Babies in the Bar

[deleted account] ( 32 moms have responded )

So this baby walks into a bar, and …



Well, the baby didn’t actually walk into the bar—it was in a stroller, pushed by its mother, who was going to have a drink or two with some other moms who brought their kids, and…that’s why this is no joke.



There’s a bar fight brewing across the country. In Seattle, Austin, Philadelphia, Boston and beyond, bar patrons are getting lathered up on both sides of a polarizing parenting issue: is it responsible (or even acceptable) to belly up to the bar with young children in tow?



Those opposed to the mix of cocktails and sippy cups have posted their unequivocal sentiments on numerous online message boards and blogs, like this one in Philadelphia: “I do not want to be in a bar around children. Ever. Bars are for adults.”



Stroller grid-lock has been increasing in bars—often under signs that say “No One Under 21 Admitted”—along with the irritation of patrons who object to shoving crayons out of the way of their cosmos.



Those pushing for more babies in bars are usually the same people pushing the strollers: mothers of the pre-school set, who say: “We want to do everything we always did, but with our babies.”



So when the owner of a bar in Brooklyn recently posted a “Please No Strollers” sign, he opened yet the latest front in the battle of the bottle. Moms seethed, while critics— like this one in Tucson —applauded: “Grow up, people,” she wrote. “Your lives are different now.”



Tell us what you think: Are we lowering the responsibility bar by allowing kids in the neighborhood bar?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

C. - posted on 04/11/2010

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Restaurants (like a bar & grill) are an exception b/c it's not JUST a bar. Bars, though, are not supposed to have anyone under the age of 21 inside.. Anyone.. That means babies, too.



I think it's totally irresponsible to take babies into a bar. Those parents need to grow up and be parents, not go out drinking with their infants right beside them.

Amy - posted on 02/22/2010

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Well, in my rinky dink town, the bar is the only restaurant and is more of a public gathering place where families come in and order burgers and fries and a Coke and on fridays you'll see a couple guys in off work drinking a beer. This is not a club, not a slosh down drunk bar, it's just a "bar" that has food and drinks. parents don't really drink anything. if they do, it's usually the dad having one beer with his meal. it's just not like that around here.

on that note, if you are there with your baby - you should not be drinking to party or be drunk. i have seen too many moms do things like this. i was just at a birthday party for a one year old where there were friends all drinking beer and getting drunk - even mom and dad. and then who is taking care of the baby!? the guests. not right. i know tons of couples who ditch kids to go get trashed. I agree with the "grow up" phrase up there. if you want to live the life you had before kids - you should not have had kids. they are your top priority now.

in my town, i know my kids are in zero danger at a bar. it's not irresponsible for us to take our kids up for supper and see our neighbors, cousins, and parents at the "Bar". we know the bartender and his family who own the bar. they know all of us and love seeing kids up there. they know my kids - bring my daughter her chocolate milk as soon as he sees her. grandpa takes her up with him for his coffee -at the bar- when she spends the nite. it's a good hometown thing. i think it depends on the type of bar it is.

Jackie - posted on 02/22/2010

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Here in the US smoking is banned in some areas...I know where I live it is...you have to go outside to do it. And we also have restaurants/pubs where there is a bar attached...but I get the impression this article is talking about the bars that we have that are meant to be a place where you go out drinking.

Second hand smoke aside, a bar is absolutely no place for young children. NO ONE going into a bar is expecting to have to deal with your (saying that generically) children. Not to mention I've been out drinking, I've seen how unruly some bars can get (even in the middle of the afternoon)...do you really want your impressionable young child exposed to all that. Its not a child friendly atmosphere nor should it have to be. These moms rolling in with strollers are going to be rather unhappy when some drunk spills a drink all over there baby....

I completely agree...if you want to bring your baby to a bar to drink, you need to grow up. If you want to meet your friends go to the playground, or a coffee shop.

