Babysitters??? Yes or No

Dove - posted on 05/26/2012

I think it's kind of funny/ironic. I would never hire a sitter that I don't know. Yet the job that I've had for the past year + watching a little girl (who was 6 months old when I started) I got by placing an ad on Craigslist and only meeting with the lady twice (first time at a public park (MY idea) and then in their home). I'm very glad that her mother wasn't as paranoid as I am because it's a great job and a great family that I work for. ;) lol

Dora - posted on 05/25/2012

You are definitely not over reacting. You need to be extremely careful cause there are so many sickos out there. Background checks are useless because they only show things that people have been caught for. Are you a stay at home mom? If your baby is in daycare and there are teachers there that you love, ask one of them if they would babysit for you on the side. If you have to use a stranger from an agency, place a digital recorder in a spot the person won't see it. This way you can at least hear what went on while you were out. Tammy's suggestion is perfect, make date night at home :)

Cook a romantic dinner, have a nice glass of wine and snuggle up together.

Julia - posted on 05/25/2012

Jerri,

A church may very well be a good alternative, but not necessarily as wise as most people think. Child molesters and child abusers go to church also. A parent should be realistic in their choices. Churches and their child care centers do not necessarily protect a child.

M - posted on 05/25/2012

We left our son with a babysitter from a nanny agency when he was just few months old, in order to go out to dinner or see a movie. Parents need to get out of the house without their child for a break every now and then. It's natural, it's healthy and it's fun! Remember fun? You used to have it before you had a kid, lol.
A screened, trained caregiver from a licensed agency seems like a very low risk to me.
Millions of parents leave their children in the care of nannies all day while they go to work. Yes, once in a great while there is a case of abuse or neglect. It is up to you and your husband to weight the pros and cons of hiring care for your child. And, I hate to mention, people you know can mistreat a baby too. And I would be even less trusting of people I don't know but that mothers in a parents' group know. You can't run a background check on them!
And as for the poster who said she's never left her kids with a babysitter and they are 7 an 8 and she and her husband only go out 3 times a year...well, that is not the example you should be following. Really, making smart choices about childcare begins even before you have a your baby- many people interview child care providers while they are pregnant. It's not a big deal to have a regular babysitter ( for a child of any age) and if you don't have a friend willing to do the job, then you have to look at agencies.

Larimar - posted on 05/25/2012

Get an agency and buy a camera for your house so u can monitor them from your phone.

Ashley - posted on 05/25/2012

I agree with three points I've read in the other comments: 1. "ask your mom group" be it babysitting trade offs or reccomendations, you know you can trust these women and their opinions. 2. "Do interviews" and go with your gut, if you get a funny feeling, even for a minute, go with someone else. 3 "get a nanny cam" or make one if you have to, you can find tiiiiiiny spy cameras online "nowadays".
I also want to add my own point, just like any good employer, CHECK REFRENCES. Call/meet anyone you can that has "used" a particular sitter, be it anyone from an agency or a friend's reccomendation. Find out why/if they stopped working for someone and how the parents felt about them and how they cared for the child.
There may be crazies out there but just put anyone you choose through a thurough screening process and you should do fine. Good luck!

Lianda - posted on 05/25/2012

Ask the other mums from parents group if they can reccommend a baby sitter!

If your in australia getting a baby sitter through an agency is pretty safe! they have to have the qualifications and checks that they would need to work in a childcare centre. You can always ask for them yourself too.

Trial it, wean into it, just have them over for a coffee/play for an hour with you and baby then leave her only for an hour the next time and slowly leave them a little longer until your 100% comfortable. You could always hire 2 babysitters if you can afford it just for comforts sake.

Or ask friends from parents group when they are having a date night next and ask if you can share the baby sitter (and the cost) ... just a few ideas... definately not over reacting your a mum its your job! good luck

or offer to BE the babysitter for your friends in parents group so you can all just help each other out! (you baby sit for me I"ll babysit for you..) could be really good for the kids too

Jenn - posted on 05/24/2012

Husband and wife should always get alone time but if you don't have anyone you absolutely trust, I would NOT do it. There are too many crazies out there today. Just do some romantic things at home when the baby is asleep. You can give each other the attention you need without leaving your baby with a stranger. Good luck to you guys!

Rie - posted on 05/24/2012

My husband and I didn't go on a date until our son was nearly 2 years old. We moved a lot so finding a sitter was problematic. I did use an agency and inter viewed a few candidates. I watched how they interacted with my boy during the 30 minute interview. I had a list of questions ready and in the end just went with my gut. When I picked a sitter I had her take my boy to a near by playground for an hour as a test run. It all worked out for us but I understand your concern. It was hard for us to take that first step.

