2, 3, 4, 5 year old with a pacifier....

Ariana - posted on 11/23/2012

I guess it sort of comes down to who cares? I mean it's one thing to think/comment on someone who's wacking their child in public, or screaming at them, but if they want their 5 year old to have a pacifier it really doesn't effect my life, or frankly, their child that much. For all we know the kids got some for of developmental delay or other issue that having a pacifier helps calm.



Or they're just letting their kid have a pacifier way after they should, either way the kids not screaming and the parents aren't freaking out, who cares?

Chesnie - posted on 11/20/2012

K.R.-Who says I don't cringe for beaten, starved, abused children? That's not part of my question. My question is about stupid pacifiers. . Who said my mind was carefree? I think your on the wrong post...

Jen - posted on 11/18/2012

It only bothers me when I see kids trying to talk around it. It makes me think of elderly people playing with their dentures.

K. - posted on 11/17/2012

I agree with Jackie, I save my cringing for beaten, starved, or abused children that I see on the news. I envy the people that find this irritating. I wish my mind was as carefree as to give a 2 or 3 year old with a binky a second thought.

Nikki - posted on 11/07/2012

I don't honestly care, not my child, not my issue or business. I get that it's difficult to get rid of these things at times and honestly if it comforts the child and helps them to settle how is it any of my business to judge the parent.

Rachel - posted on 11/02/2012

I think it's ridiculous. I can't stand seeing a kid over the age of 2 with a binky in their mouth. I was lucky that all three of my boys gave up their binky's by the age of 6 months. They just wanted nothing to do with it. That was fine by me.

Shannon - posted on 11/01/2012

I do agree and wish he had stuck to the pacifier but I'll figure something out when hr gets a little older if he is still doing it.

Ariana - posted on 11/01/2012

It was just a suggestion if you wanted to, but if you don't think it's an issue then just leave it. I was just saying it's easier to wean a child off of a pacifier than if they start sucking their thumb all the time, especially if they're older, because the thumb is always there and they can get in the habit of using it even while they sleep; whereas with a pacifier you can slowly take it away and make it inaccessible at times.



I think people should just do whatever works for them.

Shannon - posted on 11/01/2012

The pacifier could cause the same problems if used for to long. Right now he only seems to do it when he's tired. I will not let it go on forever and will find a way to make him stop but at 7 months he is just now starting to understand what we say. He also was sucking his thumb in my ultrasound picture at 19 weeks.



We also don't have jam I don't like it and my husband could care less if we did.

Ariana - posted on 11/01/2012

You could put Jam on it if you really want him to take it. I'd rather see a pacifier than have them suck their thumb due to all the issues that can cause with their teeth.

Shannon - posted on 11/01/2012

Ariana that's not always possible with thumb sucking. My son took a pacifier until about 3 or 4 months when he started teething he refused it and only wanted his thumb. Now at 7 months he still won't take the pacifier and I was adamant about not wanting a thumb sucker.

Ariana - posted on 10/31/2012

I try not to judge just because you never know what the situation is. I personally think children should start being weened off by the time they're 3. Just for naps and night-time or for when they're seriously upset (hurting themselves or something).



On that note I hate when I see kids sucking their thumb, I wish people who's children sucked their thumb constantly would just give the kid a pacifier, at least a pacifier you can ween off. You can't ween off their thumb...

Sherri - posted on 08/03/2012

@Jackie then obviously your child wouldn't apply since unless she was in public I wouldn't see her. My opinion unless they have a medical reason to actually need one especially in public after a year old is they are for babies. Once a child hits a yr old it is no longer a necessity but a dependency because they weren't weaned from it.

Now would I ever say anything to any parent who has allowed their child to have one till 4 or 5 NO but inside yup you can bet I will be secretly cringing. Just something I don't like to see for a child so old.

Here have been my steadfast rules for MY FAMILY,,,,,,Pacifiers gone by 4 mo's, bottles/breastfeeding done by 12mo's, sippy cups gone by 2yrs, diapers gone before they are 3yrs typically around 2 1/2yrs. This has worked famously for my first 3 and I now have a 5 mo old his pacifier has been gone for about 4mo's now (his doing not mine), so first milestone done.

I however, don't have the same rules for babies that I do in home daycare for as their parents make their own rules. So they can have pacifiers and bottles longer till their parents are ready to wean them. The only ones that I don't budge from even for my daycare kids is sippy cups at least here gone by 2 and diapers gone by 3yrs.

**Jackie** - posted on 08/03/2012

Sherri, why?



No one would ever see my daughter with a pacifier...unless they saw her sleeping in her bed.



ETA: I am just wondering, Sherri, because I save my "cringing" for starving children, abused animals, and parents beating their kids in the grocery store.

