My 17 month old is into everything how do I stop him from destroying my house?

Diana - posted on 04/18/2013

My son is 17 months and is very defiant and strong willed. He also grabs the remote and cell phone and either runs away from us, or throws it. I've actually given him the same exact remote but with no batteries, and an old cell phone, but of course he doesn't want it. It's so frustrating because whatever I try to do, it doesn't work. This is not just with the remote but with stuff that could hurt him. I tried smacking the hand, redirecting, doing A LOT of stuff to keep him active in hopes it would tire him out. I haven't tried the time out thing yet. I don't know what to do. Everything is a fight with him, except bed time. He hits, kicks and throws temper tantrums when trying to change his diaper or clothes, which it's obviously is a routine. Any ideas?! I'm desperate.

Diana - posted on 04/18/2013

My son is 17 months and is very defiant and strong willed. He also grabs the remote and cell phone and either runs away from us, or throws it. I've actually given him the same exact remote but with no batteries, and an old cell phone, but of course he doesn't want it. It's so frustrating because whatever I try to do, it doesn't work. This is not just with the remote but with stuff that could hurt him. I tried smacking the hand, redirecting, doing A LOT of stuff to keep him active in hopes it would tire him out. I haven't tried the time out thing yet. I don't know what to do. Everything is a fight with him, except bed time. He hits, kicks and throws temper tantrums when trying to change his diaper or clothes, which it's obviously is a routine. Any ideas?! I'm desperate.

Anne-Marie - posted on 03/03/2012

wow after reading all this im some what worried my son is only 14months and is sending me crazy, he is baby number 4 for us and i have tried all of the above concepts of teaching him that he cant break all the verticle blinds and hit the T.V, i have safe guarded my home and put most things up out of his reach, but with little or no sucess, if this is what he is like at 14months im very worried about what to expect when he is 18months.

Sheree - posted on 05/07/2010

I have the same problem. My house is what they call "Open Plan". The kitchen is my biggest problem because he has worked out he can open the oven, drawers and fridge. I've tried to distract him, change toys, replace or substitute with pretend versions of phone and remote( he wants the real one and chucks tantrums when he can't have it). Boys tends to have lots of energy but every child is just learning and copying what you do. Hope you find some good advice that helps.

Kimbeley - posted on 04/27/2010

What about trying a more gentle approach? I know that sounds like your going backwards, but it may be worth a try? For example (I'll call your son x for these examples):

Your son grabs your cell phone. Pick a toy up (we'll say you picked up a ball for this example). Get down on his level, and say to him "no, this is mummy's phone. Would you like a ball?" When he takes the ball (which he hopefully will) say to him "oh yay, you have a ball. x's ball. Mummy's phone".

What is it about the phone and the remote he likes? Is it the buttons? Have you got something else with buttons that can be on hand for swapping with the real thing (a toy phone or something similar)?

Otherwise, I would recommend having a special place that is just for 'adult things' like phones. Make it that if you put things in this place, he is not to touch them. Personally, in my house things that are in the living areas are okay to be touched by my son, it means that he is able to explore the environment without fear of 'what can i touch and what will get me in trouble'.

Lisa - posted on 04/27/2010

my daughter is 18months and very similar she is a very very busy little girl. i also do family day care and look after another toddler the same age. to stop the girls getting into things they arent meant to ive installed childproof gates to rooms like the kitchen to stop them getting into the cupboards i know how hard and frustrating it is when they get the remotes or mobiles etc but i just keep taking them off the girls and i have been teaching them "Dont Touch" its taken a while but there are things that they go to touch and all i have to say is dont touch and they seem to pick up to leave it alone. also distraction is a GREAT technique when they are getting into mischief i get an activity out to keep them busy like paper and pencils.... or reading books, puzzles etc. sometimes the naughty behaviour at this age is just to get out attention telling us they want some time. hope this helps.

Larissa - posted on 04/25/2010

My18 monthold does the same thing he has tons of toys evn real no longer working cell phones and remotes but still seems to like ours better! He also knows that the remotes make the tv change! I cannot let him play with my phone because he calls people! I do smack his hand and move him away and I usually try to find something of his similar to play with. I disagree with the moving your house around I think they need to learn that some things are not for them to touch if they don't how will you evr be able to visit someone elses house wiothout them destroying it! My advice is be consistant whatever he can't have don't ever let him have no means no.

Shana - posted on 04/23/2010

Children at this age are exploring. They are trying to grasp the difference between what they can not do and what they can do. My 18 month old son is the same way. We have baby proofed, everything including the TV (locked the front panel). I allow him to explore around the house. With little limitation (no messing with certain things etc). As he gets older, we will adjust the limitation to fit his age and developmental stage. The phone, you can lock. Or buy one of those cheap toy phones. I actually let my son hold my phone from time to time. He usually calls his nana, pops (grand dad) or his great grand dad. Aside from that he has lost interest in the phone. As for pots and pans and such I let him explore with those.

Letting a child explore helps them at this stage of development. Set boundaries, so that your child knows when your being serious and when you are playing.

