I am just wondering

[deleted account] ( 12 moms have responded )

If anyone else is in a similar situation to myself where their beliefs differ from their spouse's/significant other.

I am Pagan and my husband is Anglican. We had a blended wedding which included a traditional hand fasting within.

How would you suggest explaining religion to your children as they get older in this situation?

Currently our son is on 22 months old. We celebrate both the Pagan and the Christian holidays and are fortunate enough that both our immediate families are either open minded (his) or Pagan themselves (mine).

-Nicole

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Laura - posted on 08/26/2010

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I'm Pagan, my husband considers himself Agnostic, and our daughter is being raised Unitarian Universalist! My husband and I also are members of and attend our local UU church. I'm actively invloved in our church's CUUPs (Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans) group. We celebrate a mix of Pagan and Christian holidays, primarily because of extended family that is Christian.

(Shameless plug here!): Unitarian Universalists have some terrific curriculum for kids that they teach in "Sunday School"--or as UU's call it--Religious Education. Our daughter has learned about Paganism, Judism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism...and starting this week, she and I will be participating in VBS for the whole family, learning about various Bible stories. The point that UU's want to make with their kids is that there are many paths to the Divine and you can only make good choices if you are informed. Ultimately the goal is for UU kids to make up their own minds...

Amy - posted on 09/10/2010

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I'm 39 and I thought I had religion all figured out: ahem...there was one GodDESS and no male Gods and for me, I had simply "chosen" to picture her as the Greek Goddess Artemis because it was poetic for me to do so. Hmm....that became problematic when the Goddess Persephone decided to wander into my life. She was a Goddess to be sure, but she wasn't Artemis and...oddly...she's very much in love with her husband...the GOD Hades...minor crisis of faith...my point with my colorful story is that religion is a life process. It's a journey, and it can change. Have fun celebrating your family faiths with your child. I would suggest you tell them what moves you to practice your faith. When I talk to my son I tell him how I was called to Artemis to serve and protect (I'm a police officer) I am her modern Amazon. Persephone came to me to address my dark past and helped me to see a bright future. Personally, I think Paganism is more appealing to children. We practice magic, believe in fairies and we don't generally believe in sin and damnation. You might want to discuss this with your husband so that he doesn't become hurt if your child favors Paganism. I am now of the belief that there isn't simply one Goddess, but there are infinate number of Gods and Goddess that call to certain people. The Christian God will either call to your child or he won't. Your particular Gods and Goddess may not call to your child either. But don't be afraid to give spiritual lessons to your child, if it comes from the divine it is a lesson worth teaching.

Sereena - posted on 07/22/2010

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I am not in this situation but I have a friend who has figured this out on his side, its not the same situation but could help. hes a single father and is wiccan, he doesnt believe in forcing a religion on his kids so what he did when they were old enough was had a talk with each of them seprately about religion. telling them to study different religions and explore, he also offered to help them out with their studies of religions. he told them when they find the right one for them they will just know and feel at peace with it as he does with wicca. they know daddys religion but he made sure that religion is a personal thing not a family agreement. in saying this him and his kids do celebrate the wiccan holidays and are willing to celebrate other religious holidays when his kids find their religion so far his oldest has picked a religion which is wicca but made sure daddy understood it wasnt just because daddys wicca. it helps his kids and they honestly are open to all religions and are comfortable talking about them. hope it helps some what :) good luck!

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April - posted on 11/15/2011

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We live the same way...I am Wiccan and my late husbands family are christian. My girls go down to NJ several times a year and will go to church with them and when they are home with me, will practice Wicca with me. I decided a long time ago that I will let my girls decide what religion they want to be as they grow. I have explained to them as they got old enough to understand what Wicca is and "our" beliefs and they are told and explained when they are down in NJ with their family what Christianity is. I believe that they are leaning towards Wicca but I will not make them choose MINE just because "i said so"....They get both sides of the coin and will be able to make an informed decision when they are of age to. either way, I will love and adore them because its their choice to decide what they want to believe in.

Kellie - posted on 10/31/2011

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I'm Pagan and my Husband is non-church attending Christian. His version of Christianity is totally Personal, he is VERY religious, in his own way :) He's very supportive of my beliefs and convictions and faith. He is also very adamant that we raise our 4 amazing kids to be Open and Honest and have more Value's and Moral's rather than one specific Religion. I love knowing that we aren't the only couple that are considered "odd ball" relationship by the mainstream Christian's.

Allana - posted on 05/03/2011

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Im kind of in that situation, im pagan and my hubby is a "born-again" baptist (wierd combo right?) i was on the same religous level when we were married but the past year brought a lot of soul searching and i realized my true calling was not in the church. both his parents and mine are Christian along with the entirety of our families... he wont talk about how we should raise our daughter (who will be 3 in august). he evades all of my attempts at conversation about it. i dont mind raising her christian, as long as she is free to choose for herself....

my suggestion is to celebrate both! and educate where his interest is peaked, and make a point to research other religions as well so you can answer his questions arise! hope this helps :)

Janelle - posted on 08/23/2010

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Explain to your children what both religions are. And that there are also many other beliefs. Perhaps, even let them choose which religion they want to be a part of when they are old enough to understand. But there is no harm in explaining both celebrated religious holidays.

Brandy - posted on 08/21/2010

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its just what regilion or faith that they feel comfortable with my grandparents were catholic and they gave thier 8 kids their choice of reilgion and my parents were of different religions and gave me and my siblings our choice of religion. one sister is morman the other one is Catholic and my brother is christian. we all have accepted and learned from one anothers religions.

Leanne - posted on 08/17/2010

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i'm in a similar situation....while my husband is well versed on a variety of religious practices, he expressed a while ago that he'd like our son raised lutheren. while i don't really have a problem with that, the hubby hasn't been terribly helpful in picking a church or trying to attend services. since i'm not involved in a coven, i've been considering a unitarian fellowship, just so our son is exposed to christianty, as well as being taught about other spiritual paths.
sadly, my family is NOT open minded, though the husband's family is, so the celebration or mention of pagan holidays and practices are more or less on the downlow. my philosophy at this point is to teach him about spirituality, and hopefully give him a solid foundation from which he can chose his own path.

good like and best wishes!

Shannon - posted on 08/02/2010

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My name is Shannon and i was razed similar my family was Christian until i was about 13 years and then thy found the path of paganism and are still to this day. we celebrated both pagan and christian holidays b/c we have both pagan and bible thumpers in the family but we had no problem's with that..and now i have a going to be 4 on aug 29Th son and one on the way. trying to raise them pagan as we can but wan thy get older and want to explore other religions all you can to is be open minded about it and let them do what feels wright to them.....so i think try to teach him both as well as you can and wan he gets older let him decide what he wants to do!! hope this helps Shannon.. bless it be

Annmarie - posted on 08/01/2010

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Teach them both and tell them that they have freedom to choose their religion as they get older.

April - posted on 07/31/2010

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I am Pagan my S/O is Agnostic. We decided to just take each day as it comes. We generally celebrate Pagan and Christian holidays. When my daughter is old enough to understand religion we will explain our beliefs and encourage her to make up her own mind.

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