Co-Sleeping

Jessica - posted on 11/06/2008 ( 42 moms have responded )

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Is any one sleeping with their baby? I am a first time mom with a 3wk old boy. . I started having issues with him sleeping in his crib and it was very hard waking up every 1-2 hours with him and playing the tip toe game to try to get him to stay asleep. So I got lazy one weekend and slept with him in my living room on the couch and now thats the only way he will sleep and he will sleep 3-4 hours at a time. Anyone else having odd sleeping arangements? Am i ruining any possibility of getting him back in his crib?

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Miranda - posted on 12/13/2008

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My son is 6 weeks old and he sleeps WAY better when he is in my bed. Hes always slept pretty good, 3 hrs a night but now that he is older and sleeps in my bed he can sleep for 5 hrs. which is nice for me since I have to wake up in order to go to school in the mornings. I was also worried about him sleeping in his crib and when hes older in his own regular bed (my cousin slept with his mom till he was 9 or 10) but everyone reassured me that it would be ok and that hes young enough that he wont remember sleeping with me and he will be able to transition. I have started laying him in his crib at 10 when he falls asleep and then at 3 when he wakes up i feed him a bottle and i end up laying him down next to me holding the bottle in his mouth and when I wake up at 6 for school the bottle is laying in between the both of us empty. =)

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Marly - posted on 12/13/2008

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I have made the mistake of falling asleep while I am breastfeeding in bed and now although he will sleep in his bed, he won't sleep well unless he falls asleep in my bed first. my beef is that my son will go 5 or 6 hours before he wants to eat after I first put him down, but I am only sleeping 2 or those hours usually. Then after that he will only go 3 hours at a time. I am trying to stretch that time but that calls for a weeks worth of sleepless nights, and a poor crying baby to listen to at night (which breaks my heart) I can't wait to sleep again.

[deleted account]

I ended up sleeping with my 2 month old for periods of time during the night for the first month or so because she wouldn't sleep but for a few minutes in her cradle. I was so tired, I could kind of doze off with her and was at least getting some kind of rest. I was afraid of rolling over on her too. Gradually, little by little she has gotten used to her cradle and is now sleeping for about 10 hours a night in it. It's still hard at first to get her to sleep in it at bedtime, but once she's in a deep sleep she'll stay asleep. I think what worked for me was to have her fall asleep with me (nursing or rocking or bouncing) and then patiently wait it out until her arms were limp and I knew she was sound asleep, then carefully ease her into her bed. It also helps to put your baby in their bed for naptime, or just to lay in it when they're awake and happy (play with them in it, make faces, make it fun) to get them used to it and associate it with a happy place. It comforted me though that really, most of the cases where a baby was actually rolled over on in bed was with a parent and alcohol was involved.

[deleted account]

My little one was getting up every 1-2 hours as well... I moved her into the bed with me because it was getting to hard to move in to and from the bassinet... However, this is what worked best for us... a moses basket!!! It was a miracle. It was given to me when she was 6 wks... the first night in it she slept 7 straight hours!!!

User - posted on 12/11/2008

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I just wanted to add that you don't have to get them out of your bed when they are still tiny. My four that now sleep all night on their own started in their own beds around 18 months to 2 1/2 years depending on the child and the circunstances. The easiest way is to start around 3-6 months putting them in the crib next to your bed when they first fall asleep and then pulling them into bed with you once they wake up. Then when you decide that they need to stay in their own bed (the timing on this is individual with each child and parents) when they cry you put your hand through the bars and hold their hand. If they don't immediately quiet you pull them in and then put them back once they fall asleep. You just keep gradually at it and before you know it they will go to sleep on their own. The best book for information on exactly how to do this is called The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Here is a website with some more good info: http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-t...
Hope this helps someone!
Julie

Christine - posted on 12/04/2008

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We are trying to break that too. They sleep so well with you. Just little by little was how we got her to sleep in the crib. Sometimes just 30 minutes at a time. If it wasn't for her cold, she would still be sleeping in the crib. Good luck.

Sherie - posted on 12/03/2008

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hi my lil girl is 8 weeks try rolling a blanket up and placing it next to him in his moses basket so he feels like someone is cuddling him this really worked for me x

Bobbi-Jo - posted on 11/21/2008

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My 5 week old was sleeping in his crib the last few weeks just fine, sometimes up to 4 or more hours! But the last week he wakes up as soon as he is put down and will only sleep with one of us in the bed, or laying on our chests. It is frustrating, but at this point, whatever works so mommy gets some sleep! I was going to try just putting him in the crib during daytime naps and wean him back into it. Anyone tried this?