Jenn - posted on 08/03/2012

I knew my child would need a soother because she started sucking her thumb in the womb, as evidenced by a sonogram pic! That is one reason we allowed the pacifier. Another is because she had reflux and a pacifier helped tremendously. Each child is different, as are their needs! My youngest didn't need anything other than snuggling. My oldest weaned just fine and is remarkably confident and self-assured. So tending to her soothing needs as a baby was totally worth it.

Sherri - posted on 08/03/2012

I cringe when I see any child over the age of 1 with a pacifier.

Dove - posted on 08/02/2012

I used to think I was an expert on what kids did and did not need too.... My son threw everything I thought I knew about parenting right out the window... and he was my third child.

Jaime - posted on 08/02/2012

MeMe, I respectfully disagree with your opinion on this matter, however I do appreciate the civil exchange :) What works for you, didn't work for me and I'm okay with that.

MeMe - posted on 08/02/2012

Gale---Like a finger print, there is NO one rule fits all! So what are you going to do if the next one suck her thumb?? Tape it? Cut it off?

LOL. Well, as a 36 year old mother of a teen and toddler, I have ways to ensure how to keep my children from doing something that is negative to their growth. No drastic measures required. A thumb will never be used, as long as I do not promote it. It is a habit and habits are really easy to break when they are tiny. I have yet to have a worry of this, though and I guarantee I will not. ;)

I have had a lot of practice and I can say, my next child (due in February) will also not require anything, other than myself, my husband and themselves for comfort. Thanks for the concern, though.

Kayla - posted on 08/02/2012

My son who is 8 months old now has never wanted to have a pacifier. Even when he was a little baby he would never take it. But that's ok with me! My daughter is 2.5 years old and when she turned 2, she was suddenly very interested in brushing her teeth. So I told her, to take care of her teeth she would have to give up her paci, so she found it and threw it in the garbage!! The only problem I have with giving a paci to older kids is that other children their age may make fun of them. I wouldn't want my children getting hurt like that, so I am relieved that they are both done with it.

**Jackie** - posted on 08/02/2012

Medic, OMG are you kidding me? Your poor munchkin! I hope she wasn't too upset. I would've looked through my bag for another pacifier and stuck it in my mouth. Stupid witches. Just wow

Chaya - posted on 08/02/2012

Not a good idea from a dental standpoint, but I know adults who use them, not in public as far as I know. There are some medical conditions that the drugs to treat them cause dry mouth, while I'd prefer sucking on hard candy, it's their business.
My daughter didn't want a pacifier until she was well over an appropriate age for them.

Gale - posted on 08/02/2012

Agh! It suck to see people putting society standard on such little ones! Each child is unique! Like a finger print, there is NO one rule fits all! So what are you going to do if the next one suck her thumb?? Tape it? Cut it off? Let the child decide for what helps them deal with their stress. Society is mean enough when people are older why do people have to be mean to these kids just because they choose themselves to use a soother, their thumb or something else and yes I seen babies choose it some hate soother. So hate their thumb, but who are you to judge when it fit to have it taken away?

Medic - posted on 08/02/2012

Let me just point out before you are so quick to judge other mothers for the reason their older toddler has a binky that there may be an underlying reason. My 2.5 year old NEVER used a binky.....but she has been diagnosed with SPD and one way to curb the biting and licking everything....and I mean EVERYTHING is for her to have a chew toy or a binky....to me walking around with the binky is a lot less strange than her chew toys. Now I am not saying that there is always a reason but there may be. I had a woman in the grocery store bring my daughter to tears because she told her only babies have binkies and that she was too old and took it away from her. Now she does not suck on it but chews on all parts of it.

**Jackie** - posted on 08/02/2012

Meme, I think that's great. I can assure you that with the next one, we aren't even bringing a pacifier in the house.

MeMe - posted on 08/02/2012

Jaime-- Both my children self soothe. They have never ever needed a soother, a thumb, a stuffed animal or a blanket. You know what my son does? He plays with his hair and goes to sleep.



It has nothing to do with them understanding with words. It has to do with what the parent offers them from the get go. If you do not offer it at the beginning, they won't become dependant. I do not agree with a baby needing these items UNLESS they are premature and need them for developmental reasons.



I am a firm disbeliever with needing an item to soothe oneself. Music or sense of noise, is a completely different story. My children also like to have a fan on, when they go to bed. The static humming of the fan, helps them, as well.



This is just my opinion and I am sticking to it. Simply because it has worked great for both my kids and will for my next. I have never had an issue with my kids sleeping without because I sleep train, early. When they are awake, they have me for comfort but sometimes, they need to comfort themselves and they do just fine. ;)



ETA:

The point of self soothe is to do it without requiring something tangible. That is self soothing, otherwise it is called reliance. ;)

Jaime - posted on 08/02/2012

Jackie, maybe she's not ready for it to be gone yet. My son had his pacifier until just a few days past his 3rd birthday. We talked about it, it was tough for a few days and nights but after about a week it was a non-issue. He only ever used it for naps and bed time at that point from the age of 18 months. He has favourite stuffies and blankets, but nothing that he is in a puddle over not having at his side. He's a pretty confident little guy despite the bad press that pacifiers tend to attract.