I've never understood why its even ALLOWED b/c all bars post "no admittance under age 21"...well a 1 yr old is under 21. The law isn't no admittance from 5-21...i've just never understood how this was even an option.

[deleted account]

Ive worked in a bar before and believe me it is no place for kids to be! There are times when fights broke out (during any time of the day) when I got caught in the middle and almost clocked a couple of times just simply standing in the way of two guys trying to go at it. The problem is that people assume that most parents have common sense to have "a drink or 2" and just go home but in fact ALOT of parents don't have common sense at all. I've seen a woman 7 months pregnant come staggering in and when I refused to serve her more achohol she tried to get into a fist fight with me! I've found 3 kids sleeping in the back of a car at 2:30 in the morning and their dad drunk inside and had to call the cops and have them removed from their dads care cause he was so drunk he couldn't walk yet he intended on driving them home. They do serve alcohol with meals in restaurants so why do you need to hang in the bar? Also people get pretty annoyed when kids are running around and screaming in a place that is designated for adults to go hang out. When I go out to the bar (happens very little) it's to get out and cut loose away from screaming kids so why should I have to listen to someone elses screaming kids. If you want to go to a bar then you should really get a babysitter.

Amanda - posted on 02/26/2010

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If food is served there a child can enter, simple enough!! If only booze is sold there, then no children (because there is zero reason for a child to be there). The article never mentioned if these bars sold food, or even what time of the day it was that mothers are meeting up. The problem with media is that they leave out extremely important facts, so they can upset people about something that prob is innocent. Ie mothers meeting for LUNCH not to get drunk, and bringing their kids along to a resturant/bar that they enjoy the food at. Now if those woman are only going there for drinks, then NO NO NO, be a better parent!!

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32 Comments

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Lanelle - posted on 09/30/2011

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I always thought of bars as one of the limited places adults could go without children!! I haven't seen that here where I live,but I know it happens.A restaurant with a bar/grill...might be okay,if the parents kept tabs on the kids. But..NO..soon enough it'll look like daycare central! I'll go elsewhere,Thank You!!

Jocelyn - posted on 04/10/2010

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A bar/restaurant is one thing, a BAR is another thing entirely. No babies in bars ever. I had to run into our local bar once and I was pushing a stroller, so I brought the stroller into the little area between doors, and then just stuck my head in a shouted but that was as far as I would go. (and I will clarify that I wasn't going in to drink lol, I had to drop off an invitation).

[deleted account]

Wow. I would never dream of taking my baby/child into a bar. I used to work in a bar in Las Vegas & there was a small restaurant area, people would bring their families to eat. I even thought that was inappropriate. Bars have people smoking, cussing, making out, getting drunk & stupid. No way a kid should be witness to that........ We were doing lines of coke & smoking meth in the bathroom at my bar.

Lady - posted on 04/10/2010

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NOTE: Post have been deleated on here by the person who posted them so not all answers may make complete sense!

Amanda - posted on 04/10/2010

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Who cares if you want a place that is kids free? WTF would bring a kid/baby into a bar so that they could go have a drink in the first place? What kind of parent would do that: an alcoholic apparently... There is a difference between taking them to a restaraunt that has a bar in it, a lot of them do... but to take a kid to an actual bar, or even to go sit at the bar in the restaraunt with ur kids... omg... that's just ridiculous. Some women/men need to grow the hell up and get over the fact that they aren't kid free anymore, if you wanted to keep drinking during the day, maybe you shoulda used birth control!! Things aren't the same when you have kids, EVERYONE knows that, so you can't even play the stupid card lol... People these days... that's as bad as back in the day when you could send ur kids to buy ur ciggs for you lol...

April - posted on 04/10/2010

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there are so few places that are just for adullts these days...i don't think kids should be allowed.



also...by having children, you've decided you were ready to give up that kind of life. you knew the birth of your children would impact your social life, so deal with it!!!!!

LaCi - posted on 04/10/2010

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Thats kind of strange to me. Here you have to be 21 to go to a bar, and you have to be 18 to enter a bar area of a restaurant.