Kelsey - posted on 11/20/2008

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I wouldn't reccomend sleeping on the couch just because there are so many opportunities for him to roll/slide the wrong way off or into a crack between the cushions. Try nursing him in bed while you lie on your side and then sleeping snuggled like that. It's best for babies to sleep on their backs- to avoid the risk of SIDS- so gently roll him onto his back once he's done nursing. I find that my baby is so sleepy when he's done that if I let him sleep for a little bit next to me- then I can gently lift him up and put him back in his basinette.

Jen - posted on 11/20/2008

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Emma slept with us for the first 4 weeks..but she makes so much noise when see sleeps that i had to put her in her crib...and we do the couch thing to...when she wakes up in the middle of the night and wont go back to sleep..sleeping on the couch on my chest is the only way she goes back to sleep

Elaine - posted on 11/19/2008

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Our dd is 6 1/2 weeks and we've recently transitioned to co-sleeping (or "sleep sharing" as Dr. Sears calls it) to half the night. She starts off in her crib and then stays with us after her first middle-night feeding. I never would have done it (I thought it was dangerous), but the nurses at the hospital showed me how to nurse her lying down and how to safely set up the bed so that it's safe. Now I often fall asleep while nursing and wake up only when she's fussy/hungry about 2-3 hours later. If I'm still awake when she's done eating, I'll put her in the bassinet next to our bed. When we first put her in the crib last week, it took me forever to fall asleep! It was weird not having her in the room with us.

Kim - posted on 11/18/2008

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I have a 7-year-old, a 5-year-old and a 6-week-old. Both of my older kids slept with me for a while and I got both of them into their cribs w/o too much trouble. The only thing I can't remember is when I made the transition! I'm wondering for myself, this time around as my newborn is in my bed....

Kristen - posted on 11/18/2008

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my daughter is now 3 but when she was born i was so scared if i put her in crib she could choke and i wouldn't know so i let her sleep with me, now she goes to bed by herself but she still wakes up in the night and sneaks into our bed. And it took us up until recently a big fight just to get her to sleep in her bed at all. My eldest son on the other hand i did not want to go through this so i put his crib in my room and gave him a "snugglie" that i dabbed a bit of my perfume on and we have never had any problems with him sleeping thorugh the night and i always knew he was safe.

Kylah - posted on 11/18/2008

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my daughter is 8 weeks old and started sleeping in bed with my husband and i the night after she was born. she had troubles too. so i know what you mean. everyone was telling me that i messed up and that it would be super hard to get her into her bassinet now so i was worried too. [also a first time mommy] but my little girl Parker now sleeps alone sometimes. you just have to gradually work it in and everything will work out

Rochelle - posted on 11/18/2008

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I co slept with my older daughter from birth till 10 months. She would sleep in her bassinet some nights for part of the night then would sleep in the bed with me. my now 6week, 4 day old daughter sleeps in the bassinet from 10pm till 3am then in bed with me till 8am. for naps she sleeps with me when my older daughter naps from 2-5pm, You are not harming chances of crib transitions, its all about how comfortable you are with he whole situation. Hope this helps

Laura - posted on 11/18/2008

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my son sleeps in his bassinet right beside my bed, he does pretty good there, but with my first son i had to move him to one side and roll up a blanket on the other side so he didn't have so much space. but when he gets up to feed I usually end up falling asleep with him in my arms and wake up a couple of hours latter.

Mary - posted on 11/16/2008

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I am in the same boat as you. My lil girl is three weeks old now and she only likes to sleep on my chest. If not she will fight her sleep until i put her there, then she's out!! Hang in there, it's rough but it won't be forever!

Logan - posted on 11/16/2008

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My baby was born October 2nd 2008 and she sleeps so much better with us then in her crib. Though my husband keeps telling me it will be really hard to break when she is older. I started having her sleep in her crib about 2 weeks ago and she actually is taking to it really well, I think it was harder on me than her :). She sleeps with us about 2 nights a week still, plus I tend to bring her into our bed after the 5:30 am feeding and that works out well... I figure it is both of our reward for making it through the night in our own beds!! :)

Laura - posted on 11/16/2008

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I'm a first time mom as well with a 3 1/2 week old girl. We bought a co-sleep bed from Wal-mart that is pretty much a mini-crib that fits in the bed between me and my husband. We've been co-sleeping since we brought her home from the hospital, with the exception of her day-time naps, which she takes either in her crib or in her stroller depending on where I am.

