Starting Day Care

Terri - posted on 07/15/2010

Hi, I started work about 3 wks ago. After being w/ my 21 month old all day everyday since birth! The longest period of time we were apart was 8 hrs. So daycare was a huge adjustment.
I say the best thing to do is to make sure you have a good attitude. Your child will feel your feelings of anxiety and it will go all wrong. So I say stay as strong and positive as possible.
BTW Aila did awesome! She loves her teachers and friends. I on the other hand have to fight the urge to take a lunch break and go get my child and never clock back in. Congrats on the new job and grown up time. You'll both be fine. PS make sure you do your research on the facilities that will make it an easier transition. Good luck!

Nancy - posted on 07/14/2010

My son went at 6 months, but he still got to an age when he didn't like me leaving him and would cling to me and cry, so I'd take the time to hang out and get him started playing, then sneak out when he wasn't looking. The ladies said he never noticed and was fine. Some other days he'd cry, so the staff would hold him distract him and tell me later that as soon as I was out of sight, he would stop and go play. It's harder on us than them. You're baby will be fine.

Paula - posted on 07/12/2010

It takes time and after about 2 weeks, you will settle more within yourself and be stronger when you leave. Nothing anyone can say will take away how you feel when you first start dropping her there because it basically rips at your heart strings BUT it does ease after a while and you both get used to it. I try to think of it this way, my child is getting to do much more interesting things at daycare than I do in my home AND learning how to share and interact with others. I believe its a good thing, especially if you have to work for your family and keep your home and put food on the table. Your child will be no worse off for you needing to provide and they have an absolute ball.....the only thing I dislike about it is the constant runny nose that keeps coming home with him (haha)....but, its also good for the immune system....eventually. Good luck. You will get over that bad feeling before you know it.

Haleena - posted on 07/12/2010

You r lucky...My son and daughter are in the childcare centre at my own workplace. I cannot pass by the girl's infantcare because she just knew it's me and start to cry badly...my boy took 2 months before he settled down..now if he sees me,he just said Mama and continue to pay attention to the Teacher's lesson.

Shana-Lee - posted on 07/11/2010

My son started daycare maybe 1 month ago, I found it a bit emotional for myself, but I never showed him and greeted him with kisses and hugs because I missed him so much during the day. To ease him off me, b4 I started working full time I took him 2 weeks prior and stayed a few hours everyday together, and purposely said goodbye just to see what he'd do. And to my suprise he waved goodbye and refused to come home with me. When he fully started I'd stay for 30mins and leave quietly, looking at him now he absolutely LOVES it.

Tracey - posted on 07/10/2010

as long as she's had a settling in period it'll be fine. most childcare settings do this and some childminders do it as well, u can always give the setting a call during the day to see how things are going.

Crystal - posted on 07/07/2010

what I have found from experience from helping my mother run her day care, is to let your child see you leave. Give them kisses and hugs and tell them Mommy will be back, it reassures them for when you do go back to pick them up. When you sneak out and your child can't find you they go into panic mode, even at 20 months. They might cry when you leave but I can guarantee they quit as soon as you drive away.

Jennifer - posted on 07/07/2010

I just placed my daughter in daycare two weeks ago. I wasn't so much concerned about leaving her, because as others said the rating of the daycare was high and it came highly recommended by other daycare owners and friends.

I thought of her all day for the last two weeks (how was she adjusting, coping with detachment, learning, etc), and to ease my mind I received daily reports on my child progress, which you could ask for to help ease your mind.

On those mornings that my daughter was struggling to let her father or I leave, we both just sat down with her and joined in with the activity to calm her insecurities. Within in a few minutes we would both ask her if we could go to work. By that time she was engaged and comforted, as were we, and we a content child.

Again, in time they become more confident, but they still need reassurance time to time that they are going to be safe and you should do anything that works to ensure this for your child.

Belinda - posted on 07/07/2010

when I started my boys I took them the day I signed the paperwork and spent 30 minutes playing there with them then we went home. The first day they were fine all day without tears. Day two the 3 year old was fine and has been fine since.
The 21 month old day 2 cried at goodbye but they say recovered after 5 minutes, day 3 he cried as he walked in but was fine after those 5 minutes - but the look on his face shook me up all day and I cried at work!! From day 4 and 5 his father took him to shake it up for him as I couldn't handl it. Now when I take him I spend a little time walking around and saying hello to everyone, then i ask him which are his favourite toys and he shows me the toys. Now I also get someone to put him in the high chair or hold him so I can I leave. They say that he is fine within a minute of my going. I try to talk openly about what I'm doing. Pack the day bag the night before and let her help pack. Talk it up with people "she goes to school and she loves it, the teachers think she's so helpful!" and if you talk it up she'll come around.
Good luck

Briana - posted on 07/07/2010

start a routine on the first day! stay with her a few minutes then kiss her and tell her bye bye. unless, like mine, she goes in and finds something to play with and forgets you. still kiss her and say bye though. I worked in a child care center for years and found a routine works well. it will be harder for you than her. the first day of "school" for my 20 month old was pretty traumatic for me, but he walked in like he owned the place and made himself at home. he walked in and was happily playing almost immediately. i said bye and kissed him and he just made his little face that he makes at home when i am "interrupting" his play time. luckily my kiddo is pretty comfortable in almost any situation or place. hes just that kind of kid.

