eats. Even at night.

Candace - posted on 03/23/2009

Well my son eats and sleeps really when he wants too so you aren't the only one

Carolyn - posted on 03/23/2009

We don't really "do" schedules either (my older daughter, who's almost three now, is due to her therapy schedule... that was a haaaard adjustment). But every family is different. I find that working moms and moms who bottle feed instead of breastfeed tend to be more likely to schedule, mostly just cause they need to fit into a schedule due to work, etc.

I'm with the baby-will-tell-me-when-they're-hungry/sleepy school of thought.

Lindsey - posted on 03/23/2009

I think to an extent babies put themselfs on schedules. My daughter eats about every 2 to 3 hrs during the day, usually gives her self a nap around noon, 4, and 8pm. I began putting her to bed with me at 11pm at first, but she started acting tired sooner than that, so gradually I moved her bedtime earlier and earlier week by week and now she goes to bed at 9:45 and it is working great. I think as long as you read your babies cues as to what they need, they will make their own schedule.

Vicki - posted on 03/23/2009

hiya i have a daughter who 5 months old now i do things when suits her. but i make sure she has bottle when wake about 7am then just after a 11 every 4 hours her last feed just after 7 in bed by 8ish dependin on wind. you do things your way, everyone different dependin on lifestyle and what works for you. vicki

Sara - posted on 03/22/2009

I have my 5 month old on a night time routine, not a schedule. I started paying attention to when she was going to sleep and started a routine around that. We do bath, bottle, book then bed every night at around the same time. I am a far bigger believer in routines than I am on schedules. I don't schedule her naps, I let her take them when she wants to. I don't schedule her eating either, but feed her when she's hungry, which is around the same time every day as it turns out. There are some moms that are schedule nazis, and that's fine, but I think a routine is important because it gives a baby comfort in knowing what to expect and I believe that is essential.

Connie - posted on 03/21/2009

We really don't have our daughter on a schedule either! I agree with previous replies...they'll let you know when they're hungry or sleepy, it's not something that you can "schedule". The only thing we really have routine is bath time. We try to do it about the same time every night and I've found that since we started this she will usually eat and go down for the night afterwards.

Jennifer - posted on 03/21/2009

like the other replies, my daughter is not on a schedule either. when she's hungry, she eats. when she's tired, she sleeps.

Jillian - posted on 03/20/2009

I have twins and they are not on any real schedule. They let me know when they are hungry and tired. The only thing I do keep on track is getting the younger twin ready for bed time at 8:30 pm. Other than that - we just go with the flow - it works well for us. And most nights they both sleep through the night. Not all babies like being on a definate schedule. Do what is best for you and your little girl.

Lindsey - posted on 03/19/2009

My baby girl isn't "scheduled" either - you are not alone!  :)

My daughter is my third and as far as scheduling goes, I have never done it!  I guess I'm not a fan of it.  I find that everyone in our home is much better off following more of a "routine" and learning to be flexible (I did try the scheduling thing with my first...for about a month.)  My older kids have "bedtimes" now, but they are extremely flexible with daily "routines" and that works great for us.  I do make sure they have naps, general mealtimes, try to have 'em in bed by 8pm, etc...Hang in there!

Jessica - posted on 03/19/2009

You can't make a baby eat or make a baby sleep when they don't want to. Another thing that I've learned is that if you're holding him/her and they start to doze off don't lay them down until you know for sure they're fully asleep.

Keria - posted on 03/19/2009

No. We have a semi-regular routine but basically the baby will tell you when she wants to eat or when she needs to sleep. Use your instincts. There are always people who want to tell you how to raise your child and it's even tougher when it is a friend but really, your instincts are best so trust them.

Christina - posted on 03/19/2009

My son is 5 months old and I really dont have him on a schedule either!  He seems to be putting himself on his own schedule lately. Its kinda funny how a baby figures everything out and tries to himself