Wiccan Mom in a Christian Family

Rhianna - posted on 07/14/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Hi, I'm Rhianna, 22 years old, with a 20 month old daughter. I was raised in a VERY Christian family. While my mother didn't drag us (myself and my older brother) to church every week. We were daughter about God and Jesus. My grandmother is a very strict baptist (no woman should wear pants, being gay is a sin, etc.) and I currently live with her. However, I discovered my place in the universe and paganism when I was about 15/16. I wish to raise my daughter to understand all religions, but my family doesn't give me that space. What's worse is my stepmother who is desperately trying to get me to allow her to baptise Rin (she is a devout Catholic and knows my religious preference, but chooses to ignore it) and my father has no respect for my beliefs and is convinced I'm going to join a cult. My grandmother can't let anything go without involving Jesus, she reads the bible to Rin and has taught her "Jesus Loves Me" (a ver very annoying song if you've ever heard it). While I respect my families religious choices, they do not respect mine and I'm afraid to teach my daughter about Wicca because I do not wish to have to fight with my mother/father/stepmother/grandmother about what I believe and what I teach my daughter.

So my question is: How can I teach her these things and help her to understand that our family isn't as understanding open as we'd like, and they might not approve of the things I have to teach my daughter.

I should also note that I am very close to my family and they are extremely important to me, I don't want to estrange those closest to me over a difference in our beliefs.

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7 Comments

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Dee - posted on 12/26/2009

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I'm not one to proselytize, but not many folks know about the Unitarian Universalist Church. They are the ONLY "organized" religion that I am aware of that recognizes nature based paths (Paganism, Wicca, Druidism, Shamanism, etc.). What I have really enjoyed about the UU Fellowship that we attend is that you are able to maintain your "core" identity and still be UU. There are UU Christians and UU Catholics, UU Baptists. I personally identify as UU Pagan as I am Pagan, but also believe in the UU Principles and it helps my husband and I worship together (as he is a newer Pagan as was Baptist until 4 years ago) as we are able to fellowship with our UU family on Sundays each week (most folks are used to gathering on Sunday mornings! LOL) and there are also many programs available for children and families through local UU Congregations. I would recommend checking out the UUs for yourself. Visit www.uua.org *whispers* This may make it easier for your family if they see you attending "church" every sunday! LOL

Kathryn - posted on 11/07/2009

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I would start with the basics, pretty much the beginning. My family is also VERY religious. My mother teaches sunday school if that tells you anything. Where my mother has accepted the fact that my husband and i are pagan she refuses to allow my son (he is 2) to follow in our foot steps (or go to hell as she says). I sat down with my parents one at a time (it prevented them form ganging up on me) and explained to them what i wanted for my son. I have no plans to FORCE my son into ANY beliefs and i would like that to be followed. My parents are more than welcome to TALK to my son about it. my mom even brings him to church with her once a month. Yet she does have to clear EVERYTHING she tells him with me FIRST( i.e the songs they are very annoying not just christian ones but the ones that repeat in general). i was raised Lutheran. And i mean to the EXTREME, church EVERY Sunday with Sunday school and even our 'summer camps' were held by the church. i went thru the 'fight' of baptizing my son about a year ago. I pointed out to my family that he is not hold enough to understand what is going on and if HE chooses to be baptized later in life then we can but before that point bottom line no. considering that i very close to my family i know how to talk to each of them in a way that they will listen and understand. i hope this may help you.

Tiffany - posted on 08/29/2009

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I am Wiccan and also in a Christian/Catholic family. I love my family very much, and they respect my choice in beliefs. I know it can be hard. My daughter is three and I really dont teach her about religions at this point. I do allow my mother to take her to church, I have no problem with that. She's too young to really know whats going on anyway, all she knows is that she gets to play, sing, and dance with other kids.



Personally, when I feel the time is right for her to make her choice, I will let her. I will allow and supply her with the means to gather information on any religion she is curious about. But when they are so young, I dont really worry about it.



And since you are living with your grandmother, it is best to respect her way of life - even though it may annoy you. Just as she should respect your way of life if she lived with you. Being that I technically live with my parents (I pay rent to live in the apartment attached to their house), I respect their beliefs and dont do anything to shake the apple cart.



The biggest secret to living happily together is to agree to disagree.

Lyndsay - posted on 08/23/2009

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I think it's great that you love your family and don't want this to be a bone of contention between you all, but it obviously already is. She's your daughter, not theirs, so they should respect that as her mother you have a right to teach her what you believe. However, on the other hand, you're both living under your grandmother's roof, and if that's a house of God then you should be respectful of that too.

Lydia - posted on 08/04/2009

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you can always take the moral of whatever christian lesson she has been recently given and also explain it to her from a different point of view (translate into a language that coincides with your own or any other belief system) It may not be possible for everything but should be for most. At 20 months she may not understand alot of what is going on but over time it may help her to ask you to explain what religious beliefs people throw at her without blindly believing them. Good Luck :)

Carin - posted on 08/02/2009

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there is a ribbon of truth connecting all faiths, the differance lies in how each practices faith and the languages of each. teach her of how you see divinity and of the importance of acceptance, flexibility, and understanding. don't be afraid to teach her, she is your daughter, and you were callled to the path, one of your responsibilities now as a witch is to pass it down to the next generation. teach her the catholic translation of as much of yer pagan practise as you can/feel comfortabble wiht (since 90% of christian church service practices are based on pagan rituals) and be there with confidence when she comes to you after being told paganism is wrong etc.

Hillarie - posted on 07/16/2009

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My best advice is to teach her the basics of what you believe and just keep explaining that everyone believes differently and that is OK.

However, once she's old enough to really "get it" let her know not everyone believes you should be free to choose your own path and that those who are like that still should be loved and respected but its best to just nod and not argue with them.



You have to find your own happiness and sometimes, like it or not, your family will not understand and you cant force them to accept anything just like they cant force you to believe their paths.



My family are all mormon so they dont get how I feel and my grandma just keeps begging me to come back to the church and give up this "witch stuff"(as she calls it). For her, I just nod and smile and tell her it will be ok, that our family circle isnt broken. This seems to help as she thinks that means I will be coming back. To me, it gives me a sense of peace knowing Im not breaking her heart but still not denying what I truly believe.



Good Luck!

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