For the first 2 weeks, she slept swaddled for maybe 3 hours at a time. Last week, she fought herself completely out of her swaddle, and has refused to sleep like that since. When she gets in a fussy mood, she's settle if I pick her up and cuddle her. Other then that, as long as she has either a blanket or her stuffed bunny to cuddle into, she'll sleep well. She's only waking up once at night now, and that was after an almost 6 hour sleep. Sometimes she may need a pacifier to get to sleep, but she'll spit that out before she's fully asleep.

I'm finding this really easy as I'm breastfeeding, so after her feed and burp I can just lay her next to me. She also spits up a bit, so this way I can make sure she doesn't choke on it.

Amanda - posted on 11/15/2008

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I have a 6 week old baby girl and I've co-slept with her since she was 3 weeks. All of a sudden one day when I went to put her down in her crib/play-yard she woke up bright eye'd and crabby. I tried for a few days and by the 3rd day was completely exhausted from not having a good nights sleep. When I started co-sleeping with her she slept 4-5 hours and would wake up once to nurse, then would go back to sleep for 2-3 hours (heaven!). For the last two days she's slept through the night, falling asleep at 11-12am and sleeping until 8 or 9. My mom has some issues with my co-sleeping, but its what works for the Mum, not the grandma or any other outside influence. I know most likely it will be hard to transition into the crib, but that's a learning experience I'm actually looking forward to ( I'm sure I'll eat my words once I'm actually at that point.) But for now, we're both sleeping soundly. Even tho I do wake up and make sure I can see her little chest moving up and down every half hour to hour, it's still pretty restful. : )

Jacki - posted on 11/15/2008

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I know exactly what you're going through. My son is almost 6 weeks old and for the past couple of weeks he has been sleeping in our bed too. He was only sleeping in his bassinet for 1-2 hours at a time but in our bed he sleeps 3-4, I know I shouldn't let him get used to sleeping in our bed all the time, but I like the sleep. I'm not sure of how to break the habit either.

Amanda - posted on 11/13/2008

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No your not ruining any possiblity of getting him in his crib. We slept with our oldest son in the bed for at least 4 months. He went to his crib with no problems. Now with our youngest he is in the bed with us too, it makes breastfeeding easier, and also allows us to get some sleep... dont worry about it, he'll want his own space to sleep soon enough, (Mine is 3 weeks old too!)

Christi - posted on 11/13/2008

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my 4 week old sleeps with me, he sleeps longer, and since i breastfeed it is much easier.... don't worry you can break them of it though, i also have a 14month old and she was a co sleeper and she is happily in her own bed now and would probably not want to sleep with me.... but anyway don't worry, he can be broken.... i suggest around 6mos or so......

Megan - posted on 11/13/2008

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I starting having my first son sleep in my bed when he was a few days old and well, he turned two on November 2nd and he's still in my bed... we tried getting him back in his crib but he is still with us... I have a little girl now, born this year, October 14th and as hard as it is for me to get up all the time with her I'm going to do it because I can not have another one in there. We are going to get my son a "Cars" racecar bed for Christmas and hopefully he will sleep in that. It's hard to have a two year old in bed at night because I'm constantly getting kicked in the face and there is NO room for me in that bed w/ him and daddy... I know it's easier to have them in bed but try as hard as you can to not do it or try like everyone else is saying and move them to a crib at a few months old...

Lydia - posted on 11/13/2008

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I second the advice not to sleep on the couch with your baby - it's dangerous, as he could get his face stuck between the cushions. If you have a firm mattress with tight fitting sheets, no gaps between the mattress and headboard, and keep pillows and blankets away from baby's head, sleeping in the same bed with your baby should be safe. Unless you are using alcohol or drugs that may make you sleep heavier than usual, you won't roll over on your baby any more than you would roll off the edge of the bed.

Sabrina and Gayle, if you're worried about your husbands sleeping next to the baby, consider putting a guard rail on your side of the bed, and have baby sleep between you and the rail, instead of between you and your husband.

Brenda - posted on 11/13/2008

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This is my second baby, and he is much more of a cuddler than our first son. Some nights my husband had to hold him on his chest for a little while until he went to sleep. Of course some nights he stayed there for several hours because my husband also fell asleep. He does sleep well in his bassinet though. He just doesn't like his back as much as he does his tummy.