Rebecca - posted on 05/24/2012

I'm sorry, but I'm with the mums who say to do a DVD & takeout. I have friends and family who would love to babysit for me but I hardly ever take them up on it. My daughter is 2 and I've probably left her for non-medical reasons twice a year, we just make time at home while she sleeps.

Tamidg723 - posted on 05/24/2012

No....I would love to in a perfect world but our world is FAR from perfect and I could NEVER leave my two boys 7 years old and 1 year old with strangers, even if it was through an agency. A night out isn't worth the risk. We make the best of our time at home for now or my mom babysits, which is rare unfortunately.

Amy - posted on 05/24/2012

Just thought of something... You say you don't know you're neighbors, so you can't ask them. So, what's the difference with contacting a nanny/babysitter agency? :/

Trina - posted on 05/24/2012

I have yet to leave my son who is almost 8 years old with a babysitter. While I am very fortunate to have a close support network of family, they do not care for him all that often either. I have a close group of mothers that I have spent the last 6+ years getting to know and I am still paranoid. When I am brave enough to leave him with someone, it will be with someone that I have gotten to know in many different situations and have been able to observe how they handle their children. The other mothers are great because most of them feel the same as I do. Good luck and God Bless.

JERRI - posted on 05/24/2012

Ask at a (your) church. There is probably good connections there

Julia - posted on 05/24/2012

There is good and bad in everything. I had the best for both my children. But when I moved to a new city with no contacts, I checked one day care out very carefully. My son had a great caregiver...the cream of the crop. My daughter had a terrible one who liked to spank children with their pants down. Same company. You have to take the good with the bad and stay tuned into your children. Which means check you children everyday. Watch their behavior toward people. Never think for one second that your child has a continual display of separation anxiety. The minute you suspect anything (if ever it happens) you can intervene as a parent before things get carried too far away. If you child is not able to talk good, that is when you as parent, needs to learn their actions. Never take anything for granted. Your personal investigation of people can possibly save you a world of trouble.

Amy - posted on 05/24/2012

I agree with Jackie. You and your husband will find ways to make it work. For example, tonight my husband and I put our little one to bed, rented a Redbox, snuggled up on the couch, and chowed down on some awesome Chinese food. It was really nice...and cheap too! lol :) Doesn't take much to have a good time. It's what ya make of it.

Amy - posted on 05/24/2012

I wouldn't. Why? Google Nannies/babysitters caught on camera. Um yeah, that's why. Why risk having someone you barely know with your precious baby just for a few hours out. Eh. :/ You're worry now,...and you haven't even left your child with one of these nannies/babysitters. How do you think you'll feel when/if you actually do it? I only allow my family and very close friends to watch my little one. Just my personal opinion on this. Luan, good luck with whatever you decide to do. :) Have a nice and relaxing weekend everyone!

Jackie - posted on 05/24/2012

I was in your situation. No family or friends to watch my son. I am proud to say though that he is now 3 years old and has never been in the care of someone else. Some might say I'm dumb or stupid but I take pride in it. You and your husband can find ways to make it work. We did and here we are 3 years later.

Kaylee - posted on 05/24/2012

Definitely NOT over reacting!! That's YOUR little baby!! YOUR OWN LITTLE HUMAN BEING TO KEEP HAPPY, SAFE, WARM AND COMFORTABLE! Your a mom!! LOL Its definitely ok to "over react".. And your very very right! The person that comes into your home could be ANY CRAZY DRUG ADDICT CHILD MOLESTER! AHH!! It's scary! Just BC they pass a background check doesn't necessarily mean they're innocent people, it just means they haven't been caught yet.. Sad to say, my ONLY advice to you would be to..
Skip this date, if money is an issue. (Just for now..)
Invest in a nanny cam.
Set it up and don't travel far the first time you go. (Incase you have to rush home)
If all is well.. You'll be fine! :) If not, atlesst you'll know AND you'll have video evidence! :)) Either way momma, you'll ALWAYS WORRY! ;) GOOD LUCK!!

Djohnson965 - posted on 05/24/2012

I wouldn't. I have raised 5 kids and didn't leave them much as babies as we had no family that could watch them either. Left child #1 for the first time at 6 months and she screamed the whole time. If I didn't have this one friend that was prepped for the challenge who knows how a stranger that had no connection to me would have handled the situation. Too frightening for me.

