help me with my new husbands ex??

Lizzy - posted on 09/12/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )

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hi im liz am i just got married to a man who has 3 girls one 14 one 10 and one 9 now me and there mom dont get along very well im not sure why cause i have no problems with her at all i love her kids and ive known them since they where 9 5 and 4 i guess it started when the youngst one call me mommy but she was only 5 at the time i never asked her too and when she did her sisters started to too and i sat down with them and told them that it was so sweet of them to call me that they could call me mommy mom stepmom or just Liz and id be happy anyways so the weekend was over and they went back to there moms and then she called my husband and yelled at him saying the oldist said i was forcing them to call me mommy and she went on and on and on then the next weekend they came over we asked her why she said that and she said she was just telling her that they were having fun and it just came out of our youghst so they thoutgh it was funny and called me that to and she had told her that i told them they didnt have to call me mom that i knew i wasnt there mom and they knew that but she said her mom got so mad at them that she grounded them and told them never to call me that again...now me and the oldist where like great buddies she love to go everwhere with me but now that shes 14 and her mom tells her things that arnt true :( and that if she ever heard them call me mom or anything like that they would be in big trouble but she makes them call her new husband dad and tells them that there real dad isnt anymore so now the oldist is going along with it and wont talk to her dad or come over or anything with us because of the thing her mom has said...and now hat me and my husband are trying to have a baby its gotten so bad she tells them that he dose want them and that he has a new life...WTF?!?! really?!? omg and the oldist belives her!! what should we do?? they want a new brother or sister but they dont know what to think about what there mom says... and what about when the new baby comes?? i dont want it to call me Liz how do i stop that i dont want my kids to be confused??

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Alisha - posted on 09/13/2011

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This really sounds like a similar situation that I am in. My husbands ex freaked out when and said that I am forcing (step son) to call me mom. I am not of coarse, but I just told him he can call me mom or whatever he wants at our house but he might hurt his mom's feelings if he does it at home. I also have kids from a previous marriage so I know what it feels like being the biological mom also... I found this article that helped get a better understanding of where she is coming from. And if at all possible tell her your intentions, and have your husband tell the oldest. This article talks about how important it is for the bio dad to spend alone time with them. http://lisahwarren.hubpages.com/hub/Ex-w...

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