**Jackie** - posted on 08/02/2012

Ahhh! I was about to post this until I read what other mothers thought....but here goes nothing!

My daughter is almost 20 months and I have been doing a lot of research on getting rid of the pacifier. Since she was about 3 months old she has only used it at nap time and bed time. She will fall asleep in the car without it.

So far, I have taken her to a store and let her pick out a cuddly stuffed animal and let her know this would be her new sleeping buddy instead of the pacifier because pacifiers are just for babies and she's a big girl etc. I cut one of the corners of her blankey off (that thing is so sacred she freaks when I take it away to wash it) and sewed it to the stuffed animal. I refuse to let her still have the pacifier at age 2....but what else can I do? I will admit, I am nervous about taking it away but that's me, not her. She might be fine. Any advice?

Annabelle - posted on 07/31/2012

NO NO NO! My kids lost the binky at age 1 no question about it. My niece is almost 2 and I cringe when I see it. Personally, I think it's pure laziness on the part of the parents. They're screaming....shove a pacifier in their mouth that'll shut them up! Really?! How can they start talking and communicating if they have a binky in their mouth? Sure they may scream for it and you'll have some sleeplessness but this too shall pass. The ONLY instance where it could be ok (in my opinion) is if there are some developmental delays and/or cutting teeth later than typical. Other than that, yuck.

Jaime - posted on 07/28/2012

Nothing wrong with a comfort item. The point of self-soothe is to find a way to calm yourself when you're upset or stressed or just need some time apart from others. I think you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone as an adult that can just sit in a chair and stare at the wall untill they calm down. Self-soothing often involves the use of something (be it motivational words, music, a favourite pair of pj's and slippers, etc). I don't understand the argument that children should learn to self-soothe at the age of one...really? At one year old, children are starting to form an understanding of language, whether or not they are talking. But, asking a child that young to comprehend the mental focus it takes to self-soothe is a bit much. Kids cry when they are tired, stressed, hungry, hurt, teething, going through a growth spurt, over-stimulated...all of these are factors out of their control, and yet somehow we expect them to be able to self-soothe when it hits them with tornado force? I think the majority of kids have comfort items because it helps to have something familiar and safe to hold onto in those moments. Some kids have pacifiers into their jk/sk years and although it's not common, it could very well be for a specific reason...and nothing at all to do with self-soothing. Regardless, seeing a child with a soother does not raise red flags for me. My son stopped using his soother shortly after his third birthday and though he has favourite stuffed animals and likes to snuggle up in blankets, I'm not the slightest bit worried that he won't develop a strong ability to self-soothe when he's older :)

Lacye - posted on 07/27/2012

I took my daughter's pacifier away when my daughter was 18 months and I thought she was too old even then. But I firmly believe that 2 years old is way too old for a child to have one. Just my opinion.

MeMe - posted on 07/27/2012

I do not agree with soothers, especially past the age of 1 year. A child should be learning how to soothe themselves, especially at the age of 1 and older.



Neither of my kids had a soother and neither of them sucked their thumb. Neither of them need a stuffed animal or comfort blanket, either. This next one, won't either.

Gale - posted on 07/26/2012

I think we need to stop living in a judgment society, just cuz you don't like it doesn't mean it wrong, I may not like the way you dressed your child, does it mean it wrong? No. The way I choose my child to be raised is my child, not your,mine so something simple as a soother is really no one business but mine my husband and my child, it sad to see younger child being judge but grown adults but the same adult who judge child flip out the moment they hear their child being judge by someone, really soother?? Is it really your business to know how old a child is or why they have one? No it not!

Julie - posted on 07/21/2012

My son has a good freind, that is 8. He still sucks his thumb. My son was told, it is "because he did not have a pacifier when he was young". I dunno, you can take a passy away, but you can't remove a thumb!
Both my boys only used them in the infant months. by the age of 3, most children start preschool. Pacifiers are not allowed in the classrooms period. I think it's the perfect time for a parent to ween a child if they have not been weened already. Does it bother me? Not really, it's not my kid. but it effect's the child's social development, their peers look at them and think of them differently. I would think that would bother the parent!

Proud - posted on 07/15/2012

I'd say 2 is the limit.

