temper at 16 mnths help needed

Abigail - posted on 03/01/2010

It seems like a lot of 16 mo olds are doing this! lol.... My son started doing it a lot at one point when he did not like something. I also agree that you should walk away, but I actually tell my son that it's okay if he cries, but it's just the way it is and he will have to listen to mommy - in a very matter of fact way and then walk away. My son is in the phase in-between of being able to communicate with words or sign language and crying for what he wants, so I also try to remind him that he needs to use his words. I'll guide him through the right words if I know what it is that he wants. If he's just getting into something he's not supposed to or disobeying, I'll tell him why I don't want him in it and then just let him cry it out without giving him any attention. On the flip side, if he does listen to me I'll say "Good listening! Way to go buddy!" or something along those lines to reinforce good behavior later. It seems to really work for me. I tried being stern with him or punishing him, but that failed miserably and he would even laugh at me! lol...

Rachel - posted on 03/01/2010

hi hun, my 16 month old is currently doing it now, i have no idea why i have tried everything but she throws everything if she doesnt want it, so i have sat her on a bean chair for time out she has been the 30-35 mins and still going but im ignoring her, it shud work, ignorance or time out somewhere thats safe , i cant put cerys one a step for time out cos she would climb them lol, she is my 3rd living child hun, x

Charlotte - posted on 02/28/2010

Lily is 16 months and is very strong willed and had a temper from the beginning. I try to be firm and not shout but put on the authoritative voice and whether she understands or not explain why I have said no or why she can't have/do what she wants then ignore her while keeping an eye on her for safety or sit with her but don't talk to her until she stops, then I give her a kiss say good girl and we play or do something.

Jessi - posted on 02/27/2010

She could be teething. We just ignore it, and praise the good behavior. There's no way of getting around it. She should grow out of it. She might only be 16 months, but this is what they call the "Terrible Two's" which girls usually start going through about this age.

Good luck.

Samanther - posted on 02/27/2010

my son is 16 mo and having these tantrums too i havent really tried anything except putting him in his room at home or the pram if we are out - he has taken to biting me because he knows what im going to do and in his rage he chomps down "OUCH" i will try the method of leaving them do their own thing (the tantrum) without attention and hopefully that will work

Lucie - posted on 02/26/2010

I'm at a loss sometimes myself. My son is 16 months now and has been having fits for a few months now. If he can't get something he wants, he arches his back, goes limp in the legs, and screams his head off, flailing his arms. I've tried laying him down on the floor and walking away from him. It's not always effective for him, but it helps keep me calm. I've put him in a quick 'time out' in his playpen or crib, and it takes him a while to calm down - but it usually just means he cries for a long time. I've read it's not a good idea to ignore them and walk away, because they're frustrated they can't communicate with you. What seems to work best, over time now, is explaining that he did something wrong when trying a punishment, and when he calms down to explain what he did wrong and why it's not nice to do it. At this age they understand more of what we say than we realize. I came to that realization when I said "it's not nice to hurt mommy" with a calm voice when he hit me, and he burst out crying.

Laura - posted on 02/26/2010

I just ignore my son and keep doing whatever I was doing, washing the dishes etc, once he figures out that I am not paying him any attention he stops instantly. The time that he does that now is usually just a couple of mins. Give them what they do not expect.

Emma - posted on 02/26/2010

i have exactly the same problem and i just left him to it as most of the time he does it when we are at home anyway and he tends to stop if it doesn't get him attention

Kimi - posted on 02/25/2010

My daughter throws fits and like one mom mentioned often i let her fuss and walk away. However, I do talk to her like she is much older. she just wants to be understood. She understands way more than she can communicate. I validate her feelings...ie I know you want to write right now but we are making dinner. then I tell her we will have art time soon. The understanding is what they need and the attention. I have also started teaching her sign language. This is the most tremendous help. I wish I had learned it with my older four!

Nina - posted on 02/25/2010

I look my son in the eys and say tell him to stop and calm down. He usually does straight away, but if he doesn't he goes in hisporta cot til he calms down. ALthough we are going to have to find a corner or spot, as we have another coming in 9 weeks.

Amanda - posted on 02/25/2010

I also use the corner. I have also been told to just ingore her when throws a temper tantrum. by acknowledging it it could make it worse

Anne-marie - posted on 02/25/2010

my little boy is also 16 mths he has major tantrums i just let him carry on then when he realises im not paying any attention to him he stops

Dorothy - posted on 02/25/2010

I also have a 16 mo old daughter born 5/10/08, she has also started tantrums and screaming fits! fortunatly not too often she is usually very happy. she is very stubborn and thats where the tantrums come in, she likes to climb on the furniture and stand up on the arm of the chair or sofa, since she has a pacemaker i'm concerned about her falling off, when i try to get her down she laughs at me and shakes her finger, she wont even listen to dad, we have now taught her to climb down carefully instead of head first so that helps, also at dinner time she would throw her food on the floor, we now have her in a booster seat at the table, she is at the same height as the rest of the family at the table and we have taught her to put her food back on the plate. we encouraged her to behave by telling her "good girl" when she does the right thing, she now says it herself and is very proud of herself this way she sort of polices herself, i find it very difficult to reason with a young child and find something on thier level more effective like an appropriate reward system for good behaviour. good luck

Emma - posted on 02/25/2010

hey thanks will certainly b trying alot of thngs, roll on terrible 2s lol

Talia - posted on 02/24/2010

Most of the time when my 16 month old starts throwing a temper tantrum, I make sure she's safe when she throws herself on the floor and then I walk away. The tantrum is usually over in less than 30 seconds when I do this. Then we just go about whatever we were doing.

Jaime Camille - posted on 02/24/2010

I just went through a bought of that with my daughter. I would try to change her attention to something else. If that didn't work and she would start throwing herself to the floor or banging her head, I would put her in her crib (without her binky) and let her know that I would come back when she stopped crying. I would go back after 2 minutes regardless of whether or not she was done screaming. I would pick her up and tell her to stop crying and by calm and that I love her but she needs to do what I say. It seems to work.

Felicia - posted on 02/24/2010

my son is the same way! he is 16mo and throws fun little tantrums! he doesnt listen to me at all but he def listens to dad! he giggles the entire time he is doing somehting wrong...one thing that does help me sometimes is discouragement. or change out what he is interested in with something they are allowed to be interested in and stay constant!

Kelly - posted on 02/24/2010

Gosh my son wouldnt stay in the corner lol. We have tried this and he just laughs and gets up. I put him back there about 30 times and he still didn't get the message. Not looking forward to the terrible twos. They couldn't get any worse then this could they? lol

Ambra - posted on 02/24/2010

My little girl started throwing fits also and we started sitting her in the corner. Not for a very long time, just for a few minutes. Then as soon as the temper is over we let her get up. Now if she starts all we have to say is "Do you want to go to the corner?" It really helped us!!!!