If this is your first child it is harder, because you (at least I did) wake up at any little peep of noise. Our first son spit up so much that I was always worried he would choke on his spit up laying on his back. As was said before, it will become a habit, and it will be harder to get him to sleep by himself. Rock him, pat him... whatever it takes, eventually you will be able to get a better nights sleep too! I am guessing at almost 6 weeks he is probably sleeping longer anyway.

Gayle - posted on 11/13/2008

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I don't let my son sleep with us but I do put him in his car seat. He was born 10-13-08 and is only getting up one time in the night. I am getting much better sleep this way. I am not saying that the car seat is any better, at some point it is going to be just as hard to break him from this routine but my husband works very long hours and I am so afraid he will roll over or throw his arm over him or something that I would prefer not having him in our bed.

Melissa - posted on 11/12/2008

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We're sleeping with ours as well and she's 5 weeks (first time mom also). We tried the bassinet next to the bed, and it works for naps and for the first half of the night. Then I bring her in for her feeding and she stays with me until we get up...I need to get up and re-swaddle her because by then her arms are free so I know she doesn't sleep as deep or as long. Swaddling is huge too, we thought she didn't like it, but now we understand she sleeps better and longer when she's tightly swaddled. I've read a lot and somewhere around 6 weeks is the soonest they get on a sleep schedule and so I'm not doing anything different before then. And I agree, the first two months are about survival and whatever helps you sleep so you can take good care of your baby is fine. Good luck!

Latoya - posted on 11/12/2008

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I'm having the same problem. I'm also a first time mommy. My daughter is a little of 3 weeks, but she doesn't like sleeping in her bassinet. So my husband and I have been letting her sleep with us. She loves it! She'll sleep for 3-4 hours (before she would only sleep aboout every 1-2 hours if even that) and then want to feed. I just hope I'm not creating a problem as well. Eventually I hope she'll enjoy sleeping on her own. So my husband and I agree on waiting until she's a little older and then putting her back to sleep in her own bed.

Jessica - posted on 11/11/2008

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It is so great to hear that I am not the only one that does this. There is so many things that you worry about being a first time mom, it feels nice to know that I am not alone and that what I am doing is acceptable amoung others and that cosleeping has worked out in their favor as well. Thank you.

User - posted on 11/10/2008

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I have co-slept with all of my kids. This is our fith. Please Do Not worry about being able to get them out. All four of my older kids happily and swiftly sleep in their own beds and through the night. In fact I don't know of many kids that sleep better. I think that if they are taught that sleep is a good and happy thing they will keep that attitude throughout their lives. All of my children go to sleep much easier then some of their cousins who have not had the co-sleeping in their early years.

Babies do not have to be like adults right now. Yes you will eventually have to transition them, you will also have to transition them to going potty in the potty, eating solids, and a hundred other things. But no one suggests that you start them on the potty and solid food right now because it's not age appropriate. Sleeping with their parents is age appropriate right now. They sleep better and do better overall.



Good luck and congrats!

Sabrina - posted on 11/08/2008

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I sleep with my baby everynight. When they are this young there is no problem with doing that. This is my second baby and i did the hole tip toe thing with my first son... When you have them in bed with you it makes feeding allot easier and it also allows you to get more rested! i see no problem with it! My husband is good enough to sleep on the couch during this time because he is scared he'll roll on the baby lol I say Do whatever works best for you!!! a happy mamma is a happy baby!!!

Stefanie - posted on 11/08/2008

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I DO! I love it, we get so much more sleep this way! I will admit, I haven't really tried to get my son to sleep in his bassinet (a co-sleeper) b/c he wakes up as soon as someone stops touching him, lol. I would encourage you to read up on co-sleeping safety though. It really is not very safe to sleep on the couch with your infant, but much safer in your own bed, or on a mattress on the floor. I definitely don't think you are ruining any possibility of getting him back to his crib, like another poster said, it is all about survival right now, and you can transition him later. ;)

Brandis - posted on 11/08/2008

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I co-slept with my first, and here is my advice; think about what you want in the long run and work towards that goal. If you (and your husband) are okay with your kids in your bed indefinately, don't worry. If you don't want to be stuck sleeping on the couch with your baby for a year (or longer!) then you DON'T have to stop doing it now. Right now we're all in survival mode. I'm all for doing what you have to do to make it through the first two months. But once baby is 2 1/2 to 3 months old, unless you're co-sleeping as a parenting philosophy (which is fine, it's just not best for everyone), you need to start moving to the crib. I moved my older child at this age and we had no problems with the move, other than my own sadness at her leaving my bed. But, since I knew it was best for everyone I "manned up" and did it, and now she is 2 and has the best sleep habits and we are totally happy with the situation (and I am greatful I stuck with it now that I have a new baby!).