Jaime - posted on 07/10/2012

Kids that suck their thumbs run the same risk to their teeth, but I think as long as you are a proactive parent then that makes all the difference :)

Sharon - posted on 07/10/2012

I don't like them at all. I never used them and I find it a bit "alien" to see other kids using them. But I think if you choose to use one, then maybe by the age of two the kids should be weaned off them. It is frustrating trying to understand a child talking when there is a paci in his/her mouth.

Francine - posted on 07/10/2012

Advice from my family dentist to me was that after year one of a baby's life there is no need for a soother anymore as it is very detrimental to their teeth or oral hygiene in general. If your child is old enough to speak it is old enough to pacify itself without any help.

Jaime - posted on 07/10/2012

I'm not bothered by the sight of a toddler or child with a pacifier in their mouth. In my experience it's pretty rare to see a child older than 1 year sucking on a soother...and if I happen to see it, I'm inclined to think that there's a reason for it. Sure, there are some parents that like the convenience of the 'soother' more so than the child actually needs it, but more often than not, it's for the child's benefit. My son had his pacifier until he was three, and from about the age of 18 months it was used just for naps and bedtime. I wasn't worried about him using the soother or when to wean him, because at that time it was important to him and I wasn't in a rush to take away something that really wasn't doing him any harm. He eventually started biting holes in the nipples so I stopped buying them due to the expense...and that was that.

Janice - posted on 07/07/2012

I dont think its a big deal if its only at nap or bed time. I just cant stand seeing parents popping them into their toddler or pre-schoolers mouths so that they wont be bothered. I knew a 4 year old who left her pacifier in her daycare cubby all day and never asked for it. Yet mom would walk in the door and immediately put it in her daughter's mouth, that type of stuff is so strange to me. I also when hate kids try to talk with the binky in their mouth.

My children both refused pacifiers. I wish they did for those times when nursing wasnt/isnt possible, like in the car. It would be great to ask my 2.5 to give my 7 mo. old his pacifier and then continue on with the dishes or whatever but I'm quite glad I wont have to deal with breaking the habit later.

Jenn - posted on 06/29/2012

It is far better than a thumb at five! Many children need a pacifier like other kids need a blankie or stuffed animal. Security. Comfort. Friend. My oldest had a pacifier until she was 3.5, with major restrictions. Only nap time or bedtime, absolutely no talking with a paci in her mouth ! She is eight now and very confident...even more than my child who had no preferred security object. We let Bella wean off the paci just like she weaned off breast feeding. It wasn't stressful for her and actually empowered her to make the decision to leave it under her pillow for the Paci Fairy.

I sucked my thumb until I was five and only stopped because of peer pressure. Even in my daughter's 1st grade class, a couple of thumb suckers snuck in a moment when a movie was on and lights down.


There are far worse things to cringe at when it comes to kids and behavior!

Denise - posted on 06/29/2012

My son does not need a pacifier for medical reasons, but when he was born he had bruises on both his wrists from sucking on them in the womb(all the stillness in my womb while I was pregnant was now accounted for). I realized that he had already gotten so accustomed to the sucking that there was little I could do about it, so I have been lenient with him and the paci, I figure better the paci than his thumb. He is almost 18 mths and still uses it but I do plan to wean him off of it by age 2. My daughter on the other hand hated the pacifier, she would throw them across the room, turns out she had breathing problems because of enlarged adenoids and tonsils so sucking on a pacifier was a no go with her. Lesson I learned is that every child is different and should be treated accordingly, but as a parent you do have to set boundaries and I think children should say bye bye to the paci sooner than later.

Chesnie - posted on 06/26/2012

Tabitha..I never have seen or known anyone to give their 6 month old soda! That would b crazy.

Chesnie - posted on 06/26/2012

Mandian....me too!

Mandian - posted on 06/26/2012

I think it is crazy to see a kids that is older than 2 with one.

Chesnie - posted on 06/26/2012

Your absolutely right!

Michelle - posted on 06/26/2012

I think some parents judge to much on this. some children need it. My son is 30m and he has one because he has SPD and if he doesn't he will find something to stick in his mouth for his oral under stimulation, and I would rather him have a passy then pick something up that could be dangerous.. so before you look at a child and judge parenting skills or that child, think hmm.. maybe its not a decision came to lightly or because they are lazy but because the child has an issue and this is safer then the other..

Tabitha - posted on 06/26/2012

I have to add that the only thing that really makes me cringe is when i see babies as young as 6 months being bottle fed soda.....ughhhhhhhhhhhh

Tabitha - posted on 06/26/2012

It's no different than having a favorite blanky or stuffed animal imo.That being said i would only be concerned after the age of 4. Thats when it is said that it starts to affect the development of teeth and the jaw. My almost 3 year has one and we plan on getting rid of it before he turns 4.

Chesnie - posted on 06/25/2012

Ok ok maybe cringe is not the right word. Thanks for your thoughts ladies. Of course I don't SAY anything to anyone it's just my thoughts...