Cynthia - posted on 05/06/2010 ( 18 moms have responded )
This might be more suited for the "Random Rants" thread, but I'd like all of your thoughts/opinions, maybe to know it's not just my kid that this is happening to, and tips on how not to go INSANE over this!!!
*Deep breath*... Ok, my boyfriend has a daughter who will soon be 8, who lives with us. She is the oldest of his mom's grandkids. She gets spoiled by her in ways we could never afford to do. Just a few examples: She has bought her 2 Nintendo DS's since Christmas (because the girl didn't take care of the first and it broke); she takes her every Sunday (which is fine), but then sends her home with something new EVERY week; buys her brand new clothes all the time (which is helpful, don't get me wrong)... meanwhile my 9 month old is wearing stuff from garage sales and secondhand stores (which I don't mind, because it's not like I buy her crappy stuff, it's what we can afford); she only gets gifts from her grammy at holidays (which are in no comparison to what the older one gets); and when my boyfriend's mom talks to me about the kids, it's always about the older one and almost never about MY kid.
My boyfriend's sister has twin boys that are about 1 1/2 years old. These boys have gotten spoiled rotten also by my boyfriend's mom since the day they were born (as if they need it, their dad is a brain surgeon, but whatever).
Ok now, don't get me wrong... I do not in any way EXPECT anyone to spoil my child, buy her things, etc. I can take perfectly good care of her without anyone's help, she's not lacking in any way. What I forsee happening is her getting old enough to realize that every grandchild gets spoiled besides her, or at least notice the difference in how her sister is treated over her. And it's this that upsets me, and I almost feel like I have to compensate for what her grammy doesn't do for her versus what she does for the older one... I know that doesn't make much sense, as my daughter is too young to even know anything about it yet.
I have tried and tried to ignore it, let it go, not let it get to me... but it's not working! I have also tried to discuss it with my boyfriend, as that's his mom and I feel he should be the one to say something to her about it... but sadly, he chooses to be blind to the fact that his daughter is so spoiled.
I have even tried to come up with justified reasons she could be doing this: Maybe it's because she's just a baby and she doesn't have a bond with her yet? (But then I think about the twin boys who have gotten spoiled from birth.) Maybe it's because she has enough grandkids and doesn't have room for one more? (That just seems horrible and makes me feel like shit.) Maybe it's because she doesn't have the same bond with me that she had with my boyfriend's ex (his daughter's mom) and that she has with her own daughter? (But that shouldn't affect how she treats my kid.)
I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad for me, I don't feel bad for myself- I just feel bad for my daughter because I'm worried about how it's gonna affect her down the road.
So... Anyone else dealing with this? Anyone know how I can keep my cool because I'm about ready to flip the f out! Lol it's just so irritating...