If you want to sleep in your bed and aren't comfortable with your baby in bed with you you may want to invest in a co-sleeper- it's a basinet that straps to the side of your bed and one side folds down so you have easy access to baby at night. My new baby sleeps in one (we had it for our first, but she hated it- he, on the other hand, doesn't sleep any better with me than without me, which is nice- we're having other sleep issues but I'm going to post them seperate) and it's really nice- I just reach over, pull him into bed to nurse, then put him back. I only have to get up to change diapers.



Also, try swaddling at night if you aren't already. I swear by kidopotomas swaddling blankets, they have saved my sanity with both babies. Swaddled he may not be so dependant on you to sleep. Oh, and make sure he's not sleeping with your boob in his mouth, unless you're okay with being a pacifier. He'll get used to that, too, and then you won't be able to get him to sleep any other way. I think that's way harder a habit to break than co-sleeping.

Lauren - posted on 11/08/2008

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Yeah I do the same thing. It just makes things much easier on me. My son is the same way. If hes sleeping in his own bed hes constantly waking up but when hes sleeping next to me he will sleep 3-5 hrs at a time and I'm the one having to wake him up to make sure he gets fed. I also find myself sleeping better when hes next to me. When hes not next to me I tend to wake up every 5 min or so to check on him.

Wendi - posted on 11/08/2008

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Have you tried swaddling? We swaddle our 2 week old and she sleeps for 3-4 hours at a time in her crib. Some babies really like it.

Jessica - posted on 11/07/2008

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Thanks all for the replys! I think I will continue to have him sleep with me until he is 2 months and then I will try to do the transition. It is just so hard having him in his crib because I spend more time awake listening to the monitor for breathing issues or choking after feedings (I am a worry wort) I think it will be easier once I am off leave because then I can make my husband help me more.. right now I am doing all the wake ups because he has to work in the morning.

Blanca - posted on 11/07/2008

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I have a 5 week old son! He has been sleeping with me off and on for the whole time. At the hospital ALL the nurses tell you not to but if your exhausted and just want some relief I say go for it! I have one of those pack-n-plays with a bassinet next to my bed. The 3 am feeding is usually when he fusses and he stays in bed with us. I dont know what'll happen later. We'll see what happens when he gets older!

LaJeana - posted on 11/07/2008

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I sleep with my 3 week old girl. She won't sleep any way but on her stomach unless she's being held, so she sleeps in the bed with me so I can keep an eye on her and hear her more easily. I haven't even attempted the crib yet. We're going to start the first full week after she hits a month old. We'll see how it goes...

Lois - posted on 11/07/2008

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I hate admitting it but yes I have my baby sleep with me at night. She's 3 weeks old too and it's the only way I get any sleep. We did the same thing with my son, now almost 4 but had to have him "Cry it out" to teach him how to fall asleep on his own when he was about 9 months old. I'm nursing as well so that makes for more awakenings through out the night. So many say it isn't safe but some say it may be safer. I've read before that they don't sleep as deeply when they're next to you so it actually lowers the chance of SIDS because they don't get into that really deep sleep that they believe is part of the cause. If it's the only way to get any sleep then I say it works!!! You can worry about it being a sleep crutch when you get to that point. Besides I'm starting to wonder if kids ever really sleep through the night, my son still wakes up most nights.

Kylie - posted on 11/06/2008

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My baby boy is 3 weeks old too and i find he sleeps very well with me too. It is because they have been with you for 9 months and they feel secure next to you. Even though he slept well it is not a good habbit to get into so i kept putting him in his cradle. Try putting a jumper that smells like you inhis crib and i sometimes play calming music. my baby only wakes up 2 or 3 times through the night now. I know it is so good having them sleep next to you but you tend not to sleep as well when they are next to you and you dont want to be having them still do that in 6 months time. Good luck.

Josephine - posted on 11/06/2008

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I've bought a bassinet for my newborn and the first night we took her home she did the same, sleep 1-2 hours at a time. We finally decided to have her sleep in the bed and she sleeps much longer in between feeding. I find that she feels more comfortable sleeping with mommy and daddy, but at times I get apprehensive about rolling over on her. =( I just bought a co sleeper from babies r us and it's basically a little elevated mat with padded cushions on each side so she doesn't turn over. It's been working ok, we plan on putting her back in her crib when she gets older though.

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