I probably wouldn't have a problem with it depending on the type of bar, if its a nonsmoking quiet kind of bar then its really no big deal. The bars I would want to be, loud live music, smoking and heavy drinking and fighting, at are definitely not a place for kids.

Emma - posted on 04/10/2010

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Ok after running Bars for 10 years before becoming a S@HM. ill give you my 2 cents.

If you have a "family Pub" and by this i mean somewhere that has made a point of adding a separate area where people with children can sit and have a drink and a pub lunch with there kids these pubs normally will have a beer garden with swings ect.
Than no problem its a family pub.
But if you are talking about just a normal pub than sorry no kids allowed.

I would of told you politely to leave if you brought a kid in to any of the pubs i have run, sorry it a big NO NO

I persomaly would not take my kids to a pub if i wanted to have a drink with friends i would go to a cafe/restaurant they normal have liqueur licences if you want a beer.

Traci - posted on 02/26/2010

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I've taken our daughter into a bar that was a RESTAURANT too, but never when it was full of smokers (we live in Michigan where you can still smoke in bars) We went into a very dead bar/restaurant once to watch a football game, but only stayed til half-time, and we didn't drink anything and we certainly didn't hang around for hours and hours.

Lyndsay - posted on 02/22/2010

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When I was pregnant my roommate worked at a bar & grill as the cook. I used to go there with her during my summer vacation because she always cooked me up free food, and we'd sit on the patio and get a tan until the next order came up. There was this one girl that we saw every day, all day long, drinking beers with her friends while her 2 year old runs around the patio. I was like, "ARE YOU KIDDING? What the hell is wrong with you?!"

[deleted account]

I didn't know if it was a law or not since I've never been in a bar/night club. I thought that's what was implied by the signs mentioned. I still stand by my opinion though.

[deleted account]

Many bars/ nightclubs require ID to enter because of age restrictions. Babies shouldn't be allowed in those because they obviously don't meet the age requirement. Other bars, sure. But I personally think it is irresponsible because it is easy to drink too much without realizing it and that puts baby in danger on the car ride home. If you want to go out, get a babysitter.

Sarah - posted on 02/22/2010

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I pretty much spent every w/e down the pub when i was young! There's different types of pubs, some are very family friendly, and some are just for adults. There's a few pubs i would take my kids to if i fancied it. We don't go very often, mainly in the summer and to pubs where there is an outside play area.

I would never take my kids to a non family friendly pub. (Probably wouldn't be allowed in anyway! haha!) As someone else mentioned, in the UK, smoking is banned in pubs so that's not really an issue. Also, i don't go out with my family to get drunk, but it is nice to sit in the sun with a nice glass of wine now and again ;)

Lise - posted on 02/22/2010

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no babies at the bar. the baby could be exposed to cigarette smoke, there is the scary risk of a baby in the car with a driver who's been drinking, and it ruins the bar atmosphere.

Charlene - posted on 02/22/2010

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Like it's already been mentioned, I think it depends on what type of bar we are talking about here, as well as what time of the day it is.



I don't see the harm in taking a child to a Saloon type bar (similar to the bar from All In The Family) or a bar/restaurant during the day. But a club or any other type of bar, during the evening/night... I can see why people have trouble with that.

Carolee - posted on 02/22/2010

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If there is a restaraunt attatched to the bar, the children should be allowed in the restaraunt area only. I used to spend a lot of time in the bars where I live, but I actually grew up when I got pregnant with my son. I would never dream of taking ANYONE under the legal age into a bar, whether that person is 1 or 20 (legal drinking age is 21 here)! I *heard* they were talking about lowering the legal drinking age... but they were only going to go down to 18, not ALL the way down.

Cassie - posted on 02/22/2010

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I think others have already touched on this but I think there is a big difference between taking a baby/child to a bar versus taking a baby/child to a bar/restaurant. For example, my sister is a bartender at a place called Hoggy's. It is a bar/restaurant and we take our daughter there frequently to eat.