Brandy - posted on 05/24/2012

I don't think your over reacting at all it's your child your talking about. I also agree with Tammy. Bartering with the other mothers might also help someone else in a similar situation. Good luck and have a wonderful evening out with your husband we all need that time to recharge and reaffirm our love.

Marty - posted on 05/24/2012

your closest friends that you trust could be a psycho behind closed doors dear.
Its a risk we take when we trust people.

I would suggest posting it somewhere that your looking for a part-time babysitter (basically someone who's on call for when you need one) and take name and numbers and basically do interviews. Meet a couple, ask them any questions that may concern you, lay down your expectations and make sure they would agree to doing that BEFORE he/she is left alone with ur child. It may sound like a pain in the ass, but ur a mom, and u have every right to allow nobody else but someone you trust in your home, nobody how badly you may trust a stranger.

Christina - posted on 05/24/2012

I still havent left my children with a babysitter and they are 7 and 8!! (I know, Im too paranoid!). My mom watches them about 3 times a year so we can go out
and the rest of the time its a DVD and takeout!

Brandee - posted on 05/24/2012

Hi I am a mother of 4 boys and I know how hard it is to raise them, especially when you have no family and very little friends. I don't work so I don't need a sitter for that. I could use one for once a month so I could go out wjhen I don't have friends or little family to take them so my husband and I could go out. I do think If needed I may consider even for a night out. Within causin, I am very protective of who I leave my kids with. I feel a good interview and having met the person, It could be all good.

Elfrieda - posted on 05/23/2012

yes, I would. Obviously I'd want to meet the person first, but how is it different from daycare or something like that? Probably they'll be more reliable than the 14-year-old neighbour.

Terina - posted on 05/23/2012

sorry that last post i was getting at the point made about not going out , kinda got a bit side tracked ,ooops

Terina - posted on 05/23/2012

i wouldnt personally, but thats just me , and believe me 3 months isnt that long ! lol , itend to agree with others about mentioning to others at toddler group you know them a little better personally wouldnt leave my kids with someone i dont know the only time ive evr done that is nursery/preschool i wouldnt have a stranger in my home while i was out the house to look after my kids. id rather a new friend do it who you trust and who you kids know for a start,or have a sitter recommended , recomendations go far in my book , i do have a family memeber that could babysit for us but very very rarely , im talking a couple of times a year, yet others i knwo are very privialaged to have sitter on hand every weekend and free of chrge too. it makes the times more special for us and if were that desperate we wait till the kids are in bed and have a take away delivered ..... no cooking no having to dress up no one has to drive and in comfort!

Keli - posted on 02/05/2012

I dont think i would. but im also a over-reactor paranoid peson lol,I would rather talk with other moms at a mom/tot group to see if they have one to recomend,or i just use people i know if its someone i cant trust 100% i stay home. and your right the perfect nanny,can end up being a total psycho.

Sherri - posted on 02/04/2012

Sure if you worry set up a nanny cam.

Ania - posted on 02/04/2012

That was my issue, but I live in Manhattan and here most women use nannies, so we exchange information about them on the internet. Still I didn't leave my son with the sitter for 2 hours until he was 6 months old

Kelly - posted on 02/03/2012

I would mention your situation to the other moms in your group first, even if they cannot help themselves, they may be able to recommend someone they use.



We did have to hire in a nanny when J was little. If you choose a reputable agency, you should be fine, but as an added precaution, you can use your home security system. We let our nanny know that the video surveillance was on 24/7 in our home. Our security agency offers a service where you can access a live feed of your cameras from any computer or phone (I think most offer this service now), but we did not use that option. We were able to spend several weeks with her before leaving J in her care while we were not home, and by then, we trusted her....but because I am paranoid, I did review the videos after the fact for the first few times....and periodically after that. Basically, they are less likely to do anything questionable if they know they are being documented. Of course, if they just "snap" there is nothing you can do about it, but chances are that they will hold their nerves and if they realize that it is becoming too difficult, they will tell you before they snap.

Erin - posted on 02/03/2012

I agree with Tammy. I would talk with the moms from your group. They may know more people in your area and may be able to suggest a baby sitter.

Tammy - posted on 02/02/2012

I would mention your situation with the Moms from the parents group... there may be some that are in a similar spot. Maybe you can set up sort of a barter system. You care for their child so they can go out one night and they care for your child a different night in exchange. Truly it is typically easier (especially when they are a bit older) to look after two children (because they keep each other entertained) than just your own. Good luck and if all else fails... make date night at home after the baby is in bed. It is important for you and husband to make time to reconnect as a couple!