Judith - posted on 07/06/2010

Thanks Everyone....my daughter started day care (half day this week and full day next week onwards) yesterday. It has been eventful so far...yesterday was okay..We heard from her teachers that she was a little upset after about an hour we left...didn't want to eat her snacks or juice but was okay...there were less kids 4 actually since it was holiday. Today - she was okay when we left - no cries or fuss...she went inside the room to meet other children and we called and said 'Bye' and left....this facility that she goes has a web cam through we can see her classroom..around 10 AM we noticed that her dress was changed...so called out of concern and her teacher said...today she got upset after an hour and then started crying and freaking out...threw up..and then refused her snack and drink....but after which she made few friends and was okay....she was very dehydrated when we picked her at 11:30 AM...

I am keeping my fingers crossed and saying few prayers hoping that tomorrow will be a better day!

Cortney - posted on 07/06/2010

My son just started daycare last month. It was so hard for me! I cried the first day! He had been with family since he was born. So it was very hard! Just don't let your toddler see you upset. When I started to cry I gave him a hug and kiss and told him bye (his daddy stayed in there though.) He still cries sometimes in the morning but we stand outside the door and he cries less than 30 seconds!! He seems to enjoy it alot though. He is starting to talk alot more & starting to do alot more new stuff!! Just be strong, it was way harder on me letting him go to daycare then it was on him lol! My son was bitting @ first. But now he is okay. On the way to daycare every morning I talk to him about having a good day! Then when we pick him up I praise him on having a good day! It will be a new environment so everyone will have to get use to it! Just stay strong! :) It has helped him learn to get along with other children too. He was mainly only around adults or older children. Good luck!! :) Hope everything goes good!!

Abigail - posted on 07/06/2010

Like everyone is saying toddlers usually do settle down within a few moments after the parent leaves. For the first few times I brought my son to day care he screamed when I would go to leave, but each day got a little better and now he practically pushes me out the door... lol. Just make sure to make your goodbyes quick- otherwise it will confuse and distress your toddler. Pretty soon she will understand that you will always come back for her. My son actually runs away from me now when I go to pick him up because he doesn't want to leave. Just remember that the process of leaving her and coming back every day to pick her up teaches her to trust you all the more and become more secure with herself. Don't stress too much and just remember there is no harm in calling to check on her as much as you want. Most daycares will encourage you to call so that you can feel comfortable that your little one is okay, too.

Stefanie - posted on 07/04/2010

My youngest son is 20 months and will be starting daycare soon for the first time as well. I have been taking care of children in my home for the past year and in my experience, the children usually settled within a few moments of the parents leaving. It is very hard to watch your little one in distress but I assure you it is short lived. Now, that I have a taken a job outside the home, I am in the same position you ladies are in. I thought being a daycare provider myself, I would feel okay in knowing that he will be fine a few minutes after I'm out the door, but I am so stressed as well. You are not alone and rest assure that your little one will be fine. Just remind them that you will be back in a few hours and tell them about how fun much they will have at daycare. Good luck everyone!

Christy - posted on 07/03/2010

I'm putting my 20mo son in care for the first time next week too. Just 1 day a week. But, I've been looking after my nephew 2 days a week for the past couple of months. My nephew (now 15mo) SCREAMS like 'how dare you leave me here' when my sister leaves - even though he knows and loves me, but almost as soon as she's out the door, he stops and is really happy for the rest of the day - until she comes home and he cries like he's been really sad all day. (thankfully that's starting to cease a bit now and he greets me with big grins and is often too excited to get upset about mum leaving or arriving). So (and this is as much to me as you), do be strong and don't dwell too much on the sound she's making when you leave. From talking to friends who work in child care they pretty much always love it. Good luck to you and me. :)

Naomi - posted on 07/03/2010

in my experience...just let her go. I work in a day care and some parents bring their child in, stay for 5 minutes, say goodbye, hug and kiss, then leave. The child is generally ok because they have closure. There were twins that started not long ago and the parents stayed with them all day for 3 1/2 weeks! It drove us, the teachers, crazy because the kids kept running to mom or dad and didn't integrate with the class. Now that the parents FINALLY leave the kids, they are doing fine. If you need to stay with your daughter, stay no more than 1/2 hour the first day, and gradually reduce it until you can leave her quickly at the door like you will have to when you start work. My daughter (10-10-08) started camp full day (9:30-2:30) and the counselors come get her right out of the car and she practically jumps out of her car seat to go with them. I think you might need more adjustment time than your daughter will.

Naomi

Daphny - posted on 07/02/2010

It's for sure harder for you to cope with this new rountine than your baby. If you feel comfortable with the daycare from get-go then it'd be easier on your mind, and less tears, yours of course.

She'll do just fine, if not very well, as there will be new toys new games and new friends. And she'll get lots of stimulation to her body and brain as well so she'll learn so many things so fast that is going to surprise you in a very short time.

Again for yourself, get stacks of Kleenex on hand and find a good friend at work to talk to, then you'll be just alright! :)

Judith - posted on 07/02/2010

thanks Christine for the kind words....I have never really left her for a very long time with others except her dad and very occasionally her grand parents (when she was much younger - less than a year old)..with friends it has been like 15 mins or so..thats all...so I am very worried hopefully she settles down soon...

Christine - posted on 07/02/2010

You will need to be strong and make sure that your toddler does not see that you may be upset leaving her in care. They are more resilient than we think they are. I have worked with many toddlers and seperation is often harder for mum than for the child. Talk to her about all the fun things that she will be doing and about the routine things, eg "mummy will be back after you have had your lunch". Be prepared for tears but make sure you ring up during the day to see that she has settled. Give her a week or two and she should be settled. It will also depend on how often you have left her with family or friends prior to her starting in care. Good luck, let us know how she goes!