I would never take my child to an exclusive bar and think it's highly inappropriate. But if a family enjoys the food at a bar/restaurant, there is nothing wrong with them going and enjoying themselves IMO.

Lady - posted on 02/22/2010

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I didn't mean faced with in a bad way - sorry if you took it like that. And although I am myself when I'm at home I'm still mum. Sometimes is nice to just be Gillian.

Heather - posted on 02/22/2010

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Wow, I can't believe this is an issue...I've never even heard of someone taking or wanting to take their baby to a bar until I read this post. I personally think it is irresponsible to take a baby to a bar though becuase you never know how drunk and unruly some people could get (yes, I know this can happen anywhere, but I think it is more likely to happen at a bar than a restraunt or coffee shop). I wouldn't feel comfortable even having one drink at a restraunt and then having to drive with my baby, much less going to bar for a few drinks or more and then driving. I think it's great for moms and kids to get together, but let's try to make it a safe kid friendly environment when the kids are invlolved ;) Go to a bar and let loose when you have a babysitter...after all, like Gillian said, we need a kid free place to go every now and then.

Keisha - posted on 02/22/2010

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Where I live all public places are smoke free, Which I sooooo love! and we used to live around the corner from a bar/buffet that my fiance and I used to go to for sunday brunch sometimes... well of course we would bring our daughter, who was about 4 or 5 months at the time. Well one time when we were coming out this woman stopped us and yelled at us for a good 15 minutes about how irresponsible and stupid we were. She didnt care at all that the buffet was even in a separate room because in her opinion children shouldnt even be in the same room with ANYBODY consuming alcohol... even though those people werent her parents. I couldnt believe how this woman had the nerve to basically chase us down the street yelling about what awful parents we were because we went out to eat! I do agree that its completely insane to go meet your friends for drinks with your kids in tow... but I think there is certain situations that it would be acceptable such as the one I just explained. I also remember my father taking me to the bar to play pool with him when I was little, he did have some beer but I dont think thats wrong either. You just have to use your judgment.

Manon Alexe - posted on 02/22/2010

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I live in south africa and here its prohibited by law to take a baby (under 18) into a bar. I think its a good thing since you just don't know what could happen in a bar, especially if the mothers are drinking. In all fairness, you just don't think or react the same way as when you'd be sober.

Lady - posted on 02/22/2010

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I'm with my kids 24/7, I very very rarely go out without them - I can't actually can't rember the last time I had a night out without them. But when I do I don't then want to have to be faced with other peoples kids. It's not about bringing them up with blinkers on it's about having adult kids free space, where we can be ourselves and not mum for a little while.

Sharon - posted on 02/22/2010

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I mostly don't agree with babies hanging out in bars. Strictly bars or dance clubs. restaurants w/a bar are an exception.



I went to bars to escape my life and enjoy the crazy life there. The last thing I wanted was someone screeching infant at floor level looking up all the mini skirts and having beer splashed in his face.



I also didn't want some baby with a shitty diaper plopped on the bar either.



I get the feeling I contradicted myself ... I think I posted this topic elsewhere... hahaha

Lady - posted on 02/22/2010

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In the UK we have bars - usually with a restaurant attached - where families are welcome. They usually have fun packs for the kids and quite often have a play area-ball pit sort of thing. People usually go there for meals or mothers meet to have coffee and let the kids play. If you want to go out drinking there are other types of bars where you just wouldn't take kids.
And smoking has been banned in the UK in all public places so second hand smoke is thankfully not an issue.

Amy - posted on 02/22/2010

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Bars are for adults and it sounds like these mothers aren't ready to grow up yet. The sign reads no one under 21 and I applaud the bar owner putting up a sign that reads no strollers. Most of the time drinking and smoking go hand in hand and do you really want your baby around second hand smoke. Lets stick to the law here people. Take your babies to the coffee shop to meet your friends or even dare I say it Mcdonalds.

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