DeAnne - posted on 03/29/2010

Zman is into everything as well. For me I have figured out that if "no" is not working is because he is bored with his surroundings. If I balance his day where we get out of the house each day where he can run around and explore or go to the park or I will even let him run around the mall if the weather is bad it seems to help. I also try to switch out toys so he doesnt get bored with the same thing day after day. By doing that it seemed if I said no and I redirected him to something else and he was good.

Kat - posted on 03/28/2010

Hi Tonya, I know what you are talking about. My daughter will be 18 months in a few days & she is into everything. I have put my house in order about 10 months ago when she became mobile. The house is safe, but not all our belongings can be put away. There are days when it is from 1 naughty item to the next. On others she's good. The thing that annoyed us the most was the DVD wall. She would go & pull all the dvd's out of the wall, then pull them out of their cases & leave them spread all through the house. It was dangerous as the covers slide if you step on them. The discs can break. I'm pregnant & getting up & down up & down was very exhausting. So I spent a few days focussing on that one thing - the dvd wall. What worked for me was my voice. A pretty aggressive NO voice or DON'T or LEAVE IT & then lots of praise when she chose to walk away. It was hard, I felt mean but it's worked. Now all I have to say is her name if she goes near it & she stops. I do the occasional tap on the hand, but it upsets me as I had always said I wouldn't do that. I know when I do it I do it when I'm desperate. It doesn't work anyway, she just either laughs at it or wipes it off with the other hand. They do grow out of these stages, it just "seems" to take forever. Pick your battles & always praise good behaviour.

Kim - posted on 03/27/2010

My 17 Month old boy is the same - but we have re-arranged the house - give him a remote without batteries and phone with no SIM - my son knows the difference between toys and the real thing - but he is happy playing with the ones i give him - even if they dont work! Let them explore and learn - playing with a phone that is charged but cant make calls is perfect as they learn about cause and effect..
Good luck and enjoy them at this age - it gets harder!!

Thamar - posted on 03/26/2010

I've noticed that my son wants the things he sees us using most often, remote, phones, coffee maker.... I'm trying to accomodate his desire to learn about what we are doing. I let him use the remote, he mostly just points it at the TV. I let him play with my phone. They are not trying to be "bad." This is normal and in their genes to learn about what we are doing. If you block this too much this will foster a lot of frustration for your son, which will be frustrating for you. Try to turn "no" into "yes" as often as you can. If my son wants to throw something, I just take it away and give him a soft ball instead. Good luck!

Mary Grace - posted on 03/26/2010

i also do tapping my son on hands when he do no things!but i really really feel bad about that after i tapp him.maybe your kid needs lots of attentions! thats why he do things so he can catch yours!.try to make lot of fun w/ ur kid and say very good if he do good things!instead of saying no always!.it works w/ my boy hope it works w/ u too.

PAULENE - posted on 03/25/2010

I was like you constantly tapping my little one on hand and saying no all the time. Then I read somewhere to accomodate your house to your child so he can playn safely in the home and only say 'no' and smack him when he is endangering himself. So I moved my house around a bit and put things away and out of reach. Yeah our house is a little on the bare side but my child can now play and I am less stressed. Trust me there are still things he touches that I can do nothing about like the sky box and changing the channel. So I always divert his attention to a toy. Tonight i blew up a balloon. For 2 hours this kept him amused. Some times just the simple things. Just think its not forever that they will be like this and its a whole new world they are entering now.

Lisa - posted on 03/25/2010

So is my daughter I can not blink or she is into something else. I clean she destroys everything

Penny - posted on 03/25/2010

i totally agree with september wilson. my son is 17mnths old and into everything but i dont care he is learning about his environment and wants to be like mommy n daddy, i just ensure anything valuable or unsafe is out of reach. at the end of the day, when he goes to bed you can do a quick tidy and vac and its back to normal. i love the cheeky side eyed grin he gives me when he is about to get upto mischief. i know its easy to get stressed but you have to re-programme the way you think and just say to yourself 'what harm is he really doing'.

September - posted on 03/24/2010

My gosh he is only 17 months old and exploration at this age is completely normal! If I were you I'd be encouraging exploration (safely of course). At this stage in life, in my opinion I would discourage the smacking of the hand, he is too young to know why you're hitting him. I personally do not agree with physical punishment. When our son first starting crawling we had to completely rearrange our entire home not to only make it safe for our son but to also put things away that he is not allowed to play with, that is our reasonability as parents. What works well for our son is distraction. If our son is messing with something that he is not suppose to I tell him "that is not a toy" and I engage his attention elsewhere. Maybe you could try that technique. Good luck!

Claire - posted on 03/23/2010

Our little guy understands "no" but still throws an occasional tantrum. His time-outs are in the pack n play because he thinks the corner is somehow the funniest place in the world -- all he does there is laugh. Smacking his hand isn't abusive, in my opinion, but if it hasn't worked yet, it's not going to work.

Your little guy needs some boundaries. Help him learn that he has his own toy phone and remote to play with and that the real ones are for the grown-ups. If that means you have to put them on the counter until he figures it out, go for it. He will outgrow it, I promise. We also have a two and a half year old who learned quickly that she is not to touch the phones or remote unless she's passing them to us.

Good luck.